Carving the Ice Prince
by ghirahim
Summary: Rukia just entered her first year of college at Rukongai and with her big brother unwittingly scaring away anyone who gets near her there is very little hope for a social life. Luckily, seireitei-dot-org might be able to help her out...
1. 1: The Brother as Cold as Ice

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction and blah, blah, blah. I also do not own any of the mentioned or referenced manga or video games.

A/N: _"other side of the telephone"_

* * *

"_A Family Without A Black Sheep Is Not A Typical Family."  
-He__inrich Böll_

* * *

Nineteen-year-old Kuchiki Byakuya removed his reading glasses and scanned the room full of scared subordinates daring not to make eye contact with him or even glance in his general direction. The black-haired teen knew this whole student government thing was just a glorified popular contest – the only reason why he was even the president, as shallow as it seemed, was due to his looks; after all he was only a second year and while it was possible it was pretty damn rare to have third and fourth years willing to take orders from their kōhai. Regardless of the situation refusing such an 'honorable' position atop the student body wasn't something someone in the Kuchiki clan could do.

"K-Kuchiki-senpai?" Gray eyes glanced over at the nervous looking, slightly shaking noirette holding the clipboard. "A-All the p-preparations for the c-cultural festival are complete."

"I should hope so Hinamori, considering the cultural festival is tomorrow."

The entire room stiffened in their seats and Byakuya resisted the strong urge to sigh. He couldn't even form a decent conversation with any of these idiots because they were either too busy openly gawking at him to actually listen or they were scared shitless and visibly shaking in their seats. It wasn't as though he was an unpleasant fellow, he merely _seemed_ unapproachable – but it was just in his breeding.

Byakuya glanced up at the incredibly stiff members of the counsel paying very close attention to whatever the hell was in front of them. This clearly wasn't going anywhere and contrary to popular belief he wasn't a very patient man.

Byakuya pinched the bridge of his nose. "If there are no other concerns this meeting is adjourned." No sooner had the words left his lips the room cleared out. Now sighing outwardly, the nineteen-year-old gathered his bearing then slowly got out of his seat leaving the student government room.

Out in the hallway, Byakuya spotted some blond happily chatting away with his sister Rukia so he decided to approach the duo. What sort of brother would he be if he didn't? Once he reached them the blond almost immediately tensed up then slowly looked over his shoulder at Byakuya wide-eyed.

"K-Kuchiki-sama..." He squeaked out.

"Is something wrong nii-san?" His sister, Rukia, asked. The blond glanced at Byakuya then Rukia then back at Byakuya.

"N-Nii-san?" Rukia stared at the blond still staring wide-eyed at her brother. "I didn't even touch her!" Byakuya blinked as the blond ran down the opposite side of the hallway nearly knocking a few students down in the process.

Rukia sighed, "we weren't doing anything nii-san, I was just getting directions to my next class."

"I never accused you of doing anything Rukia."

The eighteen-year-old grimaced. "No. I suppose you didn't." She sighed again. Deciding its best to change the subject. "Remember, its your turn to make dinner tonight."

"I know, after class I planned to do some shopping."

"Okay, well I guess I'll go home since my next class isn't for another two hours."

"Then I'll see you later."

Forcing a smile, the eighteen-year-old nodded. "Yup. Later nii-san."

… …

A few minutes later Rukia stepped into her house then dropped her backpack down onto the floor and trudged over to the couch where she gracelessly plopped down face first. Even in college her brother was still scaring the hell out of their peers. It wasn't fully his fault though, Byakuya wasn't really all that patient and people usually overreacted in his presence.

Regardless of the people in question, it was pretty obvious her brother's menacing aura was taking a major toll on her social life [or lack thereof]. The eighteen-year-old never went on a date, she'd never been kissed, hell she never even flirted with anyone, and since all her friends were intimidating by her brother she never even spent the night away from her own house!

Sighing, Rukia sat up then located her bag on the floor before putting it in her lap. It made no sense to think about how much her life sucked – after all, it could always suck a lot more. Though she sincerely doubted it.

With her bag in tow, the noirette trudged into her bedroom, threw her bag onto the bed, then plopped down in her computer chair. When life gets you down there is nothing better than watching a bunch of idiots make fools out of themselves via internet; it usually cheered the eighteen-year-old up. The noirette was aimlessly surfing through various random search engines when a particular website caught her eye.

"Seireitei ...dot org?" Purple eyes narrowed as the noirette skimmed the website's description. "A 'fantasy satisfaction guarantee' organization?" Intrigued, she clicked the link and read the intro. "Yada, yada, yada... our employees are a cross between hosts and adult phone entertainers?" The gobsmacked noirette hesitantly continued reading. "Blah, blah, blah... the employees range in all different shapes and sizes to fit your needs; they will guarantee that even the most socially inept individuals will have a good time (whether its via phone, internet, or face-to-face) etc, etc, etc. Hmmm..."

Rukia tapped her chin as she kept reading the rest of the description in silence. Byakuya was perhaps the most socially inept individual this side of Tokyo –maybe even the entire world! If these people could get him to have a good time with some kind of hot host/adult phone entertainer-esque individual she'd willingly spend her entire life savings on it! Besides, Byakuya wasn't a bad guy, he just seemed to unwittingly and unwillingly and exude this aura that frightened the hell out of every living creature within a one-hundred mile radius. Nevertheless, her brother was definitely worth all this and he deserved to have a good time so he wouldn't mentally terrorize any of her friends or potential love interests. All in all it was a win-win situation.

The noirette scrolled down to the employees profile when she heard the front door open. Eyes widening, the eighteen-year-old quickly placed the website in her favorites before closing the tab and opening one with the school's main website. Fortunately, her brother wasn't the meddling type – which was the exact opposite of what she was (of course she wasn't on trial here so her meddling was completely irrelevant) – but most of her friends said that because Byakuya didn't hover over her or concern himself with her every action it made him even more imposing ...if that was even possible.

Rukia stuck her head out of the doorway and saw her brother gracefully walk into the kitchen putting away some groceries. While looking up that seireitei website she actually forgot he was supposed to make dinner. Frowning, the eighteen-year-old continued to look at her brother put away the groceries. She couldn't begin to fathom how her brother managed to make the most trivial actions seem elegant.

"Rukia."

The eighteen-year-old nearly jumped up. "H-Huh?" She fully removed herself from the doorway and stood in the hallway. "Yes nii-san?"

"I have to go back to the school, so by the time you return from class dinner should be ready."

"Oh... okay." Nodding, Byakuya put away the last of the groceries before leaving the house. As the siblings were still technically minors they lived in the house with their father and grandfather. It was a two-story house so the siblings lived upstairs while their father and grandfather took the first floor. But both guardians were rarely home and fully entrusted Byakuya to take care of the entire household in their absence.

Pulling back up the seireitei website, Rukia sat in her chair contemplating her next move. This website may have sounded suspicions but they did provide a money back guarantee and there was no fine print underneath that so she generally had nothing to lose. Again, a win-win situation.

Whoever Rukia picked from this website to loosen up her brother certainly had an impossible task ahead of them. The eighteen-year-old figured there had to be some sort of checklist for the rather unlucky individual, because when people attempted to loosen up her brother – both figuratively and literally – they ended up in a world of hurt and Rukia was certain it was due to the lack of research put into their flirtatious attempts.

While checking various pages of the website Rukia found out about the website's creator, Kyōraku Shunsui, and his reasons for creating a website like this. Oddly enough, seireitei was only created three months ago and was immensely popular from the start, not that Rukia could find fault in that especially surveying the employees ...and on the subject of employees Rukia found the current 'employee of the month.' An apparent new feature they just included this month.

There was a picture of a topless blue-haired guy with a broad, mischievous grin etched onto his incredibly attractive face. There were a few other pictures of him in similar states of undress and a few in which he was stripped down to his boxers. Rukia had to favorite those.

The noirette had to put some tissue by her nose to stop the blood from flowing out. If she was so spellbound by this guy then Byakuya would definitely find him attractive as well since the siblings shared similar tastes.

With her tissue handy, Rukia looked through more pictures of the blue-haired teen. According to his bio, Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow was an eighteen-year-old Leo born on July 31st. He was six months younger than her making him about a year-and-a-half younger than Byakuya despite being a few centimeters taller.

The noirette frowned as she read on and with each paragraph her frown increased. While Grimmjow was incredibly and almost unrealistically attractive he seemed a bit too ...crazy for her brother. If getting suspended numerous times throughout his three years of high school for fights that he, oddly, didn't even start wasn't enough getting arrested for fighting... not to mention several other misdemeanors from public indecency to vandalism were definitely a turn-off. Though Byakuya didn't seem to have a 'type' per se –he was a stoic, bonafide perfectionist, and Grimmjow was basically a wild child with a ridiculously short fuse. There was absolutely no doubt that their personalities would clash... and not in the best of ways.

Sighing in defeat, Rukia aimlessly roamed the website for another victim—er, employee. Of course if she didn't find anyone remotely satisfactory then she'd more than likely come back to Grimmjow. "I wonder why there aren't any female employees here..."

The eighteen-year-old clicked back onto the homepage with the info about the creation of seireitei and her eyes widened at the FAQ section. "_Q – Why aren't there any women working for seireitei? A – Not to be sexist, but no one usually asks for them. When I first started seireitei in August I used to have a few females but they were rarely called so eventually they got tired of being ignored and upstaged by their male counterparts that they just left. Apparently most of my customers are men seeking other men ...if you catch my drift. Not to say that I don't have a generous amount of female clientele seeking male companionship, but at least ninety percent of the customers here are male. But if you're looking for women don't worry, we are working on a sister website – no pun intended – that will be up and running as soon as we get enough volunteers._"

Despite the absence of the fairer sex Rukia really didn't see a problem; after all, when he didn't notice of course, she spotted her brother scoping out members of both genders but he never had a definitive preference between the two.

In fact, Byakuya often told her that gender didn't matter in terms of attractiveness. In Byakuya's own words attractiveness wasn't solely based on one's looks – it was also determined by demeanor, appearance, attitude, and a whole bunch of other crap that Rukia honestly forgot about. All and all it was basically a trifecta of attractiveness, attitude, and appearance that appealed to her brother and her as well.

Trifecta or not Rukia was almost positive with all the audacious, catty groupies pursing the nineteen-year-old on a daily basis Byakuya would develop, or already developed, severe misanthropic tendencies. So seireitei's lack of women was a plus.

"The checklist..." She muttered darkly. Seeing Grimmjow's mostly naked body nearly made her forget her purpose for even being on the website, it also made her slightly light-headed from the massive blood lose. Though the trifecta was the most important factor in finding a suitable companion, the second most important thing had to be education.

Byakuya was the number one student in the entire school even though he was only a second year. There was no freaking way he'd even stand to be around an idiot, and that wasn't just limited to conventional idiots either. If the two couldn't hold a conversation there was little hope for _any_ kind of relationship. Rukia often saw the members of the student government attempt to strike a conversation with her brother and get brutally rebuffed as they cowered at the mere glance of his ice cold gray eyes.

The third factor was chemistry. Naturally, Byakuya scared ninety-nine and nine tenth percent of the human race, but there was that near nonexistent one tenth of a percent could stand their ground against him. Though Rukia had yet to see anyone who fit that description, even she was terrified of her older brother. Nevertheless, this guy had to be in that one-tenth percentage if their relationship had any hope of coming to fruition.

The fourth and possibly final factor would be communication. Whether they got along or not wasn't an issue, because even arguing is a form of communication and if this individual actually got Byakuya to lose his composure it was an added bonus. Which brought Rukia's thoughts back to Grimmjow... there was a slight possibility of there being more than just a potentially mutual attraction between him and her brother. Grimmjow seemed like the kind of guy to deliberately push someone's buttons; that mischievous smirk was all the proof Rukia needed.

After a few more minutes of aimlessly searching Rukia sighed beginning to lose hope when her alarm went off. Wide-eyed the noirette glanced toward her clock. "Shit, I have to go back to school." Sighing dejectedly, the noirette almost closed the website when a particular employee caught her eye.

She must have clicked the page when the clock loudly rang and startled her. Further intrigued, clicked on his bio and favored the website. Judging by his main picture he seemed rambunctious yet a bit tamer than Grimmjow, and the very least adaptable. However, before she could continue she closed the website and took off her computer. The campus was ten minutes away and her class started in fifteen, it didn't make sense to get absorbed in another employee's website since she spent nearly an hour drooling over Grimmjow's. Besides, she had plenty of time to look up the employee after class.

With a smirk, she gathered her belongings. "Abarai Renji, hm?" Nodding to herself, Rukia left the house and headed back to school.

… …

As the alarm loudly went off, a tan bandaged hand shot out from under the covers then clamped onto the clock effortlessly throwing it against the wall smashing it into hundreds of tiny pieces.

"Dammit Ren-chan!" Was the screech the half-dormant redhead heard following by a familiar pair of footsteps approaching the bed before the sheets were violently ripped from his bed. The black-haired teen holding the sheets sighed. "You know Renji, I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that you sleep with boxers on."

Brown eyes lazily opened and the black-haired teen sat on the bare bed. "Kyōraku-san just called and it seems like we both have work today."

"Yumi~"

"Ah jeez..." A vein throbbed on the black-haired teen's head as a sliver of light blue hair appeared in the doorway. "What the fuck do you want Jaegerjaquez?"

"Is he decent?"

"Would you give a damn either way?"

Smirking, the blue-haired teen's full face peered from the doorway. "Nah. I guess not, but I figured you were having your wicked, wicked way with him Yumichika." Yumichika rolled his eyes as Grimmjow got closer. "Damn Renji looks thoroughly debauched."

"You might just choke on those fancy words Grimm-chan."

Plopping down on the other side of the bed, Grimmjow flipped Yumichika off before leaning forward and languidly running his tongue over the redhead's shoulder and neck before biting his ear.

Yumichika couldn't help but shudder then shake his head. "I always knew you had some sort of weird kink Jaegerjaquez, but biting?"

Grimmjow licked his lips. "Well its not my fault Renji is so damn bite-able." Yumichika facepalmed. "Aw baby, don't tell me you're jealous?"

"Jealous? Ha! I—" Grimmjow leaned over Renji's half-dormant body to bite Yumichika on the neck harsh enough to draw blood. Once satisfied, Grimmjow released the neck in question licking his lips while marveling at the forming red blotch on Yumichika's neck. "Better now?"

"No! Shit, what are you some kind of vampire?"

Smirking, Grimmjow pounced on the shorter teen. "Actually, I'd classify myself as more of a panther than a vampire. Care to know why?"

"Like hell I would!"

"Aw come on Yumi, don't be that way!"

"What... are you two doing?" Still caught in their compromising position, Grimmjow and Yumichika slowly turned toward the door where their roommate was leaning against the door frame raising an eyebrow.

"Starrk!" Yumichika cried while fending off his blue-haired assailant. "Help me! This idiot's gone batshit crazy!"

"Hmm..." The blue-gray eyed teen tapped his chin. "What's in it for me?"

"Have you gone nuts—"

Growling, Renji sat up pushing the loud idiots off the bed and onto the floor. "Would you two shut the hell up?"

"How rude!" Yumichika exclaimed crawling back over to the bed near Renji. "That bastard bit me!" He pointed to the giant red blotch on his neck. "He has some kind of biting fetish!"

Grimmjow licked his lips once more, "don't act like you didn't like it." Yumichika crawled impossibly closer to Renji then stuck his tongue out at his smirking blue-haired roommate. "Babe, I can find a better use for that particular appendage if you want." The shorter teen promptly shut his mouth and Grimmjow chuckled. "He's so fucking cute, I don't understand how he could be a host."

Starrk silently approached Yumichika effortlessly hoisting him in the air. "I believe its because he's so fucking cute is why he became a host."

Grimmjow looked stark once over. "Yeah, Kyōraku took a chance hiring him. The same could be said about you if you ever gave him a damn response."

"Sorry Grimm, I'm not as willful as you are when it comes to manipulating people. I really have to think hard about wanting to use my free time to jerk off old, unhappy men."

Renji sighed. "Not all the clients are old men Starrk."

"True, but most of them are."

"Look, old men need release too. You guys are too damn uptight." Grimmjow waved them off. "Anyway, its not like I get off to them getting off."

"You don't jerk off to any of your clients phone calls?" The blue-haired teen frowned and folded his arms over his chest and tilted his head to the right in a classic thinking pose. Starrk then glanced at Renji, "what about you Red?"

Sitting up, Renji rubbed his reddening ear. "I'm sure I have... I just can't remember. I'm pretty sure I haven't done it recently."

"Before you ask me..." Yumichika cut in, "the answer is no."

"Bullshit!" Grimmjow replied barking a laugh. "What about that new guy you're always cooing over?"

"I do not _coo_!" Yumichika huffed.

"Oh please. Even _I've_ seen you cooing over the phone, giggling and all sorts of shit, its actually kind of adorable." Yumichika flipped Starrk off. "But you know, you shouldn't get too attached to your client babe."

"I think its the other way around." Renji added yawning. "They get way too attached to us, which is why they keep calling."

"How is that a problem? It puts money in our pockets." Grimmjow nodded to himself, "I hope all my clients get attached to me."

"Whatever. Exactly how many clients do you get daily?"

"Ask Mr. Employee-of-the-Month over there." Yumichika jerked his thumb toward Grimmjow. "How many innocent victims are you seducing this week Grimm?"

The blue-haired teen wordlessly dug his cellphone out of his back pocket, flipped it open, then handed it to Yumichika who was still being held by Starrk.

The brunet whistled. "Four-hundred-thirty-one messages? All from seireitei?" Starrk shook his head. "I'm definitely considering joining now."

Yumichika handed the phone to Renji. "How come you haven't answered any of the messages yet Grimm?"

Grimmjow yawned. "I just got them this morning."

"Must suck not meeting any of them."

Grimmjow smirked crawling up to the bed near Renji, "actually I was about to say the exact opposite. I love just talking dirty to my clients, it beats the hell out of having to meet them or chat over the internet."

"So there are three ways to communicate with clients, hm? Interesting."

"Would you just sign up already?" Renji, Grimmjow, and Yumichika yelled.

"Okay, okay! I'll talk to Kyōraku-san after class." Starrk sighed, "fuck. But I wonder which one I would be better suited for?"

"Phone sex Starrk, your voice is almost as sexy as mine." Grimmjow purred.

"I think Starrk's voice is sexier than yours Grimm."

"Go fuck yourself Renji; I have the sexiest voice in seireitei that's why I'm the employee-of-the-month."

Starrk shrugged. "You're only the employee-of-the-month because I'm not there."

"What are you saying you lazy fucker? You'll beat me and become the top employee?"

"To quote a certain obnoxious roommate of mine. Hell. Fucking. Yeah."

Yumichika sighed and Renji shook his head, "here they go again. Uh, Starrk we should get to class."

"Right." The brunet slowly released Yumichika. "Catch you two later. " Sending one last smirk to Grimmjow Starrk left.

"As if that jackass can out sex me!"

Renji chuckled. "Arrogant much?"

"I'm not arrogant! Its the truth. I'll show him who's better—"

"A-Anyways, I'd better get to class too. See ya."

"Get 'em Yums!" Grimmjow hollered leaning forward and slapping the black-haired teen on the ass.

"You're such a perverted jackass..." Yumichika groaned walking out the door.

Grimmjow licked his lips, "he sure has one hell of a temper, ne?"

Renji shook his head. "Why don't you just fuck him already Grimmjow?"

"Are you shitting me? He may not look it, but Yumichika is an alpha. We could give one another head and frot or whatever but it won't go any further than that." Renji rose an eyebrow in blatant confusion. "An alpha ...you know, a top? Pitcher? Seme? I don't know how else to describe it."

"Renji's eyes widened. "W-Wait a minute, are you trying to tell me that our Yumi – Ayasegawa Yumichika – is a dom?"

"Well that is another way to call it."

"Yumichika, our 'babe' - the bossy, self-proclaimed beauty loving, pretty boy and baby of the group we've known since elementary school doesn't take it up the ass?"

"Nope."

"B-B-But he's so small... and _pretty_!"

"Its all about attitude Ren-chan and right now you are acting like a bonafide uke." Renji punched Grimmjow in the arm. "You fucker!"

"Nevermind that, what are you planning on doing with your little contest against Starrk?"

"What am I planning on doing? Is that even a question? I'm going to fucking mop the floor with his lazy ass."

"So, no wagers or anything?"

"Nah. I'm playing for keeps, I don't want any cheap trinkets, besides we already know he's broke."

"By the way, why the hell did you bite me?" Grimmjow wrapped his arms around the redhead's neck nuzzling it. "Don't dodge the question."

"Renji, my darling little switch, I'm fucking horny."

"When are you not? You've got libido to spare."

"True, but—" Groaning, the redhead got up bringing Grimmjow up with him. "You think you're stronger because you got three centimeters on me Red?"

"No. I'm stronger because I spend more time at the gym than I do talking to old men helping them get off."

"Its that sort of discriminatory attitude is why you don't get more clients! I keep telling you guys old men need release too. The sooner you accept it the more your popularity will grow."

"You forget, I only joined seireitei for kicks – and because I needed money. I don't give a shit about popularity."

"We all joined seireitei for kicks, dipshit, but you gotta admit its a hell of a lot of fun." Grimmjow grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively making Renji sigh. "And what's with this shit about you not caring about popularity, Mr. Fourth Place?" Renji sighed again. "You do realize old men are practically the majority of clients, right? I bet if you accepted more you'd jump up to a considerable number two. No, wait, I'm sorry. Number three – but I personally think you can give Star-kiss a run for his money."

"You always come up with the stupidest nicknames."

"Its a term of endearment."

"Whatever. Anyways, how about Yumi? He's already number two."

"Huh? Oh, I completely forgot about that." Grimmjow shrugged. "You can take him too."

… …

"A-Ayasegawa-kun!" Yumichika turned toward the direction of the voice. He spotted Yamada Hanatarō waving at him by the campus cafe. Waving back, he approached the shorter teen and greeted him. Since Starrk was a year older and neither Grimmjow nor Renji attended Rukongai University it was nice to hang around another classmate that wasn't desperate to get into his pants. However, not being enrolled never stopped the mooches from wreaking havoc during their frequent visits to the campus. Yumichika was surprised dean Yamamoto didn't just file some sort of restraining order or ban them from the premises.

It wasn't as though the idiots couldn't attend the school academically because they were actually a lot smarter than they looked; well, Renji anyway. But they both had part-time jobs aside from seireitei: Renji worked at a twenty-four hour convenience store and Grimmjow as the assistant sensei at the Hueco Mundo Dojo –the very same dojo that taught them how to fight many moons ago. As Starrk and Yumichika were in school, Renji and Grimmjow worked to even the odds – though with Grimmjow sudden and astonishing popularity with seireitei the teens were pretty much financially set for life.

According to Kyōraku, the rambunctious, raunchy blue-haired teen made more than four times the amount than the average employer; most likely due to his lack of morals. At the rate he was going the boss would be sent to an early and well-deserved retirement. Which said boss spoke of constantly.

The fall semester was pretty much over, but the idiots could always enroll for winter. It would take some serious convincing but he was certain they would be inclined to attend. Yumichika wasn't a second degree black belt for nothing, and even though Grimmjow could undoubtedly kick his ass in a fight the blue-haired horndog wouldn't hit Yumichika because he was so pretty – which gave Yumichika the advantage. And if he couldn't do it alone Starrk could be pretty convincing when necessary.

Whoever said beauty was a curse must have been horribly ugly... and possibly braindead.

"Ayasegawa-kun?" Yumichika looked down at Hanatarō's concerned expression then at his surroundings. The two black-haired teens were sitting on some stools in the cafe drinking smoothies. "Are you alright?"

"Sorry Hanatarō-kun, my mind was on auto-pilot."

"Ah, I know what you mean." Yumichika nodded slowly slurping his smoothie. "But I was asking you about your latest client? You know, the one Shūhei-senpai said you were obsessed with."

Yumichika spit out his drink all over the table. "I'm not obsessed! What the hell is with everyone? Is it weird to find enjoyment in one's job?"

"You enjoy talking to him?"

Yumichika facepalmed. "We are _so _not having this conversation!"

"O-Okay." Oddly enough, Hanatarō was both a classmate and an employee of seireitei – which was where they met. However, the shorter teen lacked the confidence to actually engage with the customers so he was the website's secretary and handler of sorts. He often updated the pages, bios, FAQs, and transferred first timers to their respective choice hosts... among other menial secretary like things; it was his idea to incorporate the whole employee-of-the-month shtick.

"Hanatarō-kun." Yumichika cooed, batting his long eyelashes. Hanatarō gulped, when Yumichika poured on the sexy trouble was about to ensue. "Are you doing anything tonight?" Hanatarō slowly shook his head. He definitely didn't like where this conversation was heading. "Wonderful! The five of us should hang out. Oh, I guess six since Shūhei-senpai would want to tag along too."

"Uh... I-I don't know—"

"Oh come on! Every time you see Grimmjow you sprint off, you've never uttered more than two words to Renji, and you've never even met Starrk! Those idiots have been my best friends since elementary school, that's why we're living together off campus, that's why we joined seireitei together – well most of us, and that's why I'm going to get Grimm and Renji to enroll here. I figured all of my close friends should get to know each other on a personal level. That way we can all be one big happy circle of friends, or some cheesy shit like that."

"Y-You consider me a close friend?"

"Of course I do! I may be a narcissist but I'm not shallow... at least I don't consider myself to be; I wouldn't go through all of this if I didn't value your friendship."

"I suppose not. But Ayasegawa-kun, I-I really don't think Jaegerjaquez-san likes me."

Yumichika waved him off. "What's with the formality? Didn't I just say we were friends?" Hanatarō nodded meekly. "And as far as Grimmjow is concerned he _does_ like you but you've never given him the chance to talk considering you usually run away whenever you're in his proximity. Although Grimmjow can be quite terrifying to newcomers so I sort of understand your fear."

Hanatarō gulped. "Just give them a chance. I'll be there to protect you~"

The shorter teen sighed. Yumichika seemed adamant about letting them all hang out, beside he didn't have anything to lose ...aside from his sanity and possibly his virginity. He heard stories from Shūhei how handsy Grimmjow could be. "O-Okay." Yumichika cheered. "W-What about hanging out at the cultural festival tomorrow?" That way he could have a few hours to mentally compose and brace himself for the worst.

"Sounds great! I—" Yumichika's cell started buzzing in his pocket, frowning the taller teen pulled said phone out of his pocket and stared at it. "Oh? Its my new client."

"You sure do sound excited to hear from him."

"What? I do not!" Huffing, Yumichika leaned back in his seat and flipped open his phone. "Moshi moshi, yeah its good to hear from you too..."

Hanatarō watched in awe as the taller, albeit younger, teen chatted away on the phone. Rather than have regular clients call through the main phone number, located on the website's homepage, Kyōraku thought it would be easier to give each employee a phone purchased by the company so they would be easier to contact.

Downing the rest of his smoothie, Hanatarō fished out his own seireitei phone out of his pocket and glanced at the clock. Yumichika was still aimlessly chatting away with his new mystery client like they were old friends. Not that it was a stretch, Yumichika was a very friendly individual – borderline inappropriately so. It was nothing short of a miracle that someone as beautiful as him would even talk to much less befriend someone as ordinary as Hanatarō. It still perplexed the shorter teen. Had he not gotten lost and accidentally wandered into Kyōraku's home looking for directions nearly two months ago they would not have met.

Hanatarō blinked nearly dropping the cellphone that buzzed in his hand. Hesitantly, he picked it up holding it against his ear though he wasn't an official host he did get a few attempted clients. However, he managed to convince them all to call different employees.

The point is, Hanatarō wasn't anywhere near as bold as Yumichika to be able to have phone sex in public. No sir. In fact, it wasn't all that comfortable doing it privately either. Not that he had much experience in the matter. The only time he tried to have any sort of verbal sex was in the privacy of his dorm with his roommate, Kensei, needless to say it ended in a catastrophic failure.

"M-Moshi moshi?"

"_Ah, Hanatarō-kun, glad I caught you."_

"Oh! Kyōraku-san ...is something wrong?"

"_I wouldn't say 'wrong' but I need you to come over when you have the time."_

"Well I don't have anymore classes today so I—"

"_Great. I'll see you in a little while. You remember how to get here don't you?"_

"Yes but—" Hanatarō stared at his cellphone in horror as his boss hung up on him. It was typical of the eccentric man to call him on a whim. The 'headquarters' for seireitei was one of the many home offices in Kyōraku's home, most likely paid for by Grimmjow's popularity.

Sighing, Hanatarō stood and Yumichika put his hand against the receiver of his cell. "Where are you going Hana-chan?"

"Kyōraku-san just called, I need to go to his place."

Yumichika stood as well, "I'll go with you."

"Y-You really don't have to."

Tsk-ing, the taller teen wrapped an arm around Hanatarō. "Now, now, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't? Besides, in Kyōraku-san's neighborhood the guys hit on you like crazy."

The shorter teen scratched the back of his neck. "I—"

"Great, then its settled!"

Once the teens entered Kyōraku's home, they spotted the man haphazardly laying on the couch. The brunet wanted his job to be close to home – no pun intended – since he did everything himself ...at least he did before he was fortunate enough to find one clumsy and adorable little teen stalking around the neighborhood looking for directions. It had been almost two months since he hired the timid teen and he was quite well at what he did, in fact he was so good that Kyōraku gave him the key to his place.

The boss greeted his two employees. "I see you brought Yumichika-kun."

"I-I hope that's not a problem."

"Not at all." Kyōraku motioned them to have a seat on the couch as he sat up. "So... Hanatarō-kun a slew of clients have been asking about you so I figured its about time you got your own page."

"M-Me?" He asked pointing to himself.

"That's great!" Yumichika cheered glomping onto the shorter teen.

"You're the reason behind the website's success and recent spike in popularity ...if it were not for your intense organization skills the website wouldn't be as informative and well thought out nor would we have the entire employee-of-the-month thing meaning Grimmjow-kun wouldn't be so well known, also meaning I wouldn't be able to take the trips to Hong Kong and the Cayman Islands I've been planning." The brunet cleared his throat. "But I digress, there have been tons of e-mails and phone calls asking about the cute kid in a few of Shūhei-kun and Yumichika-kun's pictures."

Hanatarō gaped at his classmate. "y-you posted those pictures on the website?"

"What? They were good pictures." Hanatarō cradled his face in his hands groaning. "And I don't know how you didn't see them earlier, you basically manage the website." Yumichika shrugged, "if its any consolation you really are cute."

Kyōraku cleared his throat. "Now I won't force you into it." Hanatarō slowly lifted his flushed face from his hands. "In my opinion I believe its a good idea for you to have your own page and bio. Not only will you get your own fan base of clients but it will do wonders for your self-esteem."

"Not if no one requests me."

"Nonsense!" Yumichika slapped him on the back. "I bet you'll be more popular than Grimm."

"Then he'll really hate me."

Kyōraku chuckled then cleared his throat again when Hanatarō looked at him. "Look, you still reserve the right to decline clients if you choose. And you don't have to do anything _too_ perverted... everyone, excluding Grimmjow-kun, has morals they abide by."

With the blush still evident on his face Hanatarō nodded slowly. "I-I'll do it."

"Yay!" Yumichika cheered hugging the shorter teen.

"Glad to have you aboard full-time, well as full-time as an internet host club/phone sex site can be." Kyōraku leaned forward shaking the timid teen's slightly shivering hand. "Naturally you'll have to make your own bio since you've done such a wonderful job with everyone else's."

Hanatarō nodded. "Good." Kyōraku stood up stretching. "I'll leave you to your work, oh, and make sure to have a few pictures of him half-naked Yumichika-kun. I'll be back to check up on your work in an hour."

Yumichika gave the boss a thumbs up. "Will do chief."

"W-Wait a minute Ayasegawa-kun—"

"Formality!" Hanatarō shrunk back. "And don't worry Hana-chan you'll have the second best page on the website..." The taller teen smiled evilly rubbing his hands together, "next to mine of course."

… …

After a half hour of working Yumichika felt that it was somehow better to finish the profile at his apartment. Sure, it was merely a flimsy pretense to get Hanatarō to finally visit his place but Kyōraku didn't seem to mind and that was all that truly mattered. The eighteen-year-old bounced up and down in his seat awaiting his shorter, five month older classmate's arrival.

"Aren't you getting just a bit too excited Chi?" Shūhei remarked. Hisagi Shūhei was another student of Rukongai University, though he was a second year like Starrk, he was also an employee of seireitei. He met Starrk prior to joining seireitei, with shared classes and whatnot, and through him he met and bonded with his fellow seireitei co-workers and, unlike Hanatarō, was willing to put up with the group's constant craziness and sexual harassment.

"You have no idea senpai, I've been trying to get Hana-chan here for over a month and each time I've been harshly rejected."

Shūhei sighed, "so this is about you not handling rejection more than getting Hanatarō to come here and hang out?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Shūhei rose an eyebrow making Yumichika pout, "they're both equally important." The doorbell rang and Yumichika sprang out of his seat. "He's here!"

Shūhei shook his head as the shorter teen all but ran to the door but froze when he saw Starrk trudging toward the door.

The blue-gray eyed teen opened the door halfway, due to the door chain. Spotting an unfamiliar albeit adorable black-haired teen on the other side, Starrk immediately shut the door for a split second before fully opening it. "Well, well..." He leaned against the door frame smirking, "the name's Starrk and you are?"

"H-Hanatarō."

Starrk's smirk broadened as he grabbed Hanatarō's left hand kissing it. "Can't say we've had the pleasure of meeting Hanatarō-chin." The shorter teen blushed profusely and Starrk took the opportunity to pull him inside shutting the door behind them. "So, Hanatarō-chin, do you attend Rukongai or are you working for seireitei."

"B-Both."

"Really?" Yumichika stomped over to the duo forcibly pulling Hanatarō away from Starrk then poking the taller teen in the chest.

"Leave Hanatarō-kun alone, can't you see you're making him nervous?"

"Buzz off Yumi, we're getting better acquainted. Besides, if I was making him nervous he would have said so. Furthermore, how dare you keep such a cute classmate from me."

"I—" Groaning, Yumichika threw his hands up in the air. "I don't even know why I bother!" Mumbling incoherently to himself, he grabbed Hanatarō's hand pulling him toward his room. "I'm showing Hanatarō-kun his seireitei page."

"Ooh, I wanna see that." The three dark-haired teens turned toward a boxer-clad Grimmjow who was holding a carton of milk next to the open refrigerator. "Beansprout's quite fuckable, so its understandable that you two would claw one another for him." The blue-haired teen paused to gulp down some milk. "Anyways, lets see the page." Closing the refrigerator behind him, Grimmjow walked off.

"Well if Grimm is looking I want to see it too."

Purple eyes narrowed and Yumichika sighed. "Of course you would."

When the trio ventured into Yumichika's bedroom they found Grimmjow and Renji hanging off Shūhei who was sprawled out on Yumichika's bed. "Oi, what the fuck is going on here?"

"We were waiting for the unveiling."

Yumichika rolled his eyes then sat down in the bed. Grimmjow pulled Hanatarō into the center and everyone else gathered around. The six teen semi-comfortably laid on each other staring at the screen as Hanatarō's page loaded.

Starrk sighed. "Your laptop is slow as shit Shū."

"You're welcome to buy me a new one Starrk."

"No thanks." Hanatarō gulped with each increasing percentage. He might have trusted Yumichika to work on his page alone, but said teen was an incredibly flashy individual so when he did something he generally did it with gusto ...and for someone as both paranoid and unlucky as Hanatarō that flashiness was quite unnerving, mainly when the flashiness in question was directed at him. Once the page fully loaded the six teens leaned impossibly closer to the laptop screen.

Hanatarō stared at the computer in complete and absolute horror. The background color of his page was striped black and purple; that part he didn't mind too much – even though those were Yumichika's two favorite colors. He didn't even mind that his measurements, greatest fears, allergies, favorite foods, criminal record (or lack thereof), or class schedule were given out in his bio – well the schedule was a bit much, but the thing that he minded the most were the half-naked pictures littering his profile. Sure, he agreed (sort of) to _a few_ half-naked pictures but most of them had him asleep either topless, boxer-clad, or both.

"So, you like?" Shūhei asked patting the shortest teen on the shoulder.

"W-When did you take these pictures?"

"I'm not exactly sure..." Everyone, minus Hanatarō, stared at Grimmjow who started whistling rather loudly and completely off-key. Hanatarō paled. He could see the blue-haired teen stripping him while he slept and taking several indecent pictures of him. Though the shortest teen was surprised he wasn't completely naked in any of them. Having been born on April Fools Day Hanatarō already knew he was an unlucky individual, but whenever he was in the same vicinity as the blue-haired devil his bad luck increased tenfold; which was why he was prone to sprinting whenever Grimmjow's name was even mentioned.

Starrk crawled over to the blue-haired teen. "I don't suppose you have any with him fully naked, do you?" He whispered.

"Nah. Unfortunately I ran out of film, but I could if you want."

Yumichika glared at the two, "what you two whispering about over there?"

"Nothing." Grimmjow frowned. "I was just saying he'd look even cuter if he was awake stripped down to his boxers." He elbowed the tallest teen in the group, "right Starrk?"

"Huh? Oh absolutely."

Shūhei tapped his chin, "true... what do you think Renji?"

"Of course I agree, but I think he'd get more hits if you left him asleep in them all *Kakushidori is pretty popular nowadays, right?"

"I'm going to have to disagree with your second statement but the first is valid so the pictures stay." Yumichika nodded to himself and the others agreed.

"Uh, aren't you going to ask what I think?" Everyone turned to Hanatarō shaking their heads.

"Hey, what's that thing at the bottom right corner of the page?" Starrk asked clinging closer to Hanatarō.

"That's the popularity poll. Hanatarō-kun just installed it before I worked on his page. It totals the age groups of our customers."

Renji frowned. "I don't think I'd want to know that."

"Nonsense!" Shūhei patted the redhead on the back. "Lets look at it now!"

"I think we should use Starrk's laptop too, I can't breathe!" Yumichika rasped out clawing at the air.

Sighing, the blue-gray eyed teen slowly got up and walked toward the kitchen where his laptop was. Once he retrieved the needed item, he returned to the room and plopped down on the bed next to Shūhei who was navigating his own laptop. As Starrk got seated the rest started laying on one another to get a good view with Hanatarō, being the smallest, comfortably laying between Starrk and Shūhei.

Yumichika sighed, "I don't think my bed was made for six people to lay on on top of each other."

"Hey, you don't hear the rest of us— Grimmjow get your hands off my ass!"

"Oops, sorry Red, I thought that was my ass." Renji glared at the smirking, eyebrow waggling teen.

Once Starrk's laptop started up Grimmjow scowled at the laptop. "Why the fuck do you have this picture here?"

"Hmm..." Yumichika tapped his chin, "wasn't that from our second year of jr. high school? You know the school wide trip to Okinawa?"

Starrk nodded. Hanatarō glanced at the picture Grimmjow seemed incredibly upset about seeing just before the seireitei homepage appeared.

In the picture were seven teens smiling, somewhat, and giving the peace sign leaning on a Shisa. The seven teens in clockwise order were: Renji, Yumichika, Starrk (who probably shouldn't have been with them as he was a third year at the time), an unfamiliar blond male, an unfamiliar bespectacled black-haired female, Grimmjow, and an unfamiliar black-haired male with bright green eyes. One of the unfamiliar individuals must have really pissed Grimmjow off enough to be upset by merely seeing an old photo of them.

Clicking on the employee-of-the-month link they immediately spotted the new edition to the profile. One poll stating nearly ninety percent of Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow's clients were over the age of thirty-nine; about nine percent were in the eighteen to twenty-three age group and less than three percent were between twenty-four and thirty-eight. In accordance to the gender difference poll, conveniently located below the age poll, it was split down the middle fifty-fifty.

"Is this some kind of fucking joke? Nearly ninety percent?" Grimmjow shook his head.

"Why are you complaining now?" Renji smirked at him. "You're the one that said they're the majority and we shouldn't be so damn uptight?"

"Aw, shut the fuck up. I still have a young base of clients."

"As if that truly matters."

"Shh! We're getting to my page!" On Shūhei's laptop had Yumichika's page. "I look so gorgeous." Yumichika cooed ignoring the sighs of everyone else.

Seventy-three percent of Yumichika's clients were between the ages twenty and twenty-five. Not even one percent were eighteen or nineteen, and the other twenty-six percent were twenty-six to forty. As far as the gender difference ninety percent were female. Yumichika whistled. "I had no idea I was so appealing to women..."

Shūhei clicked on his own page through Yumichika's friends/contact list, another new feature. The nineteen-year-old had less than one percent male clients, as far as age was concerned all of his clients were evenly divided between age groups: fifty percent for ages eighteen to twenty-eight and fifty percent for ages twenty-nine and up.

"Hey, Starrk, did you talk to Kyōraku-san yet?"

"Yeah. I said to ask Hanatarō-chin to help with my profile."

Yumichika took Starrk's hand off Hanatarō's. "I'll help too."

"Hey, shut up down there. We saved the best profile for last." Grimmjow nudged Renji smirking.

The redhead sighed as Starrk pulled up his profile. Renji was surprised by his main picture change, most likely caused by Yumichika, instead of just sitting there yawning he was now grinning like a Cheshire cat wearing a suit and eating onigiri he even had a bit of rice over his face. Oddly enough Renji didn't remember an instant like that... or even owning that suit. To confirm his suspicions, Renji glanced at the purple-eyed teen who vehemently refused to make eye contact with him.

Renji scrolled down to his poll. The data displayed ninety-three percent of his clientele were male; zero percent of his clients were eighteen, only three percent were over forty, and twenty-seven percent were spread out between twenty-one and thirty-nine, and finally seventy percent were either nineteen or twenty.

"Hey Grimmjow, if you have an even amount of male and female clients why are you always getting off old men?"

"Because, idiot, all my female clients are one-timers while the 'old men' in question are regulars ...most living unhappily and unsatisfied with their salaryman lives or bitching wives."

"Dude that totally rhymed." Shūhei said earning a facepalm from Renji.

Starrk cleared his throat. "Let me see if I understand Grimm... you're saying you have about, oh I don't know, five hundred clients weekly and lets say at least four-hundred and fifty of them are women that only call you once during that week; and the other fifty, which are men, call you repeatedly to make up for the other four-hundred women?"

Grimmjow, Hanatarō, and Shūhei stared at Starrk. "What?"

"The poll doesn't state who's a regular from who isn't. It just says gender."

Yumichika turned to Grimmjow, "are you absolutely sure all your female clients are one-timers?"

"I don't know. I really don't like women and I honestly don't pay attention since most of them sound the same." Yumichika facepalmed.

Starrk rubbed his hands together. "I can't wait. I really don't give a shit about figuring people out and I can fake interest like a pro."

"We should probably work on your profile now because I want to go to sleep early so I can wake up refreshed for the cultural festival." Yumichika glanced at Renji and Grimmjow. "Which we're _all_ going to!"

"Aww man!"

* * *

*_Kakushidori_ is taking pictures secretly; peeping photos.


	2. 2: The Rukongai Cultural Festival Part 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction and blah, blah, blah.  
_

_A/N: "other side of the telephone"_  
'_thoughts~'  
On 04/27/11... ¥28,615 = $350_

* * *

"_All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination."  
-Carl Jung _

* * *

"You don't look so good Ichigo." The redhead glared at his best friend from across the kotatsu, yet judging by the inexplicably tall brunet's impassive facial expression he was clearly unaffected.

"Damn Ichi, you're that pissed about Ishida dumping you?" A glare was sent in the shorter brunet's direction. "Guess that answers my question."

As the brooding redhead sighed, the other three occupants of the kotatsu exchanged questionable glances before looking back at him.

Sighing, the lone female in the group slammed her hands on the table. "For crying out loud! Kurosaki Ichigo you are fucking pathetic!"

"T-Tatsuki!"

"Shut up Keigo." Said brunet whimpered. "I don't know why you're so hung up on that jerk. Now, I'm sure you thought Ishida was a decent lay or whatever but there are plenty of other birds in the air or fish in the sea – or some other metaphor to detail this situation." Tatsuki sighed, "Ishida was bossy, unpleasant, bitchy, and condescending if you really wanted those qualities in a partner you can go and fuck Rangiku!" Ichigo shuddered violently. "And if you don't want to get smothered by her breasts then I'm sure we can find more willing partners suitable for your kink."

"Ooh! Speaking of kinks, Ikka-chan found this website called seireitei. Its practically dedicated to whetting the sexual appetite!"

"I've heard of that website." Keigo, Ichigo, and Tatsuki gaped at the tallest teen under the kotatsu.

"D-Don't tell me you actually went on it Chad?" Tatsuki asked and he nodded. "Okay. Show us." The noirette briefly left the kotatsu only to return shortly with Ichigo's laptop.

Keigo and Ichigo got up from their seats to hover around Chad along with Tatsuki. The silent giant pulled up the seireitei website and the trio looked on in awe. Chad browsed through random images on the homepage when Ichigo's hand grabbed the mouse. Tatsuki stared quizzically at the redhead. "What's up Ichigo?"

The redhead blushed then slowly retracted his hands. "N-Nothing..."

"Oh! I should call Ikkaku and ask him which one he's talking to." Keigo pulled out his cellphone and dialed '_I_' for Ikkaku.

"Better yet, tell him to come over so he can show us himself." Tatsuki said and Keigo gave her a thumbs up.

A few minutes later the bald teen entered his and Ichigo's dorm. "You know, when I'm not here it doesn't mean you ungrateful bastards can just occupy my dorm whenever the hell you want!"

"Aww, don't be like that Ikka-chan~!" Keigo exclaimed extending his arms toward the teen. "How's about you give me a hug?"

A vein throbbed on the teen's forehead. "How's about you get the hell out of my way?"

Keigo whimpered shrinking back. "Y-You treat me so bad..."

Ikkaku grunted. "Now I know this is my dorm, but what the hell did you call me for?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Ikkaku shook his head. "Show us the guy you're talking to one seireitei."

Ikkaku blushed grabbing Keigo by the collar. "I _thought_ I told you not to tell them about that!"

"Sorry. Ichi just got dumped and he's really down so I figured I'd show him the website to cheer him up. Please don't kill me!"

"Four-eyes dumped Ichigo? Must suck, they've been going out for what – seven years?" Keigo nodded meekly. "Fine!" Grunting, he released Keigo. "You so fucking owe me big time Asano."

"O-Of course."

Mumbling to himself, he pulled up the page and everyone's eyes widened. After a few seconds of awkward silence Ichigo burst out laughing. "No... that's not possible Ikkaku, I mean, he's way too pretty for you."

Keigo's eyes narrowed at the screen. "Ayasegawa Yumichika, why does that name sound so familiar?"

"He's a student here too." Eyes widening, Ikkaku slowly turned to Chad. "I have my literature and economics classes with him."

"W-Wait a minute ...you mean he's been paying to talk to someone over the phone when he could have spoken to him face-to-face for free?" Ikkaku glared at Keigo effectively shutting him up.

Tatsuki locked her hands behind her head. "Well Ayasegawa-san wouldn't make any money talking to Ikkaku face-to-face would he?" Ikkaku glared at the shrugging teen. "Its true."

"Not necessarily, you can pay to talk to them face-to-face..." Keigo turned in the other direction when Ikkaku glared at him again.

Ikkaku facepalmed. "You know what, forget it." He sighed. _'Fuck... I was better off not knowing how Yumichika looked, or that he was a student here.'_

"What's wrong Ikkaku? We're just telling you—"

"I said forget it!"

"Hey Ichi, what are you doing?" Since Chad was busy keeping the peace between Ikkaku and Tatsuki, Keigo noticed that Ichigo was far too quite so he peered over the redhead's shoulder to see what he was going. Ichigo was so enthralled in the page that he barely registered the brunet's existence until Keigo poked him in the cheek. Scowling, Ichigo's head snapped up toward Keigo's grinning face. "Looks to me that you're over Ishida, hm?"

Blushing slightly, Ichigo returned his undivided attention to the website. Shaking his head, Keigo plopped down beside the redhead reading the bio of one Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow. He was the current employee of the month of a website only operational for three months. Interesting. Keigo whistled in appreciation at a particular picture of the boxer-clad blue-haired teen haphazardly sprawled out on a bed. No wonder he was so popular.

"That's a pretty big bulge in his boxers Ichi~" Ichigo's blush deepened and Keigo frowned at the redhead. "I gotta ask you something... when you were with Ishida did you top or bottom?"

"Both, why?"

Keigo nodded. "I see."

"What do you mean you see?"

"What I mean is you are a bonafide uke when around someone more domineering and a total dom around someone submissive." Ichigo rose an eyebrow. "What? That's usually how the switch works." Keigo tapped his chin completely oblivious to Ichigo's bewildered expression. "Though I'm a little surprised Ishida actually topped, how often did he do it?"

"Not often. It was once in a—wait, why the hell am I telling you this?"

"Come on Ichi, don't be such a prude! I just want to know how much is not often."

"Stop talking about that kind of stuff Keigo!"

Chad, Tatsuki, and Ikkaku all leaned over Keigo flattening him onto the table. "Who. Is. That?" Tatsuki asked clicking on another picture of a boxer-clad, mischievously grinning, pillow wielding Grimmjow hanging off an equally half-naked Yumichika, and a boxer-clad redhead who's face was unseen by the pillow thrown at him. "And more importantly, where can we have a pillow fight like that?"

"Oi, isn't that your guy Ikkaku?" Keigo asked wiping the blood from his nose pointing to Yumichika. He managed to slip out from under the mob to get a better look at the image. Possibly the only advantage of being the shortest one in the group, it was a sad fact but even Tatsuki was taller and more muscular than him.

"He's not _my_ guy." Ikkaku grumbled miserably. Even before knowing how good-looking the black-haired teen was Ikkaku found himself drawn to Yumichika merely by his voice, finding out that the sexy voice was housed by an equally sexy individual was nothing short of hell because now Ikkaku would crave seeing Yumichika instead of just hearing his voice.

Tatsuki clicked on the next image with the trio along with another guy laying in a giant king-sized bed. "I can't believe you're actually having phone sex with this guy. What's he sound like? And how does phone sex actually work? I mean, _I know_ how it works, but does he top or bottom?"

"I'm curious too." Keigo interrupted, "he's got the face and build of an uke but I'm willing to be he's a seme."

"I was thinking the same exact thing." Tatsuki replied nodding to herself.

Ikkaku blushed slightly. "I wouldn't know whether he tops or bottoms."

Ichigo broke out of his trance to stare at his bald roommate. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we've never had phone sex, okay?"

Both Keigo and Tatsuki's jaw dropped and Ichigo sighed shaking his head. "You really are an idiot Ikkaku, I could understand if you were paying to have illicit conversations with him..."

Tatsuki and Keigo exchanged glances, "illicit?" They whispered to one another.

"...but you're merely shooting the breeze."

"Yeah, we could do that for half the price!" Keigo exclaimed and Tatsuki hit him over the head. "A third?" Tatsuki shook her head.

"Look, don't get pissy with me. Honshō gave me the phone number!"

"Chizuru..." They muttered. As Ikkaku started rambling about one thing or another Ichigo and Keigo nodded to one another. "Tatsuki, get that bespectacled floozy on the horn and bring her over." She nodded wordlessly and took out her cellphone.

Ikkaku was still rambling when Chad opened the door letting the bespectacled redhead in. "Weird, I was totally in the area when you called me Tatsuki-kun~" She latched onto the Tatsuki merrily nuzzling their cheeks together. "Oh how I missed you so."

"Oi, what sort of scheme were you trying to pull getting Ikkaku on seireitei you fucking misandrist!" Keigo yelled pointing accusingly at the redhead.

"Me? A misandrist? No, no. You see, I never said I hated men Kei-chan. I simply do not view them in an attractive manner – like in the same way Kurosaki-san can't stand the sight of a naked female."

"I told you I was scarred for life!"

Chizuru waved him off. "Whatever. Anyway, Ayasegawa-sama is a completely different manner. When I first stumbled onto seireitei I thought he was a woman, but those pictures proved otherwise. Besides, there are no women on that website due to their lack of popularity. Nevertheless, I found myself inexplicably drawn to his beauty. Man or not I was still attracted to him so I called him and was even more smitten. I practically came at the sound of his voice."

Ichigo whistled. "Stupid question to ask if has a seductive voice?"

"Seductive?" Chizuru laughed haughtily. "His voice is like liquid sex pouring all over your body."

"Well if he could get a hardcore muff diver like Zuru to masturbate at his voice he's got to be an expert." Tatsuki nudged the drooling redhead latched onto her, "he does sound like a man, right?" Still drooling, Chizuru nodded. "I rest my case."

They all turned to Ikkaku who promptly stopped his monologue. The bald teen frowned looking up at the glares he received. "W-What?"

"His face is inexplicably beautiful, he's got a super hot body, his voice can bring the strongest men to their knees and convert lesbians, and you've never had phone sex with him?" They screeched simultaneously.

"W-Well fuck! I told you I've never seen his face before today!"

"Then his voice alone should have made you want to do naughty things with him! I know it worked wonders in my fan—" Tatsuki covered Chizuru's mouth.

"I never though I'd say this but Chizuru is right, and seireitei is a fairly private website so the contents of your conversation wouldn't be disclosed to anyone." Keigo averted his gaze from the stares he was getting. "I haven't used seireitei yet but that's how most phone sex places operate... or so I've heard."

…

With her class finally over, Rukia crept around the corners of the hallways desperately trying to avoid people. As she was trying to stay awake in class she looked up more information on Renji. During break she called them incredibly surprised that they called her back a few minutes later. Unfortunately, break had ended then but they did leave a message and a contact number. However, there was no way she could call them unless the coast was completely clear. She couldn't risk being caught because senseis had this weird idea that keeping tabs on her would somehow put them on good terms with the Kuchiki clan – what the senseis didn't know was that there was no such thing as being on 'good terms' with the Kuchiki clan.

"Rukia." The eighteen-year-old stiffened hearing those all too familiar footsteps approach. Gulping, she turned around to face her brother. "Are you all done for today?"

"Yup. How about you?"

"Just some last preparations for the cultural festival tomorrow?"

"Oh..."

"Don't worry, I finished dinner before I came back." Rukia nodded. Trust her brother to cook and deal with the cultural festival without breaking a sweat. There must be something in the Y-Chromosome that make the Kuchiki men keep their composure though any situation. Their father was possibly even more unbreakable, and she didn't even want to get started on their grandfather.

The eighteen-year-old's cellphone chose that moment to ring. Eyes widening, she quickly ignored it without looking at the caller. "Are you sure that wasn't important?"

"Oh no! I'm sure it wasn't..." She cleared her throat. "A-Anyway, I'd better go eat dinner and whatnot. See ya when you get home." Not giving the nineteen-year-old a chance to get a word in edgewise Rukia all but ran down the corridor.

Confiding herself in one of the normally secluded bathrooms on the third floor of the main campus buildings Rukia locked the door then picked up her phone and swore silently. Of course seireitei would call in front of her brother.

Checking her surroundings once more, Rukia made sure the coast was clear before dialing back seireitei. Someone picked up the phone but she was immediately put on hold and some weirdly soothing elevator music was heard in the background. With this extra bit of time, the noirette sat on one of the benches. Despite the beauty of the bathroom it was rarely used because it wasn't near any place of interest.

"_Moshi moshi, is this Kuchiki Rukia-san?" _The voice on the other line asked just as the music cut off.

Rukia nodded then remembered she couldn't be seen as she was on the phone. "Y-Yes, this is she. I mean me. I'm her." She sighed taking a deep breath. "Yes. I am Kuchiki Rukia."

The voice on the other side chuckled heartily. _"This is Shunsui Kyōraku from seireitei?"_ Rukia clutched the phone as close to her ear as physically possible. _"So lets get down to business, shall we?As I am sure you are a busy young lady. Now, what sort of fantasy can we make come true for you today? Bondage? Role play? Threesome? Or perhaps our ever popular, steamy—"_

"Uh..." Rukia cleared her throat, "all of that sounds ...lovely, but this isn't for me per se."

"_Now, now Kuchiki-san there's no need to get shy. Seireitei's confidentiality agreement article B section 1-9 states that no employee can disclose a client's information to anyone ...unless the client in question is in some sort of legal trouble with the law in which we have no choice but to disclose said information and depending on the nature of the trouble we might also have to delve into the client's activities."_

"I see..."

"_So, if this isn't for you who is it for ...per se? Need to spice up your partner's love life? Trying to de-emo-fy your heartbroken friend? Giving your parent a kick start back into the dating pool?"_

"Uh no. Its for my brother..." Kyōraku hummed in understanding. "He's a great guy but he isn't the most sociable. I was wondering if you could not tell him its seireitei. I mean, does this file under the confidentiality agreement?"

"_Well I generally don't like to get involved in family issues. However, you technically are the client so it is possible to go about this arrangement without your brother's knowledge." _Rukia sighed in relief. _"So, Kuchiki-san, which one of our lucky employees will be in your brother's care?"_

"I was hoping Abarai-san could do it?"

"_Renji-kun? Ah yes, a fine choice indeed. I will get in contact with him and hopefully he'll get back to you before the day is over."_

"Okay, thanks for calling."

"_No. Thank you Kuchiki-san."_

As Kyōraku hung up, Rukia hung up too smiling to herself. If everything went as planned Byakuya would be too busy with his own budding social life to be a terroristic threat to hers. Grinning like mad, the eighteen-year-old nonchalantly exited the bathroom into the empty hall then headed home.

…

After going to work only to be informed, none too pleasantly, that due to the recent change in the schedule he was off, Renji trudged back to his apartment complex basking in the cool autumn breeze. Despite being born in the summer, the redhead thoroughly enjoyed cold weather. The cold weather brought the snow which brought epic snowball fights. Of course the cold weather did suck in some instances, like in the cases of hypothermia, which he would soon get since one of his bastard roommates lost his autumn/winter jacket.

Before work, after fighting a certain oversexed blue-haired roommate, and after fixing up some information on his seireitei page, Renji called the customer Yumichika told him about earlier in the morning. Turns out the girl on the phone was too damn shy to do anything of a sexual nature so they settled for shooting the breeze for about an hour, which was fine with the eighteen-year-old since he would get paid regardless. As soon as the redhead stepped foot inside the complex his seireitei phone started buzzing.

Groaning, the redhead picked up the phone walking toward the stairs. "Moshi moshi."

"_Moshi moshi Renji-kun, you have another customer~" Kyōraku_ sing-songed. _"And its somewhat of a special case."_

"Another customer? The last one you sent me told me about her sick pet turtle for nearly an hour do you really think I want another weirdo?"

"_Oh no. Trust me when I tell you you'll want this one."_

Renji sighed to mask his interest Usually Kyōraku didn't disappoint when he said that, but no one was perfect. "Lay it on me."

"_It would appear that your client is actually sending you to her brother."_

"As a birthday gift?"

"_No. Apparently he needs some socializing skills so you must be trying to befriend him."_

"This is a joke, right?"

"_Oh no. I'm not creative enough to make up something like this. Perhaps you should come by and we'll discuss this interesting case fully."_

Renji sighed again turning around. "Fine. I'm on my way."

When Renji got to Kyōraku's home he was mildly surprised to see Grimmjow sprawled out on the couch. The oversexed, potentially insane, unruly teen had this weird thing about making himself comfortable regardless of the location or circumstance. It was probably why he was the website's number one employee. Since he was willing to do everything the website advertised, via phone, he had tons of customers flock to hear if he was truly as amoral as he seemed; needless to say the hoard was pleasantly surprised which was why they came back for more.

Grimmjow's head snapped up and his unfocused blue eyes lazily glanced at Renji. "What are you doing here?"

"I work for Kyōraku jackass, remember?"

The blue-haired teen grunted but shifted over so Renji could sit beside him. As soon as the redhead sat down Grimmjow scooted closer to him putting an arm around the spot of the couch where Renji was seated. "You know... you'd think that since we live and work together we'd get sick of seeing one another but surprisingly that ain't the case. I just can't get enough of seeing your face." Renji grimaced as Grimmjow moved so he could stretch the redhead's face.

"Ah, you're both here and getting comfortable I see." The two teens looked up at the brunet who sat in the chair opposite of them. "I have some things I need to discuss."

"Discuss?" Grimmjow questioned with a frown.

Kyōraku nodded. "Grimmjow-kun, as I was calling Renji-kun here you had quite the unusual request."

Letting go of Renji, Grimmjow sat up fully and rose an eyebrow. "How unusual?"

Kyōraku cleared his throat. "Well for starters, the entire conversation was whispered. I was actually rather shocked that I understood everything clearly." The two teens exchanged questionable glances. "Now I know you have never physically interacted with a client but—"

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm getting my first face-to-face?"

"—Thing is he didn't seem too sure about wanting to meet you." Before Renji could say anything Grimmjow elbowed him in the stomach. "I told him that he was going to be your first physically client and I believe that made him even more nervous which got me thinking ...if you were to acquire more physical or even web chat clients your popularity will grow even more."

"How much more could it grow? I'm already the top employee here."

"Yes but that was last month." Grimmjow's eyes narrowed. "Someone might just overtake you this month. Starrk-kun seemed adamant about becoming the employee-of-the-month. There isn't a single photo where he is fully dressed." Grimmjow facepalmed and grumbled to himself. "Now onto you Renji-kun..."

The redhead sighed rubbing his sore stomach. "I know, I know... the brother thing."

"Brother thing? What brother thing? A threesome?"

"No stupid, a client asked me to meet her brother sort of secret like."

"Ah..." Was all the blue-haired teen said nodding to himself.

"As these two are special cases that will probably not occur again I'm going to need both of you to contact your clients here so that I can observe, or record, your introductory conversations and whatnot." The teens nodded taking out their cellphones. "Wait! One at a time, please!"

"Shall we play janken to see which one of us goes first?" Renji asked.

"Nah. You go ahead." Grimmjow replied leaning back against the couch. "Its bound to be more interesting." Renji glared at him before dialing the number Kyōraku gave him.

…

Rukia was laying on her bed reading a magazine. She had gotten home a half-hour ago and ate the dinner that Byakuya had graciously created for them. Half of it was eaten by the time she got home so Byakuya ate before he disappeared to work on the cultural festival. The eighteen-year-old sighed. The school did tend to overwork Byakuya, which was probably why he was so unapproachable but it wasn't his fault he was damn near perfect and the majority of the student government were idiots.

The phone rang and she checked the caller I.D., immediately recognizing the unregistered number as one from the seireitei website and picking it up. "M-Moshi moshi?"

"_Moshi moshi."_ The voice on the other side greeted huskily and Rukia felt a chill go up and down her spine. If that was Renji he sounded a lot sexier over the phone than he did on that soundbite clip on his page. Then again the soundbite was pretty incomprehensible – but Rukia didn't know whether that was the website or her shitty headphones she meant to replace weeks ago. _"Yeah, so this is Renji, but I'm sure you already knew that. Anyway, I'm not exactly sure what you want me to do ...so do you think you can explain the situation to me fully?"_

The brunet took a deep breath then got up to check her surroundings. Byakuya was still at school even though it was a little after nine at night. Damn student government. "I-I was wondering if you'd hang out with my brother, the website said you'd guarantee even the most socially inept individuals have a good time and my brother is as socially inept as they come!"

"_...Uh-huh."_

"My brother seriously needs to loosen up, all my friends are terrified of him, and he scares the entire school. I feel like I'm going insane!"

"_Are you sure hanging out will loosen him up? Because it sounds as though he needs a good lay –ouch!"_ Rukia's eyebrows furrowed at the background noise. _"What the hell was that for Kyōraku-san! You didn't say I couldn't speak my mind!"_

"_Renji-kun, I told you I need to observe your conversation!" _Rukia frowned hearing Kyōraku's voice in the background. _"You don't want to scare her off before you begin, do you?"_

An unfamiliar voice spoke up next. _"What different would it make, she'll still need to pay right? This conversation ain't free."_

A loud crash was heard then someone cleared their throat. _"Yeah. Sorry about that, anyway ...what's this brother of yours look like?"_

"Me?"

"_No shit." _The unfamiliar voice replied._ "Ouch! What the fuck was that for?"_

"_You know, Grimmjow-kun, not all siblings resemble one another."_

"_Yeah, yeah. Whatever."_

Rukia's eyes widened. Grimmjow. Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow was giving smart-ass comments on the other line? His voice was as gruff as it was mischievous, there was even a bit of baritone-ness to it. All in all it was a sexy voice – no wonder all his clients spoke over the phone with him.

"_Would you two shut the hell up?"_ Rukia bolted upright. _"I'm fucking trying to talk to my client!"_ There was some murmuring in the background before the voice, presumably Renji's, sighed, _"right. Now, how exactly do you look?"_

"Huh? Oh, right! Hold on." The noirette took her ear off her phone then shuffled through her image file. Fortunately she had one of those multitasking phones that allowed you to look for stuff and talk at the same time. Locating an image of herself and Byakuya together she forwarded it to Renji's phone.

"_Holy shit dude, you're a cradle-robber!" _Grimmjow cackled.

Unfortunately, the only picture on her phone with the two of them together was at a *hanami ...ten years ago. "N-No, that picture was taken ten years ago. I don't have any recent pictures on my phone." There was some laughter heard on the other side, presumably Grimmjow, followed by a loud thump and a groan. "Picture the boy a few centimeters taller, other than that he looks exactly the same."

"_So, if this picture was taken ten years ago, he's like twenty or something now?"_

"Nineteen."

"_Ah-ha. Basically, I'm supposed to 'hang out' with your brother and loosen him up figuratively?"_

"Sounds about right."

"_Then what? When he's loosened up I just cut him loose?"_

"Uh, I didn't think about that?"

"_Furthermore, what if this doesn't work? Huh? I mean aside from the refund stupid! ...Oh shit, I just said that into the phone didn't I?"_

"_Yup." _Grimmjow chuckled.

"Uh... why don't we just work on the initial meeting first? He'll be at the Rukongai Cultural festival tomorrow."

"_Alright. I'll scope him out there. Kyōraku-san will inform you of the fees and shit."_

…

As Kyōraku and Rukia chatted away, Renji stood up and stretched. Grimmjow looked over his roommate and chuckled. "You certainly have an impossible task ahead of ya, eh Red?"

Renji sighed, "yeah I suppose. You still haven't contacted your 'special' client."

"Right."

The brunet hung up the phone handed it to Renji then nodded at Grimmjow. "Your turn Grimmjow-kun."

Muttering under his breath, the blue-haired teen whipped out his cell and dialed the number the brunet gave him. "Might as well get this over with."

The phone kept ringing and with each ring both Renji and Kyōraku shifted closer to the blue-haired teen. After the twelfth ring someone finally picked up. _"M-Moshi moshi?"_ The speaker replied nervously.

"Yeah, moshi moshi, this is Grimmjow." There was a gasp on the other side. "You want to be my first non-electronic client, correct?"

"_Uh-huh."_

"So, where are we supposed to meet?"

"_What?"_

"Look. You want to meet me, don't you? We need to find some place to do that, and since you're the client you pick the place."

"_R-Right."_ There was a brief pause then some shuffling of paper. _"Why don't we meet at the Rukongai Cultural festival tomorrow?"_

"The what now?" Renji elbowed him then whispered something in his ear. "Ah, that? Fine. It sounds peachy dude. Real peachy." The blue-haired teen sighed. "Gimme some kind of description of ya."

"_N-No, that's alright. I'll look for you."_

"What the hell?"

"_You said I'm the client, right? I think its better if I look for you. I already know what you look like because of your profile."_

"That's kind of unfair, don't you think?"

"_You never said it had to be fair."_

Grimmjow smirked. "Okay, I'm intrigued but you'd better not be some fugly porker or I'm raising hell." Renji facepalmed.

"_You don't have to worry about that."_

"You'd better be as sexy as you sound man. I'll let you go for now, I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"_As am I."_

"I'll let Kyōraku-san inform you of the fees and whatnot."

"W-Wait a minute—" The brunet sighed as the phone was handed to him, "moshi moshi. Ah yes..."

Renji rose an eyebrow, "you seemed to be enjoying yourself."

"You know I'm one for the runaround." Grimmjow frowned. "I was hoping to skip but I guess we have no choice about going to the cultural festival huh?"

Renji sighed. "No choice whatsoever."

…

It was the day of the cultural festival and Yumichika stared at the cellphone in his hands in awe. Since the cultural festival was today all classes were canceled, but the school was still open because that's where the cultural festival was. He was supposed to go the cultural festival with Renji, Starrk, Shūhei, Hanatarō, and Grimmjow but he got an unusual text from his newest client finally asking them to meet face-to-face.

Yumichika didn't have a problem meeting clients; unlike most employees, mainly Grimmjow, he had an even amount of clients in all three forms of communication – something that should have been polled as well in his opinion. Oddly enough, he never had a strictly phone client ask to meet him, though some of his normal face-to-face enjoyed their sessions over the phone or web cam just as much. Then again, this was his first strictly phone client.

Yet he was nowhere near as popular as Grimmjow. Still, currently being the second most popular employee wasn't too bad when the first was making four times the amount of money you were.

Nevertheless, Yumichika trudged to the location he was supposed to meet his client. The black-haired teen plopped down in one of the couches of the campus lounge, since everyone was busy making last preparations for the cultural festival the normally packed hangout was empty. Not only was this whole arrangement out of the blue, it was completely short notice and to make matters worse he had absolutely no idea what his client looked like! Sure, Yumichika's face was posted all over the website so there was no doubt he'd get spotted first but that was beside the point. It was hard to look for someone when you didn't know what the someone in question looked like.

Frowning, Yumichika checked his page through his company phone. Unlike Hanatarō, Shūhei, and a few other Rukongai students who worked for seireitei, Yumichika's school name and schedule wasn't posted on his page so the only way for a client to know he was a student here was if they saw him in class or roaming the halls.

"Yumichika?" Raising an eyebrow, the teen in question glanced up at the bald, nervous teen standing in front of him. With both eyebrows raised Yumichika leaned forward, blatant confusion evident on his adorable face. After a few seconds of silence, the standing teen cleared his throat. "I'm—"

"Ikkaku-san!" Yumichika exclaimed standing abruptly. Before he could react the taller teen found himself being embraced. Despite his best efforts Ikkaku found himself blushing. It was fortunate today was the cultural festival and the lounge was empty or he'd never live this down.

When Yumichika released him Ikkaku nearly groaned in disappointment. Ikkaku's eyes narrowed as Yumichika kept staring at his head. "W-What?"

"Can I touch it? I-I mean, is it alright?" Ikkaku sighed nodding then Yumichika tentatively reached forward and stroked the bald head. Normally, Ikkaku would have cut the fingers off of anyone who dared to touch his head but there was no way he could ever say not to someone as adorable as the teen in front of him. "Its soft." Yumichika replied with a content sigh making Ikkaku suppressed the urge to lean into soothing caress. His head was always a weak spot and his biggest erogenous zone which was another reason he didn't let anyone touch it. Keigo found that out accidentally and still nursed the bruises from it.

Just as Ikkaku felt his eyelids droop from the massage Yumichika stopped and grinned at him. "W-What?"

Still grinning, Yumichika leaned forward pinching Ikkaku's cheeks. "You are adorable~!"

The taller teen muttered a thank you while his face was being stretched. Once Yumichika had his fill and released the face he held prisoner in favor of sitting down and pulling Ikkaku down to sit in the chair beside him. The effeminate teen was definitely a lot stronger than he looked.

"Truth be told I was a bit nervous about meeting you. I mean, I know I seem like a nice guy and whatever but years of my friends jerkiness rubbed off on me so I'm kind of a dick. Plus, I had no idea of how you looked so that was a whole other story. But enough about me, how did you know I attended this school?"

Ikkaku blinked attempted to absorb whatever the hell spewed out of the black-haired teen's delectable looking mouth. Yumichika talked so damn fast that it was downright scary. While most of the one-sided conversation was lost, Ikkaku managed to catch the last thing said to him and after a few seconds he regained his composure and answered the question. "My friend, Chad, said he had a few classes with you."

"Hm. Chad. Chad...? Oh! You mean Yasutora-kun, right?" Ikkaku nodded dumbly. He got so used to calling the big guy Chad that he usually forgot his real name, or rather that 'Chad' wasn't his real name. That idiot Ichigo called him that because he mispronounced his name when they met in elementary school, after that it sort of stuck. And Chad clearly didn't have a problem with it as he never once corrected anyone. "That's really interesting."

"It is?"

"Uh-huh, and I was trying to convince him to join seireitei, he said he'd get back to me though." Ikkaku gaped as Yumichika frowned tapping his chin in thought. Sure Chad was hot and he had an incredibly sexy baritone voice, but he wasn't entirely certain the silent giant he had the capability of dirty talking and the like. Then again, he knew of seireitei and even visited the website on occasion. "Are you and Yasutora-kun close?"

"Huh? Well, he's my roommate's best friend so I guess so." Ikkaku added with a shrug.

Yumichika took out his cellphone. "Do you think you can give me his number? I keep forgetting to ask him for it." Ikkaku skeptically glanced down at the black cell in the pretty teen's left hand. "Oh, don't worry. Its not my seireitei phone. See?" Ikkaku leaned forward looking at the contact list that only displayed nine names along with their numbers: Red, Idiot, Hana, Star, Dojo, Ren Job, Boss, Shū, and Doc.

"Ah..."

"And this is my seireitei phone." Yumichika held out his purple cellphone in his right hand, scrolling down the infinite list of contacts.

Ikkaku's eyes widened. He already knew he wasn't the only one talking to Yumichika via seireitei, he frequently got interrupted by other, more aggressive, clients. Still, seeing all these numbers first hand was kind of intimidating.

"Oi, you alright?" Ikkaku nodded. "Good. We should totally hang out sometime. I wanna introduce you to my friends. Oh, but you're still a client so – at the risk of sounding like a call girl ...or guy – you'd have to pay to hang out with me unless I invite you out. Then there's the whole ¥28,615 cancellation fee."

"Y-You know, its not that much trouble paying. I already paid for three months worth of service and I still have two months left so I might as well get my money's worth, right?"

"I suppose." Yumichika stretched then slumped back in his seat. "That makes me feel a bit bitter."

"Anyway, I gotta go. I'm supposed to meet my friends at the cultural festival."

"So am I! Maybe I'll see you there?"

Ikkaku nodded getting up. "Sure. I'd like that."

…

"I just love cultural festivals~" Keigo cheered clasping a hand over Ichigo's incredibly stiff shoulders. "Oi, why are you so tense dude?"

Scowling, Ichigo shrugged off the offending appendage. "I'm. Not. Tense."

"You are." Chad deadpanned. Ichigo scowled at his best friend but otherwise didn't comment.

"To hell with this stupid thing. We were never interested in any cultural festivals in high school." Tatsuki sighed, "I just hope Ikkaku wasn't just fucking with us when he said Ayasegawa-kun would be here."

Keigo rose an eyebrow. "And why would you care if he's here or not?"

"Well, if you must know, I called him last night in my dorm and nearly came from his greeting alone." Tatsuki fanned herself off. "And don't even get me started on the phone sex."

"Wait, you had phone sex with Ayasegawa-kun?" Tatsuki nodded. "Well, you're one step ahead of Ikkaku."

Chizuru wrapped her arms around Tatsuki's waist nuzzling the side of her face into the shorter girl's back. "I'm getting hot just thinking about it. Last night was amazing."

"You were there?"

"Duh! We share a dorm."

"Oh... I had no idea. But I suppose that explains why Tatsuki said you were her only girl, and why you two are always doing perverted shit together." Blushing profusely, both girls kicked Keigo in the shin earning an indignant squawk from the shortest teen. "Dammit! Its not my fault you two did the horizontal monster mash!"

"Shut up Kei-chan! We're best friends so its only natural we'd do these kind of things together!"

"No. It isn't. Ikkaku's my best friend and I wouldn't go anywhere near him sexually!"

"Ikkaku's a prude." Tatsuki interrupted.

"Besides, even if it were natural it wouldn't be an everyday or every other day occurrence like with you two." Both girls glared at him. "Why don't you two just admit that you're hot for one another?"

"Oi! Chizuru-chan!" The aforementioned redhead turned toward the direction of the voice. Rangiku, in all her busty glory, approached the group grinning. "How is my favorite little kōhai."

Tatsuki tilted her head to the left. "Alright. What do you want?"

"Patience my dear." The strawberry-blond clasped her hands together, "you guys will never guess who I saw scooping goldfish at the booth!" Everyone stared at the buxom blond expectantly. "What? Did you expect me just to tell you? I said you'll never guess as in you have to guess!"

Tatsuki scowled. "No. Generally when one says 'you'll never guess' they mean that you'll never guess, which means they say whatever the hell they were supposed to say!"

"Alright, alright! You're so un-cute!" Rangiku sighed waving off the noirette. "I saw seireitei's own—" Before the nineteen-year-old could finish her sentence the group disappeared. "How rude!" She huffed, stomping toward the goldfish booth.

"I wasn't finish talking!" She screeched.

"Quiet!" Tatsuki and Keigo hissed. The massive crowd surrounding the goldfish booth cheered on both Grimmjow and Yumichika as the two teens fiercely competed against one another to scoop the tiny fishes into their poi – each of their bowls were filled to the brink with goldfish and medaka while very few fish remained in the pool.

Chizuru sighed contently. "He's even more beautiful in person." Tatsuki and Keigo agreed before the latter elbowed her.

"Don't try and change the subject."

Scoffing, the redhead adjusted her glasses. "I have no problem admitting my attraction to Tatsuki."

Keigo glanced at the other girl who sighed. "Neither do I. But I wouldn't go around saying I'm hot for her or anything!"

"Yeah, what—"

"Kyaa~!" Some random girls squealed as Yumichika got the final medaka in his poi gracefully depositing it into his full bowl. The fish inside barely had enough room to swim around. As the teens placed their pois down the proprietor of the booth quickly wrapped up the fish in several separate bags.

"And I believe that is my game Jaegerjaquez-san." The black-haired teen replied extending his hand with a dazzling smirk that caused half of the crowd to promptly pass out.

Grimmjow shook the offered hand with a smirk rivaling Yumichika sending the rest of the crowd out like a light ...safe for Chad who held all of his unconscious friends in his arms.

"Oh, its Yasutora-kun!" Yumichika chirped hopping over to the brunet. "Where's Ikkaku-san?"

Chad looked down at the group in his arms then back up at Yumichika. "I'm not sure."

"Hmm..." Yumichika jumped slightly as Grimmjow casually walked over to the duo inspecting them. "This isn't your guy, is it?"

"No. Did you not hear me say its Yasutora-kun?"

"Uh, no. And its not like I know the name of the guy you're talking too."

Yumichika sighed. "Anyway, baka, this is my classmate Sado Yasutora-kun but everyone calls him Chad for some reason or another. Yasutora-kun this is my idiot roommate and close friend Grimmjow ...from seireitei."

The two teens shook hands in a stare down until Grimmjow smirked. "A regular alpha hm? I like this guy, we should go drinking sometime." He elbowed the taller teen. "You and Yu-chan, aren't fucking or anything are you?" Chad shook his head. "Yeah I don't blame you, he's borderline obsessed with his mysterious newest client."

"Oi, what's with you whispering so much all of a sudden!"

"Calm down, calm down. There's no need to get excited. Hm?" Grimmjow looked down noticing the four unconscious teens in Chad's arms. "What happened to them?"

The brunet looked down before looking back at Grimmjow shrugged. "Nothing."

"I see..." Grimmjow glanced at Yumichika who frowned slightly. "Well I—" Yumichika yelped then Grimmjow and Chad both stared skeptically at him. "S-Something just touched my butt!"

"That's as firm as ever~"

Yumichika sighed. "I should have known your perverted ass would grope mine."

"Ah, don't be that way..." A vein throbbed on Yumichika's forehead as Starrk nuzzled their faces together. "Besides, you're going through extreme lengths keeping Hanatarō-chin from me so I'll have to settle for you."

"What do you mean have to settle?"

Grimmjow cleared his throat. "If you two are done, I'd like to look for my mystery client. Wanna scope him out with me Yumi?" He looked Starrk up and down. "I suppose you could tag along too."

"Sure, but I thought you were going to let him find you?"

Grimmjow shrugged, "where's the fun in that?" Grimmjow grabbed his multiple goldfish filled bags. "He won't expect me to be looking for him and that's exactly why I'm going to do it." Yumichika shook his head then picked up his bags as well.

"Hold on a second Jaegerjaquez-san." Grimmjow froze then rose an eyebrow at Chad. "You're supposed to be meeting a client at here?"

"That's right..." Blue eyes lit up, "you know who it is?"

Starrk covered Grimmjow's mouth. "First of all, I'm Starrk, secondly you don't have to tell us big guy." He looked down at Grimmjow glaring at him. "More fun that way, right?"

Before Grimmjow could bite that hand that held him captive Starrk released his grip. "Fine! Don't tell us about him, but tell me just one thing... he is attractive right?" Chad nodded. "Good. How—" Yumichika stomped on the blue-haired teen's foot. "Ouch! Shit Yumi!"

"Aya—Yumichika-kun!" The aforementioned teen turned in the direction of the voice. "Oh! Hana—"

Starrk broke out in a predatory smirk nonchalantly approaching Hanatarō and an unfamiliar gray-haired teen. "Ah, Hanatarō-chin, I must say you look really sexy in that kimono."

"T-Thank you." Hanatarō blushed looking down at his state of dress. As it was the cultural festival everyone was clad in a yukata... unless they were apart of some club related theme. Due to his small stature, it was virtually impossible to find a men's yukata so he had to settle for a woman's one. Fortunately, Kensei – who was perhaps the sweetest individual in existence – got a woman's yukata too just so Hanatarō wouldn't feel like he was the only guy wearing women's clothes. Other than Kensei, the eighteen-year-old didn't think anyone else would compliment him on his outfit.

Starrk tried to make a grab for Hanatarō's hand but was stopped by a fingerless gloved hand. "Hold up there pal." Brown eyes locked onto blue-gray. "This is the jerk that started hitting on you yesterday Tarō?"

"U-Uh—" The eighteen-year-old nervously glanced between Kensei and Starrk. "He—"

"And just who the fuck are you?"

"Muguruma Kensei. Tarō's roommate."

The air around the two teens seemed to chill drastically, even though today was considerably warmer than yesterday or any other late autumn day. Hanatarō stood between the two teens attempted to break up any fight that could instantaneously start, though there was no way he could even try with his size and Kensei's impressive boxing background. Gulping, he stepped closer to Kensei. "Y-You shouldn't start a fight Ken-kun."

Brown eyes stared at blue before Kensei sighed. "Fine." Hanatarō grabbed his roommate's hand. "We'll meet up later Yumichika-kun." He said before walking off with Kensei.

"Well shit." Grimmjow said suddenly. "He's got a hot roommate with a temper shorter than mine."

"Yeah, but he seems to indulge Hanatarō-kun." Grimmjow looked up at Chad.

"Ah. You mean he gives into him, like what we do for Yumi?" The teen in question squawked then blushed so much his ears turned red.

Hearing a groan Yumichika, Starrk, Chad, and Grimmjow all looked down in time to see Ichigo's eyes slowly open. Brown eyes immediately locked onto blue and Ichigo somehow managed to slip out of Chad's grip falling onto the floor. "Oww..."

Grimmjow's eyes widened while Starrk and Yumichika helped the redhead up. "Dude, are you okay?" Yumichika asked inspecting the teen for damages.

"Yeah..." He dusted himself off. "I've fallen from higher places."

"Ichigo, I have to talk to you." The redhead slowly nodded at his best friend.

"Oh wait, before you go. I'm Yumichika and these are my idiot friends Starrk and Grimmjow."

Ichigo nodded at them before walking off with Chad who deposited Chizuru, Tatsuki, and Keigo's unconscious bodies onto a nearby bench. Once they were a safe distance away Chad turned toward his best friend. "Why didn't you tell me you called Jaegerjaquez-san?"

Ichigo blushed. "It was a spur of the moment thing, I mean, I even flirted back with him!" The redhead resisted the urge to bash his head into the nearest hard surface. "Damn I'm such a loser!"

Chad put an arm around Ichigo to comfort him. "You're not a loser, I wouldn't be friends with you if you were." Ichigo glowered at the tall teen. "You just seem insecure because you didn't have to work hard to bag Ishida-kun. You're a fast learner Ichigo, and possess unmistakable animal magnetism."

"Uh, thanks... I guess."

…

Meanwhile... Yumichika, Starrk, and Grimmjow leaned against the bench prodding the still unconscious teens. "They sure have been gone a while." Yumichika sighed checking his watch.

"Are you expecting something Yumi?" Yumichika glared at him. "Its okay if you want to leave and meet up your guy."

"What? H-How did you know?"

"Its written all over your face." Grimmjow turned to Starrk, "you should go too stringbean. Keep Yumichika in line."

"What the hell is with you?"

Grimmjow smirked. "Nothing at all, I just changed my mind is all." Starrk and Yumichika stared wide-eyed at him. "I'm more interested in having my client approach me. First impressions are important after all."

"You're even sicker than I could have ever imagined." Yumichika shook his head. "I actually feel sorry for this guy."

"Not as sorry as I feel for your client."

Yumichika flipped him off then stomped away dragging Starrk. Soon after Chad and Ichigo returned. "Where did Ayasegawa-kun go?"

"He had a previous engagement." Grimmjow stood up and stretched while checking out Ichigo who involuntarily blushed. "But more importantly, don't you think we should get going Ic-hi-go?"

Chad glanced over at his still unconscious friends before staring back at Grimmjow all with a neutral expression. "How did you know?"

"I never forget a voice, especially one as lust-laden as yours." Grimmjow licked his lips. "You were right though."

"About what?"

"I'm certainly not disappointed with this."

* * *

_*Hanami:_ flower viewing


	3. 3: The Rukongai Cultural Festival Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction and blah, blah, blah.

_A/N: "other side of the telephone"_  
_197cm = 6ft, 5.6 in; 215cm = 7ft, 0.5 in  
'thoughts~'_

A/N #2: For those individuals not quite caught up with Bleach, not that I particularly blame anyone, **none** of the characters are OCs. Bleach just has that many characters that I can pull out of the woodwork. Possible character spoiler(s) but nothing pertaining to the actual storyline. I do write AU after all.

* * *

"_Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not."  
-Vaclav Havel_

* * *

Keigo's brown eyes slowly opened and locked onto green. Blinking, the shorter teen bolted upright and tilted his head to the left. "I am looking for Jaegerjaquez." The green-eyed, black-haired teen said in an eerily calm tone. "Have you seen him?"

"Uh..." Keigo scratched his head then glanced around the empty bench in blatant confusion before looking up at the taller teen that was still staring at him. "I'm not even sure where I am now, but the last place I saw him he was scooping up goldfish at the booth with Ayasegawa-kun." Green eyes looked over at the direction of the empty goldfish booth before staring back at a wide-eyed Keigo.

"I see." He looked Keigo up and down. "If you should see him, tell him Cifer is looking for him." Keigo nodded slowly. "And your name would be?"

"K-Keigo?"

The taller teen nodded. "Very well Keigo, I shall see you again." The shorter teen blinked in confusion as the green-eyed walked off.

"Where the hell did everyone go?" The teen stood and spotted the adorable Yamada Hanatarō from seireitei walking beside an incredibly attractive gray-haired teen who Keigo didn't recognize from neither seireitei nor the campus. According to Hanatarō's bio, he and Keigo shared the same birthday which happened to be on April Fool's Day. The best part was Hanatarō was shorter than Keigo, making him not seem like such a shrimp in comparison to his friends and classmates.

"Oi, Yamada-san!" Eyes-widening Hanatarō froze allowing Keigo to catch up to him. "You're Yamada-san, from seireitei right?" The attractive taller teen stood in front of Hanatarō.

"Who wants to know?"

Keigo shrunk back. This guy was as attractive as he was scary! Sadly enough, the brunet met lots of people with that persona. "K-Keigo does?"

"I-Its alright Ken-kun." Sighing, the gray-haired teen took a step back. "Yes, I'm Yamada. Its nice meeting you."

"Likewise; I was checking out your bio the other day." Hanatarō blushed as he shook Keigo's hand. "We aries got to stick together, ya know?" Hanatarō nodded slowly. "Its cool that we have the same birthday. I don't really know that many aries except for my roommate, oh, and one of my closest friend's girlfriend... of course I'm not entirely sure if they're going out or not but they're roommates and always palling around one another—" Keigo scratched his head, "but I'm rambling. You work for seireitei so you should know Jaegerjaquez-san, right?"

"Uh... I don't exactly know him but I know someone who knows him."

"Ah. Well, do you think you can tell your contact that Cifer is looking for Jaegerjaquez-san?"

Hanatarō nodded. "I'll see what I can do. Wait... Cifer?" The shorter teen blinked. "As in Cifer Ulquiorra?"

"I don't know, he didn't give me his first name."

"Hmm... I— well as I said I'll see what I can do."

"Do you know Cifer or something?"

"Not particularly, he's incredibly popular with the second years – he's sort of on the same level of stardom as Kuchiki-senpai."

"Oh..." Keigo tilted his head to the right, "who is Kuchiki-senpai?"

Hanatarō glanced at both Keigo and Kensei who gave him similar, blatantly confused expressions. "He's the student government president in charge of the whole cultural festival... the thing we're at now?"

"Ah! That's interesting. So, do you wanna hang out or something? Its tough hanging around so many giants, its good not to have to strain my neck looking up at everyone towering over me."

"I know how you feel."

"But that guy is pretty big."

"'That guy' has a name."

Keigo gulped. "Y-You didn't tell me it."

"I'm Kensei." He replied sighing. "And believe me, I've seen guys a lot bigger than I am."

"Yeah, my roommate is about 197cm!"

Kensei whistled."Damn..."

Keigo's stomach started grumbling and he blushed. "S-Sorry about that. I was supposed to get something to eat but my friends kinda ditched me on a bench."

"We can help you look for them—" Hanatarō elbowed his roommate who gave him a questionable glance, as the older albeit shorter teen smiled back the gray-haired teen frowned slightly stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, yeah, first we'll get some eats."

…

Panting, Ikkaku leaned against the wall attempting to catch his breath and simultaneously calm his rapid heartbeat. After he met up with Yumichika a few hours ago he pretty much ran to his dorm then proceeded to jump into the shower under frigid water trying to cool his overheated libido. When that didn't work, due to his fantasies running wild, he spent a little more than the next hour jerking off until his wrists were sore. Ikkaku was certain he couldn't cum now if he tried, which was a good thing since he spotted Yumichika chatting with a bunch of groupies.

His libido hadn't reacted this strongly since he first discovered the joys of masturbation at age twelve; the bald teen remembered how hypersensitive his body was and how even the slightest touch could make him half erect. This was probably worse seeing as how only one person sent him in a euphoric state of lust induced delirium.

Ikkaku shook out of his stupor as his phone buzzed in his pants pocket. Silently thankful he put the damn thing in his back pocket rather than the front he scanned the screen before flipping it open leaning against the wall so that he wasn't visible from where Yumichika was seated. "What?"

"_How fucking rude! That's no way to talk to a friend!"_

"I've never considered you to be a friend Honshō."

"_Then I suppose I'd say the feeling is mutual."_

"What did you want?"

"_Huh? Oh. So I woke up on a bench in the middle of all the festivities with Tatsuki-kun and Kei-chan. Nature was calling me so I scurried off to the bathroom, when I returned they were both gone!"_

"Damn, how long did you take?"

"_I didn't take long stupid! Though that long was something..."_ The redhead cleared her throat. _"I remembered searching through Tatsuki's phone before I passed out by looking at Ayasegawa-kun smile so I still have it and Kei-chan's phone isn't on."_

"Okay. You have this weird way of finding Tatsuki so that shouldn't be a problem—"

"_I'm not concerned about her; any larger male – which is about ninety percent of the population – would eagerly swoop down and snatch up Keigo! You know how small and cute he is; I can perfectly picture a burly guy forcefully bending him over and—"_

"You really need to stop reading those dōjinshis!" Ikkaku shook his head trying to dispel the image Chizuru set in his mind. It would be several different levels of weird to imaging your best friend taking it up the ass – not that he would openly tell Keigo they were best friends, but Ikkaku did tell the loudmouth about things he normally didn't tell others about; like seireitei. Though, as luck would have it, they didn't end up as roommates... they weren't even on the same floor!

"_You're just mad because I'm right! Ooh! There's Tatsuki. Wow you were right. Call Kurosaki or Sado-kun and see if one of them has seen him." _

Before Ikkaku had the chance to reply the redhead hung up the phone. "That bitch..."

"Who was on the phone?"

"Gah!" The slightly taller teen nearly jumped in the air and crouched down trying to calm himself. Yumichika was innocently leaning over him. Ikkaku did a double take, glancing in the direction where the teen was only to find him not there, so the being standing beside him wasn't some sort of hologram or cheap illusion. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"I can see that." Yumichika chuckled. "You're so damn jumpy." Ikkaku's right eye twitched. "Anyways, I saw you hiding in the corner so I decided to say hi."

Once his heart rate returned to normal Ikkaku stood then looked Yumichika up and down. "Why are you wearing a skirt?"

"Hm?" He twirled around making the skirt ruffle with the movement. "Some of the senpais said I'd look cute in it; and—" He turned Ikkaku's head in the direction of the kissing booth. "—they convinced me to go there."

"In drag?"

"What? No. I'm supposed to be a boy." Ikkaku's eyebrows furrowed. "What's with that look? I'm wearing shorts underneath. See?"

Blood shot out of Ikkaku's nose as Yumichika lifted up the front of his skirt revealing his navy boxers. "I-Ikkaku, are you alright?" The black-haired teen grabbed a napkin from a student passing by then dabbed it under Ikkaku's nose. "I ...probably shouldn't have done that."

"Ya think?"

Yumichika scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Let me make it up to you, I'll give you a free kiss!" Ikkaku found himself being dragged to the kissing booth and was deposited onto a stool in front of Yumichika who pounced on him without warning.

…

Ichigo was pissed. No, scratch that. He was far beyond the point of aggravation that there wasn't even a term to describe it. Not only did Chad abandon him with Grimmjow, but every single hormone inducing individual in the vicinity had somehow latched themselves onto the blue-haired teen gushing at the mere prospect of meeting him in person. According to the seireitei poll, Grimmjow was equally popular with men as he was with women so it was no surprise both genders came to him in droves.

As it was completely pointless to try and swim through the sea of sex crazed bodies, Ichigo opted for heading to a more secluded part of the festival. The redhead soon found a bar and unceremoniously dropped onto a seat. The proprietor, a white-haired man with an odd smile resembling one of those folklore foxes, slid the teen a drink – that Ichigo was certain didn't contain less than ninety percent alcohol – without so much as a word before disappearing.

Ichigo sloshed around his sixth, perhaps seventh ...possibly ninth drink. He lost count after three and the bartender kept filling up the glasses as soon as Ichigo put them down only to vanish once they were filled. The redhead sighed. It was like dating Uryū all over again. That damn four-eyes was so good at everything groupies thrust themselves onto him by the buckets. Naturally, the bespectacled teen didn't see a problem with that and often flirted back with some of the more attractive prospects hoping to get his boyfriend jealous. However, this insidious plot backfired as Ichigo wasn't the jealous type. To add insult to injury Uryū had the nerve to dump his seven year long boyfriend because he wasn't trying to compete for his affection. Tatsuki was right, although he hated to admit, Uryū was unpleasant and condescending.

Sure, he was extremely hotheaded and easily annoyed but he wasn't the kind of guy to get upset over a bunch of idiots shamelessly throwing themselves at his supposed boyfriend ...however, getting abandoned by not only your best friend but the guy that you actually paid to hang out with was something to get upset about. Shit, he was almost as pathetic as Ikkaku.

Ichigo sighed again downing the rest of his drink. Perhaps it was better being alone, but he was with Uryū for so long he had no idea what it meant to be single.

Brown eyes narrowed as his sunlight was suddenly taken away. Ichigo ever so slowly turned to his left seeing a panting Grimmjow standing in front of him. "Why the hell did you leave? I was looking all over for you!"

"Hm?"

Grimmjow sighed then plopped down on the stool next to Ichigo. "Did you forget we were supposed to be together? I'm not gonna get paid if you disappear on me!"

It took about a minute to process Grimmjow's presence then a few more seconds to understand what he was saying. "Don't worry about that, I'll tell Kyōraku-san I had a good time and whatever." He downed another drink that was graciously poured into his glass.

Grimmjow snatched the newly refilled glass before it made contact with Ichigo's lips and drank it himself. "Fuck, that's strong!" The blue-haired teen glanced at his disheveled companion. Grimmjow rarely found an interest in other people, excluding Yumichika and the rest of them – and even they (with the extreme exception of Renji) could be boring sometimes, but ever since the conversation yesterday he was somewhat looking forward to meeting this mystery guy and looks aside he was pleasantly surprised this interest kept increasing.

Grimmjow licked his lips. Yesterday's conversation must have been an adrenaline rush or something because this couldn't be the same guy. The guy over the phone had a voice heavily ridden with lust and some added playfulness; now, the redhead seated before Grimmjow was so timid, and clearly wasted, yet there was something alluring about him. Not to mention he was really adorable, even with the perpetual frown etched on his face. Now, Grimmjow had spent almost thirteen whole years around Yumichika so he knew what he was talking about when he used the term adorable – and even that was loosely. But this guy was on a completely different level of cuteness.

"Oi." Grimmjow nudged Ichigo who slowly sat up. "Come on, let's go." Blue eyes turned toward the proprietor. "I'll cover the tab. How much did he drink?"

The white-haired man waved Grimmjow off. "Don't worry about it." With the fox-like smile still plastered on his face the man poured himself a glass and drank it.

Grimmjow looked the man once over before hauling Ichigo up and dragging him away from the bar. "Come on sexy, I can't show you a good time if you're too shitfaced to remember it."

"I'm not drunk..." The redhead slurred.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah." The redhead paused glaring at his companion. "Has the sea of raging hormones ebbed?"

"What?"

"Your fanbase... they disappeared?"

Grimmjow smirked. "Jealous?"

"H-Hell no."

"Pity. But none of those horny dimwits combined are as adorable as you are."

"Me? Adorable..." Ichigo chuckled, swaying lightly forcing Grimmjow to keep a tighter grip on his waist. The redhead was thankful he still possessed the ability to form complete sentences even if he couldn't walk straight. "That's funny."

"Grimmjow, what the fuck are you doing?" Blue eyes turned toward the voice belonging to none other than Renji. The redhead had a scowl on his face as he walked closer. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do shit. He's the one that got himself drunk, and where the hell were you? Yumi and I were so damn bored looking for you we were playing at the goldfish booth."

"Yeah, this stupid thing is a lot bigger than I thought. But I come baring good news!" Grimmjow rose an eyebrow and before he could say anything Renji took out his non seireitei cellphone. "Check it, I got a picture of my client."

Grimmjow leaned forward, as much as he could with a drunkard on his arm slowly weighing him down. The picture on Renji's cellphone was similar to the one Rukia had sent them even though it was ten years ago. The broad was right, his face didn't really change although it did have more of a mature aura to it but fuck he was hot.

Grimmjow whistled. "Lucky you." The blue-haired teen shrugged hoisting Ichigo upward some. "Meet mine."

Renji stared at the half-conscious teen Grimmjow had a firm grip on. One of the blue-haired teen's arms was wrapped, almost possessively, around the smaller teen's waist and the other hand was draped over the shoulder.

"No, man, lucky you. How long do you have this one?"

"Sadly, only one day."

"Sadly?"

"I don't know... normally I wouldn't give a shit and whatever, but something about him seems interesting." Grimmjow hoisted him up again, "but I'll tell you one thing, he's not fucking light!"

Renji chuckled ignoring the glare his roommate gave him. "I'll give you a hand." Still chuckling, Renji hoisted one of Ichigo's arms over his shoulder. "You know, you're holding him wrong that's probably why you keep slouching forward. You should hold him the way I am."

Grumbling under his breath, Grimmjow put Ichigo's free arm over his shoulder but still kept the arm wrapped around his waist.

"What now? Do we take him home?"

Grimmjow sighed, "I'm not going to get paid, am I?"

"Probably not."

"Fuck."

"Maybe we can try and sober him up, whenever Starrk's drunk off his ass we always do something to help him."

"Yeah, but you can't treat a hangover the same way you treat someone who's still physically drunk."

"Who the hell made you the expert?"

"Uh, probably because I'm the one who has to deal with the stupid fuck more times than anyone else?"

"Look man, I can't help it that you share a room with him. The apartment only has three bedrooms and you lost the straws. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I bet you are."

…

"There you are aniki." Byakuya turned around to see his sister sporting a floral yukata. "Are you having a good time?"

"More or less." Rukia nodded subconsciously searching for a mop of unruly red hair. Renji said he would be at the cultural festival but the stupid thing was so big it was hard to find anyone anywhere. She spent the last two hours looking for her own brother!

"Well—"

"Kuchiki-senpai." Hinamori ran over to the siblings and froze not missing the opportunity to stare at the student government president dressed in a black and white kimono. She cleared her throat and pulled the clipboard, that seemed permanently attached to her, closer to her body. "T-The student government unanimously chose you for the kissing booth."

Rukia cringed causing Hinamori's eyes to widen considerably. "B-But if you're busy I can—"

"I'll do it."

"What?" Rukia gasped staring at her brother, her shocked facial expression rivaling the noirette in front of her brother.

"Its just a kissing booth Rukia." The nineteen-year-old shrugged walking toward the booth.

"B-But you can get mono or some other sort of kissing disease! Aniki, wait!" Grunting, the eighteen-year-old followed her brother and a still stunned Hinamori to the kissing booth. It wasn't as though she had a problem with her brother kissing – okay, she had a slight problem with that thought – but her bigger problem was who he was kissing. She didn't want just anyone locking lips with her brother and judging by that giant line they were all waiting to swap salivary fluids with Byakuya.

Rukia's eyes narrowed as she spotted a bald teen shakily exiting the kissing booth and it looked like Ayasegawa Yumichika from seireitei was right behind him shouting something... wearing a skirt? The eighteen-year-old shook her head. No man's legs should look that good in a skirt but the effeminate managed to pull it off rather nicely. Shaking her head again Rukia spotted her brother disappear behind a tent behind the kissing booth.

As she wasn't a member of the student government she couldn't enter, but she was Byakuya's sister so that was good enough to bypass security. Though it wasn't really needed as she managed to sneak past the two 'guards' making out to enter the tent.

"Aniki?"

"Oh, its you." Rukia looked up into the amber eyes of the student government vice president and a fraction of the near nonexistent one-tenth percent of the world not afraid of her older brother. Well, Rukia wasn't entirely sure he wasn't afraid but he didn't visibly show his fear toward Byakuya.

"Szayel~" Said pink-haired teen facepalmed as an extremely lanky black-haired teen crouched into the tent. His incredibly large and slender form draped over the shorter teen. "Oh, its the other Kuchiki." He looked Rukia up and down licking his lips then turned to the pink-haired teen. "Is Cifer-sama here? I spotted that bastard Jaegerjaquez he's been looking for."

"Oh?"

"Yup. He's with some hot redhead. Two actually."

Rukia's eyes widened. She remembered seeing pictures of Renji and Grimmjow together, and even heard Grimmjow over the phone during their conversation, so it was only natural they'd hang out too. But who could the second redhead be? Was there some other hot redhead on seireitei? Renji was the only one Rukia saw in the entire website.

"Nnoitra, my darling not-so-little idiot." He grabbed the lanky teen's face pulling him down to eye level. "You know how crazy Ulquiorra-kun gets when someone mentions that jackass' name."

"Duly noted, but I heard Cifer went around asking for him." Nnoitra leered leaning impossibly closer to Szayel. "Probably wants to reclaim whats his."

Szayel rose an eyebrow adjusting his glasses stepping backward to create much needed space between the two. "Meaning?"

"Well, how should I put this..." Nnoitra tapped his chin. "With all the popularity Jaegerjaquez has with this sexed up website, he's getting too big for his boots." He glanced at Szayel who still had his eyebrow raised. "He took something from Jaegerjaquez that ...can't be replaced." The tall teen waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "If you catch my drift."

"Um." The two males turned to Rukia. "I'd hate to interrupt but is my brother still here?"

Szayel shrugged and Nnoitra fully entered the tent. "Damn these things are too small."

"We all can't be 215cm." The pink-haired teen jerked his thumb toward the back. "Maybe he's back there. I honestly didn't see him when I entered."

Nnoitra leaned back over Szayel staring into another tent. "Well shit, he's talking to Cifer-sama in the tent behind this one."

"Thanks." Rukia quickly scrambled through this tent to get to the next. Sure enough her brother was talking to the second most popular student in all of Rukongai. Rukia was certain Cifer Ulquiorra wasn't afraid of her brother either, but Ulquiorra's facial expression didn't ever seem to change and he appeared to be devoid of any sort of human emotion so it was hard to tell.

"Poor Kuchiki doesn't have the same pert ass her brother has." Szayel sighed moving away which made Nnoitra lose balance and fall on the floor onto himself. "Bitch..."

The teen heard the tent open then felt someone step on his back. He screamed causing who the hell ever had the nerve to use him as a rug look down. The blond smirked at him. "So sorry Nnoitra-chan, I didn't mean to step on you." Nnoitra's right eye twitched as he looked at the face so much identical and equally infuriating as Szayel's minus the pink-haired teen's glasses. But Szayel's presence was far more enjoyable than Yylfordt's, and the pink hair (that was oddly natural) seemed to only add to Szayel's sex appeal which was why Nnoitra was prone to harassing him. "I don't suppose you've seen my precious twin otōto that you love to harass have you?"

"Why do you think I'm being—_gah_!" Nnoitra glared at the second person who decided to use his back as a floor mat.

"Oh." Green eyes looked down onto gray. "Gilga." The noirette wiped her feet on Nnoitra's back and allowed Yylfordt to help her down.

"You're looking as beautiful as ever Kurotsuchi-chan." Yylfordt took the opportunity to kiss the noirette's right hand.

"Yylfordt, you prick, help me the fuck up!"

The blond rolled his eyes then kicked Nnoitra in the face. "Help that. Come Kurotsuchi-chan." He held his arm out which the noirette took before they walked off toward the tent Byakuya and Ulquiorra were in.

"I swear Granz, your ass is mine!"

Leaning against one of the fragile poles of the tent Rukia watched Kurotsuchi Nemu of the student government, and daughter of the crazy-ass head of the science department Kurotsuchi Mayuri, along with some attractive blond who oddly resembled a blond Szayel approach her brother.

"Kuchiki-sama." The Szayel look-a-like replied bowing. "I'm all set for the kissing booth." He puckered his lips for emphasis.

"As am I." Nemu replied bowing as well. Like Ulquiorra, Nemu rarely showed any sort of emotion but she seemed to clearly avoid Byakuya other than when dealing with student government duties so Rukia chalked that up to fear of some sort; but with a father like Mayuri, Rukia wouldn't be surprised if Nemu was completely fearless. She glanced at Ulquiorra bowing again. "Cifer-kun."

Ulquiorra looked the green eyed girl once over before nodding and turning back to Byakuya. "As I was saying—"

"Cifer! I found him!" Nnoitra screamed. Byakuya, Yylfordt, Nemu, and Ulquiorra all glanced over to the lanky teen rising to his feet. "He's by the maid cafe."

Ulquiorra glared – though it was impossible to tell with the lack of movement from his facial muscles – at Nnoitra. "I'll be back." He said to no one in particular before walking over to Nnoitra and non too gently grabbed him by the collar dragging him out of the tent.

"I'm going to start my shift." Yylfordt said exiting the tent relieving the current kisser of their duties.

"I'm off as well Kuchiki-san." Nemu bowed again then exited the tent the same way Yylfordt did.

Before Nnoitra had the chance to speak Ulquiorra slammed him against the wall. "I don't like violence Gilga, but I find out you're lying to me I will make you regret it." With that he released the taller teen letting him crumple onto the floor before walking off in the direction of the maid cafe.

"Aniki!" Byakuya turned to Rukia.

"Did you want to participate in the kissing booth too?"

"What? No I—uh." The noirette shrugged, "I guess I wouldn't mind, but that is not the conflict of interest here!" Rukia opened the tent slightly revealing the line that was even longer than when she first entered the tent. "I guarantee ninety-five percent of the students out there want to kiss you."

"Its physically impossible for them all to do that in fifteen minutes."

Rukia was about to retort but she sighed. "There's just no point arguing with you. But total hell will break loose if you go out there."

"I'm the last one to do it."

"But, the festival lasts until the evening. You're going to stay here until then?"

"Of course not. I'm just checking up on things, I have no interest in watching others make out with reckless abandon."

Rukia sighed in relief as her brother walked past her. "Mind if I tag along?"

"Not at all."

…

Hanatarō sighed. He didn't know how, but he somehow managed to lose both Keigo and Kensei while ended up at the maid cafe – as a maid.

The black-haired teen slowly approached his next table and nearly dropped the tray under his arm. There at the table he was supposed to serve sat Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow, Abarai Renji, and some barely conscious redhead face down into the table cloth.

"So, this is where you've been hiding out beansprout?" Grimmjow smirked playing with his phone.

Hanatarō shakily headed closer to Renji deeming him the lesser of two evils. He generally didn't have a problem with the redhead, it was just that he was usually in the company of Grimmjow (as he was right now) was why he stood clear of him. But as Renji was bigger and far less perverted it was safer being near him and the unconscious teen he had yet to identify.

"Aw, don't be like that Hanatarō-chan!" Grimmjow pouted leaning over the table making Hanatarō reflexively move backward closer to Renji.

"I think he's afraid of you Grimm." Renji replied leaning back to look at the teen upside down. "Where'd they stash your kimono?"

"I-In the back."

"You know." Hanatarō glanced at Grimmjow sporting a neutral expression. "If I were you, I'd be more worried about being near Starrk than me. I'm not the one set on claiming your ass." Hanatarō gulped. "By the way do you know how to cure inebriation?"

"What?"

"You know. Intoxication? Drunkenness? The state of being royally fucked?"

"N-No, I know what you mean." Hanatarō frowned. "I just don't know anything besides rest, and that doesn't even work all the time."

The redhead chose that moment to surface from the table top. "I think..." His eyes widened and he turned to the left then proceeded to throw up on the floor.

The patrons of the maid cafe behind their table gasped and groaned, and a few of them took pictures. Renji remained in his seat laughing while Grimmjow held his legs against his body in the chair avoiding the never-ending stream of unidentifiable goo falling from the redhead's mouth.

Despite his cast iron stomach, Grimmjow clamped a hand over his mouth feeling the nausea coming on from first hand witnessing someone throw up in front of him. Normally when one of the idiots (i.e. Yumichika, Shūhei, or Starrk) got drunk or sick and puked he was behind them holding their hair back or leaning against the bathroom wall.

"Dude!" Renji exclaimed staring at his friend who's face was turning a similar color to his hair. "You're not one of those people that throw up watching others throw up are you?" Still holding his mouth Grimmjow shook his head immediately regretting the action as it only added more nausea.

Finally the stream ended and the redhead passed out against his chair. The maids of the cafe, safe for Hanatarō, appeared in the blink of an eye hastily cleaning up the mess.

"Sir." One of the maids not cleaning up the mess approached the table and stood beside Hanatarō. The silver-haired teen was presumably the top dog as she was the only one with a name tag – and not one of those cheesy 'Hello my name is' name tags either. She glanced at Renji clearly dwarfing the black-haired teen beside her and possibly everyone else in the room. "I believe..." She began, "that it would be in everyone's best interest if your party would leave."

"Huh?" The redhead stood up from his seat noticing that he wasn't even a full centimeter taller than the woman with the name tag that read Kotetsu.

"One of your associates has passed out after ruining our establishment and the other looks as though he will further defile our carpet."

"Kotetsu-san, i-its not coming out!" One of the maids whined while scrubbing the carpet.

Gray eyes turned to the girl before looking back at Renji. "Look. I didn't let him drink, but I'm not the kind of guy to start a pointless fight so I'll leave." He easily scooped up Grimmjow and the other teen in each arm and exited the cafe.

"You could have taken that bitch." Grimmjow remarked allowing himself to be partially dragged to an outdoor table.

"Yeah, but I couldn't do that and carry you too." Renji rose an eyebrow. "I can't remember ever seeing you so ...green."

"Shit man, it just kept coming." Grimmjow groaned. "But I feel a little better."

"Good. Because I'm getting the fuck away from you."

"What? Hold up man, you promised to help me with him!"

Sighing, Renji plopped down on the table. "We need to get him some water, right?"

"He's still unconscious." Grimmjow prodded him with his index finger. "Hell of a heavy sleeper, hm?" Blue eyes narrowed at the blurred image jogging toward them. "'The fuck is that?"

"What?" Renji looked up to see Hanatarō, clad in his kimono, panting in front of them. "Oh. Hey. What happened?"

Hanatarō sighed. "I got fired."

"Why?"

"Some of the customers saw me talking to you guys... a-anyways here." He handed Renji the bottle of ice water in his hands. "This should help."

"Are you some kind of mind reader?" Hanatarō blinked at the blue-haired teen glaring at him. "We were just thinking about that."

"Nevermind him, he's still a little queasy. Thanks." Hanatarō nodded. "I don't suppose you have anything for nausea, do you?" He shook his head.

"B-But I'm sure I can find something in the infirmary, you can probably let your friend rest there too."

"Sure." Renji stood. "Come on Grimm." He knelt down picking up the smaller, still unconscious redhead piggyback style.

The blue-haired teen stood only to flop backward into the chair groaning. Renji smirked then shook his head walking over to Grimmjow extending an arm. "You've stepped on a bed of nails, jumped out of a three story building and survived with mild injuries, ate volcanic soup directly from the lit stove, dealt with Hirako's crazy ass on a daily basis for three whole years of junior high, and even got arrested! I thought you'd be able to tough out watching someone puke?"

"You didn't see what I saw man..."

Renji grimaced. If it was enough to make a regulation, thoroughbred badass like Grimmjow squirm like a little bitch it must have been quite a sight. Fortunately, the table restricted Renji's line of sight ...not to mention he was too busy laughing to actually watch but it was all out there for display to Grimmjow. Poor guy... but there were countless times in which the slightly older teen was a complete and total douche toward others in pain so this was sort of like just desserts.

Still, Renji wasn't as heartless as Grimmjow so he couldn't let the idiot suffer... that much. Renji put Grimmjow's arm over his shoulders partially dragging the blue-haired teen. "Lead the way Hanatarō-san."

The black-haired teen nodded then the group headed toward the outdoor infirmary.

…

By the time Ulquiorra made his way to the maid cafe it was being closed for cleaning. The black-haired teen made a mental note to maim Nnoitra before the day was over. Countless students, mainly the lackeys from the student government, approached him and practically begged him to participate in the kissing booth but Ulquiorra was having none of that. He didn't enroll into Rukongai to partake in trivial events such as this or squander with the masses. In fact, the only reason why he was here in the first place was because he heard Grimmjow would be and Ulquiorra had a few loose ends to tie up with the blue-haired loudmouth.

"Ah, Cifer-kun." Ulquiorra stared at the hand casually resting on his left shoulder before its owner came into his line of sight. "I didn't expect you to be at the cultural festival." The bespectacled man removed his arm.

"Aizen-sensei."

Adjusting his glasses the man nodded his greeting. "What a way to show your school spirit, hm? Kuchiki-kun certainly is an amazing leader, its unbelievable how he managed to pull this thing together perfectly on such short notice."

"I suppose."

"Cifer-kun you seem troubled ...slightly, is there something bothering you? Perhaps I might be of some assistance."

"No. Everything is fine sensei; the person I'm looking for keeps eluding me."

"Hm? Just who might this person be?"

"No one important."

"I beg to differ, he or she must be of great importance to you if you're looking for them."

"No. The person in particular isn't important, but what I need him for is."

"I see... well I'm on my way to the infirmary, care to join me?"

"No thank you. There is something I need to take care of here."

"Very well then. Take care of yourself Cifer-kun." Aizen nodded then waved his goodbye. Ulquiorra watched the bespectacled man walk off and another sensei meet up and walk away with him.

"Well, well, well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Narrowing his eyes, Ulquiorra didn't bother turning toward the taller teen walking over to him. "I'm not too sure Grimmy would be glad to see you though, all things considered."

"Where is he Hirako?"

Smirking, the taller teen casually walked in front of Ulquiorra shrugging his shoulders. "Don't know. Heard he threw up in the maid cafe though."

Green eyes glanced at brown. "I find it hard to believe that Jaegerjaquez would throw up anywhere let alone in public."

"You find a lot of things hard to believe." The blond sighed shaking his head, "and Grimmjow is full of surprises – you of all people should know that first hand."

"I don't have time to screw around with you Shinji."

"Ooh, its been a while since you referred to me by my given name." The blond grinned. "You always were a major killjoy Ulqui, that was probably why we separated after you graduated from junior high."

"I didn't have that much influence to disband the 'group' after I graduated."

"You had more influence than you realized, and your superior attitude often caused a lot of tension. Even Starrk had a hard time dealing with it and we both know how Starrk doesn't give a shit about anything."

"Are you telling me to apologize for growing up? Starrk and I were older than the rest of you so it isn't my fault he chose to remain a juvenile imbecile."

Shinji shrugged, "and look at the result now. He's out there having fun with the gang and you're lonely and bitter; so if those are the options I'm sure we'd all prefer to be juvenile."

"I had a feeling you'd say something like that."

"You know Ulqui, this is the longest we've ever spoken to one another in four years." Shinji locked his hands behind his head. "The whole gang should catch up."

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed as the blond walked away whistling. Throughout middle school Hirako Shinji was somewhat of an odd individual. He wasn't short-tempered like Grimmjow and occasionally Renji, he was nowhere near as flashy as Yumichika, and he wasn't as indifferent as Starrk but he definitely was just as eccentric as the rest of them.

Ulquiorra somehow managed to fit into the equation as the 'quite one' and was appointed the de facto leader by default as he was the oldest one; several months older than Starrk and the lone female in the group who were also a year older than Grimmjow, Renji, Yumichika, and Shinji.

But he wasn't interested in the blond. He needed to find the blue-haired teen. Shoving his hands into his pockets, the green-eyed teen walked off hoping to find Grimmjow and put an end to this ridiculous game of hide-and-seek.

….

"I can't believe that idiot hasn't found Kei-chan yet!" Chizuru seethed cracking her knuckles flipping her cellphone closed. "Poor little Kei-chan!"

"I'm sorry, since when have you shown concern for Keigo of all people? You're only friends with him through me."

Chizuru glared at her companion. "As far as guys go he's one of the best I've been around. I normally don't make male friends but we instantly clicked."

Tatsuki rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Keigo's a sweetheart, an idiotic sweetheart but a sweetheart nonetheless. He's definitely the contrast compared to the rest of the idiots I grew up with."

"What about Sado-kun, I mean he seems sweet."

"Of course he is but that was already a given. Speaking of Chad, how come you aren't all worried and concerned over him? You two seem to be pretty friendly toward one another."

"Why would I be concerned over him? He's freakishly large and can break metal with his fists!"

"True..."

Chizuru sighed. "Kei-chan is shorter than the rest of us, and oddly enough he's the oldest too."

"Yeah, but he's only a few days older than you and Chad so its not that hard to believe."

A buzzing of the redhead's cellphone abruptly stopped the conversation in mid stride. "Moshi moshi?"

"_I found Keigo."_ Chad's voice calmly stated over the phone. _"But then I lost him."_ As Tatsuki was sitting near Chizuru listening she facepalmed. _"I can't get in contact with Ichigo or Ikkaku and apparently you have Tatsuki's phone."_

Chizuru looked down noticing that she had picked up Tatsuki's phone instead of her own. It was to understandable since their cellphones were identical, and Chizuru was questioning the fact that the brunet had her number when she didn't have his.

Tatsuki snatched her phone from the redhead. "What a coincidence we were just talking about Keigo. I'm sure he's alright though, lets give him the benefit of the doubt."

"We never should have left him on the bench!"

"What do you mean we? I didn't see you on the bench when I woke up, more to the point who left us on the bench to begin with."

"_That was me." _Chad's voice cut in, the girls stared at one another before looking at the phone. _"I had to talk to Ichigo so I left you three there, after we were finished talking I sort of forgot about it so I went to eat."_

Chizuru facepalmed. "Okay, so Tatsuki, did you see Keigo when you woke up?"

"I don't remember. The first thing I saw when I woke up was this little kid with pink-hair staring intently at me. Then she dragged me away helping her look for some Ken-chan!"

"_Then its possible Tatsuki was the last to wake up?"_

"We don't really know because Kei-chan won't answer his stupid phone!"

"_I think we should try and search for him together." _Tatsuki and Chizuru exchanged glances. _"We all searched separately and nothing happened so I think its best we have six eyes looking out at the same time."_

"Technically we have eight since Chizuru is a four-eyes." The redhead elbowed her. "But I agree. We'll meet you at the maid cafe in ten minutes."

"_Aye aye!"_

….

The maid cafe was closed for cleaning and Byakuya intended on finding out why. The nineteen-year-old didn't turn the kitchen in the campus' culinary arts building into a popular eatery only to have it closed down hours before the festival ended. In amidst the confusion and chaos Byakuya lost sight of his little sister, but Rukia was a big girl so there was no dire need to search for her... besides she had this eerie way of finding him; like he had some sort of built-in tracking device.

"Kuchiki-san!" Hinamori ran up to the him panting. "Booth ...problem ...kissing!" She wheezed.

"Are you trying to tell me there is a problem with the kissing booth?" The out of breath teen nodded almost violently. "Fine. While I check that out see what happened with the cafe."

Hinamori nodded then slowly trudged toward the cafe. The noirette carefully slipped inside the building only to be stopped by a silver-haired teen. "Halt!"

"I-I'm with the student government."

"I'm well aware of that Hinamori-chan." Hinamori pouted. "I'll take it that Kuchiki-san sent you?"

"Y-Yes." Hinamori looked around. "Exactly what happened Kotetsu-san?"

"Well one of the patrons threw up almost violently on the floor." Hinamori grimaced. "We expect to reopen the cafe in a matter of minutes so tell Kuchiki-san not to worry."

"Uh, I would ...if I wasn't so terrified of him."

"I don't think anyone isn't terrified of him." Kotetsu sighed. "Which is a shame since he's rather popular, not that he cares about popularity."

Hinamori shook her head. "No. I don't think he does, but he still accepted the position of president despite his obvious lack of interest in the student affairs."

The silver-haired teen shrugged her shoulders. "None of us know what's going on in Kuchiki-san's head and I believe he prefers to keep it that way."

…

Chad found Tatsuki and Chizuru standing in front of the apparently closed maid cafe frowning. "Hey!" Chizuru cheered bouncing over to him. "Do you know what happened here?" The brunet shook his head. "I had no idea but this campus is a lot bigger than it lets on."

"Stop babbling." Tatsuki stepped up to Chad sighing. "She saw some cute girl and now she's all giggly."

"Cute girl?" Tatsuki nodded. "You sound jealous."

"What?" The noirette blushed. "Don't be ridiculous Chad why would I be—"

"Hime!" Chizuru practically flew over to the clearly startled burnt-orange haired girl. "I want you to meet someone." Without letting the girl respond Chizuru grabbed her hand bringing her over to Chad and Tatsuki.

"Sado-kun this is Hime."

"Hi." The girl greeted. "I'm Inoue Orihime."

"Sado Yasutora, but everyone calls me Chad."

"Chad, hm?" The brunet nodded. "So, why are you standing in front of the maid cafe? A guy threw up in there earlier." Chizuru and Tatsuki paled but Orihime nodded to herself and kept talking. "I saw the whole thing and it was really gross. Not the guy, but what he was doing. I mean it went on for at least ten minutes but I felt sorry for Jaegerjaquez-san though, he looked a little worse for wear not to mention he had front row seats to it."

"Jaegerjaquez?"

Orihime nodded. "You know, from the seireitei website? Everyone was taking pictures of him but I don't think he realized since he was too busy talking to one of the maids."

"Inoue-san." Orihime looked up at Chad. "The guy throwing up, did you happen to get a look at his face beforehand?"

Orihime blushed. "Y-Yeah, why?"

"I have a friend with Jaegerjaquez-san so I wanted to make sure it was him." Tatsuki and Chizuru exchanged glances before looking at Chad questionably.

"Well he was with two guys... but the one throwing up had bright orange hair and brown eyes."

"Funny. That sounds like Kurosaki." Chizuru laughed while Tatsuki and Chad stared at her. "It is Kurosaki!" Tatsuki facepalmed. "Tell me something Hime, did he have a perpetual frown and a sour disposition?" Orihime nodded.

"I guess that explains why Ichigo hasn't answered his phone."

"Y-You don't think he and Jaegerjaquez-san are ...you know—"

"Playing pelvic pinochle?" Chizuru nodded. "Ichigo is a bit of a prude so I don't think so, besides the only person he's ever had sex with was Ishida. Still, the mere thought of him being in the same vicinity as Jaegerjaquez is rather surprising." Tatsuki turned to Chad. "You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, right?"

"No. Ichigo did this on his own."

"Then you knew?"

Chad shook his head. "I only found out a few hours ago."

"Now I want to find Kurosaki." Chizuru sighed. "I wonder where they went?"

"I thought you wanted to find Keigo."

The redhead gasped. "That's right! We should look for Kei-chan first then we'll search for Kurosaki."

"I'll help." Orihime rocked back and forth on the balls and heels of her feet. "Eight eyes are better than six."

"Ten." Chizuru elbowed her.

"That's great Hime."

"Personally I think it would be better to split up knowing we have to search for two people."

"But I—"

"Great. So glad you agree. Come on Chad." Tatsuki grabbed the brunet by the arm pulling him along. "You guys search the right side and we'll meet up at the main building."

Chizuru sighed. "Um, Chizuru-chan, maybe you should have went with Arisawa-san."

"No. Tatsuki's fine... I hope. Well, lets get going Hime."

"Right!" The two girls began walking off in the opposite direction of Tatsuki and Chad.

…

Chaos was an understatement to describe what was going on at the kissing booth. Apparently none of the prominent members of the student government had stuck around long enough to see what was going on. A gloved hand clawed the edge of the tent and Yylfordt dragged himself inside panting.

Grimacing, the blond continued to drag himself further inside then took a cloth to wipe off the thick globs of lipstick from his face and neck. Brown eyes locked onto gray. "Kuchiki, its a feeding frenzy out there! The crowd is demanding you." The blond took a deep breath. "I tried to hold them off but I can't take it anymore, I mean look at me!"

Byakuya sighed. "Get a grip Granz." The blond frowned. "Where is your brother?"

"Probably off giving Gilga head or something." The blond picked up a clipboard laying precariously on the table. "According to this chart everyone else has already taken a turn, but there's about three hours left before the booth is scheduled to close."

"Then obviously a few members are either lying or haven't taken a full turn." Byakuya turned to the blond who flinched. "Track down every single member of the student government and bring them here."

"U-Understood."

Yylfordt somehow managed to get every student government member and the other kissing booth volunteers over the course of an hour. He had also temporarily closed down the kissing booth, telling all the paying customers that they will get a complimentary kiss for their patience. Needless to say they happily complied and disappeared without a single complaint.

So, now, everyone sat at a table staring at Byakuya and Szayel seated at the head of the table. "This is disappointing." The pink-haired teen stated shaking his head. "We leave and this is what happens?"

"It isn't our fault they all paid to kiss Kuchiki-san!" Yylfordt said standing up.

"Shut up aniki, I'm not through talking." The blond mumbled incoherently then unceremoniously plopped down in his seat. Szayel sighed. "Fortunately, I have a remedy for this ...situation." The pink-haired teen adjusted his glasses. "We have somewhat of a celebrity gracing us with his presence."

"Are you talking about Jaegerjaquez-sama?" Hinamori asked raising her hand.

"Hinamori, what's the point of raising your hand if you're just going to blurt out your question?"

"Uh, I..." The noirette snapped her mouth shut then put her hand down.

Sighing, Szayel pinched the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, yes Hinamori-chan, I am referring to Jaegerjaquez-san. Now, does anyone have any idea where we can find him?"

"He's in the infirmary." Nnoitra replied. Szayel rose an eyebrow at the inexplicably large teen noticing the black eye he was now sporting – or rather the eyepatch he had on that poorly hid the bruise under his left eye.

"I heard that from Aizen-sensei." Amber eyes turned toward the bespectacled noirette seated beside Nnoitra. "He's there with the redhead that threw up in the maid cafe."

"Is that your final answer Yadōmaru?" The noirette nodded taking her feet off the table and leaning forward. "Very well. Hinamori, Yadōmaru, and aniki. Go and check the infirmary for Jaegerjaquez and convince him to come—"

"That will take too long." Byakuya interrupted. "Plus there is no guarantee he'll come."

"Yeah, but—"

"We'll have to divide the shifts once again, but the first order of business would be..." Byakuya held up the clipboard. "Who is lying about taking a shift in the first place?"

"Can I see that?" Byakuya handed the clipboard to the pink-haired teen. "Every name is scratched off, and neither mine nor Kuchiki's names are listed here and we obviously haven't yet."

"I believe that was Kuna's job for today."

"Huh?" The green-haired girl slammed her hands on the table and stood. "I'm not even in the student government so you should be happy that I decided to help!" Everyone stared at her. "Yes. I forgot to take the clipboard with me when I left but I didn't cross off all the names! And you should talk Gilga!"

"Pfft. I'm not as scatterbrained as you are."

"I'm not a scatterbrain!" She whined. "And, Granz-san, I volunteer to take a shift now since I didn't get to kiss anyone!"

"Then what, may I ask, were you doing instead of manning the booth?"

"You couldn't possibly expect me to stay here all day did you?" Szayel's right eye twitched. "The line to the bathroom was long! It took me nearly two hours to find a working bathroom and another hour on line, I'm surprised I didn't pee myself!"

Szayel facepalmed. "I'm telling you there should have been more outhouses!"

"That's enough Kuna!" The green-haired girl nodded sitting down. Szayel shook his head. "What do you propose Kuchiki? Let the scatterbrain man the kissing booth?"

"If she didn't get a chance then its only fair."

"Yes!" She cheered pumping her fist in the air. "I won't let you down Kuchiki-san! Well, not this time anyway."

"Now, in order to ensure this shit doesn't happen again no one is leaving the tent."

"What?" Was the collective response.

"We're going in order, again, then when everyone has had a chance I will go then Kuchiki finishes off the booth. Once you have finished feel free to get the hell out of here, but until then you stay. Understand?"

Everyone nodded. "Good. You're up first Kuna."

"Aye aye! Kuna Mashiro is on the job!" Saluting Szayel and Byakuya the green-haired teen energetically exited the tent.

Nnoitra shook his head. "What a weirdo."

"Speaking of weirdos, I need to have a word with you Gilga." Sighing, the black-haired teen languidly stood and walked out of the tent with Szayel.

The pink-haired teen leaned against one of the polls on the opposite tent. "I take it the information you gave Ulquiorra-kun was false?"

"No. It wasn't." Nnoitra cradled the left side of his face. "Fuck, I don't see how it was my fault he got there too late!"

Szayel shrugged. "I guess Ulquiorra-kun doesn't see it that way." Chuckling, Szayel made his way back into the tent.

Meanwhile, Mashiro was having the time of her life. According to the rules or whatever of the kissing booth, each kisser was allotted fifteen minutes to an hour maximum to kiss as many people as possible in two to ten second intervals. Customers were also allowed to buy extra seconds if left unsatisfied. The kisses were paid for on line, the line that Mashiro was taking care of before nature called. As she was now kissing the customers that didn't pay got to pay up front while the ones that paid in advanced just handed in their receipts.

"This is so much fun!"

"Hi Mashiro-chan!"

"Riruka!" The green-haired girl cried wrapping her arms around the purple-haired teen. "I get to kiss you? Sweet!"

"What? No you don't get to kiss me! I was just walking by."

"Well have a seat!" Mashiro pulled the girl out of line and atop the booth to sit beside her. "Next!"

Another purple-haired girl stepped up in front of Riruka and Mashiro. "Cirucci?"

"Hiya Mashiro-chan!" She looked Riruka up and down. "Dokugamine."

"Sanderwicci." Brown eyes narrowed. "Bitch."

"Uh, did you come to get a kiss?"

"Not from you." Mashiro pouted. "I heard Granz was here."

"Which one, there are two you know." Riruka rolled her eyes.

"I was referring to Szayel-san."

"Well he wasn't manning the booth, Yylfordt was."

"Sorry Cirucci-chan, but Granz-san...uh, Szayel, won't have the booth until the next to last shift." Huffing the purple-haired girl stomped away. Mashiro cleared her throat. "Next!"

…

Renji stood over Grimmjow's semi-conscious body shaking his head. The blue-haired teen might not have thrown up or gotten more nauseous but he was still taking this thing like a little bitch. Grimmjow and Renji had been inseparable since they met at age four. The two kids grew up in the streets together then attended the same orphanage school where they met Yumichika.

Thinking back, Renji realized that Grimmjow hadn't been in a situation like this and Renji himself wasn't the type to throw up over anything – in fact the redhead couldn't remember the last time he actually threw up.

The campus' nurse had taken care of Grimmjow, giving him some medicine and putting a warm cloth over his head to stop the room from spinning as he so eloquently put it.

"I'm heading out Grimm, but don't worry dude I'll be back to take you home."

Grimmjow slowly peeled the warm cloth off his face. "I don't trust you man, you're going to disappear on me."

"I'm a man of my word." Renji glanced at Ichigo's unconscious form. "I'll even help with _that_."

"No need." Grimmjow sat up and Renji turned toward the door spotting Chad and one of the now conscious girls from before. "I'll take Ichigo to his dorm." The girl, who seemed insignificant standing beside the big guy, leaned over staring at the duo.

"What happened?"

"Got shitfaced, puked, and passed out." Grimmjow put the cloth back over his face and laid back down.

"Thank you for taking care of him."

Renji shrugged. "No problem." The redhead waved as the two teens exited the room. "I take it you're not hungry, right?" Grimmjow shook his head. "Okay. I'll be back."

The redhead aimlessly wandered the campus grounds. If this was what college students had to go through he was more than happy not to be apart of that spectrum. "Ooh, taiyaki!"

Paying the proprietor, Renji happily held the fish shaped pastries in his hands stopping to see what the commotion was all about. Biting the head of one of the fishes, Renji walked closer seeing it was a kissing booth.

Teens, and maybe a few adults, of all shapes and sizes were standing a good distance away from the booth sighing dreamily.

"Next." Renji blinked, looking at the gray-eyed teen leaning disinterestedly against the booth. Brown eyes widened as Renji recognized the teen from the picture. He couldn't remember the name, but that face was unmistakable. Smirking, the redhead strode forward put his money into the jar labeled '_Kissing Booth Funds – Pay Or Go The Fuck Away!_' then – without warning – leaned forward pressing his lips against the stunned black-haired teen's.

Renji only had a few seconds to explore the shorter teen's warm orifice before he was violently pulled off by his collar and dragged off. "Sorry to interrupt Renji but I got a text from Chi, apparently he got his skirt caught on a fence and cut his leg."

Renji looked at the teen staring back at him licking his lips.


	4. 4: Having Your Tea and Drinking it Too

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction and blah, blah, blah. I also do not own any of the mentioned or referenced manga or video games.

A/N: I honestly don't know what color Ikkaku's eyes are as they are _way_ too small to tell so I'll merely state them as brown.

_On 6/1/11 (or was it 6/2?) – $1,500.02 = ¥121,400; $500.01 = ¥40,467  
190cm = 6ft, 2.8in; 180cm = 5ft, 11in_

* * *

"_Tea and books – Mmmmmm, two of life's exquisite pleasures that together bring near-bliss."  
-Christine Hanrahan_

* * *

Seireitei-dot-org's December Employee-of-the-Month Status:  
1. Yamada Hanatarō (38.5%)  
2. Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow (22.7%)  
2. Starrk Coyote (22.7%)  
4. Ayasegawa Yumichika (13.4%)  
5. Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō (2.6%)  
6. Hisagi Shūhei (0.1%)

Renji and Grimmjow stared in awe at the computer screen in front of them. "Starrk's given name ...is Coyote?"

Yumichika rolled his eyes and plopped onto the desk beside the monitor crossing his bandaged leg over his uninjured one. "Forget that." He pointed to his name. "I dropped to fourth place! I was overall the second post popular employee!"

"Yeah, its a real travesty." Grimmjow pulled Yumichika off the desk and into the chair space between him and Renji. "More importantly I didn't get to mop the floor with Co-yo-te because we tied for second place."

"Like no one saw that coming." Grimmjow glared at Renji. "I believe the part we were supposed to be the most surprised at was Hanatarō-kun beating us all. Or am I mistaken?"

"I personally don't think it is a surprise." Renji, Yumichika, and Grimmjow all stared at Shūhei. "Hanatarō-chan has hidden sex appeal, why do you think Kyōraku-san hired him?"

"Curiosity?"

"Pity?"

"He needed a gofer?"

Shūhei facepalmed. "No! He saw some potential in him... at least that's what I think."

"Well, I still think he needed a patsy."

Shūhei stared at the teen beside him. "You just said a gofer Grimmjow."

The blue-haired teen shrugged, "same thing really. Besides, at least I didn't say he pitied the poor thing like Yumichika did."

"Hey, Shū-senpai asked me what I thought and I answered." The purple-eyed teen sighed. "Just to clear the air, let me start by saying there are lots of different ways to pity someone; I believe he pitied Hanatarō-kun's situation and helped him out."

"Pity is still pity Yumi!"

"Well, Hanatarō-chan is pretty gullible so pity might be a plausible reason." Shūhei glanced at the younger teens. "Though I believe my reason is the best."

"Whatever man, just who the fuck is this Oto guy anyway?" Grimmjow clicked on the link through the name. Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō, or Rose as everyone called him, was a second year college student originally from France that recently transferred to Rukongai University.

"France? Ah hell no, this town is too damn small for all these weirdo foreigners to come here."

"Yeah, you should talk Jaegerjaquez."

"I'm half-Japanese baby."

"Maybe this 'Rose' guy is too." Shūhei skimmed the page. "Bio says he's a hybrid too." Grimmjow waved him off. "Bio also says he joined seireitei to make some easy money; apparently the thought of pleasing others comes naturally to this guy."

"Well maybe—" Yumichika looked down at the cellphone buzzing in his pocket making a mental note not to put it in his back pocket anymore, especially when he was sitting. Grimacing he took his phone out of his pocket while Renji, Shūhei, and Grimmjow all took out their cellphones.

"Oh boy." The four teens looked up at Starrk standing behind the computer. "Time to go to work."

... ...

"Rukia...? Byakuya?" Kuchiki Sōjun walked into his house, the upstairs part that was 'given' to his son and daughter. Once in a while he would come up to check on his kids, mostly Rukia as Byakuya didn't need to be checked on. In fact Sōjun really wouldn't have minded if Byakuya decided to move out and live on his own, his father might not welcome such an idea but it really wasn't up to him.

"Sōjun-kun?" Speaking of the devil, the black-haired man turned toward his father. "This came in the mail for Rukia."

"Tou-san, you're not going through my daughter's mail... are you?" The gray-haired man merely handed his son the envelope then disappeared. Sighing, Sōjun looked at the letter in his hand with the words _s-e-i-r-e-i-t-e-i_ written on the letterhead inside some weird rose colored strelitzia insignia.

Making sure the coast was clear the black-haired man slowly opened the letter in a way that wouldn't damage the sealing should he need to re-seal it later. It was a father's job to make sure his children were well taken care of and not in any sort of legal troubles. Sōjun slowly took the piece of paper out of the envelope and read it to himself.

"_Dear Kuchiki Rukia-san,  
Thank you for your interest in purchasing a host from our website. As per your request we will mail your three month bill to you. For your first time purchase we have given you an extra month absolutely free! We hope you enjoy the time our employee is in your care._

Price: ¥121,400—"

Sōjun didn't bother reading the rest of the letter and gently placed it the way it was before he touched it then placed it in the pile with the rest of the mail for his children. Rukia bought a host? Was the tension he sensed coming from his daughter of the sexual nature? And was it really so bad that she had to pay someone for release? More importantly was it really worth the ¥40,467 a month? Rukia was a Kuchiki and, not to sound arrogant or conceited or anything, they were incredibly attractive beings!

Sōjun just couldn't wrap his head around this one. It must be one incredible fuck to pay three months for it plus get a complimentary month free.

"Tou-sama?" Sōjun turned toward his daughter closing the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing." Not wanting to delve deeper into the subject, Sōjun simply left the house leaving his daughter confused.

Shrugging, the eighteen-year-old gathered the mail and walked to her room. Byakuya never got the mail so she figured it was simpler to have seireitei bill her by mail instead of e-mail; especially since she rarely checked her e-mail due to spam and all sorts of other junk mail filling her inbox.

After separating the letters, Rukia picked up the mail from seireitei. The price was a lot cheaper than she anticipated, but it was well in her price range – technically it was her father's price range. Speaking of her father. Rukia's eyes widened. "Oh no..." The noirette bit her lip. It was possible her father saw the letter, and even more likely that he opened it, fortunately there was no way he would sense it was for Byakuya – if anything he would just think the host, who thankfully wasn't named, would be for her and that wasn't such a bad thing... she guessed.

"Rukia." The eighteen-year-old dropped the letter and stared at her grandfather standing in her doorway. "Perhaps you would like to discuss the matter of you purchasing a host and using your tuition money to do so?"

Rukia gulped. Everyone at Rukongai thought Byakuya was scary but the nineteen-year-old was nothing compared to the fear that Kuchiki Ginrei could instill.

... ...

Kyōraku paced his living room stopping to stare at his employees every few seconds. "Thank you all for coming. As you may or may not know thanks to Yamada Hanatarō-kun, seireitei-dot-org's popularity has grown substantially and as such I was able to hire a few more employees and still earn a considerable profit."

"On the subject of new employees I would like to officially welcome Starrk Coyote, Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō, and of course our newly appointed chief executive officer turned employee/employee-of-the-month Yamada Hanatarō—"

"Hey!" Everyone turned to the black-haired teen seated on the chair's armrest. "They aren't the only new employees of seireitei Kyōraku-san!"

"That is true Antenor-kun, and I apologize. I would also like to officially welcome Antenor Luppi-kun..." The teen nodded then Kyōraku looked around, "and I believe that is all the welcoming I need to do at this time."

"What are we here for anyway Kyōraku-san?"

"Hand, Jaegerjaquez-kun." Scowling, the blue-haired teen rose his hand. "Now, it is a new month so its only right we start something new. I'd hate to put all the pressure on Hanatarō-kun even though he does an excellent job on the website, nevertheless I have decided to ask all of you what you think. After all you are the reason why New Year's is booked with back-to-back trips around the world!"

Everyone in the room collectively groaned.

"Speaking of New Year's, each of you employed now will receive a holiday bonus – for both Christmas and New Years." Grimmjow put his hand down. "Now, does anyone... other than Jaegerjaquez-san have an idea to implement?"

"Ooh!" Yumichika rose his hand. "By the way Kyōraku-san this hand raising thing feels like we're back in high school. My idea is group hosting!" Everyone stared wide-eyed at the brunet.

"Group... hosting?" Kyōraku tapped his chin, "explain."

"Sure. Well, you know how you can pay for one of us right?" Kyōraku nodded. "So why not have more? I mean, the more the merrier is the expression is it not? Make some kind of discount thing so that customers can pay for more than one of us at a time."

"That is an interesting idea Ayasegawa-kun." Yumichika beamed. "However, the downside to that is not all of you are in direct contact with one another and lets not forget you all don't get along."

"Then have some sort of packaged deal. Only put employees that you know work well together. Like, for example, Grimmjow and Renji. Or myself and St—Shūhei-senpai, no wait Hanatarō-kun with me. Maybe even me, Renji, and—"

"Thank you Ayasegawa-kun, I get it." Kyōraku sighed, "I'll see what I can do. Anyone else? No, not you Jaegerjaquez-kun."

Grimmjow elbowed Renji, who was seated beside him, then whispered in his ear. "Kyōraku-san—"

"No, Abarai-kun." The redhead dejectedly put down his hand. "No Hisagi-kun, not you either." Shūhei put his hand down and mouthed an apology to Grimmjow.

"Kyōraku-san, may I ask why you won't listen to my idea?"

"Okay, Jaegerjaquez-kun, I'll bite. What is this idea you have?"

"Make a seireitei calender, the top twelve hottest guys each get a month. Their best pictures all over like one of those things... um, what are they called? We used to do them all the time in junior high..."

Starrk rose an eyebrow. "A collage?"

"Yeah. As it was my idea I get to be the month of my choice, plus I get to chose the other eleven."

"Knowing you, Jaegerjaquez-kun, I'll bet your choices are completely biased but that's understandable as you are in damn good company. I'll take it into consideration."

"I have an idea!" Luppi rose his hand and Kyōraku nodded in acknowledgment. "Have a special on the employee-of-the-month." Hanatarō's eyes widened. "Reveal all sorts of info on them during their reign and give customers a discount on them since they're going to be the most requested anyway."

"Now, this I wouldn't mind... however I doubt Hanatarō-kun would accept your idea; the info part anyway."

"Oi." Kyōraku turned to Starrk. "Why don't we just leave things the way they are. I mean, if it ain't broke don't fix it right?"

"Coyote has a point." Starrk glared at him. "The website is fine without extra discounts and shit. But, in an attempt not to be biased, I do love my idea. Yumi's isn't all that bad either."

Kyōraku clapped his hands together. "I understand what you're saying Starrk-kun, and I have no intention of fixing anything I simply want to add things to increase seireitei's popularity. After all, everything we've added so far only aided in the rise of the website. Perhaps you can give us an idea to help with that?"

Starrk sighed. "Maybe you should put some kind of time limit or schedule type thing, because I've had idiots calling me all hours of the freaking night."

"That's an excellent idea. Each employee will have their own schedule displaying the hours they can be contacted. Wonderful Starrk-kun." The blue-gray eyed teen smirked at Grimmjow who scowled. "So, Jaegerjaquez-kun and Starrk-kun's ideas are definitely going up and Ayasegawa-kun and Antenor-kun's ideas will be looked over."

"Wait, you just said you'd think about Grimmjow's idea!" Yumichika huffed.

"I know, and I did think about it and I agree."

"Oh. Grimmjow's idea gave me an idea." Shūhei covered his mouth then raised his hand. Sighing, Kyōraku nodded. "Sell seireitei merchandise. Figurines, flavored lube, sex toys, all sorts of things pertaining to the employees and the website."

"Flavored lube?" Grimmjow whispered and Renji shrugged.

Kyōraku nodded. "That is ...why haven't we thought of that four months ago?" Everyone in the room shrugged. "Okay. You get on that Hisagi-kun. Jaegerjaquez-kun you, and I'm pretty sure Abarai-kun, will work on the calender. Ayasegawa-kun after some more thought I've decided to put your idea into effect as well so you will work on that. Starrk-kun, you and I will work on the schedule getting the info straight from the employees." Kyōraku sighed. "Antenor-kun... I will add the discount to the employee-of-the-month but Hanatarō-kun and I will debate the information thing."

Luppi nodded. "Good. See what happens when we all work together? Now, I want all of this done before Christmas so we can get it started for the new year."

"I'll do better than that. With everyone here all we need is a camera to take some more pictures."

"Who did you have in mind, Jaegerjaquez-kun?"

"Well, as I said... myself. I was also thinking about Renji, Yumi, Starrk, Be—Hanatarō, Shūhei, and I thought about putting you up there boss."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you made this whole thing possible right?" Kyōraku smirked.

"Bucking for a raise, Jaegerjaquez-kun?"

"Not at all."

"Okay, but you still need five more people."

Grimmjow looked around the room poorly masking his disdain. "The rose guy, Margela—"

"Not to cut you off Grimm, but I just had an even better idea. In addition to the *freeters—" Grimmjow and Renji glared at him, "we should also make a calender of the hottest guys in Rukongai! You know, since half of your employees are also students there?"

"Well the campus did help fund seireitei... now its the opposite. Alright, Ayasegawa-kun, if you think Jūshirō-kun and Yamamoto-san will agree then have at it."

"Yumi, you're not hoping to fill the calender with twelve months of you... right?"

"Of course not." Yumichika smirked. "With my blinding beauty I doubt anyone would be able to see straight afterwords, or even want to look at anything else for that matter. Why I'm certain just one month of me might be too much."

"You may be right, I guess you shouldn't be in the calendar at all."

"What? That's not even funny Grimmjow!"

"Settle down." Kyōraku sighed. "This is what I get for hiring a bunch of teenagers. Ayasegawa-kun go and ask for permission to use non seireitei employees but make sure you're back for your picture. I'm sure customers will raise hell if you aren't included."

"'Kay, just make sure you leave September opened for me Grimm!"

"Can do chief!"

... ...

Ikkaku slept soundly and semi-comfortably in the warm confines of his bed dreaming of half-naked black-haired teen's lavishing his equally half-naked body with nips, licks, and—

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, b__eep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, b__eep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, b__eep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!_

The brown eyed teen bolted upright in his bed panting and clutching his sheets. Realizing he was safely nestled in his futon, he glared at his alarm clock that kept its incessant screeched and effortlessly threw said object against the wall breaking it. The eighteen-year-old sighed, plopping back down in his bed. That was the fifth clock he had broken in the past three days.

Ever since that damn kiss at the cultural festival ten days ago, Ikkaku had been plagued with dreams involving Yumichika. The most notable dream involved the older teen engaged in a very peculiar nantaimori but instead of being covered with sushi – that Ikkaku didn't like anyway – the effeminate teen was covered with fruits, chocolate, and bite-sized pastries.

The images had been so vivid and tantalizing that Ikkaku woke up with both an erection and a nosebleed. Which he thought was physically impossible before that day.

Ikkaku glanced to his right at the sleeping form shuffling around underneath the covers. Each dorm was designed differently so he and Ichigo shared their one-bedroom dorm but the bedroom was about the size of two small bedrooms anyway so neither one was complaining.

Of course, the only bad thing about sharing a bedroom was he couldn't deal with his recently ongoing ...problems without waking up his roommate who was a surprisingly light sleeper. Ikkaku was surprised Ichigo didn't wake up from the clock's alarm then said clock being subsequently thrown into the wall.

After the fiasco at the cultural festival, Ikkaku had canceled his three month order – he couldn't possibly bear to see Yumichika in person or hear his voice after the fantasies that caused him catastrophic and massive blood loss. He'd be screwed if he was anemic.

While looking up how exactly one would go about canceling an order, Ikkaku found Grimmjow's page amongst Ichigo's bookmarks. The eighteen-year-old didn't own his own PC so he often used Ichigo's or whoever else's that came over (i.e. Tatsuki, Chad, Chizuru, or Mizuiro); Keigo didn't own a PC because he claimed to not like laptops but Ikkaku suspected the teen couldn't afford one.

Ichigo was a prude so Ikkaku didn't think he had the balls to order Grimmjow, especially with all the ridicule and shit the redhead was putting him through for doing pretty much the same thing with Yumichika, but stranger things have happened. Still, Ichigo had pretty bad taste in bedmates; though it would technically be bedmate (singular) because Ichigo only slept with the same person repeatedly; Ichigo must be a ridiculously good lay to keep Ishida sated for four whole years. In fact, Ikkaku wouldn't have been surprised if the bespectacled teen was looking for a way to get back in the sack with the redhead... even if he wasn't interested in pursuing their former relationship.

Ikkaku heard the door opening and slowly sat up letting the sheets fall down to his lap immediately regretting the decision to go to bed shirtless. His nipples hardened almost instantaneously with the cold air and goosebumps broke out onto his skin.

Ikkaku couldn't sleep unless he was under a blanket; oddly enough, he could sleep naked (which he often did) as long as there was a blanket over his unclothed form. Of course sleeping shirtless in early December wasn't exactly a smart thing to do.

"I never understood why you sleep without a shirt on in cold weather."

Ikkaku sighed kicking the covers off his bed accepting the shirt the brunet handed to him. "Did Ichi give you a key?"

The shorter teen plopped down on the edge of the bed. "No, you did. Remember?"

"Can't say I do." Ikkaku shrugged stretching and yawning. "You know this is all your fault, right?"

"Huh? W-What's my fault!"

"This whole thing. I've been having near nightly wet dreams about Yumichika because of you!"

"I don't see what _I_ have to do about you having wet dreams about another guy."

"Idiot." Ikkaku sighed. "If you didn't show Ichi and the others his picture then I would have never wanted to meet him."

"Wait a minute, you went to meet Ayasegawa-kun?" Ikkaku nodded. "Was that during the cultural festival? I don't remember seeing you there, were you with him?"

"More or less. Speaking of the cultural festival Honshō went batshit crazy looking for you Kei. Said something about bigger guys making bets on your ass or something like that." Keigo paled. "Where were you during the cultural festival anyway?"

"Even I'm not sure. After seeing Ayasegawa-kun and Jaegerjaquez-san scooping up fish at the booth I guess I sort of passed out." Ikkaku facepalmed. "But its not like I was the only one!"

"Go on already."

"Okay, okay. When I came too I saw this guy with piercing green eyes looking for Jaegerjaquez-san; he said his name was Cifer. Umm... some time later I saw Yamada-san from seireitei so I started hanging around him and Muguruma-san. We ended up losing Yamada-san in the confusion of the kissing booth so just Muguruma-san and I hung out –until I sprained my ankle and ended up in the infirmary."

"Sounds like you had a pretty eventful day." Keigo nodded.

"But that's not why I'm here. I have an appointment with seireitei!"

"What do you mean an appointment?"

"An appointment, you know... like a job interview?"

"How does one get a job interview for an online website?"

"Kyōraku-san has a home office downtown, that's where all the business is done. You told me I needed a job..."

"Yeah, but you're practically selling yourself."

"So?"

Ikkaku sighed. "Of course."

Ikkaku stared at the teen who started buzzing. "Oops. That's my phone." Keigo pulled out his cellphone. "Moshi moshi... uh-huh, right now? O-Okay. I'll be there." The brunet flipped the phone closed. "Sorry, I have to go. Looks like they moved the interview up to today. See ya when I get back. I'll tell you all about it!"

Ikkaku blinked as the shorter teen disappeared. Keigo could possibly work for seireitei? The very same Asano Keigo who couldn't keep a job during high school? Unlike most high schools, the school Keigo and Ikkaku (along with Ichigo, Chad, and Tatsuki) attended allowed jobs as long as it didn't interfere with your grades. Keigo managed to maintain a seventy average in all his classes but never had a job long enough for it to actually affect his grades. Maybe the brunet would get lucky this time, Keigo was always a bit of a pervert so this job was right up his alley.

... ...

Byakuya gently put his brush down on the dresser and neatly put the majority of his hair into a ponytail. The cultural festival was much stranger than he would have ever thought possible. The fact that he was still thinking about it was proof. The last kiss he got from the kissing booth was better than the rest of them combined, worst of all it was also the shortest.

Though initially uninterested when the redhead approached the booth dropping his yen into the jar but when he leaned forward with those tan, smooth lips and pressed against Byakuya's. Although hesitant at first, the kiss become more aggressive with the addition of an inner oral tongue duel, however it abruptly stopped as a black-haired teen grabbed the redhead by the collar and dragged him off.

At first Byakuya dismissed the entire thing as a dream due to the fact that no one witnessed the kiss, but he had a hint of red bean paste and mint in his mouth afterwords. While he might have had something with mint in it Byakuya didn't normally partake in the consumption of sweets. From what he briefly saw, the redhead wasn't the least bit familiar even though the teen that dragged him off was.

With the cultural festival's end, he had to go to his other far more important job. Managing the Kuchiki clan's tea school.

Byakuya tied the obi tightly around his kimono and headed toward the school. It was still on the Kuchiki clan's property but the tea school wasn't close enough to the main house so stalkers couldn't find the house and spy on him – as many attempted to do in the past.

As soon as he turned seventeen, Byakuya had been entrusted to be iemoto of the tea school as his father and grandfather before him had.

Due to her lack of a Y-Chromosome and the fact that she was also the second born, Rukia didn't have to lead the tea school; though, when she turned seventeen as well, she was required to be one of the teachers for the younger students.

Byakuya entered the school unsurprised to see his sister and grandfather getting things ready. The nineteen-year-old doubted his grandfather would ever retire from the tea ceremony. Even if he didn't teach anymore he'd still be around making sure things got done right.

"Today is a special day." Sōjun said walking into the room stopping to have his father adjust his obi. "We're adding a new class to the school; males ages seventeen to twenty will be taught by our very own iemoto." Byakuya stared at his father, he might have been the iemoto but in the two years he'd been running the tea school and all the years he'd been apart of it he had yet to actually teach a class.

Sōjun seemed to sense his son's dismay even though it wasn't present on his face and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, teaching your peers is a lot easier than teaching a group younger than you are."

Rukia frowned. That was exactly what she was doing! She had to teach a couple of snot-nosed brats about the eloquence of the tea ceremony when they couldn't even hold a tea cup without breaking it. Rukia may have been more patient than her brother but it didn't mean she wasn't likely to snap at the kids who seemed to think breaking the tea cups was more interesting than drinking out of them! And just who the hell made kids enroll into a tea school anyway? No kids were in the tea school when they were growing up so the siblings were taught one-on-two by their grandfather.

"Is there a sign-in sheet tou-san?"

"No. Since this is a new class we're inviting walk-ins as well." Rukia nodded. Maybe this month's tea school might not be so bad.

... ...

Grimmjow, Starrk, Renji, and Yumichika looked down at the blond occupying their couch aimlessly flipping channels with the remote. "What the fuck are you doing here Hirako?" Grimmjow asked snatching the remote from Shinji's hand and turning off the television.

"Hey, I was watching that!" Grimmjow hit the teen on the head with the remote. "Oww... what did you do that for Grimmy?"

Before Grimmjow could hit him again Starrk snatched the remote from his hand, deposited it on the couch, then grabbed Shinji by the collar bringing him to eye level. "You're not thinking of staying here, are you Shinji?"

"Well, I was." The blond turned toward Yumichika. "By the way Yumi, I am digging the new do."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "You mean my bangs?" Shinji nodded. "Thanks."

"Yeah, it wasn't like that during the cultural festival..."

"Well I was trying to go for something different—"

Starrk shook the blond. "Don't change the subject."

"Hey, I answered your question." The blond's feet flailed around not exactly reaching anything since Starrk held him back so the feet wouldn't come in contact with him. "I haven't seen you guys for almost a whole year and this is how you treat me?"

Renji, Yumichika, and Grimmjow looked at each other then back at Shinji. "Yeah, guess so."

"So cruel!" Shinji looked down at the bandaged adorning Yumichika's short clad left leg, "why are you wearing shorts in December? More importantly, what happened to your leg?"

"I hopped the fence trying to get home, the broads from the student government wanted me to go back to the kissing booth."

"You were at the kissing booth?" Renji asked but before Yumichika could respond Grimmjow interrupted.

"There was a kissing booth?" Everyone turned to Grimmjow who facepalmed. "Fuck, I picked a bad day to get nauseous."

"I hear they were looking for you anyway." Starrk unceremoniously dropped Shinji on the floor, "I left halfway through though, it was getting boring as hell."

"So!" Shinji stood dusting himself off, "where do I sleep?" Horrified, the four teens gasped and turned to the blond. "W-What? I told you guys before I left that I'd live with you when I came back if you decided to get an apartment together."

Grimmjow, Starrk, and Renji all stared at one another before looking at Yumichika. "He's sharing with you."

"Huh?"

"Look Yumi, its bad enough Starrk and I are roomies you can't put me with another one, but I'd be more than happy to switch with you."

"Bullshit, I know the moment you're out of Starrk's room you're going into Renji's!" The blue-haired shrugged. "Besides, if I share a room with Starrk I'll get sexually harassed nonstop!"

"Then its not that much different than sharing with Grimmjow." Yumichika glared at Shinji who locked his hands behind his head. "I'm just saying."

"I've never 'sexually harassed' you Yumi."

"..." Yumichika facepalmed. "You know what. It doesn't matter, I'll share my damn room with Shinji." He turned to the blond. "I suppose you're better than Starrk or Grimmjow... but if you mess up my shit you're out, comprende?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good, glad we got that cleared up. Now lets get the shit we need so we can go back to Kyōraku's."

"Oh that's right. That website you told me about?" Grimmjow nodded. "Can I come?"

"He is a student of Rukongai now..."

"Yeah, but he's not all that attractive." Scowling, Grimmjow looked the blond up and down. "I suppose he's okay. Get your ass up Hirako."

"Great! Hey, what do you mean I'm not that attractive?"

"What's that thing in your hand?" Renji asked pointing to the pink piece of paper the blond was holding.

"Oh this? On my way over here I got invited to a tea school." The four teens turned to Shinji wearing similar confused expressions.

"What the hell is a tea school?" They asked simultaneously.

"Exactly what it sounds like. Its like the tea ceremony thing only its longer, they're supposed to teach you proper etiquette and how to harmonize and calm yourself."

Grimmjow shrugged. "We'll check it out, maybe, but you have to do something for us first."

"Hold on Grimm." Starrk interrupted. "Before that I wanna know just how the hell he got in here?" Shinji gulped as his new roommates stared at him.

"W-We should get going, you don't want to keep Kyōraku-san waiting!"

... ...

When Keigo arrived at the 'seireitei building' he was mildly surprised to see a bunch of people taking pictures together. "Asano-kun." The brunet turned toward the kimono clad man approaching him. "Nice to meet you, please, lets step into my office."

Nodding, Keigo followed the man into a room where Hanatarō sat behind a computer desk. The smaller teen waved to him and Keigo waved back before sitting down in the chair in front of Kyōraku's desk. "Now, Asano-kun, why are you interested in working for seireitei?"

The brunet cleared his throat. "Well, I've always enjoyed talking. Some of my friends say I talk too much." He frowned when Hanatarō chuckled. Kyōraku stared at the teen who turned back to the computer and resumed typing.

"But truthfully, and this a little embarrassing to say, I've always sort of liked sex." Eyes widening, Hanatarō and Kyōraku turned to Keigo who shook his hands defensively. "Don't get me wrong, I'm no man whore or gigolo anything. I just like talking about and learning about it. I guess I want to have as much knowledge as possible before I actually engage in it."

"Wait a minute, are you telling me you're a virgin?"

"You make it sound like its a bad thing." Kyōraku rose an eyebrow. "Technically I am since I've never went all the way, but I've pretty much done everything else."

Kyōraku whistled leaning back in his seat. "I believe you might even be more experienced than Jaegerjaquez-kun overall." He turned to Hanatarō who was blushing furiously while he typed. "But 'technically' you are in the same boat as Hanatarō-kun."

"Oh?"

Kyōraku nodded. "You don't actually have to have physical sex to engage in phone sex. You have had phone sex before, haven't you?"

Keigo nodded slowly. "Once. I tried it and it ended disastrously."

Kyōraku laughed. "I like you Asano-kun." He opened the top drawer on the right side and pulled out a phone. "This is for you."

"Y-You mean—"

"Welcome to seireitei-dot-org Keigo-kun. I look forward to your employment here."

"Yo." Kyōraku looked up at Grimmjow in the doorway. "I need the shrimp for his picture."

"Oh, of course." Sighing, Hanatarō slowly stood and trudged toward the door walking past the blue-haired teen and into the living room where they were taking pictures.

"Yo, boss. Who's in the chair?"

"Oh." Keigo slowly turned around facing Grimmjow. The blue-haired teens eyes widened; he recognized the brunet from the cultural festival, he was one of the unconscious people Sado held in his arms. "Grimmjow, this is Asano Keigo-kun our newest seireitei employee."

Grimmjow looked up at Kyōraku. "Really?"

"Really. Just in time for your photo shoot too." Grimmjow unleashed a predatory smirk that made Keigo gulp audibly. "I suggest you use him for January so the customers will get a good feel for him."

"Aye aye chief." Ever so slowly, the taller teen approached then grabbed Keigo's arm. "Come on then." Then he dragged Keigo out of the room while the brunet protested.

Kyōraku sighed. "Sometimes I feel sorry for his peers..."

Outside, Grimmjow dragged Keigo past the cameras and into the kitchen. "I—" Keigo's eyes widened as Grimmjow pressed him against the wall then slammed his hands against said wall mere centimeters from the brunet's face.

"You know Sado, right?" Keigo nodded. "Which means you know Berry."

"Berry? Y-You mean Ichigo?"

Grimmjow slowly lowered his hands. "Smart boy, so I'll just get to the chase. Where does he live? Now keep in mind if you lie to me I'll have to get violent."

Keigo gulped. "H-He lives in the dorms, apartment 2-I of building 200." He pulled the key out of his pocket. "His roommate is my best friend so I have the key." Grimmjow stared at the shimmering item before looking back at Keigo. "I-I can make you a copy if you'd like."

"Who are you harassing?" Keigo's eyes widened as he saw Yumichika standing in the doorway frowning. "Oh, this is one of Yasutora-kun's friends." Yumichika's eyes widened. "Y-You know Ikkaku, don't you?"

"Y-Yes."

"Buzz off, I'm not done talking to him."

"Oh yes you are!" Yumichika stomped forward grabbing Keigo's right hand pulling him away from Grimmjow. "I need him to tell me about Ikkaku, that bastard had the nerve to cancel talking to me. Can you believe that?"

"How do you know?"

"Well I hadn't spoken to him since the cultural festival and his name is erased from my phone which means he canceled!"

"Maybe he just switched to someone else. I mean, that's free isn't it?"

"I don't care!" Yumichika grabbed Keigo by the collar shaking him."Where. Does. Ikkaku. Live!"

"You're just no good with rejection are you?"

"Quiet! If he doesn't have a justifiable reason to stop talking to me I'm raising hell!" Purple eyes turned to brown. "Well?"

"A-Apartment 2-I of building 200."

"Wait! That's the address you gave me." Grimmjow grabbed Yumichika's hand loosing his grip. "Yumi's ex-client is the best friend you were talking about? He shares the dorm with Berry?"

"Who the hell is Berry?"

"Seems like we've both been jilted, by roommates nonetheless."

Yumichika's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"Berry was the client I met at the cultural festival."

"I should hope his name isn't really Berry."

"Well, that's a nickname. His given name is Ichigo." Yumichika blinked. "I'm not bullshitting you. That's what I heard Sado call him when we met."

"Sado... is there anyone he doesn't know?" Yumichika sighed, "okay. Since they're roommates we might as well go together after the photo shoot." He looked at Keigo. "You don't mind taking us, right?" The brunet shook his head. Up close these people were far more frightening than attractive, pissing them off was not a very good idea. Especially when they both started shaking him when he didn't even do anything! "Good."

"Yumi. I got permission from Ukitake-sensei and Yamamoto-san, as long as they agree we can use the Rukongai students! Yumi? Yumichika?"

"Oh for crying out loud... I'm coming Shinji!" Yumichika sighed. "Well, I'll see you guys." He merrily walked off.

"Yumi's a lot scarier than I am when he's pissed so I wouldn't try and run off or anything." Gulping, Keigo nodded. "Great. Now, lets get your picture taken!"

The photo shoot had gone swimmingly, better than anyone would have ever imagined. Each month of the calendar displayed numerous pictures of the employee in question; it also had a detailed description of the employee's personal information ...but nothing too personal.

Kyōraku nodded to himself looking over the unedited calender on his computer. Hanatarō had done all the raw readjusting of the pictures and information and Kyōraku couldn't be prouder of the teen's work this time around (not that he wasn't always proud of Hanatarō's work but this time the teen truly outdid himself); he also had to thank Grimmjow for coming up with this idea in the first place. Then there was Shūhei's idea of selling seireitei products... Kyōraku thought it would be interesting to give away free products with the purchase of a calender but Kyōraku didn't know anyone that might be able to create half of the things seireitei represented. Which wasn't just solely sex but enjoyment overall, even though the two often coincided. He could always get Jūshirō on board, but that was a whole other story.

Flipping through the months Kyōraku sighed in relief. His main concern with the calendar had been July; fortunately it wasn't too explicit so Grimmjow didn't need to be censored. The brunet checked February and September too just to be safe. In fact he checked every single month and nothing was too racy that would start some sort of uproar. Even though seireitei was an explicit website selling nude calenders in public establishments were children and prudes would see them were often frowned upon.

The solo pictures were amazing, but the thing that had Kyōraku floored were the pictures littering the two pages of the month. The solo picture took up most of the top page and the calendar part was on the bottom. The various pictures surrounding the page weren't just of the employee chosen by Grimmjow for their particular month, but other employees were displayed in the pictures ...even those that didn't make the top twelve which shouldn't have been hard as Kyōraku only had twenty-three employees overall, including Keigo's hiring a few minutes ago. In fact, Kyōraku had made a second calender just for the other twelve not chosen just to be fair. He didn't think it would be as popular but at least no one could claim favoritism.

In addition to the second calendar, Kyōraku had created his own seireitei page. (Well, Hanatarō created Kyōraku's seireitei page.) He wasn't the oldest seireitei employee so he stood a chance against some of the younger members. He heard clients say they needed an older man to satisfy their needs and Kyōraku wasn't even thirty yet so he was definitely the man to do it.

Hopefully his popularity would rank in at least a third of the employees on the months of April and July – because he banked on Hanatarō and Grimmjow being his two golden boys for a long time.

Many customers adored Hanatarō's innocence and purity wanting to defile it; in contrast customers wanted to be defiled by Grimmjow – it was really the best of both worlds.

Kyōraku flipped the page to August looking at Renji's picture and froze. He must have subconsciously missed it when he skimmed over the months earlier. The redhead's chest length hair was down framing his face and neck. The tattoos adorning his body were visible with the wet, white, unbuttoned dress shirt he was wearing; the black pants clung to his wet body like a second skin mapping out every grove in his muscular thighs and taut ass.

Kyōraku blinked. Was this really the same Abarai Renji who was pretty much coerced into joining the website four months ago by his loudmouth friends? Kyōraku had a feeling Renji had been holding back his sexiness and now he knew for sure. But this didn't seem to be the full potential behind the redhead either. If the brunet had to guess he'd say Renji was using about forty maybe fifty percent of his overall sex appeal for this picture.

Tapping his finger against the picture, Kyōraku wondered if any of Renji's housemates knew about this. Kyōraku even wondered if Renji himself was aware. If anyone had to at least suspect this hidden ability in the slightest, it had to be Grimmjow – who was the closest to Renji. The redhead had quite the dynamic personality he seemed like a goofy, fun-loving, excitable, loud, short-tempered teen with the stereotypical lust for overly violent video games but he was more composed and level-headed than the rest of his friends, except maybe Starrk.

Renji also didn't care much for self-promoting either, unlike the rest of the employees the only redhead in the website hadn't given a damn about the employee-of-the-month contest and wasn't interested in even being considered.

Kyōraku shook his head. He truly felt sorry for anyone Renji attempted to seduce, that unlucky son of a bitch wouldn't stand a chance.

... ...

"Don't be mistaken Kuchiki-chan, the employee-of-the-month list isn't the same as the overall popularity list."

Rukia nodded. "I see. So you can be the employee of the month without being the most popular employee?"

"What are you doing imouto?" The blond looked up at her silver-haired sister looking down at her. "Kuchiki-chan is getting ready for the tea school."

"W-Wait Isane-nee! I'll see you in class Kuchiki-chan!"

Sighing, Rukia watched her friend Kotetsu Kiyone get dragged away by her older sister Isane. The two girls related and befriended one another because they both had frightening older siblings. However, Isane was nearing the 190cm mark and Byakuya was barely pushing 180cm.

Her brother, father, and grandfather were busy with the tea school so she was stuck in the front – in other words she was bored out of her frigging mind.

Unfortunately, her grandfather had found out about seireitei not only through the bill they mailed her today (which turns out was actually mailed yesterday) but her monthly phone bill. Needless to say her grandfather had been royally pissed when he found out and Rukia had no idea what course of action he would take to reprimand her for this – Rukia thought he'd beat her, or worse, tell her father about it.

Of course she couldn't possibly tell him her actual intentions for purchasing the still nameless host so she just let her grandfather believe it was for her.

"Rukia." Suppressing the urge to sigh, she turned around spotting her father's head in the doorway. "You can open up now we're ready."

"Of course." Nodding, she moved from behind the counter and headed to her respective area to get ready for her class. Ginrei had passed her on the way out but didn't say anything as he took the front. As he was semi-retired from teaching he usually made sure order was kept within the tea school.

"Oi." Rukia froze at the sound of that voice. The noirette quickly hid behind the doorway turning toward the entrance. "My friend got a flier saying something about a tea school and we were curious about it." The blue-haired teen's phone started vibrating. "Uh... hold on a sec. Tell him the stuff Hirako."

"Fine." The blond took a step forward and started talking to Ginrei.

Rukia's eyes widened as she spotted Grimmjow in the corner talking on the phone to someone. This was the first time she had seen him up close and she wasn't disappointed. Unfortunately, Renji wasn't amongst the blue-haired teen's companions. Rukia paused. If they were here for the tea school then they would be taught by Byakuya.

"Aw fuck." Grimmjow growled closing his phone. Ginrei and the rest of the teens stared at him. "Oh, no. Don't mind me." He shoved his hands into his pockets mumbling under his breath.

"Follow me guys~" The blond sing-songed heading toward Byakuya's class. "Oh. What time does this class end?" He asked Ginrei.

"The classes usually last anywhere from an hour to two-and-a-half hours."

"Oh... then we should have an addition within the next half hour if that's alright."

"Of course." The blond nodded at Ginrei then jogged up to the others before they all disappeared to Byakuya's classroom.

* * *

*A freeter is a person between the ages of fifteen and thirty-four who lack full time employment or are unemployed, excluding housewives and students.


	5. 5: To Each Rose His Own Thorns

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction, that's why I stay up until two in the morning writing.

_A/N: Before I get any complaints... both Ukitake & Kenpachi's eyes are green. Check the colored pages of the manga or bleach wikia if you don't believe me. It has come to my attention that Ukitake, apparently, does not appear in this chapter nor is he even mentioned but I don't feel like mentioning it again next chapter which (spoiler alert) he will be in. I guess its also a spoiler stating Kenpachi is in this chapter.  
_

_Oh, 183cm = 6ft exactly  
_

* * *

"_There is no gathering the rose without being pricked by the thorns."  
-Pilpay_

* * *

Renji sighed. He got called into work during the photo shoot so he told Grimmjow and the others that he would meet them at the tea school as he was only supposed to work for three hours – which he already completed over an hour ago.

"Ah! Abarai! I fucking love you man!" Renji squawked as he was bear hugged by his co-worker Redder Abirama. Abirama was an enthusiastic being, always hugging or fighting his co-workers while shouting. It didn't matter where he was or what he was doing he was always shouting, and the most amazing thing was that he never lost his voice. Because their initials were inverted (AR to RA), they were often mistaken for one another by customers and occasionally screwed with some by wearing each other's name-tags.

Finally, he released the oddly enough taller teen. "Are you heading to that tea school thing too?" Popping his joints back into place Renji nodded. "I heard Vega was heading there too, you might wanna go together."

"What about me?" Renji turned toward the shorter, surprisingly older teen. Vega Ggio was both an employee of the convenience store and seireitei like Renji so they were on good terms even though Grimmjow didn't like him for some reason or another but then again there were very few people Grimmjow actually liked.

"Abarai is heading to the tea school too."

"Ah." The black-haired teen nodded. "I'll go with you. Boss says I clock out in five, wait for me okay?" Renji nodded then Vega walked off.

"Damn! I just remembered you know Ayasegawa on a personal level, right?" The redhead nodded slowly. "Do you think you can put in a good word for me?" Renji stared at the black-haired teen. He could already picture Yumichika's response.

His roommate would huff in that haughty way he does then say: _"Are you off your rocker? Me go out with that neanderthal! Why don't you just ask me to shave my head or grow a beard? That's some seriously messed up shit man..."_

Renji shook his head. "I-I'll see what I can do."

"I'm not paying you kids to talk." Renji and Abirama turned toward their boss. Louisenbaim Baraggan was the owner of this Las Noches convenience store and all its chains around Japan. He was known as the king of convenience because of it and he demanded his employees call him the king. "Abarai, you're still here?"

"Uh..."

"Its my fault." Abirama bowed. "I was watching some porn and lost track of time." Renji facepalmed, these were the cases in which honesty _wasn't_ the best policy. "But it was really, really good—"

Baraggan held a hand up silencing the teen. "Thank you. As you are clearly standing here, Abarai can go and tell Vega he can go too."

"Understood."

"Oh, and Abarai?" The redhead turned around raising an eyebrow. "As a friend of Shun-chan I must say those pictures of you are quite sexy. Keep it up."

Blushing, Renji mumbled a thank you then hastily clocked out grabbing Ggio and exiting the store. "Um, what pictures?"

"If you thought that porn you were watching was good you'll have to think twice after seeing the pictures of Abarai I received today."

Abirama whistled. "I always thought he was sexy... but I think Ayasegawa is sexier."

"I'll let you be the judge of that. Put the sign on the door and come to my office."

After locking the front door and putting up the _'back in fifteen minutes or so...'_ sign, Abirama eagerly trotted to Baraggan's office. The only times the employees were let in the office was when they were getting chewed out by the old man, which was more often than any of them would have liked. He saw his fellow co-worker Kira Izuru seated on the other side of the boss; the blond was a gloomy bastard and being around him made you gloomy too so the often energetic Abirama hated being put on the schedule with him but he couldn't defy the boss' orders.

"The deed has been done." Abirama replied before taking his seat.

"Wonderful. Now keep in mind these photos aren't re-touched or edited or anything. They're straight from the camera." Baraggan turned the computer on and opened the file that said '_from Shun-chan.' _As soon as he opened the file a window with Kyōraku's face popped up.

"Hiya Baraggan-san!"

"Oh, Shun-chan, I was just showing the boys the pictures you sent me earlier."

"Ooh. Well let me know what you think of them?" Baraggan nodded then opened the file. The beauty about these face chat things was that they normally didn't slow down your computer unless you were doing about twenty things at once.

Kira's normally dull blue eyes widened as soon as he saw the picture of Renji. He and the redhead had gotten along well, he didn't constantly try to make Kira smile or talk to him but the blond found himself doing those things naturally around his co-worker. There wasn't a person on the payroll that would say Renji wasn't attractive, but sexy wasn't something any of them would put in association with the redhead. But _this_... this picture was sexy and what's more Kira wasn't even sure if Renji knew it what he was capable of.

Abirama whistled. "Fuck, I'm getting hard from just looking at it. How much for one of those calenders Kyōraku-san?"

"They're not for sale yet Redder-kun." Sighing, the taller slumped back into his seat. "But... I'll let you have a copy of the picture."

"Yes!" Abirama pumped his fist into the air. "How about you Kira, want one?"

The blond stared at his co-worker before looking at Kyōraku in the computer and nodded slowly. "Okay, but don't tell Renji-kun I gave these to you... don't tell Hanatarō-kun either."

"Oh, speaking of Yamada, do you have pictures of him too?"

"Why yes I do. Care to see them?"

"Hell yeah!" Abirama licked his lips. "Show us everything you got Kyōraku-san."

"Say, Redder-kun, you wouldn't be interested in working for seireitei ...would you?"

… ...

Rukia kept sneaking glances inside Byakuya's classroom and she didn't spot hide or hair of the redhead. An entire forty-five minutes had passed since Grimmjow and the others were inside. The blue-haired teen looked especially uncomfortable seated seiza-style even though Starrk was taller than him he didn't look as though he was in as much pain.

The class seemed to be enamored with the way Byakuya was making tea. All of their eyes were on the nineteen-year-old's hands mixing the tea together. Rukia heard the front door clatter open and nearly jumped out of her skin.

A teen with strikingly bright orange hair approached Ginrei. "Sorry..." He wheezed. "Tea... heard..."

"Don't worry about it. We're not expecting everyone to be punctual the first day but Kuchiki-senpai won't tolerate interruptions during his class." The redhead gulped. "Go right in."

"Told you this was a bad idea." The bald teen commented walking toward the door with his hands behind his head.

"Don't be such an ass Ikkaku." The female black-haired teen commented punching the bald teen in the arm. She bowed at Ginrei. "I apologize for my friend's idiocy."

The bald teen, now identified as Ikkaku, growled. Hiding behind the doorway Rukia's eyes widened. She recognized him from the cultural festival he seemed to be running away from the skirt clad Ayasegawa-san.

"So..." The bespectacled redhead read the name plate on the desk. "Kuchiki-sama, where will be be seated?"

"Well the males will be taught by our own iemoto, my grandson Byakuya. The females will be taught by my son Sōjun, but as we don't get that many teenage girls you'll be in the class with the housewives and older women." The two girls jaws dropped.

"Are you serious?" Everyone turned toward the doorway where a purple-haired teen and green-haired teen were standing. "We have to be taught with some old housewives?" The purple-haired girl sighed putting her hands on her hips. "That sucks."

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. I am Dokugamine Riruka." She announced proudly. "I came with my associate Kuna Mashiro to attend your tea school." She curtsied and Rukia rolled her eyes.

"I see. Well you four will take the door to the right into the last classroom in the hall and the men will take the first classroom on the door to the left." Nodding, everyone split up heading to their classrooms.

Rukia managed to hide herself from the boys who were too busy talking amongst each other to see her. As Kiyone was apart of the tea school she was teaching Rukia's class while Rukia scoped out her brother's class.

She nonchalantly walked into an unoccupied room as the girls walked toward their destination, the Riruka girl complaining the entire time ...until she actually got into the room. Rukia sighed walking back into the hallway as the coast was clear. If people thought her brother was attractive, it was only natural that the bearer of the genes would be found attractive as well.

Sōjun stared at the four girls standing by the door bowing. "G-Greeting Kuchiki-sama!" They greeted simultaneously, hiding their blushes, not bothering to look at his face. "We're here to be taught the ways of the tea school."

Rukia rose an eyebrow as she stood partially hidden in the doorway. She saw people seize up when they spoke to her father before, but it was quite a sight watching the two duos of girls, who just met in the doorway, recite the same line at the same time. Shrugging, the eighteen-year-old headed toward the direction of her brother's class ...at least she tried to but Kiyone grabbed her by the collar of her kimono.

"Dammit Rukia, I can't teach those brats by myself!" The blond hissed. "Now get in here before I sell you out!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh I wouldn't, would I?"

Rukia glared at the blond then sighed. "Alright, fine!" Grumbling under her breath, Rukia begrudgingly dragged herself into the classroom.

As expected, the brats were running around crashing their tea cups into each other shattering them. The only possible good thing about the class was she didn't have to handle the cleanup and the kids usually tired themselves out before the class was over.

As Rukia took a seat near at her desk alongside Kiyone she stared at the chaos unfolding. "Hey!" Kiyone yelled. "If you don't stop yelling I'm going to get the iemoto on you!"

The children immediately stiffened and sat seiza-style on the mat. "That's better."

"Why haven't we thought of that before?" Rukia facepalmed then shook her head. "They're terrified of aniki!"

"I'm not sure why we never thought of it." Kiyone folded her arms over her chest nodding to herself, "but if we use it too much it might not be as effective."

"You may be right, on the other hand it might scar them for life." The two teens glanced at one another then smiled menacingly at the children who audibly gulped.

… ...

Ichigo sighed as he, Chad, Mizuiro, and Ikkaku along with several other guys stood against the wall each holding a bucket of water in each hand while balancing several books on their head and shoulders. This 'sensei' was a complete sadist for making them do this just for being a few minutes too _late on the first day;_ to be fair the old man did warn them that his grandson didn't tolerate latecomers and the attractive bastard sure knew how to issue a punishment! The redhead felt like he was back in junior high school, he'd remember how Keigo's loudmouth and his short temper always got them outside of the classroom with the damn buckets or something even heavier.

But even holding his buckets wasn't nearly as bad as being in the same room as Grimmjow. Ichigo couldn't remember much of their 'date' on the count of being drunk out of his mind, but if that smug look the blue-haired teen was sporting was any indication Ichigo was in for some deep shit. Fortunately, Kuchiki-sensei didn't allow talking in the class so they hadn't gotten an opportunity to talk. It was more of a school than a tea school here and for once Ichigo was glad to be in school.

With a 'social' drinking friend/roommate like Ikkaku, Ichigo normally partook in the consumption of alcohol, and no matter how many drinking games they played he didn't get drunk; not that he was a heavyweight drinker like Ikkaku or surprisingly Keigo, but he and Tatsuki were right in the middle so they fared reasonably well. Chad conveniently wasn't around whenever they played those types of games so no one knew how much (or little) he could take in.

The only other time Ichigo got dead drunk to the point of not remembering was that fateful night six years ago that resulted in the loss of both his and Uryū's 'innocence,' in fact the only reason why he knew that happened was because it happened in Uryū's dad's office ...where hoards of cameras were stationed. It was pretty mortifying to have your very own sex tape mailed to your home enclosed with a letter accompanied by a bill. Needless to say Ichigo's father had been royally pissed ...not only did his son lose his virginity in the most unromantic and unorthodox way imaginable but he had to pay for it ..._literally!_Ichigo had been both grounded and banned from seeing Uryū for an entire year! Which sucked even more since they weren't in the same class that year.

Ichigo glanced to the left where the door slowly opened. A redhead slowly and inconspicuously crept into the room and took a seat behind Grimmjow while Kuchiki-sensei was busy making a new batch of tea; the teen behind him wasn't so lucky as he tripped on the tatami and hit the floor face first.

Gray eyes darted toward the newcomer who slowly stood up gulping. "Who are you?" Byakuya asked getting up. He might have been the iemoto, but seiza took its toll on anyone's legs regardless of how many times they did it.

Amber eyes widened. "I'm Vega Ggio." He bowed as Byakuya got closer.

"Well Vega-kun, I do not tolerate tardiness in my class." The rest of the class was glued on the scene about to unfold. More than half of the class already got quite the tongue-lashing from the nineteen-year-old but were more interested in seeing it happen to someone else. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Ggio glanced at Renji, unfortunately as he was seated behind Grimmjow the blue-haired teen was caught in Ggio's line of sight. Blue eyes met amber and Grimmjow who slowly shook his head then cracked his knuckles mouthing his rather explicit threat toward the shorter teen. Being exactly one month older than Renji, Grimmjow often acted as the pseudo big brother toward the taller redhead; he also did this occasionally with Yumichika who was seated next to him.

Ggio wasn't an idiot, he already knew – for unknown reasons (though if he _had _to guess it must have had something to do with his closeness and co-employment with Renji...in both jobs) – that Grimmjow hated him, betraying Renji just so he won't get punished alone wouldn't make things better. Besides, he had a genuine friendship with the redhead and wasn't about to fuck that up. "N-No sensei."

Byakuya sighed, "join the others on the wall." Scowling, the black-haired teen walked over to the end of the wall near the door picked up the buckets just sitting on the floor and held them up like the others.

As Byakuya was walking back to his station Keigo popped up behind the still opened door. Ichigo's eyes widened not expecting to see the brunet since no one could contact him prior to getting this invitation to the tea school. Not only did Keigo close the door behind him, but he crept into the room and sat next to the redhead without making a sound. Ichigo couldn't say he was all that surprised though, Keigo was often late to class during their high school years (and even now) and mastered the art of sneaking into classrooms without the teacher knowing or realizing. He could probably teach a class on it.

Byakuya continued to make the tea oblivious to the two new unpunished newcomers.

"What's going on?" Renji asked whispering.

"Not much. Sensei's just informing us of the proper etiquette then kept making tea because Yumichika keeps spilling it."

"I'm sorry!" Said teen hissed, "its more delicate than I am!"

Byakuya looked up and Renji, who realized as the only red-haired person in the room he would be spotted out easily, hid behind Grimmjow. Because of Keigo's height he easily hid behind Yumichika without much effort, not that he was too concerned with getting caught because he rarely registered a presence around so many taller, and in this case – scarier looking people.

"We'll officially start the school tomorrow so tell all of your friends who weren't able to make it if they are interested in attending. Holding up buckets isn't the only form of punishment I will administer to those who aren't punctual." The class gulped. "The class will also be longer. Ayasegawa-kun..."

"Y-Yes?"

"Try and be more careful next class." He nodded slowly. "You are dismissed." As soon as he turned his back Renji was the first out the door. The rest of the class exited in a single file fashion, the students unfortunate enough to hold the buckets for the majority of the class were the last to leave groaning in pain because of their sore arms.

Once they left the building Grimmjow locked his hands behind his head. "Sensei may be strict as fuck but he's hot. I can't fucking wait for tomorrow."

Yumichika rose an eyebrow. "Since when did you start referring to people with honorifics?"

"Look man, I'm not carrying any buckets I've done enough of that in high school. I'll lick his damn sandals if he asks me too."

Yumichika turned to the sole redhead of the group. "Um, Renji, how come you were so late?"

"Abirama was late. Incidentally he asked me to put in a good word with you."

"A good word? What do you—"

"He means the big guy wants to fuck your brains out." Starrk added.

Wide-eyed Yumichika glanced between Renji and Starrk. "Wha—?" He shuddered. "Eww, I'd rather go bald than be in the same room alone with that neanderthal let alone let him _fuck _me! Shit Renji why didn't you just sell my soul? I mean, have you gone off your rocker!" He huffed. "Seriously. That's some messed up shit man!"

"But... you seem to have a thing for bald—" Yumichika elbowed Grimmjow in the stomach.

"Anyways, I'm fucking hungry man lets get something to eat."

"Ooh!" Shinji interjected. "I know this great place that has a sale on takoyaki!"

"Sounds great!" Grimmjow grabbed Renji as he was walking stopping him, "did you see Berry leaning against the wall?"

"Who the hell is Berry?"

Grimmjow sighed. "My ex-client from the cultural festival?" Renji gave the blue-haired teen a pointed albeit confused stare. "We spoke and somewhat flirted over the phone when you spoke to sensei's little sister?" Renji still stared. "Dude! The orange-haired guy who puked all over the maid cafe?"

"Ah! Yeah, he made you nauseous and bitchy right?" Grimmjow smacked Renji's forehead. "What the hell was that for?"

"Listen. Turns out he and the guy Yumi is obsessed with are roommates. Our newest little edition to the seireitei nakama is an inside man." Renji rose an eyebrow, "he knows them both on a personal level. I was planning on going over there today but since we have 'class' tomorrow I'll corner him then."

"Cue evil laugh and rubbing hands together maniacally?"

Grimmjow smirked, "oh you bet!" The blue-haired rubbed his hands together and cackled loudly as he walked off with the others. Shaking his head, Renji reluctantly caught up to the others as well.

…...

The next day Yumichika checked his appearance in front of his full body mirror. One of the first things Byakuya stated was that everyone needed to be wearing a kimono or they wouldn't even get inside his classroom. Class wasn't for another few hours but it didn't hurt to get ready in advanced. All of Yumichika's kimonos were rather ...flashy and he was certain Byakuya would rip him a new one if he showed up in something like that. He already cost the tea school several hundred yen in new flavored tea, Yumichika didn't need another reason to get scolded. While he hoped to save his seireitei earnings on other things he had to settle on purchasing a new, plain purple kimono. When you were the shortest person in a house full of freakishly tall, perverted idiots that were over the 183cm mark and a good twenty centimeters taller than you borrowing clothing was hard. The idiot trio (i.e. Starrk, Renji, and Grimmjow) were always borrowing each other's clothes as they were around the same size; even though Renji was technically the tallest, which -in reality- wasn't even a full two centimeters higher than Starrk.

Shinji might not have been as tall as the rest of them but even he was a good seven or eight centimeters too big; Yumichika wouldn't have minded borrowing something from him despite the fact that the blond had no fashion sense. Unfortunately the idiot's clothing hadn't come yet from wherever the hell he spent the last year so he had to buy a new kimono too; apparently the one he wore during the cultural festival had somehow gotten destroyed.

Yumichika scowled at the long reddish-brown gash running up his left leg. Those stupid, rowdy bitches marred his perfect skin! He'd kick each and every one of their asses if it wouldn't get him expelled. Class was pretty much over minus exams because everyone was getting busy preparing for the new year in three weeks but that didn't mean those bastards from the student government weren't ready to get 'troublemakers like him' in trouble with Yamamoto-sensei.

Sighing, he stuck his head out of the bathroom door. His roommates might have been idiots but they knew better than to mess with his beautifying time ...not that he needed much beautifying – being this good looking was natural, either you had it or you didn't. Still, it took a little time to make sure the beauty was kept up to perfection.

"Renji?" The redhead turned around as Yumichika crooked his finger toward him. "I need help with my bandage."

The redhead walked into the bathroom pulling out the first aid kit. "Hey!" Grimmjow stuck his head into the bathroom. "Before we head to the tea school the old man said he had a surprise for us."

"Kyōraku-san?"

"What? No, not that old man. Tōsen."

"Oh..." Yumichika and Renji sighed dejectedly as Grimmjow disappeared again.

Yumichika sighed once more as Renji skillfully wrapped his leg. The redhead was always wrapping up his own body because he spent most of his non working time in the apartment building's resident fitness center or some other gym. With the beautiful bandaging no one would be able to see the horrid scar on his leg.

"There, good as new." Renji said patting the bandaged appendage for emphasis.

"Thanks. I guess we better see what the old man wants before his blind ass stalks the neighborhood looking for us."

…...

The Hueco Mundo Dojo wasn't just an ordinary location to kick some local or even foreign ass. Tōsen Kaname was badass, he was a blind swordsman and bare handed fighter. Grimmjow and the others may not have liked him but they sure as hell respected him; well, his skills anyway. He taught them everything, almost everything, they knew about fighting and regularly kicked their asses whenever they stopped by.

As soon as Grimmjow and the others walked past Tōsen's office he stepped out of it shaking his head. "Its rather odd that when you four are no longer students here you show up on time."

"Tōsen-sensei." Yumichika began, "its nice to s—" Grimmjow elbowed him. "What? Oh!" He scratched his cheek. "Uh, how's it going sensei?"

"Its fine Ayasegawa, all things considered." Yumichika sighed in relief. "I wanted my most promising students to meet the new sensei in charge of this dojo."

"Say what? You're retiring sensei?" Grimmjow, Shinji, Renji, Starrk, and Yumichika simultaneously asked.

Tōsen nodded. "I am certain I am leaving the Hueco Mundo in Zaraki-san's capable hands."

"Uh, I'm sorry, did you say Zaraki?" Starrk asked causing everyone to look at him.

"That's right, why?"

"Zaraki. The same guy that who effortlessly defeated the entire yakuza of the northern Karakura district single-handed? The strongest man alive and current international sake drinking champion? That Zaraki?"

Grimmjow whistled. "Sounds impressive."

"It should, you're working with him." Grimmjow stared at Shinji before shrugging in agreement.

"I'm sure those are nothing more than falsely spread rumors. Stay here as I go and get him." Tōsen walked toward his office and Yumichika nudged Starrk.

"Who the hell spreads rumors about defeating the yakuza?" Eyes widening, Yumichika shrieked latching onto Starrk.

"I could get used to this."

"What's the matter...?" Grimmjow looked down at the tiny pink-haired girl looking back at him. "Who the hell are you?"

"The name's Zaraki. Who the hell are you?"

Renji, Starrk, Yumichika, and Shinji all looked down at the girl. "Zaraki?"

She nodded. "That's right."

"I'm Grimmjow, the assistant sensei here."

"Is that so?" Grimmjow nodded. "Say have you guys seen Ken-chan anywhere? Poor guy has a really horrible sense of direction."

Yumichika reluctantly let go of Starrk crouching down to the girl's level. "You little pervert, you grabbed my ass then felt me up!"

"Oh did I?" Yumichika's left eye twitched. "You were just so pretty I had to make sure you weren't a doll."

Yumichika blushed slightly. "Oh well... _hey_! That doesn't excuse you! If I were to grab your ass I'd be the one thrown in jail!"

"Relax. I'll give you something to make up for it."

"Huh?" Yumichika stared at the four feathers now in the girl's hand. "What—" The pink-haired girl happily placed the two red feathers on his right eyebrow and the yellow ones on his right eye.

"There!"

"They actually kinda suit you..." Starrk, Shinji, and Renji tilted their heads at Yumichika as he slowly stood. He produced a hand mirror out of his left pocket, opened it, then glanced at himself. True to what Grimmjow said, or Shinji – he really wasn't listening, but the feathers seemed to showcase his beauty even more and they weren't that flashy so he could probably wear them in tea school and regular school.

Beaming, Yumichika picked up the girl. "Thanks."

"Geez Yumi, fickle much?" The black-haired teen stuck his tongue out at Starrk. "I'll put that thing to good use if you don't put it away."

Blushing, Yumichika retracted his tongue. "Hey, isn't that the second time someone said something like that you over the course of two weeks?"

Seething, Yumichika turned to his idiotic blue-haired companion. "Idiot, you were the first!"

Grimmjow scratched his head. "Oh yeah..."

"Hey, let me get in on it too!" Yumichika kicked the blond.

"So, what's your name?" Yumichika brought the girl down to his eye level.

"Yumichika."

"And what about wavy hair, red, and the one you just kicked?"

"Uh... Starrk, Renji, and Shinji."

"So its whiskers, tats, scarecrow, and fangs?"

Shinji pointed to himself, "s-scarecrow?"

"I must be fangs then." Grimmjow said nodding to himself, "can't say I don't like it."

"Yachiru, what are you doing?"

"Oh, its Ken-chan!" The five teens watched as the pink-haired girl eagerly wriggled out of Yumichika's grip to run over to the newcomer slowly walking over to them. "Hiya! I was talking to Yun-Yun!" Yumichika's jaw dropped at the nickname. "See? I gave him the pretty feathers we found the other day."

"If that's what you want its fine." Green eyes glanced up at the eighteen-year-old. The scary looking newcomer approached the group. "The name's Zaraki, I suppose I should thank you for taking care of Yachiru for a while. That pain in the ass Tōsen can't stand to be near her."

"Wait, you're Zaraki-sensei?" The spiky haired man glanced at Grimmjow.

"You must be Jaegerjaquez? Tōsen has a lot of good things to say about you, surprisingly. But, I couldn't give a rat's ass about his opinion. I'll test your strength for myself!"

"Sweet!" Yachiru ran over to Yumichika and the others grabbing the black-haired teen's hand. "Come on, once Ken-chan gets going there's no stopping him."

"Funny... Grimmjow's the same way."

Once they were a somewhat safe distance from Grimmjow and Zaraki the two lunged toward one another. "W-Wait, Grimmjow we have to be at the tea school in thirty minutes!"

"Huh?" The second the blue-haired teen glanced at Yumichika, Zaraki sent him flying across the gym sliding in front of Yumichika and the others.

As Starrk, Renji, and Shinji helped Grimmjow up Yumichika slowly turned to Yachiru. "so... Yachiru-chan? Is Zaraki-sensei your father?"

"Hmm... I guess you could say that. He found me in an alley when I was little, I saw how strong he was when he fought some thugs and we've been together ever since!" Yumichika's right eye twitched as she beamed at him.

"Damn, just one hit sent me flying? I think I'm in love~"

"Dude!"

"So, kid, you're attached to strong guys?" Yachiru turned to Starrk nodding. "Then why are you hanging off Yumi?"

"I like pretty things too." Yumichika facepalmed. "Hey fangs, if you and Ken-chan really want to go at it without any distractions I suggest you come back tonight when class is done. Your friends might want to be witnesses... or assistants to get you home safely."

Grimmjow smirked attempting to steady himself. Just one hit by that giant completely screwed his entire equilibrium... then again he did get hit in the head. "I think I'll do that."

"Good. You'll be in for a real fight..." Yachiru's eyes lit up. "Ooh! I just thought of something else even more fun to do before that, the best part is all of you can do it!" The rest of the group exchanged questionable glances.

"Well, we gotta head to the fucking tea school now." The blue-haired teen turned to Zaraki giving him the two-fingered salute. "Sensei, I'll be back to return that ass kicking you just handed me."

"Of course. But you should know, holding back isn't my style kid so I might just hand that ass kicking back to you."

Grimmjow's smirk broadened. "Well—"

"Lets go!" Yumichika pushed the blue-haired out the door. "Nice meeting you sensei. Yachiru-chan!" The other three wordlessly followed Grimmjow and Yumichika.

"Kenny, lets go to the tea school with Yun-Yun!"

…...

"Are you sure its okay to be here Baraggan-sama?" Kira glanced around his surroundings before turning to the old man. This tea school was so popular that Baraggan actually closed the store down in order to check it out, and because of that here the blond was stuck – this technically counted as a work day so bailing meant he wouldn't get paid; especially since they had to go back to Las Noches when the tea school was over.

"You'll get to see Abarai-chan in a kimono." Kira blushed slightly. "Preferably one loose fitting."

The blond sighed, he almost wished he hadn't seen those pictures of Renji yesterday. He didn't think he could look at Renji the same way anymore or dango... especially when there was a video clip of Renji popping the dumpling in his mouth in a way that would make the most skilled prostitutes and oral experts jealous; the worst part was he wasn't aware he was being recorded until the end. So, in short, Renji was – without a doubt – a bonafide natural being of walking (or eating?) sex, but the redhead had this subconscious habit of diminishing this effect around others.

Abirama happily rocked back and forth on the balls and heels of his feet. Kira sighed again, of course Abirama wouldn't act any differently around Renji because of the pictures... he'd carry on like it was nothing.

"Baraggan-sama this tea school is no laughing matter. Kuchiki-sensei is as strict as they come."

"Shit Vega, what did he make you do?"

"Well I was late so he made me hold buckets... like it was high school or something!"

"At least he didn't make you write 'I will not be late' on the chalkboard or anything. Though I would find that funny." Ggio rolled his eyes. "Wait... you said you were late? Wasn't Abarai with you?"

Ggio sighed. "Yes. He managed to sneak in undetected, I – on the other hand – fell flat on my face." Abirama burst out laughing. "To make matters worse someone _else_ managed to sneak in the class undetected not even five minutes before class ended."

"You need stealth lessons man, I'll fucking teach you."

"I doubt someone with your absurd level of loudness knows shit about stealth."

"Care to make a bet?"

"Fine. Kira be the witness, okay?" Sighing the blond nodded. The two black-haired teens shook hands smirking at one another. "We should make this more interesting, wouldn't you agree?"

"What do you have in mind?" Smirking, Ggio whispered the conditions of the bet in Abirama's ear. "Hell yeah! I'm so in!" They shook hands. "Did you get that Kira?"

"Uh, no?"

"What do we do now?"

"He saw us shaking hands, I'm sure that's fine."

Abirama shrugged. "Okay. Ooh! Its Kyōraku-san!"

Kira stared at the brunet walking toward Baraggan; this was the first time the blond had seen Kyōraku in person – then again the first time he saw him in general was yesterday through web-cam.

"You came Baraggan-san." The old man nodded. "Oh, you brought your employees too? You know that Kuchiki-san's students are between the ages of seventeen and twenty, right?"

"I'm merely observing. Unlike you..." Kyōraku pouted, "I spoke to all the Kuchiki's beforehand and am merely observing the classes as I used to be a student when Ginrei-san taught."

"Aren't you older than him?" Baraggan glared at Kyōraku who averted his eyes. "A-Anyway, I think I'll go talk to ...someone." Bowing, the brunet walked off.

"Hey, Renji, aren't those the losers you work with?"

The voice was almost as obvious as Abirama's, if that was even possible, but Jaegerjaquez had a distinct voice that usually held a level of superiority and arrogance.

"He's right..." The responding voice wasn't as obvious as Jaegerjaquez's but as Kira heard it several times it was clearly distinct. The wavy-haired teen jerked his head toward their direction then Kira realized his worst fear, at the moment, had come true as Renji peered in front of him with a very loose fitting kimono that showed off some of his sculptured, yet thankfully bandaged, chest. The rest of his little nakama were right behind him.

"Hey Kira."

"H-Hey Abarai." Fortunately, the blond was able to keep the blood from pooling around his face at being in such proximity to the redhead.

"Abarai!" Abirama cried latching onto the redhead. "Work is so boring without you!"

"Can't..._breathe_!"

The black-haired teen reluctantly released the taller teen. "Hey man..." Grimmjow began, "shouldn't you be fawning for Yumi instead of Renji?"

"Huh?" He glanced to the side at Yumichika hiding behind Starrk. "Oh... well I prefer Abarai now, besides we work together and talk and shit."

"What? You think Renji is hotter than I am?"

Starrk looked over his shoulder at the shorter teen. "Shouldn't you be relieved that he isn't interested in you anymore, or is that rejection thing you're still not used to?"

"Oh shut up!" Grumbling under his breath, Yumichika stomped over to Abirama. "You... you, Red something, think Renji's hotter than I am? Am I unapproachable or something?"

"No. Don't get me wrong Ayasegawa-san, I still think you're hot... but recent ...events have convinced me that Abarai is hotter."

"What recent events?"

"Oh!" Everyone turned to Ggio, "he must be talking about the pic—" Kira covered his mouth sighing.

"Pic...pictures! Wait, pictures?" Renji, Grimmjow, Starrk, Shinji, and Yumichika looked around at each other scratching their heads in confusion.

"What pictures?" With Kira still covering Ggio's mouth everyone turned toward Hanatarō and Kensei standing in the doorway wearing kimonos.

"Yes, Vega..." Grimmjow cracked his knuckles turning back to the shorter teen. "What pictures?"

Sighing once more Kira released Ggio's mouth, there was no way the blond was going down when he didn't even want to see the pictures in the first place – not that he regretted it, aside from the fact that it made it difficult to face Renji without thinking of something naughty.

"Yeah... tell them Redder-kun." As Ggio started whistling lowly the group turned their attention toward Abirama.

"Oh for crying out loud, you damn brats nowadays..." Baraggan sighed. "Shun-chan sent me some pictures from the seireitei website for the upcoming calender and I showed them to Redder and Kira, I'm certain Redder then showed the pictures to Vega and maybe some of the other employees."

"Kyōraku-san said he wasn't going to release the pictures to the public until after Christmas!" Hanatarō sighed, "I knew I should have kept them in my flash-drive."

"Wait a minute..." Starrk began earning everyone's attention, "some of the seireitei pictures made the guy who had a thing for Yumi now pine after Renji? Must have been some pictures."

"Oh they were."

Everyone glanced at Renji skeptically, the redhead in turn blinked at them thoroughly confused. "W-What?"

"Its time for class so everyone take a seat." The students scrambled into random spots, and a few managed to sneak into the classroom. Byakuya closed the door then headed toward his spot next to Baraggan who was in the 'observatory spot' near the iemoto's station. While walking, Byakuya spotted that familiar clump of bright red hair that he couldn't miss if he tried, the nineteen-year-old thought he saw a glimpse of it yesterday but his brain might have just been playing tricks on him.

As he continued his walk their eyes met. Byakuya saw something flash in those brown eyes but kept walking; it wouldn't do any good for him to get distracted before class began, he was the teacher after all.

Just as Byakuya was about to sit down the door slid open, "Late... I'm not, am I?" The black-haired teen glanced at the panting teen, shook his head, then sat down.

Sighing in relief, Ichigo took the only available space on the tatami – which unfortunately happened to be at the back of the left side of the room ...next to Grimmjow. Swearing internally, Ichigo sat eying the now smirking blue-haired teen. Sighing once more he glanced at the right side of the room then nearly groaned out loud.

At the front of the room, like the good little boy he was, his ex Ishida Uryū sat next to Chad. It wasn't as though Ichigo could be too upset at his best friend, Chad and Uryū were friends even if the bastard four-eyes broke up with him. Ichigo wasn't petty, he wasn't going to cut ties with Chad (or anyone) if they still hung out with Uryū. Hell, Ichigo himself didn't mind being near Uryū but the others – who didn't really like the bespectacled teen anyway – went through great lengths to keep the two apart. Still, it had been two whole weeks since their break-up. Normally they took breaks and whatever but they never broke up; and even during those breaks they would have gotten together, staged some incredible make-up sex, then split and make up all over again... but for some reason Ichigo wasn't all that eager to get back into a relationship with Uryū. He hadn't been single since he was twelve and was somewhat curious about the prospect of not being in a roller coaster of a relationship. Though Ichigo doubted that he'd be able to refuse Uryū if he asked him out again. Damn his weak heart and ever forgiving libido!

Keigo was seated at the other side of the room waving at the redhead who waved back. According to Ikkaku, Keigo started working at seireitei yesterday which was good since the brunet was about a stone's throw away from getting kicked out of the school for not being able to pay for tuition and his parents were fed up with his average often borderline abysmal grades and no longer supported their youngest child and only son in his pursuit of higher learning.

Speaking of Ikkaku, Ichigo spotted Yumichika at the front of the class. Kuchiki-sensei probably made the teen sit there to prevent him from spilling anything else. Ichigo suspected something had happened between the two of them because Ikkaku was in a particularly pissy mood ever since the cultural festival, but even as his roommate Ichigo couldn't find out anything; of course there was a fifty-fifty chance that Keigo knew but he was probably sworn to secrecy as the de facto best friend of Ikkaku.

"Its nice to see all of you in kimonos, now lets see what you remember from yesterday."

Keigo rose his hand and Byakuya nodded in acknowledgment. "Um, sensei, what if you weren't here yesterday?"

"Then you'll learn something new. Now, Ayasegawa-kun, a chakin would be?"

The black-haired teen frowned. After spilling all that damn tea yesterday Yumichika would have been surprised if he didn't get called out several times during class. "A small _rectangular_ cloth used to wipe the tea bowls?" He smiled awkwardly then sighed in relief as Byakuya nodded.

"We're going to practice pouring the tea today—"

The fusuma slid open, "I'm sorry I'm late." The class stared at Byakuya narrowing his eyes at the newcomer then stared at the newcomer. "Don't give me that look Bya-chan." Horrified, the students looked back at Byakuya who facepalmed.

"Oh, Byakuya." Sōjun's head stuck in the door next to the newcomer. "Rose-chan is going to teach with you since you have such a large class." And just like that he was gone.

The students, still horrified, continued to stare at the blond as he closed the door then walked toward Byakuya. He turned to the class bowing. "Bonjour, Je m'appelle Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō but you may refer to me as Rose." He turned to Byakuya. "Did you teach them how to bow?"

"Not yet."

"Oh, I see." Byakuya narrowed his eyes again. "Do you mind if I take a crack at it? Or better yet, we'll divide the class into two and see who teaches better. Just like a competition from the old days." The blond winked at Byakuya who sighed and shook his head.

"Okay! The left side of the class will be taught by me and the right will be taught by Kuchiki-sensei~!"

"Your father certainly knows how to fuck things up Byakuya-kun." Baraggan shook his head, "you didn't do anything to piss him off lately did you?"

"Nothing I can think of."

"Hmm... interesting."

"Psst!" Grimmjow whispered to Renji who was seated beside him leaning against the wall. "Isn't that the Oto guy from seireitei? What the fuck is he doing here?"

"Look around man, half the damn town is in this tea school."

"That's true."

"More importantly..." He jerked his head toward Ichigo who vehemently refused to even look in Grimmjow's direction, "what are you planning on doing about _that_?"

"Give it some time man, you have your own _that_ to deal with." Renji sighed then nodded. "Personally, judging by that look he just gave you I'd say he was interested."

Renji rose an eyebrow. "What look?"

"Dude are you fucking blind? When he walked in he glanced around the class and for like a millisecond your eyes met, he looked you up and down like you were a prime cut of beef!"

"Huh?"

"You weren't here yesterday, fully, I recognize his normal -I-don't-really-give-a-shit- look and what he gave you wasn't that."

"..." Renji scratched his head then glanced up at Byakuya who was talking to the blond and Baraggan. Byakuya did seem uninterested in whatever the blond had to say as did Baraggan. The black-haired teen sighed then just so happened to glance in Renji's direction.

The two locked eyes again before they quickly turned away.

"See?"

"Oh shut up."

Byakuya sighed. Seeing the still nameless redhead was unexpected, but the welcomed kind; the arrival of his childhood 'friend', however, was the bad kind. The patriarch of the Ōtoribashi clan always tried to keep in good graces with the Kuchiki clan, despite the obvious tension between the children.

"I'll get started on bowing now~" Byakuya watched the blond merely walk toward the back of the left side of the room. "In addition to bowing, I will also teach you how to correctly open and close the fusuma, how exactly to walk on the tatami, how you should enter and exit the tea room, how the tea should be poured, and how to care for the equipment. Once you get better you'll learn the proper way to eat and drink, how to handle the bowls, and the correct words to say."

"Um, sensei?" The blond nodded at Yumichika. "Wouldn't caring for the equipment and handling the bowls generally be the same thing?"

"That is true. What is your name exactly?"

"Ayasegawa Yumichika."

"Right. Ayasegawa-kun is correct so we'll be learning how to handle the bowls along with the rest of the equipment before learning how to eat and drink."

The blond walked toward the front of the room again. "He expects us to learn how to pour the tea but not drink it?" Grimmjow whispered and Renji shrugged.

"What are you getting so bent out of shape for, you don't even like tea."

"So?" Sighing, Renji shook his head.

Rose clapped his hands together getting everyone's attention. "Pair up into groups of three so we can begin bowing."

Smirking, Grimmjow grabbed the hem of Ichigo's kimono before he could escape.

At the first opening of the fusuma and the panting outburst, Uryū glanced toward the door then quickly looked away. Because of his idiot, meddling friends Uryū hadn't seen Ichigo for about two weeks since their break-up. He searched around the redhead's usual hangouts but each time he merely saw a glimpse Ichigo was being dragged away by one of his friends, who would glare at him or flip him the bird. The redhead was truly overprotected.

After about a week Uryū stopped trying to 'find' Ichigo and figured if they were supposed to see one another then they would. Of course after deciding that he wasn't going to look for Ichigo the cultural festival was among them.

Cultural festivals weren't his forte, but knowing Ichigo would be there - because of his friends - Uryū decided to make an appearance. He heard from several somewhat reliable sources that Ichigo had been on a date with seireitei's previously most popular employee but, knowing Ichigo for over fourteen years, Uryū knew his ex was particularly prudish about public displays of affection... or any sort of display of affection so this couldn't possibly be correct. However, Ichigo was confirmed (by several dozen individuals) to be the inebriated redhead that threw up in the maid cafe; and Jaegerjaquez was seen escorted to the infirmary _with_ Ichigo – so the previous theories had to be at least half correct.

The bespectacled teen glanced to the back of the room again, he saw Ichigo being restrained by Jaegerjaquez who appeared to be all smiles. The smile he was giving Ichigo was filled with unadulterated mischief and unbridled lust much like the ones in his profile, that Uryū _had_ to check out after the cultural festival.

Uryū wasn't blind, even though he wore glasses, but the point remained valid. Even when they were dating Uryū saw all the people giving Ichigo similar lust-laden looks.

Sighing, Uryū glanced around the room once more. Most of Ichigo's friends were spread out around the room so there was no way they could talk. Excluding the first year they had been banned from seeing one another outside of the school walls, this was the longest they had ever been apart and their first official breakup. Their little 'separations' lasted about two days at the most then they would just go on like nothing ever happened.

"Ishida."

Blue eyes glanced up at Chad's impassive face. Unlike the rest of the meddlers, Chad didn't outright try to keep Uryū from Ichigo – but that didn't necessarily mean the big guy was that willing to let them hang out, especially alone.

"You should focus on what Kuchiki-sensei is saying."

Blue eyes narrowed and Chad's expression, as expected, didn't falter. "Of course." Chad was Ichigo's best friend after all, he knew Ichigo better than anyone and while he might not be as aggressive as the rest of them (mainly Tatsuki and Ikkaku) his size wasn't just for show. The big guy was as kind as he was strong. Uryū met him before his whole passive three-sixty attitude during their third year of junior high so he knew what he was talking about.

"How come I didn't know that..." Keigo facepalmed, "of course it all makes sense now." He shook his head smirking. "Ichigo's one sly fox."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Hm?" Keigo stared at his best friend before shrugging, "nothing... so, you didn't tell me you stopped talking to Ayasegawa-kun on seireitei."

"What—" Ikkaku's eyes widened. He glanced at the front of the class at Yumichika who was glaring at him. "He's not taking it too well, is he?"

Keigo shook his head, "apparently he's not all that good with rejection." Ikkaku facepalmed. "As your best friend I'm giving you a heads up... he was planning on having me grant him access into your dorm. What he planned to do wasn't disclosed."

Ikkaku remembered something on Yumichika's profile saying he didn't handle rejection well but, quite frankly, no one handles rejection that well – unless you're used to it. He didn't expect the effeminate to be this pissed, but for someone as pretty as Yumichika rejection obviously wasn't something that came often.

Yumichika shook his head before turning back around. As they were on opposite ends of the room there was no way the black-haired teen had heard them but stranger things have happened recently. Ikkaku sighed as Keigo patted him on the back. "Just remember I gave you a fair warning..."

Ichigo sighed resigning to his fate. As Rose was busy with the front of the class and Byakuya had now moved onto the middle, on the left side, he was left alone with Grimmjow and the redhead he introduced as Renji. He might not have recognized the face during his drunken haze at the cultural festival, but Ichigo knew the face from the website he was the – at the time – unknown redhead engaged in a pillow fight with Yumichika and Grimmjow. More recent pictures showed that Grimmjow favored him more than the other employees as they were in a majority of one another's photos. There was even a picture in which they two of them were asleep spooning. Still, with all the pictures there wasn't an ounce of sexual nature to them. They were just extremely comfortable hanging off one another, being sexy without being sexual toward the other. It was odd, if that made any sense. At the moment they were next to one another while the other employees were scattered haphazardly around the room.

"What do we have here?" The trio looked up at Rose's smiling face. "Lets get started with the bowing. Which one of you would like to go first?"

The three teens glanced at each other. "Come now, don't be shy~" Grimmjow and Renji exchanged glances briefly before the latter stood. "Wonderful! Now your name would be?"

"Abarai Renji."

Rose looked the redhead up and down. "Renji-kun then." He grabbed the slightly taller teen pressing their bodies together.

"Oi, what the hell does that have to do with bowing?"

"Hm?" The blond looked over Renji's shoulder at a seething Grimmjow and a gaping Ichigo. "Oh, we'll get to that in a second."

Grimmjow's right eye twitched as Rose winked at him before turning his attention back to Renji. "You need to make sure your posture is as straight as possible." As his right hand was holding Renji's hand his left hand ventured down to the redhead's ass giving it a squeeze causing the teen to stiffen immediately. "Like that."

The blond mentally chuckled as he heard Grimmjow grinding his teeth from where they were standing. He first saw the redhead at the seireitei photo shoot but as he was on the phone at the time they didn't have the opportunity to talk, especially when he left while still on the phone. The blond was disinterested in almost everything but the redhead was one of those near nonexistent things that the blond wanted to possess.

He didn't know the redhead's name so he didn't bother checking his profile page, beside he didn't want to seem like one of those stalkers that knew someone's name before they even met face-to-face. So he'd just bide his time, until they met – which Rose thought would be the next seireitei meeting or something like a group photo shoot but this was even better.

He saw the blue-haired teen hanging off the redhead even when the latter was on the phone and they were doing something else together but there was nothing more than an overprotective, brotherly vibe coming from the blue-haired teen which practically gave him the green light to make the redhead his.

"I think that's sexual harassment, _sensei_." Purple eyes clashed with light blue and everyone in the room felt a sudden chill go up their spines at the exact moment. Slowly the entire class turned toward Grimmjow who stood up toe-to-toe with Rose who was his exact same height.

"Is there a problem... I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"Its Grimmjow and you should remember it, _sensei_, cause its the name of the guy who's gonna kick your ass."

"We obviously can't fight in the tea school, but I've never backed down from a challenge before and I don't intend on doing it now. Just name the time and place Grimmjow-kun and I will be there."

A hand on his shoulder caused Rose to look behind him. Byakuya sighed, "I can't believe you're picking fights with students..." Byakuya looked down at the blond's hand which was gripped possessively around the redhead's waist. His eyes narrowed at the offending appendage then up to its owner, "and to top it off you're groping students too."

Rose gulped as Byakuya looked him up and down in a threatening glare. He grew up with Byakuya, so it was safe to assume that the black-haired teen was pissed beyond the shadow of a doubt.

"I-I was just teaching Renji-kun the proper way to bow b-by fixing his posture." Obviously the glare he was getting meant the black-haired teen wasn't convinced. "Right..." He reluctantly released Renji's waist then sighed. "I'm fired, aren't I?'

"Oh yeah." Rose sighed again as Byakuya turned on his heels then walked back to the front of the classroom.

"Uh, am I fired right now or can I stay until class is over?"

"You're welcome to stay Ōtoribashi but you clearly won't be teaching anymore."

"I figured as much." Rose shrugged, "oh well!" He plopped down next to Renji ignoring Grimmjow's glare.

Byakuya sighed. He tended to do that a lot whenever Ōtoribashi was concerned. "I suppose we should move onto something else as you should all be a bit more familiar with bowing." He glared back at Ōtoribashi once more for good measure before he took his seat.

Yumichika glanced back at Grimmjow now sitting in between Renji and Rose. Renji was a big boy, he knew how to fight his own battles – but unlike Grimmjow – the redhead also knew _when_ to fight said battles. It made no sense to start a commotion in the tea school, like Grimmjow just did. Renji trained his body like crazy he could probably put the blond out of commission with a single strike but held his ground until the right moment. Sighing, Yumichika turned back to Byakuya. Grimmjow's temper was his Achilles' heel, it was like having a giant bull's eye on the middle of your forehead.

As Byakuya was temporarily preoccupied by the old guy from Renji's job, Yumichika glanced back at Ikkaku who was doing a poor job of avoiding eye contact. Yumichika fully intended on finding out why the idiot just broke off contact without so much as a warning. Yumichika truly enjoyed talking to Ikkaku over the phone, it was like a breath of fresh air; once their contract had been canceled it seemed like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs.

And with Grimmjow trying to protect Renji from the perverted blond he wasn't paying attention to the one he dubbed as 'Berry' meaning they would probably go ahead with their plan of following Keigo to Ikkaku's dorm for the confrontation.

Sitting next to Yumichika, Shinji sighed. "You'll get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that Yumi."

Yumichika's frown deepened. With the three person bowing segment over the class went back to their previous seats, Shinji was on his left and he was leaning against the wall a good distance from the tea. Apparently Kuchiki-sensei still was weary of his clumsiness because he kept glancing in his direction every time Yumichika flinched. He was merely called on at random, getting the tea from the cabinet and spilling all of it before reaching the iemoto.

Yumichika wasn't naturally clumsy, but something about the iemoto's natural hotness made him jumpy. The black-haired teen might not be pretty like he was but he was irrefutably attractive, and perhaps the main reason for this tea school's popularity.

While Byakuya was still distracted Yumichika chucked the chakin in front of him over his head hitting Grimmjow in the forehead. Before the blue-haired teen could lash out he saw Yumichika shaking his head, then purple eyes darted at Ichigo before back at Grimmjow raising an eyebrow.

Nodding, Grimmjow smirked then his eyes darted at Ikkaku. Huffing, Yumichika turned back to the front of the class. "What the hell was that?" Renji whispered.

"Hm? Oh, nothing."

The rest of the class carried on with no particular screw-ups, spilled tea, or fights though once everyone was dismissed Rose had to stay after to presumably get chewed out by the iemoto. As Ichigo attempted to make his escape Grimmjow grabbed his kimono. "Oh no, you and I need to talk." The redhead gulped before resigning to his fate. He saw Ikkaku, Chad, and Keigo walk by mouthing their apologies.

Even while holding his kimono Grimmjow and Renji were talking to one another as if Ichigo wasn't even there until Yumichika popped up clamping a hand on Renji's shoulder. "Come on Renji, you need to _help_ me with something!" Not giving Renji time to respond Yumichika dragged him out of the room, Starrk and Shinji followed suit. "Later Grimmjow."

"Yeah." Once his nakama disappeared he looked down at the teen squirming in his arms. "Now." Ichigo looked up at the teen who was a good five or so centimeters taller than him. "Do you have somewhere quiet where we can talk?" The calmness of the blue-haired teen's voice alerted Ichigo that he was undoubtedly screwed.

"Ichigo." Eyes widening, both due to the familiar voice and the compromising position Grimmjow had him in, Ichigo turned to the bespectacled teen now standing in front of him. Grimmjow took the opportunity to pull Ichigo closer resting his chin on the shorter teen's shoulder. "Can we talk?"

Even though he already anticipated this conversation and replayed the entire event in his head several times it didn't compare to the real thing standing in front of him. Ichigo could never say no to those big blue eyes, especially when their owner looked so somber.

"S—"

"Get lost four-eyes, Berry and I got business."

Uryū rose an eyebrow, "business?"

Ichigo gaped up at Grimmjow, "Berry!"

"Yeah. Don't tell me you don't remember the cultural festival Berry, I mean, you didn't mind me calling you that then."

Ichigo paled considerably and Uryū's eyes narrowed. "Sorry dude, I heard about you and sorry to say Berry and I are very much involved with one another. I suppose you can say he stole my heart."

"Wha—"

Grimmjow put his free hand over Ichigo's mouth. "As usual, he's in denial. Lets go!" Uryū watched the duo head out of the tea school. It was plausible that Jaegerjaquez was simply lying to make him jealous, which worked rather efficiently, but it was also possible that they were going out now. Uryū frowned, more importantly how the hell could he have known about their relationship? Well, Ichigo was shit-faced during the cultural festival so it was likely he told him or one of Ichigo's meddling friends could have spilled the beans. Either way, Ichigo was too good for a sex crazed, arrogant, excessively violent jerk like Jaegerjaquez!

Ichigo looked up at Grimmjow whistling rather loudly and completely off-key. Was his nearly life long exposure to Ikkaku's insanity finally rubbing off on him? Did what just happen _truly_ happen or was he drunk off his ass again? And what the hell was up with the nickname?

The first time he talked let alone saw Uryū he got dragged away by this crazy individual and what was with the odd declaration? Surprisingly for all the flirting and bitching he did Uryū was the jealous one, so it was obvious – even to someone that didn't know the bespectacled teen – that he was seething right now. But what Ichigo couldn't figure out was how Grimmjow could have...

"Keigo..." Ichigo muttered darkly. Next to Chad, Keigo was Ichigo's second best friend – they knew one another longer than Ichigo knew the others except Chad and Tatsuki. Keigo normally wasn't meddlesome but he cracked under pressure embarrassingly fast not to mention he was the only friend Grimmjow had access to since the brunet was now employed at seireitei. There was a slight chance that he also came in contact with Ikkaku via Yumichika but with Ikkaku's currently pissy mood that wasn't likely.

Ichigo looked down at the ground below. Grimmjow was carrying him under his arm like a duffel bag. "I can walk you know."

"Nope, you'll just run off if I let you go." Ichigo snaps his fingers in disappointment, "don't worry Berry I'll take good care of you~"


	6. 6: A Recipe for Strawberry Cheesecake

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction, that's why I stay up until two in the morning writing.

A/N: I haven't used this in a while but _"other side of the telephone"_  
Oh, I suppose I should put some sort of warning regarding boy on boy action that occurs in this chapter and **no** its not who you think or want.  
390cm = 12ft 9.5in (no, I'm not kidding)

The chapter's title was supposed to be _"The perfect recipe for strawberry cheesecake"_ but it didn't fit so I just cut it down to whatever I put it as...

* * *

_"Strawberries are the angels of the earth, innocent and sweet with green leafy wings reaching heavenward."_  
_-Terri Guillemets_

* * *

"Ta-da~" Green eyes narrowed at the computer screen before glancing at said computer's owner.

"What is it that I'm looking at Shunsui?"

"What are you looking at? What kind of question is that? Don't you see the new layout for seireitei?" Leaning closer to the screen, the white-haired man's eyes narrowed further. "Hanatarō-kun just finished working on it not even five minutes before you came over. Of course I got one hell of a scolding for distributing the pictures to Baraggan-san without his knowledge, but it wasn't though I knew his employees would share the pictures around."

"You deserve to get scolded, then again you're not the type to do things you're supposed to." The white-haired man sighed, "anyway... about the reason you called me here, I don't know how much help I'll be selling your sex toys—"

"I don't want you to _sell_ them Jūshirō-chin, I want you to talk to the guy that makes them."

"And why can't you talk to Kisuke-san yourself?"

"Me? Why should I? I mean, you know that Urahara-san would do **anything** for you; remember our second year of high school? _'If there is anything you need Ukitake-kun, **please **don't hesitate to call me~'_"

"You're the one that led him on pretending to be me!"

"Now, now. We're not here to talk about the past." Ukitake's eyes narrowed. "You know how that angry face of yours turns me on."

Shaking his head, the white-haired man sighed. "I swear, I... why can't I have any normal friends? Almost everyone I know is somehow related to the adult entertainment business. But the worst would be you running an amoral website and Kisuke-san owning a chain of sex toy shops."

"Being 'normal' is overrated, and if everyone you know is in the adult entertainment business just hop aboard the bandwagon. When I thought of seireitei months ago you helped me, its about time you got some recognition and your own page. Even though I'm not exactly willing to have you show your sex appeal to others."

"What the hell exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"You and I both know how attractive you can be. Not only did you have hoards of groupies when we went to school, but my employees that attend Rukongai won't shut up about how amazing you are. Hell, half of them are now science majors because of you."

"Well science is interesting."

"Only when you teach it. Kurotsuchi-san makes science terrifying. Ah! You know him and he isn't in the adult entertainment business."

Ukitake shuddered. "He might as well be."

"Oh... right, when we had to pair up with a senpai during our first year of high school and he did that... _thing_?" Ukitake nodded. "It was softcore porn at the most."

"Stripping would have been softcore, but he..." The white-haired man cringed, "no. I-I just can't explain it. All that paint, and the easels, and the..." Ukitake shook his head.

"It was too much, but he was always thinking outside the box. It was a good thing there were an uneven amount of students so we got to work together."

"I had the feeling you did that deliberately."

"No. It was just pure luck. But poor Urahara-san had it bad."

"If you had nothing to do with us working together then you must have had something to do with that." Kyōraku shrugged. "You always seemed particularly spiteful with Kisuke-san."

"Do I? Maybe its because you seem to like him more than me."

"What? You're acting like a kid; and how could you think that, aren't you the idiot I'm usually hanging out with? We were 'most inseparable' since junior high and still are." Kyōraku closed his eyes, puckered his lips, and outstretched his arms. "What ...the hell are you doing?"

"Huh?" The brunet cracked an eye open, "I'm waiting for my kiss."

"From whom?"

"From you."

"Seriously Shunsui you could at least act like a grown man."

Pouting, Kyōraku slumped back in his seat locking his hands behind his head. "You're no fun. We've kissed several times before how is this time any different? I even gave you my first kiss."

"You and I both know that was an accident due to your clumsiness."

"If I recall correctly, it was your clumsiness old man."

"What? Old? You're five months older than I am!"

"Knock, knock." Both men froze turning toward the teen standing in the doorway scratching his head blushing slightly. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"Of course not Hanatarō-kun come." Nodding slowly, Hanatarō hesitantly approached the desk. "I'm sure you've met my close friend Ukitake Jūshirō-chin." The white-haired man bowed and Hanatarō timidly bowed back. "As you may already know he's a science teacher at Rukongai and the co-owner of seireitei even though he refused to have his name on the website."

"I didn't refuse, I just had nothing to do with it as it was all your idea—"

"Nothing to do with it? You single-handedly created the website so that I didn't have to hire a designer. Then you introduced me to half of my employees as they were in your school and now you're helping me with the sex toys. All that is more than nothing, sure it was my idea but you put it all together; partner." Kyōraku waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Ooh! Before I forget Hanatarō-kun could you put Jūshirō's information in the little owner link?"

"O-Okay."

The white-haired man sighed once more, "fine. I'll picture and information on the website."

"Why do you keep sighing?"

"I wonder..."

"Do you see how he treats me Hanatarō-kun? After all we've been through!"

"Uh... Kyōraku-san have you seen that flash drive I saved the backup pictures on?"

"Hm? Oh, yes I have." Opening his top right drawer, Kyōraku took out a navy flash drive waving it around. "I—"

"Kyōraku-san you gave away more pictures?"

"What, no! I swear I wasn't giving out any more pictures, I was just making extra copies for myself to keep on the main computer..." As Hanatarō and Ukitake exchanged glances, clearly unconvinced by the brunet's words, Kyōraku twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Its the honest truth, check my computer if you don't believe me. But more importantly when are you going to have another photo shoot I need more pictures on the website and calendar."

"Half of your employees should be preparing for exams before Christmas break so I doubt they'd have the time."

"Damn, well maybe they'll have time over the weekend? I mean, Rukongai only has classes Monday through Friday right? I remember our college had classes through Saturday... now those were good times."

"Our? Did you two go to college together?"

"College, high school, junior high; we've been through it all – except for the first three years of elementary school." The brunet shook his head, "those were dark times." Ukitake cleared his throat. "But I digress... once I locked onto those big green eyes I knew we'd be best friends; of course he had black hair up until the first year of junior high."

Hanatarō looked up at Ukitake's white hair then back at Kyōraku. "Did he dye it?"

"No. He got so sick that it turned white over three days! It was like something out of a science-fiction comic!" Ukitake hit the brunet over the head. "What was that for?" The white-haired man merely shook his head. "A-Anyway it was fortunate that this three day change occurred in the spring that we transitioned from elementary school to junior high so we went to a different school with new people who just assumed it was his natural hair color. But that didn't matter because he was immensely popular either way, and I imagine he still is with those dashing good looks of his. And with said dashing looks Jūshirō gained massive popularity among other boys; they flocked to him like a dog with a bone, or lambs to the slaughter, or moths to a flame, or some other idiom to detail this situation. His popularity is a lot like Grimmjow-kun's ...you know how our amoral blue-haired friend is equally appealing to both genders?"

Nodding, Hanatarō stared at the white-haired man in awe. He never seen Ukitake-sensei before but heard from several classmates, including Yumichika, about how hot the white-haired man was. Now he saw first hand how attractive the science teacher really was. He also heard from his seireitei co-workers that Kyōraku was rather possessive and clingy in regards to his best friend, only he had no idea who the best friend in question was – but now Hanatarō saw the clingy possessiveness first hand too. Kyōraku was a naturally carefree individual so for him to be so possessive meant Ukitake wasn't just some ordinary childhood friend.

"Oh, by the way with Jūshirō's help we might have the toys up and running faster than we could have thought possible. But we're going to need your opinion on the types of toys we're going to have Urahara create and the appropriate prices. You helped so much already its only fitting you get a say as well."

"T-Toys?"

"I didn't tell you? The sex toys that come with the calendar?" Blushing, both Ukitake and Hanatarō turned to Kyōraku.

"They're coming with the calendar?" Hanatarō asked.

"Of course. Why?" Facepalming, Ukitake shook his head. "Oh, maybe you think we should sell them through the website too? Or have some special order? Like call the website ten times within the month and get a free vibrator or something? Now I know why I keep you around Jūshirō."

"Y-You know, a-anything would be fine!" Hanatarō announced blushing bright red. "I-I'm not all that experienced with this field."

"So did you want to try some toys out to get a feel of them?"

"W-What? N-No!"

"I mean, I don't go around using vibrators so I'm not that familiar with them either." Ukitake shook his head sighing. "There you go sighing again!"

"You keep giving me reasons to sigh."

Kyōraku pouted, "so mean... hey! I just had a thought. The first few customers to purchase a calendar get a free bottle of lube because they'll probably need it." Scooting over, Kyōraku patted the empty space in his seat. "Sit Jūshirō, we need to do some brainstorming." Kyōraku licked his lips, "and maybe some get some motivation?"

"Sure. But not now." The brunet's chipper demeanor instantaneously deflated. "I actually have to do go now, but I'll call you later. It was nice meeting you in person after all these months Hanatarō-kun."

"Wait, is what you have to do more important than me?"

Eyes widening briefly, Ukitake was about to respond but began coughing violently. "Damn this irritating cough, I need to take some medicine or something." Without giving Kyōraku time to respond Ukitake briskly walked out of the house then subsequently out of the house.

Sighing dreamily, Kyōraku propped his hands against his chin. Hanatarō slowly turned to his boss. "Um, Kyōraku-san, are you by chance harboring an unrequited love for your best friend?"

"Uh? Oh no, my love isn't unrequited; I mean who wouldn't love me?" Hanatarō blinked at the brunet, "it just that Jūshirō-chin is so damn cute I had to stake a claim on him."

"A claim?"

"Yes. You know, like call dibs? It was the only way I could fiend off his persistent groupies." Kyōraku rubbed the back of his neck. "But even without the hoard of fanboys he acquired I couldn't help wanting to monopolize him every chance I got, and I was even more grateful that he let me; but I'm especially grateful that he keeps putting up with me."

"I wonder..." Kyōraku rose an eyebrow, "no! I-I mean, I monopolize best friend a lot ...b-but its not like I do it deliberately. At least I don't think it is."

"Oh ho, what's this? You're talking about Muguruma-kun right?" Hanatarō nodded. "Well I don't blame you, but its not entirely ...okay so maybe it is your fault but Muguruma-kun indulges you without question. In fact, I'd say you two are rather co-dependent on one another."

"No, I think that its just me being too dependent on him. Ever since we met he's been protecting me."

"Of course, that's how these big brother types are."

"Big... he's younger than I am."

"Is that so? Well he's still the big brother type. Besides you're shorter than he is. Anyway, you always being protected and him protecting you work in-sync with one another. Case and point a co-dependency is formed." Hanatarō nodded in understanding. "You two live together right?"

"W-Well Ken-kun doesn't go to Rukongai so we have an apartment off campus."

"Muguruma-kun is a freeter right? Is he interested in working for seireitei?"

"No."

"Oh, well—no? What do you mean no?"

Hanatarō shook his head, "I asked him when I got hired and he said no. He told me he prefers actual physical work, that's why he has so many odd jobs – I guess."

"I see. Maybe we can convince him anyway!"

"W-Wait a minute!"

"Come on Hanatarō-kun, even if Muguruma-kun is incredibly well toned he probably doesn't want to stick to physical labor – I need to expand seireitei, get some of the hottest males around on the website of all different body types and whatnot. It will give customers more to look at when they browse. Please ask him."

"I-I don't know."

"I'll triple your pay."

"What!"

"You already get more money because you're my assistant, I'll triple that if you at least get Muguruma-kun to appear in the calender even if he doesn't join." Hanatarō gulped. When they first got the apartment he and Kensei agreed to split the rent between them but prior to seireitei the gray-haired teen was the only one paying working himself to the bone so they could have a place to sleep all that while Hanatarō attended Rukongai. It was only natural that the eighteen-year-old would feel guilty so he tried to get several jobs and ended up failing each of them miserably because of his clumsiness – when he found out that no physical labor was involved in seireitei he couldn't possibly say no ...until he found out exactly what the website was. Fortunately, prior to a month ago all he had to do was fix up the website to get a paycheck which was something a computer major would have no problem doing.

With the money from seireitei every two weeks, he had enough to pay the rent and then some by himself but Kensei was adamant about paying his half by whatever means.

If his already impressive paycheck were to be increased Kensei could take a well deserved break from working so many odd jobs during the week.

"I-I'll see what I can do."

Kyōraku grinned patting the teen on the back. "Glad to hear it."

… …

Ichigo grumbled into the last of his sixth cup of hot chocolate; Grimmjow had taken him away from all walks of human life to some cosplay cafe in the middle of scenic nowhere then ditched him! When they first arrived, nearly an hour ago, hoards of otakus and the like swarmed to Grimmjow like flies to honey. Autographs were given, pictures were taken, and even a few feels were copped.

Ichigo contemplated going home but he had no idea where the hell he was so he couldn't possibly leave and this hot chocolate was too damn good to give up.

Much like from what he remembered during the cultural festival, the eccentric blue-haired teen had disappeared with the flock of groupies leaving Ichigo with one too many drinks – only this time it was nonalcoholic hot chocolate instead of beer a minor should not have had access to in the first place. Even though he wasn't intoxicated, throwing up might be a possibility with all the hot chocolate and pastries he was stuffing his face with.

"Hey kid." With a half eaten cruller partially in his mouth, the redhead scowled at the man standing in front of his table. "Wow, that's quite a face." He looked over the redhead's shoulder at the flock cooing over the blue-haired teen. "Looks like you need more than just some hot chocolate—"

"Ōmaeda, I swear you had better be working and not flirting with my customers!"

"R-Right away Suì-sama!" The man sped off in the direction of the kitchen.

Muttering under her breath, black-haired woman – wearing the customary black frilly maid outfit that was accompanied by upright black rabbit ears – stomped out from the behind the door labeled 'boss.' "Huh? What the fuck is going on out here!" Gasping, the large group of fans disintegrated standing in the doorway into several smaller groups now occupying the tables in the cafe. Muttering once more, she glanced at the orange-haired teen seated alone at his table.

Smirking, she merrily approached the table and plopped down in the chair directly in front of the eighteen-year-old. "Well, well, well ...aren't you a sight for sore eyes? Say, you're not going to throw up in this cafe too, are you Kurosaki?"

"Word gets out fast, doesn't it Suì-Fēng?"

"That's Suì-Fēng-senpai to you. So, I kept on hearing about Rukongai University's upcoming cultural festival and as a former student I had to make an appearance especially as it was open to the public."

"Former student or not some people might get the wrong idea having a grown woman stalking the campus grounds."

"Its not like its high school or anything, everyone there is either legal or close to it." Suì-Fēng waved him off, "but that's not the issue here. What is going on? I heard from Tatsuki-chan that you and Ishida broke up." Ichigo's perpetual scowl deepened. "Don't give me that look, you're like the little brother I never had – growing up in a house full of women is dreadfully tough. Anyways, to be honest, I'm actually happy you and Ishida called it quits. I mean you two 'separated' what... seventeen times this year? I guess that would be the sixty-third time overall, although this is technically the first break up you've ever had. Hopefully, it'll be the last too."

"Damn, have you been keeping tabs on my relationship?" Suì-Fēng nodded happily. "Should have known with that damn photographic memory of yours."

"So, onto new business. Are you and Jaegerjaquez-sama an item now?"

"What? Why the hell would you think that?"

"Ōmaeda, the big guy I just yelled at, said you two walked in together then you got bum rushed by his groupies. Seriously Kurosaki get a damn backbone and fight for your man!"

"I'm not interested in Grimmjow and I'm damn sure not going to fight over him! I just got out of a relationship, do you honestly think I'm that eager to get into another one?" Suì-Fēng nodded. "Of course you do. Listen, he dragged me here and even if I was interested according to his seireitei profile he is hardly boyfriend material."

"You're not exactly 'boyfriend material' either, but this ...thing you and Ishida have going on and off isn't exactly healthy. You two had an average of nine separations per year!" Suì-Fēng sighed at the glare she was receiving. "Alright, I'll level with you Ichigo. I'm your friend, senpai, and the main reason why you're put off from women now so I love and care about you deeply so I'm going to tell you something out of said love. Dislodge that rod from your ass and just let go. Loosen your inhibitions and above all else stop being such a fucking prude!"

"I don't have a rod up my ass and I'm not a fucking prude! Why the hell does everyone keep saying that?"

"If everyone keeps saying it must be true. Kurosaki Ichigo you are, by far, the biggest prude I have ever met in my twenty-three years of existence and let me tell you I've met quite a few prudes; Ishida included. Now, just to let you know – as a friend – I figured I should tell you that you seriously need to get laid." Ichigo's eyes widened. "I mean, you've been solely sleeping with Ishida for about four years and you're still grumpy. My suggestion is that you find yourself a better, debilitating fuck."

"You can't say shit like that in a family establishment!"

"Listen, I'm entitled to say whatever the hell I want. Not only am I the owner but I'm five years older than you."

"I almost forgot how much of a bitch you were and I also find it hard to take anything you're saying seriously with those things on your head."

Suì-Fēng was about to voice her response when she saw Grimmjow grab a chair from an unsuspecting patron about to sit down then placed the chair next to Ichigo. The man fall backwards onto his ass eliciting a few chuckles from some of the other customers.

"Hello, I am Suì-Fēng the owner of this establishment." She leaned forward making sure her cleavage was noticeable before shaking Grimmjow's hand. "I was just taking care of Ichigo for you."

"Yeah, thanks. Kyōraku says not to disappoint the fans because you never know which ones might turn out to be rabid." Grinning, he slung an arm around Ichigo's tense shoulders. "So onee-chan, you and Berry are close huh?"

"B-Berry?" Suì-Fēng involuntarily blushed ignoring Ichigo's glare. "How cute! I can't believe no one ever though of calling him that before! Its genius!" She cleared her throat, "but to answer your question Berry and I are quite close, we met seven years ago in an institute created to curb the violent tendencies of the pubescent."

"Summer camp?"

"Good guess. But it was better known as hell on Earth. But enough about the past—"

"Suì-sama there is a phone call for you!"

"Dammit Ōmaeda!" Suì-Fēng sighed, "well I have to work now. It was a pleasure meeting you in person Jaegerjaquez-san. Make sure to take good care of Berry." Chuckling to herself, Suì-Fēng headed back to the office kicking the door open then shut.

"Did ya miss me Berry?" Grimmjow leaned impossibly closer to the redhead planting a kiss on his cheek.

"No. Now tell me what the hell you want so I can go home."

"Not yet, I do believe you owe me." Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "I saved your ass at the cultural festival and I saved your ass yet again today."

"I never asked be to saved."

"You're right, you didn't ask, you were begging for it. Four-eyes was ready to plow your ass down if I didn't step in."

"Fine, you have a point – but how did you know he was my ex?"

"I didn't." Ichigo facepalmed. "He kept checking you out during the tea class and he glared at me when I grabbed you so I figured he was either a stalker or an old flame; guess it was the latter." Grimmjow smirked removing his hand from Ichigo's shoulder. "Seriously man, I thought Yumi had weird taste in bedmates but you proved me wrong. He looks like a total douche and you were banging him for how many years?"

"Four, not that its really any of your business."

"I wouldn't say that, I did sort of cockblock him." Grimmjow looked the redhead up and down, "you were planning on going back to him weren't you?"

"N-No... I mean, I don't know." Ichigo shrugged. "Maybe. What difference would it make?"

"It wouldn't make a difference to me, but after four years its no wonder you called me." Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose stifling an oncoming headache. Despite how absurdly easy it was to form a conversation with Grimmjow he was incredibly frustrating to talk to but Ichigo suspected he was doing that intentionally. "Anyways, I figured I would give you a do-over since you royally – and I do mean royally – fucked up our first encounter. I believe in second chances and all that shit."

"Right... now what exactly did I do? Aside from throwing up in the maid cafe, which countless people told me I did the next day."

"Hmm... that's pretty much it. Oh! But you were kind of a happy drunk." Ichigo paled. "You were awfully giggly and somewhat clingy you wouldn't let go of Renji when he carried you."

Attempting to quell his blush, Ichigo cleared his throat. "Let me see if I understand what you're saying. I spend the majority of our ...encounter... passed out drunk?" Grimmjow nodded. "Such a fucking waste of money."

"Hey, at least you didn't get more days." Ichigo glared at him. "Don't get so bent out of shape, why do you think I'm here now?"

"Do you normally give do-overs?"

"Only when my clients fuck up as bad as you did, besides did you really think I'd miss an opportunity to see this adorable face again?" Ichigo scowled as Grimmjow pinched his cheeks. "You have the sexiest scowl I have ever laid eyes on and it makes me wanna see other facial expressions I can evoke from this face."

Ichigo slapped the offending hand away from his face, "couldn't you just give me my money back?"

"Are you shitting me? I don't work that way." Ichigo sighed, "besides Kyōraku has like seven vacations planned for the new year so I don't really think he'll be all that pleased to refund customers."

"Then its safe to assume that your boss doesn't know about this?"

"Do I look like some kind of mindless drone to you? Ever heard of the expression 'what you don't know won't hurt you?' As long as I'm pretending to give a shit about my clients physical or emotional needs when they don't call to have phone sex then I'm sure boss doesn't mind what I do on my free time even if it involves a former or potential client."

"I understand now."

"Understand what?"

"Why people wouldn't want to meet up with you face-to-face. You told me over the phone that I would be your first non electronic client, right?"

"You know, that's some pretty rude shit to say Berry."

"Would you stop calling me that? Where the hell did it come from anyway?"

"Well, your given name is Ichigo right? And that means 'one five' but I can't make a nickname out of that – at least one I'd use; it also means 'strawberry' but calling ya that would be too much of a hassle."

"Why would you want to give me a nickname in the first place?"

"I give nicknames to people that I find particularly interesting. Our little conversation over the phone caused me to develop an interest in you and the display at the cultural festival only increased it. Oh, speaking of the phone call you seemed a hell of a lot more ballsy then than you do now."

"Oh that... I actually called you subconsciously. I found myself looking at your pictures and I accidentally bought a day to spend with you. Before I had time to cancel that wavy haired guy called me confirming it."

"Then why didn't you just cancel? I mean, if you didn't confirm then you don't have to pay a cancel charge."

"Oh shit, why didn't I think of that?" Sighing, the redhead shook his head. "I was pretty out of it when I did it and why I realized what I did at first I freaked out then I figured what the hell I might as well meet you in person."

"You know, surprisingly, that isn't the craziest story I heard about seireitei."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think it would be the third, maybe fourth – I guess fifth if I include what's going on with Ren-chan now."

"Speaking of him, you two seem to be closer than the others on your page."

"Aw, hell yeah! Renji's my partner in crime. Don't get me wrong... Starrk, Yumi, and even Shinji are all my best friends too but I knew Renji longer and if I had to choose just one it would be Renji without a doubt. Like how you and the big guy are best friends, right?"

"Ye... how did you know that?"

Grimmjow shrugged, "I just guessed, I seem to be quite good with it lately."

"Grimmjow?" Blue eyes looked up at the black-haired teen standing at the other side of the table. "I thought that was your voice." Sighing, Yumichika plopped down in the empty chair. "Renji had to go to work so I'm enlisting your help..." Trailing off he stared at Ichigo, "who is this? Wait don't tell me! This is Berry right?"

Grimmjow nodded and Yumichika eagerly shook the redhead's hand. "Hold up, that means he's the one that threw up in the maid cafe during the cultural festival right?"

Ichigo sighed, "don't remind me."

"Wait a minute..." Squinting, Yumichika leaned forward. "we've already met, I believe Yasutora-kun introduced us briefly. I never would have pegged you for someone interested in Grimmjow." Yumichika cast a sidelong glance at the blue-haired teen. "Is that why you shooed me and Starrk away? Because you recognized his voice?" The black-haired teen shook his head. "That's so ...unsettling." Yumichika sighed.

"What's unsettling?" Yumichika sighed again plopping his elbow against his chin. "Ah! I understand... you and Renji were supposed to go see your bald obsession right?"

"I've been meaning to ask how did you know he was bald?"

"Starrk saw you two at the cultural festival as he was leaving then told me about it." Yumichika's left eye twitched then he frowned.

"Dammit Grimmjow, I am not obsessed with him!"

"Yeah, like hell you're not."

"Listen you—"

"Um... Yumichika-san?" Both Grimmjow and Yumichika turned to Ichigo. "This might be going against your confidentiality agreement but are you by chance talking about Madarame Ikkaku? I'm one of his close friends and I know he was your client because he wouldn't shut up about you—"

Yumichika slammed his hands against the table. "Is that a fact?" Gulping, Ichigo nodded. "Then consider yourself hired too."

"Huh?" Ichigo stared at the black-haired teen incredulously. "W-Wait a sec—" Ichigo sighed at the twin glares he was receiving. "Alright, fine I'll help too... although I don't know why. Do you remember doing or saying anything that would make Ikkaku not want to talk to you anymore?"

"Nothing I could recall, then again I honestly can't imagine anyone not wanting to talk to me." Grimmjow facepalmed and Ichigo shook his head. "Lets see... we met for the first time at the campus lounge, then I looked all over for him for about two or three hours until I found him just standing against a gate talking on the phone, everything after that is kind of a blur."

"Blur? Crap, I just remembered I gotta go back and fight Zaraki!"

"A real fight?"

"More like sparring." Yumichika replied. "Grimmjow's an assistant sensei at Hueco Mundo Dojo and the new sense is like a wild animal he's itching to fight. Ooh, you should come with us Berry-chan."

"Be—" Ichigo sighed. "Sure I'll go, my dad runs a clinic so I could provide medical support."

"He's a keeper Grimmjow." Yumichika stood grinning. "I'm in the mood for some kusa mochi."

"You do realize that its almost winter right?"

The black-haired teen shrugged. "I guess just regular mochi would suffice."

"Shit, I'm game, but you're buying."

"As long as you help me when you're done getting your ass kicked."

"Funny." As Ichigo and Grimmjow were getting up the former felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Surprise, surprise. Its quite a shock seeing you in a place like this Ic-hi-go~" Brown eyes narrowed. "I missed the tea school for one day and you have a date with two of seireitei's top employees." The newcomer shook his head, "and everyone said you'd go running back to Ishida-kun."

"Who are you?" Yumichika asked looking the newcomer up and down sporting a neutral expression.

"Hm? Oh how terribly rude of me." He bowed. "I am Kojima Mizuiro, I suppose you could say Ichigo and I are good friends."

Ichigo's left eye twitched as Mizuiro shook hands with both Grimmjow and Yumichika. As someone who knew the real Kojima Mizuiro, Ichigo couldn't help but inwardly sigh. For all the years he knew the black-haired teen he realized that he was one hell of an actor. Mizuiro seemed like the polite little gentleman but when he was around his close friends he revealed his true self – which was a flirtatious, crude jerk.

"So, where are you guys heading?"

"The Hueco Mundo Dojo."

"No." Yumichika glared at Grimmjow, "we're heading to building 200 of the Rukongai Dorms, the dojo doesn't close until late at night so you'll have ample time left."

"Fine, fine."

"Oh, well I live in the dorms. Mind if I tag along?"

Grimmjow shrugged, "sure. Why the hell not."

Yumichika nudged Grimmjow, "its a good thing they're roommates because I forgot to get the key copied from Asano-kun." He whispered.

"Then I suppose that's a good thing." The blue-haired teen whispered back earning himself a glare. "Come on people, lets roll. The sooner we help Yumi the sooner I can fight Zaraki-sensei."

… …

Chad closed the book he was reading hearing Ikkaku shuffle around his dorm sniffling. Either he was catching a cold or someone was talking about him relentlessly. If the brunet had to guess he would think the latter because Yumichika was on a rampage with the sudden rejection. Ikkaku thought he had everything figured out by staying in Keigo's room, but if Yumichika was with Grimmjow – who was with Ichigo – then all this planning would be in vain because Ichigo would undoubtedly and unwittingly lead them to Ikkaku knowing this would be the next best place to look. The worst part was Keigo wasn't even here so Ikkaku had no justifiable reason for being in Keigo's dorm; not to say that he wasn't friends with Ikkaku but whenever the younger teen came over it was to see Keigo.

After they all left the tea school together leaving Ichigo to deal with Grimmjow the brunet just disappeared without a trace.

Sniffling and sneezing, Ikkaku trudged into the living room flopping down onto the couch. "I think I'm sick."

"Oh, are you allergic to commitment?" Ikkaku rose his head glaring at Chizuru grinning at him.

"You've been hanging around Tatsuki too damn long."

"And you've been hanging around Kei-chan too long." Huffing, the bespectacled teen stood stomping over to the couch. "Since when have you been afraid of anything? Seriously, you're such a whiner."

Right eye twitching, Ikkaku slowly stood standing in front of the redhead. "You got a lot of nerve!"

"I have a lot of nerve?"

"Is there an echo in the room?"

At the sound of the front door opening everyone paused. "Oi, Chad." Hearing Ichigo's voice, Ikkaku poorly hid himself behind Chizuru. The redhead fully entered the dorm looking around. "Is Ikkaku here?"

Tilting his head, Ichigo looked at Chizuru. "Why are you leaning against the wall like that?"

"Because I have no free will."

"I see... you haven't seen Ikkaku, have you?"

"As a matter of fact... ow!" Biting her lip, the redhead shook her head. Ichigo's eyes narrowed and Chizuru's eyes darted to the right continuously.

Nodding, Ichigo leaned to the right spotting Ikkaku leaning against the wall. "Sellout."

"You shouldn't have pinched me!" Huffing, Chizuru headed back to the couch. Ichigo glanced down at the red mark on her left leg as she walked away. The bespectacled teen was prone to wearing skirts regardless of the weather so her legs were accessible at all times; Ichigo didn't know why but those were her words not his.

"Shouldn't you be in your own dorm room?"

"Funny. I was about to ask you the same question." Ikkaku's eyes narrowed at the shrugging redhead. "Can't keep hiding forever you know."

"Yeah, and you didn't have to bring Yumichika here." Before Ichigo could reply Ikkaku stared walking off then paused as he almost walked into the object of his dreams ...in the flesh.

"Hi." His voice died in his throat, and Ikkaku merely nodded his greeting. Yumichika adorably tilted his head to the right. "I wanna ask you something." Gulping, Ikkaku nodded again grabbing the black-haired teen's arm leading him into Keigo's empty bedroom.

"Are they going to be okay in there?" Grimmjow asked leaning back in the couch. Chad and Ichigo exchanged glances then looked at the blue-haired teen shrugging. "Seriously?"

"Ikkaku's tough but ...I'm not entirely sure if he'd be willing to hit Yumichika."

The blue-haired teen sighed, "right."

Meanwhile, Yumichika patiently sat on the bed watching Ikkaku pace back and forth around the floor. "I'm sorry." The taller teen began, "I-I didn't mean to c-cancel."

"Why are you so nervous?"

"Why are you so pissed?"

"Touché." Yumichika sighed. "You just up and disappeared after you told me you wouldn't, yeah, you'd be pissed too. Now you."

The taller teen cleared his throat. "I... after the cultural festival, I-I... I—"

"You what!"

"I had a wet dream about you, okay! Shit."

Yumichika blushed, "oh." The black-haired teen cleared his throat. "Was it good?" Gaping at the shorter teen Ikkaku facepalmed. "No! I'm sorry. I won't pry." Suppressing the urge to frown Yumichika sat upright on the bed. "Were you afraid that things would be awkward... like they are now?" Blushing slightly Ikkaku nodded. "Well, if it makes you feel any better..." Yumichika crooked his finger beckoning Ikkaku closer. Once he was close enough Yumichika whispered something in his ear.

"Seriously?" Grinning, the black-haired teen nodded. "I guess that makes me feel a little better, a lot better actually." Sighing, he plopped down beside Yumichika. "Sorry if you thought I was being a jerk, I've never been this outta whack before."

Yumichika clamped a hand on Ikkaku's shoulder, "and I'm sorry I almost turned psychopathic."

"Almost?" Yumichika elbowed him. "Oww... so, we're cool right?"

"Friends?"

"Sure."

Grinning, the two teens shook hands. "Hey! Grimmjow is going to Hueco Mundo dojo later, do you want to tag along?"

"Why not, I don't have shit else to do anyway."

"Great, I guess."

… …

"What?" As he was putting his things in his locker, Kira kept sneaking glances at the redhead sitting on the bench in the locker room talking on his cellphone while getting dressed. It took all of the blond's existent willpower not to catch a nosebleed or pass out as Renji stripped down to his boxers then slowly but surely redressing in the customary green and white pinstripe shirt and black pants of the Las Noches uniform. "Look man, I'd love to see you and Zaraki-sensei go at it but Baraggan-san called me in last minute."

Sure, Kira had seen the redhead get dressed and undressed several times before but not since the life changing photos he was introduced to yesterday. Fortunately, his back was turned to Renji so he was able to hide his oncoming erection. The problem now would be trying to get out of the locker room without drawing attention to himself while simultaneously willing his hard-on away. "No, I can't refuse man!"

The blond gulped audibly as Renji chuckled into the phone slowly buttoning up his shirt now, unfortunately, concealing his formerly bare chest. "So Yumi made up with him? Yeah, it doesn't really take much to get him sated..."

"Oi!" Renji looked up at a panting Abirama barreling into the locker room. "What day is it?"

"Its Thursday." Kira replied closing his locker then heading to the toilet.

"Ah. That means its payday~" Shrugging, the black-haired teen walked over to Renji seated on the bench. "Abarai~" He gently rested his chin between the redhead's neck and left shoulder.

"Hey Redder, you'd better not be sexually harassing Renji because I will not hesitate to fuck you up! Comprende?" Grimmjow's voice rang in on the other side of the phone. Abirama sighed moving his head then headed to his locker where he proceeded to get dressed. He probably should have placed his head on the other side of Renji, the side that the phone wasn't on, but how was he supposed to know Renji was talking to the blue-haired teen in the first place – although he should have guessed. Renji rarely used a cellphone because he and Grimmjow were usually in one another's company. But more importantly how did the blue-haired teen suspect that he was doing anything to Renji to make such a specific threat?

"Oi!" Ggio opened the door surveying his surroundings. "What the hell are you chuckleheads doing in here? Baraggan-sama is about to have a fucking cow. Lets go!"

Abirama sighed closing his locker. "Where did Kira go? Wasn't he just here?"

Renji held the phone away from his ear despite Grimmjow's loud protests. "I saw him head to the can."

Abirama smirked, "is that so? I'll get him." With his smirk still in place, Abirama happily headed toward the bathroom area of the locker room.

Sighing, Ggio folded his arms over his chest and tilted his head to the right. "Hmm..."

Closing his locker, Sentarō walked over to Ggio. "Hey Vega. Why is he so damn happy? I can't recall a time I've even seen him form a conversation with Kira before."

Ggio glared at the black-haired man. "Well Abirama always likes getting in everyone's business so he's probably just trying to be 'friendly' because he knows how gloomy Kira is."

"Nah. That ain't it..." Sentarō, Renji, and Ggio exchanged glances. "They're on the schedule together a lot, even more than you and Renji-kun – well I don't know about more but almost as much."

Renji shrugged, "whatever. I'll be there in a second."

"Don't take too long. Lets go Kotsubaki."

"Aye aye."

"Yeah. I gotta go. What? Hell no I'm not getting you fuckers any kusa mochi. No, and I don't care how many pictures you give me." Renji sighed, "fine. I'll call you when I get on break, if I get a break." After hanging up and closing the phone, Renji shoved it in his pocket then stood up and stretched. "Redder—"

The black-haired teen's head popped up from around the corner. "I told you I got this one, you go ahead."

Renji's eyes narrowed but he complied walking out of the locker room. Sighing in relief, Abirama continued his trek to the bathroom and knocked on the only stall with feet poking out of them. "Yo, Kira, we gotta get to working. Can't you just rub one out at home? You live in the dorms don't you?"

The black-haired teen barely had time to react before he was being pulled into the stall by the normally melancholic blond. "Chillax man, no one is in here but us." Blue eyes narrowed. "You can't possibly be that easy to arouse."

"And you were perfectly fine with seeing Abarai getting dressed?"

"Hell no but I never was to begin with. I was always aware of how hot Abarai was its your own damn fault for being so oblivious." Abirama smirked, "but I doubt a prude like you is used to Abarai's level of sexiness anyway, and for the record—" Kira groaned as the black-haired teen cupped his straining hard-on palming it harshly causing the blond's knees to shake making him lean on the taller teen who sped up his ministrations. "Its not healthy keeping it bottled up like this, you gotta release at least twice a day."

"That's c-crazy!"

"No, that's normal." Abirama whispered licking his lips increasing the pressure on the appendage he was massaging, "anything less is crazy. I could ask Vega, Kotsubaki, Iemura, Apacci—"

"A-Apacci is a girl."

"Hm, really? I guess you'd never know – and anyway Vega's prettier. Ow! What the fuck?" The black-haired teen winced as Kira dug his fingernails into his shoulders hard enough to draw blood... which it did. "If you're gonna blow tell me don't go crushing my shoulders. I'm not into blood play!"

"I-I can't, I'll mess up my pants."

"Fucking prude..." Abirama easily hoisted the blond in the air and unbuttoned then subsequently pulled down is pants so that the blond was only wearing his briefs which were as boring as he was.

"Redder, Kira, where the fuck are you two?" Both Abirama and Kira froze as Vega's obnoxious voice rang through the entire locker room. "You big dumb neanderthal you'd better not be skipping out on working! Fuck!" Scowling, the black-haired teen kicked the bathroom door open then walked around ducking as he reached each stall in search of feet or some other body part. Tip-toeing, he looked up not spotting anything either. "Oh shit, I'm so dead. Boss is so going to fire me."

"Calm down shrimp." A vein throbbed on the black-haired teen's forehead. "I'm sure they're just loafing around the store." The blond poked his head into the bathroom doorway. "I mean its not like Redder could hide with his stature and personality."

Ggio shrugged, "I guess."

"Come on, lets get Choe-kun to get some stuff off the top shelves in the backroom then bend down to bring it to us. That's always good for a laugh, right?"

"Yeah, I mean how odd is it to have a 390cm guy."

As the locker room closed both teens breathed a sigh of relief, "I figured you would be into that whole getting caught feeling?" The black-haired teen looked up at the blond still in his arms.

"Must be you since you're still hard."

"That's because you never stopped touching me."

The black-haired teen smirked, "I didn't did I?" Bringing the blond impossibly closer he moved Kira's left leg over his shoulder so that his brief clad crotch was within mouth distance.

"Y-You can't be—"

"Look, its the only way I could get you off fast enough to get back to work."

"We didn't start working."

"Now is not the time to get smart with me."

"But— oh shit!" The blond screamed immediately clamping a hand over his mouth stifling the rest of his moans. Abirama had latched onto his clothed cock like a dog with a chew toy then started nipping, licking, and sucking without remorse. Kira had the feeling Abirama's big mouth had to be useful in situations like this but he didn't know it was that useful.

Pressed against the wall with his hands clamped over his mouth, Kira had to bite his lip as Abirama's giant hands caressed his underwear clad ass. Blue eyes widened as one of those giant fingers nudged his anus.

Just as he felt his release drawing near Abirama's mouth suddenly detached itself from his crotch. "Fuck, I can't breathe." After a few deep breaths, the black-haired teen returned to his previous task until he forced the oncoming orgasm from the blond who not only bit his lip to quell his screams but also clawed Abirama's shoulders as well as the blond's own arms.

"Dammit Kira, what did I tell you about scratching me?" Sighing, the black-haired teen lowered Kira onto the floor and he almost instantly collapsed onto the floor. "Oh fuck." Chuckling, he helped the blond up so that they were leaning against one another. "Getting you off made me get off."

Blue eyes looked down at the stain on the black-haired teen's black and red boxer briefs subconsciously wondering when the hell he took his pants off. Abirama tilted the blond's head up so they were looking one another in the eye. Smirking, Abirama leaned forward capturing Kira's lips in a heated kiss.

Kira moaned into the kiss barely managing to dominate the kiss the taller teen initiated. With the apparent need for air making itself present the teen's forcibly detached their mouths then allowed their breathing to return to normal.

"Fuck Kira." Abirama grinned quickly pressing his lips against the blond's again. "Put your pants on so we can work."

Nodding, the blond found his discarded pants on the floor then allowed Abirama to help him put them on. Even though both teens had wiped off the excess remnants of their release Kira still felt the stickiness with every step he took. Grimacing, he stopped Abirama from leaving. "We can't leave together."

"Are you shitting me?" Sighing, Abirama slowly opened the door slightly. Making certain the coast was clear he grabbed Kira by the wrist throwing him out of the locker room onto the main floor. Despite the fact that no one saw him Kira glared at the shrugging black-haired teen.

"Kira!"

The blond jumped holding a hand against his heart inadvertently glaring at the idiot who scared him. "Damn dude, jumpy much?" The black-haired teen shook her head. "You haven't seen Redder have you? Vega's going nuts looking for him. Anyway—"

"Apac-chin!"

"Fuck, I'm on my way Calius." The black-haired teen sighed, "damn pain in the ass. Anyway let Vega know when you see Redder, we need his tall ass to reach some of the high shelves—"

"Apacci!"

"Fuck! Dammit Calius didn't I just tell you I'd be right there?"

As the black-haired teen walked off all the while cursing out the long-haired blond that kept calling her, Kira sighed silently wondering how half the employees on the payroll got hired when they were undoubtedly foul-mouthed delinquents that never hesitated to tell off customers when the situation called for it. Then again Las Noches wasn't a place well known for it is good customer service.

"Kira, to the register please!" The blond looked up at the loudspeaker recognizing Vega's voice and the way he was practically forced to say please. For all the shit he spoke about Redder he was equally loud, if not louder. Kira's eyes widened. He couldn't have possibly just defended a guy he was pretty sure hated him not more than ten minutes ago?

Shaking his head he trudged toward the register seeing the black-haired teen sprawled over the counter. "I know business is slow but you can't just up and disappear without telling—" Amber eyes narrowed at the customer standing behind the blond, "hold up a sec."

Nodding, Kira moved out the way allowing Ggio to ring up the customer and engaging in idle small talk. Once the man disappeared Ggio sprawled out against the counter again. "With you leaving I'm glued to this damn spot!"

Because Las Noches was so damn big they required several employees per shift, despite being a described as a 24-hour convenience store the store wasn't open on Wednesdays, and it wasn't open all day on Thursday or Sunday so everyone scheduled for those two days worked the same shift. As today happened to be Thursday at least nine employees were walking around the store aimlessly. Baraggan never stated why the store had such weird ass hours and no one actually thought to ask, all that mattered was half day Thursday was also pay day~

"Sorry."

Ggio waved him off, "don't apologize man, its cool. Its just—"

"Vega-kun~" Amber eyes looked up at the purple-haired teen leaning against the counter. "Why didn't you tell me you were working today?" The tall teen in front of the counter batted his eyelashes which made Ggio sigh.

"I'm so not in the mood for this."

"Hello Chuhlhourne...chan."

"Oh, Kira-kun, you're looking as melancholic as usual."

Ggio rolled his eyes. "That's his usual face Char."

"Oh. Well its suits him." Ggio facepalmed. "Anyway, I need you to do me a favor Vega-kun." The black-haired teen rose an eyebrow.

"If this is about Abirama you can sure as hell forget it."

"Oh come on, Redder isn't seeing anyone." Ggio rose an eyebrow, "I understand you two have been best—"

Ggio covered the purple-haired teen's mouth with both of his hands. "That's not something I state in public."

"Wait a minute... you and Redder are friends?"

Amber eyes narrowed at blue. "If I had another hand I'd cover your mouth too. Yes, Abirama and I are best friends. Damn, do I need to shout it from the rooftops?"

"Damn Vega, one would never think you two would be besties."

Apacci grinned until she was on the receiving end of a bear hug by the purple-haired teen. "Oh Emilou-chan!"

"Can't... breathe!"

"Oops." Chuckling he released the black-haired teen. "Its so good seeing you, did you stop going to pottery class?"

"No." The black-haired teen straightened herself out, "I'm still around. Harribel-sama is one hell of a teacher, not to mention she'd probably break my arms if I quit."

"Anyway!" Ggio interrupted. "I'm not setting you two up, end of discussion."

"Why? Are you interested in Redder?"

"What? Ew! I mean, we fuck around and whatever but its nothing serious." The black-haired teen shrugged, "besides he pops a boner whenever he sees Abarai now."

"Well Abarai-kun is rather attractive." Both Apacci and Ggio rose an eyebrow at the purple-haired teen. "What? I have a thing for muscular men."

"As if you need to be around more muscle Char?" Apacci shook her head, "anyway on the subject of Abarai I hear a certain someone is holding out on us." She poked Ggio in the cheeks. "Baraggan-sama told us about some pictures he showed you, Kira, and Redder."

"I didn't see the pictures with Abirama the first time because I was at the tea school, he showed them to me the next day."

"Whatever." Heterochromatic eyes turned to the blond. "You saw them too, so out with it? Was Abarai really drool worthy?"

"I-I can't tell you."

"What?" Apacci cracked her knuckles. "Fine. If you won't tell me I'll get someone who will." Turning on her heels, the black-haired teen stomped off.

"Fuck." Ggio shook his head then stared at the purple-haired teen staring at him. "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

"I'd much rather take a picture of Redder." Ggio facepalmed. "Oh look, you have a customer." Grinning at Ggio, the purple-haired teen merrily walked off.

"Kira." The blond turned to him, "don't let Char near Abirama understand?"

"But I—"

"Look, I'll owe ya one okay? Just make sure they don't go near one another, especially alone." Suppressing the urge to sigh the blond nodded then walked off in the same direction the taller teen did.

Once he finished stacking items on the top shelf, Renji watched Kira sprint after one of their regulars. Fortunately, he wasn't a cashier like Kira, Ggio, or Apacci so he wasn't glued to a particular spot and therefore was free to walk around the store often fixing it up; of course he, like the other employees, was trained to use the cash register in case a regular cashier wasn't available which wasn't that often since sharing registers wasn't allowed even though some employees did it with their close friends that wouldn't think of stealing from them.

"So, working hard or hardly working?"

Renji sighed, "I'm honestly sick of hearing that line senpai." Grinning, Shūhei slung an arm over Renji's shoulder. "So what are you here for?"

"This is a convenience store, isn't it? I'm out of food. One of the perks of living alone is that you don't have to buy a lot of food."

"That's something I would know nothing about."

As Renji sighed Shūhei patted him on the back. "Speaking of houses and whatnot, isn't your lease almost over?"

"Oh shit, you're right!"

"I remembered because mine is almost up too; its crazy because when the year is over I'll be homeless."

"Just renew your lease, or better yet we could go looking for an apartment big enough for the six of us."

The black-haired teen tapped his chin. "I wouldn't mind living with you guys, but does it have to be an apartment? I mean... combined we should make enough money to get a house. A big, fancy one."

"A big, fancy house inhabited by six unruly teenagers?"

"Good point."

"E-Excuse me?" Blinking, Renji and Shūhei looked down at the girl wearing a white and gray high school uniform – if the redhead remembered correctly that was the uniform for the students of Karakura High School; he, Yumichika, and Grimmjow fought enough students from that school to recognize the uniform. "Do you happen to know where Rukongai University is? I'm supposed to meet my brother at the cafeteria."

"Uh—"

"Now I know what they mean by convenience, I've been looking for purple pens every...where?" The black-haired teen paused mid-step openly gaping at Renji then Shūhei then back at Renji. "Y-You're... y-you two are from seireitei!"

"Aren't you a bit young for seireitei?" The black-haired teen continued to stare and the blond sighed.

"S-Sorry about this, my sister isn't usually this ...me like. I'm usually the first to get shell shocked in front of celebrities." The blond bowed. "I'm Kurosaki Yuzu and this is my sister Karin."

"Kurosaki?" Yuzu nodded. "This brother, his name is Ichigo?" Yuzu nodded. "I don't think he's at Rukongai, if I know Grimmjow – and sadly I do – he's at the Hueco Mundo dojo with a bunch of my friends."

Karin snapped out of her stupor. "J-Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow?" Renji nodded. "Wow..."

"But..." Renji began, "its closed. Grimmjow and the new sensei are sparring and I guess your brother is one of the witnesses."

Karin snapped her fingers in disappointment, "I knew we should have skipped school to see him."

"Yeah..." Shūhei began, "shouldn't you two be in school?"

"Classes let out early." Yuzu chirped. "So we decided to surprise Ichi-nii for lunch, uh dinner."

Renji nodded, despite not fully understanding what the girls were telling him. Karin sighed, "I guess we better get home before dad sends out a search party again. Hey, if you see Ichigo or see someone who would see Ichigo tell him we're looking for him?"

"Got it."

"Thanks."

"Nice meeting you Abarai-san! Hisagi-san!" Yuzu waved while dragging her reluctant sister away. Smirking, Renji shook his head. They were cute kids, must take after their brother which would explain Grimmjow's interest in the orange-haired teen. Not that Renji blamed his blue-haired best friend, they had similar tastes due to the fact that they were almost always in one another's company so if Renji found Ichigo attractive then Grimmjow undoubtedly had to.

"Check it out man, we're celebrities to high school girls."

"I'm not sure that's something to be happy about..."

"_Abarai~!_" Renji looked up at the ceiling frowning, "_**please** come to register one._"

"We'll talk more about living together when I get off work."

"Sweet. I'll uh... let you get back to doing whatever you were just doing. I gotta get some snacks because I'm kinda hungry." Renji shook his head as the black-haired teen disappeared down one of the aisles.

The redhead turned around heading to the front of the store but froze when he almost bumped into someone and not just any someone... the iemoto of the tea school who was also the guy he was paid to loosen up – even if he wasn't entirely certain how to go about doing that.

Byakuya casually rose an eyebrow looking up at the taller teen. Their first encounter didn't exactly give him an opportunity to see the redhead fully, and their second encounter was worse than the first because the redhead was seated seiza style, either way Byakuya honestly didn't remember the redhead being this tall! He had to be a good eight or nine centimeters taller than he was. But height really wasn't the conflict of interest at this point.

"C-Can I help you?" Byakuya's eyes narrowed at the way the redhead's voice cracked, although he didn't really know how the redhead sounded because this was the first time they even spoke to one another even though they did kiss thirty seconds after meeting.

"As a matter of fact you can." The redhead's eyes widened as Byakuya grabbed him by the collar pulling him down and kissing him. That damn infuriatingly brief kiss at the cultural festival had been on his mind since it happened, and Kuchiki Byakuya didn't like harping on things. Satisfied, the black-haired teen released the taller teen straightening out his collar. "I just had to return something to you." With that, he turned on his heels and walked down another aisle.

_"Abarai!_" Renji snapped out of his stupor as Loly's annoying voice screeched over the loudspeaker reverberating through the entire store.

As usual, the damn girl was completely impatient and butting in as Ggio called him to the register not even five minutes ago. The worse thing was that she was far more annoying than Apacci – if that was even possible. "_Dammit, give me that!_" Ggio cleared his throat, "_I apologize for my co-worker, now Abarai-kun to register one. Thank you._"

Renji walked over to the register spotting the amber eyed teen sprawled out against the counter. For some reason Ggio liked doing that especially since he fit so perfectly with his height. He, surprisingly, may not have been the shortest employee at Las Noches but Ggio was the only employee who was just the right size to be able to lay over the counter completely. When Apacci used to do it she often got stuck because she couldn't get down and when any of the other, shorter than Ggio, girls tried to do it their long hair usually got caught in the cash register. "Oh, there you are. My short ass can't reach the balloons and Kira's trying to keep Char away from Abirama. Not that he's tall enough to each them either."

"Why?"

"Why what? Oh, why else? The damn drag queen is trying to get into his pants... or have Abirama get in his pants? I'm not exactly sure how it works but I have to avoid it at all costs."

"Right. Who do you need balloons for?"

"Him." Renji slowly looked over his shoulder at Byakuya leaning against the counter of register six. It was a good distance from the first register but not good enough.

"Son of a bitch!" Ggio rose an eyebrow at Renji expecting the redhead to explain his outburst, "huh? Oh, nothing."

"Anyway, tea school or not I am not getting scolded again, he is all yours."

Grumbling under his breath, Renji trudged over to the iemoto. He honestly didn't expect to see him so soon after their second kiss but work was work. "What balloons do you need?"

Byakuya looked him up and down before simply pointing up. Directly above the black-haired teen wasn't just one balloon but a whole slew of them. Renji guesstimated the iemoto was about 180cm so even jumping he wouldn't be able to reach the balloons and if Renji knew Ggio, which he did considering the four months they got acquainted with this job and seireitei at the same time (because Renji had only been working here for four months), the short teen tried to get the balloons but only ended up making the situation worse.

Excluding Choe – who never left the backroom – Renji was the tallest employee of Las Noches even though Abirama and Kotsubaki were not even three full centimeters shorter than he was so everyone always called him to get their shit that was too high for them to reach. Even Abirama asked Renji to get something for him a few times, which really didn't make any sort of sense no matter how you looked at it.

Suppressing the urge to sigh, Renji easily got the balloons without even tiptoeing. Ggio and a few of the other shorter employees clapped and marveled at this which made Renji sigh outwardly.

Turning around he gave the balloons to Byakuya who was smirking at him and there was something about that smirk that didn't sit well with the eighteen-year-old. "Thank you." He looked down at the name tag on the left side of Renji's shirt. "_Renji_." Not only did he say Renji's name in a delectably sinful way but his gray eyes locked onto Renji's brown as he said it.

Renji gulped audibly and unable to use his voice he only nodded. Byakuya nodded back heading to Ggio's register.

Shaking out of his stupor Renji looked up at the intercom cackling on loudly. "_All Las Noches employees, not at a register, please report to my office immediately._"

Ggio sighed – even if the boss called the majority of today's employees to his office he would be excluded because he was stuck at the register until who know when.

The seven employees, minus Ggio and Apacci, stood nervously inside Baraggan's tiny office. "Relax, none of you are in trouble." The group let out a collective sigh of relief. "Now, the holidays are coming up meaning more people will be in the shopping mood. Because of this – starting tomorrow – we are extending our hours to being open every day, all day until the twenty-sixth of the month."

Everyone's jaw dropped. "In addition to this every employee will only be getting one day off per week for the next three weeks... unless an emergency arises. Fortunately the twenty-sixth is a Thursday so you will be getting paid when the store hours return to normal. I expect all of you to work your hardest and of course inform the other employees of this news."

The group nodded. "Good. Now get back to work."

"Oh wait!" Loly suddenly shrieked, "we will be getting breaks though, right Baraggan-sama?"

"Of course you'll be getting breaks. Thirty minutes, depending on how busy the store is. Your schedule will be posted up before the day is over, do not – I repeat – do not forget to take a look and tell your friends."

Nodding, everyone headed out of the office then resumed their previous position. "Yo Ggio, you are not going to believe what Baraggan-sama has us doing!" The amber eyed teen casually rose an eyebrow at his supposed best friend. "The store is going to be open twenty four hours a day for the next three weeks because of the holidays."

"What?"

Abirama nodded. "The schedule is going to be posted later today, and apparently we can't take a sick day unless its an emergency – not to mention we only get one day off per week. Meaning we'll only be out of this store three days during the next three weeks."

"Shit, wouldn't it be something if the store wasn't busy?"

"Yeah, but its always busy..." Both black-haired teens sighed. "And I was supposed to do some Christmas shopping."

Ggio facepalmed. "Crap, so was I."

"Of course you were, we were going to go together."

"I forgot, oh well..." The shorter teen shrugged, "we can always do some late shopping."

"True."

… …

"Dammit, if seireitei took female employees I would be making some serious cash right now ...instead of working at a fucking dojo teaching a bunch of brainless idiots! The damn nerve, who let them into the dojo in the first place? Everyone should know what a karategi is! Especially students who wear them!"

"But I thought you worked at a different dojo Tatsuki?"

Said teen huffed, "I did. But since Zaraki-sensei came over here the old dojo did too. Now I have to work with a bunch of maniacs I know nothing about." She glared at Keigo who shrunk back, "how did you of all people get to work for seireitei?"

"W-Well Kyōraku-san said he liked me so I got the job."

"Let me see your phone." Despite being confused by the request, Keigo dug into his pocket and took out the phone issued to him by Kyōraku; it was the same model as the other employees of seireitei but each employee got to choose their own case so Keigo's phone was green. The taller teen inspected the cased phone all the while frowning. "Damn sexist website..."

"N-No, you read the FAQ's section, women weren't that popular." Tatsuki huffed again, "b-but maybe if you can convince a few people to ask about female employees you can increase their popularity and add some employees to seireitei."

"I doubt it. I definitely wouldn't want to have phone sex with a girl."

"Of course you wouldn't!"

"Besides, there are dozens of companies that focus on female phone sex operators."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

"Idiot! 'Seireitei is a cross between phone sex operators and internet hosts!' Who wouldn't want to have a job like that?"

"Then maybe its because female hosts aren't that popular?" Tatsuki cracked her knuckles, "I-I'm just saying..."

"Shut up for a second, check out the group coming in. Why are Ichigo, Chad and—"

"Tatsuki-chan, I've come to see you~"

The black-haired teen's right eye twitched. "I see that." Tatsuki sighed as Chizuru ran over to her affectionately hugging her roommate.

Keigo's head whipped around toward the entrance. In addition to Ichigo and Chad, Grimmjow and Yumichika from seireitei were walking in and Ikkaku and Mizuiro were behind them with the latter beaming from ear to ear. A few students who were practicing their fighting stances paused to take in the group.

"Psst." Keigo slowly turned to Tatsuki who was still being hugged by the bespectacled redhead. "I'm guessing Ichigo's not as big as a prude as we originally thought, unless he's putting up a front."

"Yun-Yun, Fangs!" Yumichika's eyes widened as he found himself with a bundle of pink hair. "We went to the tea school but couldn't go in with you but that doesn't matter since you guys are back." Yachiru looked around. "Where are tats and scarecrow, oh and whiskers?"

"They couldn't make it?"

Blinking, the pink-haired girl looked over Yumichika's shoulder at Ichigo, Ikkaku, Chad, and Mizuiro. "Who are they? Replacements?"

"N-No!"

"I'm Mizuiro and these are my friends Ichigo, Chad, and Ikkaku."

"Ichigo?" She looked the redhead up and down, "so its Ichi!" She jumped from Yumichika's arms into Ichigo's nuzzling the redhead's chest. "My name is Zaraki Yachiru." She glanced at the others briefly. "Zu-Zu, Muscles, and **Baldy**."

Chad and Mizuiro had to restrain Ikkaku from lashing out at the pink-haired girl.

"Damn Ichigo, as usual you're popular with the ladies." The redhead sent a glare in the direction of the black-haired teen walking up to him, "did you come to see me work?"

"I thought you worked at a different dojo? It was near that ice cream shop."

"I had to relocate because of Zaraki-sensei."

"Hold up." Tatsuki and Ichigo turned to Grimmjow, "you worked for Zaraki before?" Tatsuki nodded. "Badass... wait, I saw you at the cultural festival with the big guy."

"Yup and he's with you." She looked between Ichigo and Grimmjow, "what's going on here?"

"I'm gonna fight Zaraki and Berry's medical support."

"B-Berry?" At that Ikkaku and Chad couldn't help but turn around toward the redhead who facepalmed.

"That's better than Ichi." Ichigo glared at Yachiru who was still in his arms. "Berry, berry, berry!"

"Wait a minute!" Eyes widening, Tatsuki turned back to Grimmjow. "Did you say you were going to fight Zaraki-sensei?" Grimmjow nodded, "you'll need a lot more than medical support, you'll need an entire medical staff! The last guy that wanted to 'spar' with Zaraki-sensei ended up with thirty-two broken bones including a crushed pelvis, not to mention severe bruising!"

"Don't worry about it doll, I don't bruise easily besides I'm not just some weakling I've taken Tōsen's shit for years and still came out unscathed...mostly. I'll take whatever Zaraki's got."

"I'll alert the hospital of your arrival." Grimmjow, Chad, Yachiru, Mizuiro, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Ichigo watched Tatsuki walk off in the direction of the office.

"I guess I'll call Starrk and Shinji to see if they can come."

"I'll come with you." Yachiru hopped back into Yumichika's arms. "There's a phone in the office."

"Okay."

"Yumi?" The black-haired teen looked over his shoulder at Grimmjow, "you think the spares are still around?"

"Could be." He nodded at Grimmjow before walking off.

"Fangs, I'll tell Ken-chan you're here!"

Grimmjow nodded at the pink-haired girl then turned to Ichigo's group.. "Right, you guys should get dressed and whatever. I got my own locker room working here."

"But—"

"That sounds like an excellent idea." Mizuiro grabbed Ichigo's hand. "Come on everyone, we'll only be a minute~" Grimmjow nodded at the black-haired teen who dragged Ichigo toward the locker room on the opposite end of the dojo.

"This certainly is a nice development, I don't think I'll miss the tea school anymore, and maybe I should call a seireitei employee myself because this just isn't fair."

"What are you whining about?"

"Our little Berry here and Jaegerjaquez-san had hot chocolate together at a cosplay cafe, now Ichigo is seeing him half naked. All in all, one hell of a date if I do say so myself. Then there's you Ikkaku – I was certain he'd tear you a new one but everything ended a little too peacefully."

"Oh shut up."

"Its not a date."

Ikkaku and Mizuiro stared at Ichigo. "Huh?"

"Its. Not. A. Date. Well, it sort of is but its more of a do-over from the..." The redhead cleared his throat. "Whatever this is it doesn't matter."

"That reminds me... why didn't you tell us you called him to go out with you during the cultural festival?"

"I really didn't see the need to."

"Anyway, did you tell Jaegerjaquez-san that this isn't a date?" Ichigo sighed, "he seems to be into you ...then again you could never read the atmosphere."

"You're already giving Ichigo a reason to choke you Mizuiro, but keep talking and I'll join him."

"Before you get violent let me finish." Ikkaku cracked his knuckles signaling the shorter teen to continue with his point. "I'm just saying Ishida's jealously wasn't necessarily unwarranted though he did go about it stupidly... especially for a supposed genius." Ichigo rose an eyebrow, "you know all those people that Ishida would flirt with? Well, turns out they were actually interested in his boyfriend. By flirting with them it took their attention of Ichigo, even if it was only temporary. I notice the looks people give you." Mizuiro waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You're like a walking wet dream Ichi."

"Whatever—"

"Hey, since we're here do you think we can spar too?" Ikkaku, Ichigo, and Mizuiro stared at Chad who was pretty much as silent as usual since they entered the locker room.

"Probably but I don't want to spar with Ichigo or Ikkaku. Ichigo's been taking martial arts classes since he was seven and Ikkaku even earlier!"

Shaking their heads, Ikkaku and Ichigo changed into some spare karategi's hanging in the locker room. During their little conversation Chad had already changed. "Wait... don't leave me!" Mizuiro hastily changed into his karategi then stared at his companions. "Damn... if only I was more muscular." The black-haired teen sighed looking at his reflection in the mirror. Compared to the others he seemed downright puny.

Mizuiro followed the others out of the locker room and was amazed to see that the dojo was completely empty safe for Grimmjow, Zaraki, Yumichika, Yachiru, Tatsuki, Chizuru, himself, Chad, Ichigo, Ikkaku, and Keigo – whom he didn't notice was in the dojo before – all dressed in karategis. Yumichika was getting Grimmjow ready while Yachiru was doing the same with Zaraki.

"Lets get on with this thing already." Starrk announced walking out of the bathroom heading toward Grimmjow, "I have dinner plans. I normally don't like the sight of senseless violence but for Grimmjow I had to make an exception."

"Thanks. Where the hell is Hirako?"

"Apparently his stuff came in today so he had to get it before they threw it away."

"Right." The blue-haired teen cracked his knuckles. "If I'm incapacitated, tell Renji all my shit is his."

"No fair!" Yumichika pouted. "can't you at least divide your stuff between the three of us?"

"I think you should be saying he won't get hurt that badly."

Purple eyes glanced at blue-gray before turning to blue. "Right... what Starrk said. Go get 'em Grimmjow!" The blue-haired teen shook his head before stretching. "Look even if you lose I'm sure you'll get a few hits in." Grimmjow glared at him. "Uh... what I mean to say is you're like the biggest badass I've ever met; I've seen you fight ex-cons and weight lifters and come out the victor. But at the same time you can't win every fight."

"Duly noted."

"Glad we have an understanding."

"You bet we do Yumi." Grimmjow grabbed the effeminate teen's head then slammed their foreheads together, "dumbass."

"What the hell was that for? You know you're ridiculously hardheaded!" Whimpering, Yumichika cradled his forehead in his hands. "Its not easy being the smallest and the youngest."

Zaraki stood taking Yachiru off his shoulders and placing her on the ground, "you ready to go kid?"

"I was born ready."

Before the blue-haired teen could lunge at his boss, the previously locked dojo front door swung open. "I should have known you would be starting trouble on your first day Zaraki!"

With the exception of the aforementioned man, the other occupants of the dojo stared wide-eyed at the newcomer. He was clad in a kimono and had an undershirt underneath so that no part of his body was visible including his hands which he wore gloves on, he also wore a helmet that concealed his entire face.

"How many times have I told you not to interrupt my fights wolf boy?"

"As arrogant as ever I see. Now you know why your dojo got closed down."

"I wouldn't be talking so high and mighty if I were you, your dojo got shut down too."

"True—"

"Its Koma-Koma!" Yachiru ran over to the newcomer. "What's with that stupid head piece? I wanna see your doggy face!"

"She's still as incorrigible as you are." He picked up the pink-haired girl by the head, lifted her to presumably eye level, then popped an oversized lollipop into her mouth to stop her incessant fidgeting before returning her on the ground. The man turned toward the still frozen teens. "Are these your students?"

"Some of them are."

"I am Komamura Sajin." He pointed at the standing blue-haired teen, "you must be Jaegerjaquez, Tōsen-san spoke highly of you."

"So I've heard."

"If you're done, we were in the middle of something."

"Of course. Don't let me stop you."

"Who was that guy?"

"Komamura is the co-sensei here."

"Co?"

"Yeah, we used to run rival dojos that both got closed down so here we are. But enough talk, we came to fight!"

The absurdly tall, extremely covered man returned the office to sit amongst the spectators. Yachiru merely waved a green flag then darted off next to the man she called 'Koma-Koma.'

Big pink eyes looked up at the concealed man. "Can I see your face now?"

"No."

Pouting, Yachiru folded her arms behind her head. After a few seconds she turned to the man but before she could say anything he stuffed an oversized melon pan partially into her mouth effectively shutting her up. Komamura frequently carried sweets around in places he figured he would see Zaraki and his ward because the pink-haired girl was quite the chatterbox that loved to harass him every chance she got.

"Kuma-kun?" Komamura looked down at Yachiru's beaming face with crumbs all over her mouth and a few in her hair. "You always have the best snacks!"

"Is that why you are so prone to harassing me?"

"Nope. Its because you need to loosen up!" Yachiru prodded the man with her finger. Being with Zaraki for so long, the girl was definitely fearless. "If no one else, would you let me see your face?"

"No."

"But—"

Komamura stuffed another melon pan into her mouth then returned to the sight in front of him.

Left of the covered man was Yumichika propping his hand against his chin sighing. As badly as he wanted to see the fight his mind was distracted with other thoughts. "What's wrong?" Purple eyes glanced at Ikkaku who was seated beside him.

"I just realized that you owe me." Ikkaku blinked at him, "for putting me through this. I expect you to take me out."

"Like on a date?"

"Obviously. We can double date with Berry and Grimmjow!"

Ikkaku folded his arms over his chest. Ichigo was seated between Tatsuki and Chad talking to them. The redhead probably wasn't going to like this particular stipulation but Ikkaku really couldn't find a reason to give a damn – he put up with Ishida's bullshit for years solely because he was dating one of his best friends so it was only logical that Ichigo would have to repay those kind, friendly favors."

"That's fine."

Yumichika beamed but that only lasted for a few seconds because Grimmjow's phone started buzzing in his hand loudly; the blue-haired teen gave Yumichika his phone since he honestly wouldn't be able to answer it. "Moshi moshi."

"Is Grimmjow still fighting Zaraki-sensei?"

"Yes Shinji, why?"

"You said you were bringing some mochi and I'm hungry."

"What the fuck? Are you shitting me?"

"I already made dinner and am waiting for my dessert and my roommates!"

Yumichika paused at the completely unexpected answer he just received. He had expected Shinji to whine, as usual, about everyone leaving him out of the festivities. That was usually the route he took in high school since he was the odd man out being in a different class during the last two years. "What did you make for dinner?"

"Nabe."

Yumichika's eyes widened. "Grimmjow wrap it up, lets go. Shinji made us dinner."

"Dinner?" Yachiru chirped. "Kenny lets get some dinner, what is it?"

"Nabe."

"Sweet!" Nodding, Zaraki grabbed Grimmjow's foot before it could make contact. "You're amazing fangs, thirty whole minutes of fighting and you're still standing! We gotta do this again sometime."

Yumichika looked down at the pink-haired girl in his lap. "Sure, but I am curious about what you wanted to do instead of this."

"Hm?" Yachiru tilted her head, "you know I'm not sure."

"I'm still on the line you know!"

"What's that? Oh, yeah. We're on our way and I guess we're bringing guests."

"Is Renji with you?"

"No. He's at work, that Baraggan guy called him last minute and you know how you can't say no to that guy."

"Ah, should I save him some?"

"Hell no. I'll see you later."

"But!"

Yumichika hung up on the blond. "Okay people, lets roll."

About an hour later Shinji stared in awe at the number of people occupying their kotatsu for four; since five people now lived in this apartment the last roommate to get to the kotatsu had to either cover themselves with a bunch of blankets they scrounged around from somewhere in the apartment or share a side with someone. But this... this was ridiculous!

Before diving into the pot introductions were given and hands were shaken – after being washed.

At least three people were sharing a side of the kotatsu stuffing their faces and it was a miracle it didn't break with all the feet trying to fit underneath. Shinji opted to sit away from the kotatsu that had been out since the day after his return to Japan because the damn apartment was starting to get cold. Sure he was freezing but it was better than the platonic orgy around the kotatsu.

"Sit with us Hirako-san!" Mizuiro yelled beckoning the blond closer. "There's plenty of room." That Mizuiro guy was basically draped over Keigo – whom he had the pleasure of meeting during the photo shoot at seireitei yesterday; as spacey as he was, the brunet seemed like a pretty decent guy ...which was a major contrast to the people Shinji normally hung out with. Seated in that section with them was the big guy they called Chad.

Berry, as Grimmjow and subsequently Starrk and Yumichika (and possibly Renji), called him was – obviously – sandwiched between the blue-haired teen and Yumichika and the bald teen introduced as Ikkaku; Starrk, that bespectacled redhead Chizuru and Komamura-sensei were seated together and finally that Tatsuki girl had Yachiru in her lap and they were seated next to Zaraki who couldn't fit fully under the kotatsu even if he had a side all to himself; not that Komamura-sensei could fit under there by himself either since he was actually bigger than Zaraki.

"Yeah, you can sit with Starrk-kun and Komamura-sensei. Chizuru-chan can sit with Tatsuki-kun."

Chizuru nodded moving across the kotatsu to squeeze in with Tatsuki, Yachiru, and Zaraki. Shrugging, Shinji took the offered spot next to the still fully covered man and the wavy-haired teen.

Shinji rose an eyebrow trying to figure out how the man ate when whatever he had on his face covered every part. Yachiru seemed to be just as interested as she kept flicking things at Komamura's head piece. Shinji contemplated joining her but he wasn't certain how the large man would act, in fact he seemed as though he would snap at any moment.

"Boo!" Yachiru pouted slumping back against Tatsuki. "You're as stubborn as usual..."

"Yachiru-chan." The pink-haired girl looked up at Chizuru. "How old are you?"

"Hm? I'm seven." She leaned back in Tatsuki's lap, "and I will be eight in February."

"How cute~" Despite not being the type to like cute things, Tatsuki couldn't help but hug Yachiru even as the pink-haired girl was stuffing her face. Chizuru affectionately patted the pink-haired girl's head ruffling her hair.

Yachiru smiled into the fourth melon pan Komamura provided her with. Kenpachi 'adopted' her because the, at the time, two-year-old was alone in the alley starving; all the other senseis at the dojos where the tall man worked cooed and gave the little girl candy and some of the mothers of the students there cuddled with their human teddy bear – as some of the guests would call her. Even the most stoic individuals would hug her affectionately; not that Yachiru minded all the attention, and she especially didn't mind the free snacks. Everyone just ate up the cute act; it was in contrast to Kenny's badass persona.

The pink-haired girl yawned. "Ken-chan, I'm getting tired. Lets go."

"Right." The spiky haired man nodded getting up from the kotatsu towering over everyone. "Same time tomorrow, kid?"

Grimmjow grinned, "you bet sensei."

Yachiru happily climbed atop Zaraki's left shoulder. "Lets go Koma-Koma!" A sigh was heard from the still covered man before he stood as well, towering higher than Zaraki.

Ichigo cleared his throat, sending a glare Keigo's way. "W-We should be going too."

Mizuiro nodded leaning further into Keigo. "Its sorta late and the campus has a curfew."

Tatsuki looked at her watch, "its not even..." She bit her lip as presumably Mizuiro, by the look he was giving her, kicked her under the kotatsu. Sighing, Tatsuki shook her head. "We have to study for exams and whatever."

"Shit, that's true!" Yumichika facepalmed.

"Bye, bye everyone!" Yachiru waved as she, Komamura, and Zaraki exited the apartment.

Mizuiro, Keigo, Chizuru, Chad, Ikkaku and Tatsuki stood; Yumichika put an arm on Ichigo's shoulder. "I know this great barbecue spot we should head there tomorrow."

"We?"

"Ikkaku didn't tell you? We're going on a double date."

"D-D-Date?"

"Yeah, you and Grimmjow and me and Ikkaku."

Paling, Ichigo turned to the now grinning blue-haired teen. It was only obvious he heard sitting next to Yumichika. "We're going on a date?"

"Of course we are."

Grinning, Grimmjow nodded. "I'm looking forward to it."

Ichigo gulped, "that makes one of us."


	7. Omake: Double Date Night

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction, that's why I stay up until three in the morning writing.

A/N: Confused about the blatant time skip between chapter six and seven? No worries, this chapter was created just for said confusion. May I present, **chapter 6.5** - now, for the record, like most omakes this chapter doesn't necessarily tie to the storyline but it doesn't deviate from it; as this is a "bonus" (half)chapter it does not need to be read, however it does give some clarity about some things happening in chapter seven. This chapter was created because chapter six was too damn long and I didn't want to continue chapter six's antics onto seven and I mean chapter six is _really long._

Now chapter 6.5 takes place during the same day as chapter six as well as the next day...

* * *

"_When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."  
-Matt Groening_

* * *

"Two weeks... its been about two weeks, right? Give or take?" Amber eyes glanced over the laptop at the excruciatingly tall idiot slumped forward taking up the majority of the tiny coffee shop table.

"What's been about two weeks?"

"The cultural festival at Rukongai." The pink-haired teen shrugged before turning his attention back to his laptop. "Dammit listen!" The black-haired teen forcibly lowered the laptop in front of Szayel. "I already got a black eye from that fucker, who knows what else he'll give me if I don't produce that prick Jaegerjaquez soon!"

"Nnoitra calm down; now, did Ulquiorra-kun specifically request that you, and only you, hand over Jaegerjaquez to him?" Nnoitra nodded. "I see... well then I suppose I should say it was a pleasure knowing you."

"Fuck, this shit isn't funny Szayel! Cifer is a science major, he could easily chop my balls off and leave the rest of my body in tact!"

"Almost anyone proficient with a knife or a sword could do the same."

"Then he could kill me and make it look like an accident!"

"Again, possible for someone else with the proper know how."

Nnoitra tapped his chin in thought. "Okay, I got one. He'll decapitate me, put my body back together, and do it all over again without batting an eyelash!"

Szayel paused before nodding, "maybe Ulquiorra-kun is the only one who might be able to do something like that but all you have to do is stay away from sharp objects and you'll be fine."

"You think so, huh?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Nnoitra sighed. "I didn't want to do this Szayel-chan but you forced my hand."

"What are you talking about?"

"If you don't help me with this I will make it seem as though me losing Jaegerjaquez at the cultural festival was entirely your fault."

"Oh? And how exactly will you accomplish that Nnoitra?"

"How?" The black-haired teen chuckled. "Its relatively simple. Cifer already knows we're fucking; I could say you ...distracted me into losing sight of him, which technically isn't a lie because that did happen." The pink-haired teen paled. "Now be a good little bedmate and tell me where I can find that bastard."

Szayel sighed, "alright you stupid jerk. I only have two possible leads aside from his apartment, which I do not know the location of." Nnoitra leaned impossibly closer onto the table. "I heard from Yylfordt-nii that he was at the tea school for the past two days so tomorrow you might want to go there; aniki also told me that he works at the Hueco Mundo Dojo. Oh, and for the record whether you find him or not you're not getting any from me today."

"What? Why the hell not?"

"Well, honorable Nnoitra-sama, you'll probably get fucked up by Ulquiorra-kun either way so why put you in any more pain?"

"Why would you give a fuck about that you are a sadist after all." Szayel shrugged nonchalantly. "By the way ...what's a tea school?"

"Exactly what is sounds like, dumbass. You know those tea ceremony things we were forced to attend in junior high?" The black-haired teen nodded slowly. "Its that only its an entire school dedicated to it instead of holding them in those tiny little club rooms. Now, the tea school is taught by the Kuchiki clan and I believe Byakuya-kun is the current iemoto that teaches newcomers in our age group."

"Kuchiki? Oh no. Oh_ hell_ no, I'm even more afraid of him than I am of Cifer. You go."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. All that bullshit you spoke about this partnership begin 'equal' and whatever, if I go down for this you'd better bet that sweet ass of yours that you're going down with me."

Szayel sighed, "you are unbelievable and I often ask myself why I bother having sex with the likes of you."

"Because I'm a sex machine?"

"That can't possibly be correct."

"Then its because you're a nymphomaniac." The pink-haired teen just stared at him. "Besides, you fucking treasure my balls and I doubt you'd want to see them cut off."

"Forget love, its the libido that's blind." Szayel shook his head. "Alright Nnoitra I will help you on one condition."

"And that would be?"

"When this ordeal is over, I want the sleeve and I'd better not hear you bitching about it later."

"Which sleeve?"

Szayel rolled his eyes, "you know the one I want."

Nnoitra sighed, "alright fine as long as you hold your end of the deal I'll hold mine. Fucking pervert..."

"Good." Szayel licked his lips, "I look forward to your end of the deal. Now, I'll need to buy a kimono because I heard Kuchiki will snap my neck if I don't wear one or he'll make me carry buckets against the wall high school style."

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were almost happy to go to the tea school Szayel."

"Come now Nnoitra-kun." Nnoitra glared at him. "Oh alright! I guess I am a bit happy because the only plus I could think of is seeing Kuchiki as well as Jaegerjaquez and his little entourage in loose fitting kimonos."

"You're really doing to talk about this sort of shit in front of your supposed boyfriend?"

"Yes. Because you talk about worse shit, you are a pervert after all."

"Ain't that the pot calling the kettle black? Talking about sex toys and whatnot?"

"I—" As if on cue, an adorable blond waiter bowed before placing down Szayel's cup of coffee then Nnoitra's, he bowed again before walking off with both teens staring at his ass as he walked off.

Nnoitra shook his head once the blond was out of sight, "what the... this is a fucked up relationship."

"Please, you knew what you were getting into when you asked me out." The pink-haired teen calmly sipped his coffee then handed it to Nnoitra who started drinking. "Anyway, I'm not a freeter like you are so I have classes I must attend. I shall check out the stupid tea school tomorrow but I'm not making any promises or anything."

The black-haired teen put the empty cup down smirking. "No promises necessary babe."

"I'll bet." Shutting the laptop closed, Szayel stood nodding to the black-haired teen. "I'll call you when class is over so we can look for a plain kimono."

"Got it."

… …

"I'm sorry I called you back here after you left but I have something important to discuss with you." Hanatarō stared at his boss in confusion. "Jūshirō-chin's birthday is in three weeks and I have no idea what to get him!" Hanatarō just stared at the brunet seated behind the desk. "You always have such good ideas so I figured you would be able to help me."

"I already told you what to get him Kyōraku." The black-haired teen nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the head of Rukongai's science division, Kurotsuchi Mayuri, now standing beside him. In a horror film like fashion the man slowly turned to Hanatarō grinning. "What do we have here? Yamada-kun, as always, it is a pleasure to see you."

Gulping, Hanatarō nodded not trusting his voice to fully respond. "Oh, you know Hanatarō-kun?"

"Of course I do. He is one of my many students after all, but he's one of the few that stand out." Hanatarō shrank back as Mayuri looked him over. "Needless to say I was surprised when I saw his page on the website ...showing such erotic pictures." Hanatarō gulped audibly. "Then again he is rather adorable, isn't he?"

"I know!" Kyōraku cleared his throat. "But that's not why we're here. I'm sorry Kurotsuchi-san but I don't think Jūshirō-chin would appreciate a chemistry set with homemade explosives and poisons."

"You'll never know unless you get it."

Kyōraku scratched his head, "tell you what. How about you get that for him and I'll think of something else?"

"Fine, but I hear Urahara-san is going all out – some kind of December birthday thing since his birthday is December also; to add fuel to the fire there is that huge crush he has on Ukitake, even though everyone in the school knew you two were an item."

Kyōraku sighed. "We weren't an item."

"Of course, Ukitake-kun wouldn't have it. Ooh!" Kyōraku rose an eyebrow at the grin the older man was giving him. There was something incredibly unsettling about the grin. "I know exactly what you should get Ukitake for his birthday."

"What is it?"

"It isn't exactly something I can say out loud in front of a minor." Both men turned to Hanatarō who gulped.

"I-I'll go. I have to work on the website some more." Bowing, the teen hastily made his exit out of the room and house.

"Okay." Grinning, Mayuri turned back to Kyōraku with the grin still etched on his face. "Well, my first child inappropriate idea would be for you to give him yourself or one of your seireitei calenders filled with nothing but pictures of you but I figured Ukitake would refuse. Then I though of giving him some ohagi?"

"What do you mean give him myself? You mean, like physically? As in third base?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of a home run – if we're speaking in baseball."

"Ah... yeah, he'd refuse. I only got as far as third base with Jūshirō-chin." Kyōraku sighed, "as for the ohagi everyone is going to give him that. I need something else. Something that will make him think that only my Kyōraku Shunsui-sama is capable of doing something like that! You know what I mean?"

"Hmm... how about bonsai? Ooh, or you could make him a garden; you know how he loves greenery..." Mayuri tapped his chin, "why am I giving you all these ideas? I should use them for myself."

"I could always give him a seireitei page, but that's more of a gift for myself."

"You could take him out on a date." Kyōraku blinked at him. "That's something only Kyōraku Shunsui-sama would be capable of. Then while you're at it you should think of a Christmas gift because its only four days later."

"Right... the date is more birthday-ish and the garden would be like for Christmas? Or would it be the other way around."

"Personally both have more of a birthday-esque charm." Kyōraku nodded in agreement. "You focus on the birthday and I will come through for you on Christmas. Do we have ourselves a deal?"

Gulping, Kyōraku nodded. Despite Mayuri's odd demeanor he was a trustworthy ally and he hadn't disappointed the brunet yet.

"Excellent, make the reservations for Ujimushi No Su—"

"Doesn't that mean Maggot's Nest?"

"Don't let the name fool you, its a wonderful place. My darling Nemu and I head there all the time."

"Nemu... ah yes, how is she?"

"Fine. In the top two percentage of all the second years, and the top five of the entire school, as expected from a Kurotsuchi."

"That's good, but you're only two years older than I am."

"So?"

"So... how could you have a nineteen-year-old daughter when you're only thirty?"

"She's obviously not my biological daughter."

"Right, it is obvious."

"And keep your voice down, I don't want anyone thinking I'm younger than I actually am. It lets the kiddies keep their guards down around me. They do things that 'old guys' wouldn't know about or understand then get surprised when I bust them for it. They're facial expressions are priceless and I enjoy it each time as though it were the first."

"I'll keep your secret, but we're at my home no one is here but us."

"You never know."

Kyōraku nodded. "I understand."

… …

The next day Ikkaku was awaken from a particularly pleasing dream... something about black-haired teens wearing nothing but pink frilly aprons making him a feast ...by the sound of several pots being clanged together loudly. Groaning, he sat up throwing on a t-shirt then trudging into the kitchen spotting Ichigo leaning against the kitchen counter. Due to his uncanny ability to sleep with little to no clothes on, Ikkaku opted for having his clothes near him when he woke up so he could just throw them on when he kicked off the covers. Ichigo was some sort of vampire or cold-blooded animal because he never liked keeping the heat on nor did he ever complain about the cold. "How could you..." The redhead muttered, it was barely audible and had they not been alone in the apartment Ikkaku doubted he would have heard what his roommate said.

"How could I what?"

"How could you agree to me going on a date with Grimmjow?"

"I didn't agree to that, I just didn't disagree." Ichigo slowly looked up glaring at his roommate. "Besides, you said you two weren't a couple or anything and you said you weren't into him so what's the big deal? _And_ lets not forget you dragging me to Ishida's piano recitals, his sewing classes, and all that other shit over the years; I tacked on all the favors you owe me, if you just do this then we'll be square."

"You're lying."

"Okay, but I'll take off at least half of them... three quarters even."

"Look, just because its clear skies all the way for your stupid 'friendship' with Yumichika that doesn't mean everyone else will flow so smoothly."

"Oh ho, what's this Ichigo? Don't tell me you actually _wanna_ be friends with Jaegerjaquez?" Ichigo's eyes widened briefly before he schooled his features. "You're a grade-A tease Ichi." Ikkaku nodded to himself. "Tell ya what, we can all go out ...as friends, does that sound good?"

"No, but you'll just keep harassing me until you go." The redhead sighed heavily. "Fine."

"Fucking sweet, I promise you won't regret this Ichigo."

"I sincerely doubt that."

"You two seriously need to go grocery shopping, there's nothing to eat here."

Ikkaku stared at the black-haired teen moving from in front of refrigerator to sit on the kitchen counter fixing himself something to eat. "Uh... don't you have your own dorm to go to?" Mizuiro shook his head before resuming his sandwich making. "Keigo isn't here you know." The shorter teen paused briefly before starting again.

"Why would I care about that?"

Ikkaku and Ichigo exchanged glances, "only because you had the hots for him since junior high?" The latter replied.

The black-haired teen chuckled, "what makes you think that?"

Ikkaku shook his head. "Its because you have that whole 'bully the one I like' mentality; you deliberately act like even more of an ass whenever Keigo is around because you don't know how else to act."

"Oh, so what you're saying is that I should clam up and be all nervous and twitchy like you were with Ayasegawa-san?" Ikkaku's right eye twitched. "I don't know where you got your information, but I don't like Keigo that way."

"Fucking bull. You're so far in denial you're lying to yourself!" Ikkaku shrugged, "but it doesn't really matter to me either way since Keigo isn't all that interested in you to begin with." Ikkaku couldn't help but smirk as the black-haired teen's eyes narrowed. "Come on Ichigo, we got a date to get ready for."

"Right... date." Ikkaku walked back into his room whistling, once he was gone Mizuiro grabbed the wobbling redhead's arm.

"Ichigo." Said teen slowly turned to the black-haired teen. The two teens stared at one another for a few seconds before Mizuiro sighed. "You enjoy your date." Patting the redhead on the shoulder, he returned to making a snack. Ichigo wobbled into the bedroom, then wobbled back out, wobbling into the bathroom. "Shit, I forgot this dorm only has one bedroom..." After making his sandwich and returning all the ingredients to their proper place, the black-haired teen unceremoniously plopped onto the couch frowning.

Of course he liked Keigo, who didn't like him? The brunet was so damn cheerful and hyperactive – totally sincerely friendly to every breathing creature that approached him. Throughout high school Mizuiro was known as a 'model student' he helped out senseis when they needed it and aided classmates with lower grades and crap like that; he didn't exactly know how but he sort of got stuck with being the good kid because of his innocent looks.

For anything non grade related everyone came to Keigo, even the senseis! Whether it was to see the brunet make a complete ass out of himself or to get his honest opinion on a new game or something. Most of the slackers looked up to Keigo like he was some sort of idol to idiots everywhere. He even gained his own little subtle fanclub during his second year

Mizuiro didn't like Keigo in a romantic or sexual way – at least he _didn't_ at first because he though the brunet was rather annoying, but Keigo's charm is quite alluring and incredibly contagious; and that goofy grin he was always sporting was oddly arousing. It wasn't as though he _wanted_ to want Keigo, but one can't control their hormones.

"Ichi!" Ikkaku came out of their joint bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door, "don't take all day. You know we gotta hit the tea school and the dojo before we go out."

"Oh!" Ikkaku slowly turned to the black-haired teen still sitting on the couch, "I have an all black kimono, I'll head to the tea school with you two."

A wet, towel clad Ichigo opened the bathroom door trudging past his roommate to the bedroom. Grinning, Ikkaku couldn't help but snap a picture of the redhead as he was walking off. The eighteen-year-old thought for a second before slipping into the bedroom taking another picture of his roommate but a front shot this time, excluding his face that the shirt he was putting on was currently covering. There was no denying that Ichigo was an attractive being, and his perpetual scowl only seemed to add to his attractiveness – but the two of them were as close as brothers so Ikkaku wasn't dare going to cross that line; not to mention he was in that fucked up relationship with Ishida for all those years.

"What a waste..." Shaking his head, Ikkaku quietly closed the door then trudged back to the couch.

"So... any idea where you two are going for your date?" The taller teen shook his head. "Are you going to share all the juicy details?"

"Probably, I mean if something happens." Ikkaku's eyes narrowed at Mizuiro. "Are you going to keep lying to yourself?"

"What makes you think I'm not telling the truth?" Ikkaku kept staring and Mizuiro sighed. "Alright fine! Repeat this to no one, and I mean _no one_, understand?" Ikkaku nodded. "Yes. I'll admit I am ...attracted to Keigo but I'm attracted to lots of people. So I don't see what's the problem."

"The problem is that the attraction you feel toward Keigo isn't just physical."

Mizuiro shrugged, "fair enough. Now, since I told you something, you should tell me something." Ikkaku sighed then whispered in Mizuiro's ear. "Oh shit, are you serious?"

"What are you two all buddy buddy for?" They both looked up at Ichigo; eyes widening they looked the redhead up and down fully.

"Damn Ichigo, I know you like wearing fitted clothing but—"

Ikkaku slapped his hand over Mizuiro's mouth despite the black-haired teen's protests. "You look good enough to eat, are you trying to get raped dressing so sexfully?"

Ichigo stared at his roommate. "I don't think sexfully is a word."

"That doesn't matter, you'll have Jaegerjaquez popping a boner as soon as he sees you." Grinning he slowly released Mizuiro's mouth.

"Don't tell me that's what you want."

Ichigo sighed, "Of course not! I just threw this on; I'm not trying to get sexually assaulted or have anyone 'pop a boner' because of me." Ikkaku and Mizuiro exchanged glances.

"Hey, what if you get a hard-on it might be a difficult to hide it with your pants clinging to your lean frame so well."

"What makes you think I'll get an erection." Ikkaku and Mizuiro stared at one another again. "Stop doing that! Its creeping me out."

"Ichigo, you're not tucking are you?"

"What? No you idiot." The redhead grumbled under his breath, "look. If we're going to go lets go already. Fucking morons..."

"Aye, aye." They saluted standing up.

… …

Grimmjow, Renji, Starrk, Shūhei, and Shinji all tilted their heads to the right as Yumichika happily strolled by; they then tilted their heads to the left as the black-haired teen walked by again.

"Yumi's all fucking smiles..." Starrk said, "was he always this cheerful?" His response was the collective shaking of the other four teen's heads.

"I'm thinking it might have something to do with his double date later today." Shinji added turning to the blue-haired teen along with Starrk, Shūhei, and Renji. "Speaking of which, why aren't you hepped up too Grimm?"

Grimmjow stared at the blond before shrugging. "It ain't much of a date if its a double date. Don't get me wrong I plan to be a walking wet dream but there's no point in getting all giddy about it."

Renji shook his head. "Almost makes me pissed I gotta go to work."

"I told you when I hit the employee of the month that you could quit that stupid ass job and work for the dojo. Working there isn't like working at all."

Starrk shook his head, "if you two work together nothing will ever get done."

"That's not true!" Renji and Grimmjow protested.

"Guys, I found a great fucking house in the Junrinan district not far from here." Starrk, Shinji, and Grimmjow all stared at Shūhei questionably. "W-What?"

"Oh!" Renji facepalmed. "I forgot. Since both of our leases are going to be up next month senpai's gonna live with us."

There was a brief pause before Shinji spoke. "Why?"

"Why not? I mean he's always here anyway might as well live with him."

Grimmjow and Starrk shrugged. "Hey Yumichika!" The former called. The aforementioned teen paused turning to his roommates. "We're looking for a new place to live in the Junrinan district and Shūhei-senpai's gonna live with us."

"Really? I thought we were just going to renew the lease here."

Starrk shook his head. "There are more of us now so, logically, we should get a bigger place."

"But I like living here."

It was Grimmjow's turn to shake his head. "Think about it Yums, if we move you can get your own room."

Purple eyes widened considerably. "What are you waiting for? Lets go house hunting!"

"We have the tea school today, remember?" The black-haired teen sighed. "But I mean we have the rest of the month before they throw our asses to the curb."

"That's true, but there's all that stuff we have to do beforehand." Yumichika began. "Do you remember how hard it was for us to live here?"

"It wasn't hard." Starrk glanced at Grimmjow, "since our blue-haired friend here flashed the landlord."

The teen in question shrugged. "Its what he asked for."

"Nevermind!" Yumichika yelled then cleared his throat. "You guys can go look for the ...place after the tea school, or dojo, where ever else we're going second."

"Shit, I won't be able to go to the tea school either." Renji huffed. "Just my fucking luck..."

"When's your day off man?" Grimmjow asked slinging an arm over the redhead's shoulder.

"Friday."

Shūhei tapped his chin, "but today is Friday." Renji glared at him, "oh... you obviously don't mean today."

"We'll tell you all about our date Renji~"

"And I'll probably be too tired to listen." Yumichika pouted as the redhead turned to Grimmjow. "Don't fuck with him too badly Grimmjow."

"I won't make any promises." Renji shook his head and walked out the door waving his goodbyes.

"Okay!" Yumichika clapped his hands together, "Jaegerjaquez-san, a word?" Grimmjow sighed trudging into the bathroom where Yumichika was leaning against the counter.

"What?"

"You had better not fuck this up for me. I actually like Ikkaku, a lot, and I-I enjoyed talking on the phone with him. So help me if you—"

Grimmjow put his hand over the ranting black-haired teen's mouth. "Chill, I like Berry so I won't even bother with you two ass clowns."

Yumichika moved his hands to lower Grimmjow's hand from his mouth. "That's both rude and reassuring at the same time. But its whatever. If you don't interfere, I won't interfere. It sounds fair, does it not?"

"Then why make it a double date?"

"Hey, you should be thanking me! I knew Berry wouldn't want to go out with you alone so give me some credit for thinking of this so quick." Grimmjow shook his head. "Alright, Mr. Smarty Pants what would you have done?"

"What I did yesterday. Just hanging out and shooting the breeze, not taking him out for fancy diners with my loud ass roommate."

"How dare you. You have absolutely no right to call _anyone_ loud!"

"I'm not the one yelling."

"I don't have time for this. Get out of the bathroom so I can get ready."

"Yumi, you're not going to give it up on the first date are you?"

"Of course not! Damn, I do have standards. Besides, there is nothing I like more than a testing the boundaries of my date, see how far this seduction game goes – you know, not at all like that wild goose-chase bullshit he had me going through."

"So... you wanna be one big tease?"

"Exactly! See, I told Starrk you weren't as dumb as you look."

"Right... now about this seduction tactic thing... you want me to help you with it, don't you?"

"Why would you automatically assume that?"

"There is, was, or will be no reason for you involving me to this double date other than being your wingman. Tell baldly all your good points and all that stupid junior high school shit. In exchange, you'll do something similar for me and Berry."

"Hell no, you don't have any good points."

"I said something similar dammit. Anyway, you haven't been 'pouring on the sexy' – as you often put it – in some time so you need a little fine tuning; case and point you need a little coaching in the ways of Jaegerjaquez." The blue-haired teen waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Uh, no. I don't need any of your stupidity or perversion, but you're offering assistance I could use just a smidge of that diluted Hispanic charm you possess."

"Diluted?"

"You know, watered down? You've spent the majority of your life here but maintained some of that essence that makes you irresistible to others."

"So what you're saying is you need _my_ charm for your date? How will this benefit me?"

"Our date, remember?" Grimmjow's eyes narrowed. "I said if you're offering, you don't necessarily have to teach me."

"I can't teach ya this, it ain't something I could just fork over, its natural. Like my dashing good looks."

"Pfft. Whatever man. Just get ready so we can go."

"Damn Yumi, I was skeptical at first and thought you were just being crazy... but if you're this much of a nervous wreck you must_ really_ like Ikkaku."

… …

Christmas was three full weeks away and the stores were already crawling with semi last minute shoppers. If this many people were piling up in the convenience store there was no telling how crowded bigger stores would be!

Sighing heavily, Ggio sprawled out against the counter watching the mass of bodies fight over a supposed good deal. Since everyone was filling their baskets and carts (which they acquired recently just for the holiday) the registers were empty. These were the small moments the black-haired teen was grateful for being glued to the register, the employees on the floor had to deal with that madness while he just sat back and watched.

Of course when the chaos and confusion shifted, Ggio wished he was on the floor running away from customers like some of his co-workers did. Unfortunately he was the most productive and therefore profitable cashier on the payroll so he, unlike some other cashiers, couldn't move even if the store was empty. It wasn't his fault he was so small and had fast reflexes! Blame it on the countless hours he spent playing video games and masturbating, although he'd probably admit to the former more so than the latter.

Breaking through from the pack a plump middle aged woman approached his register, Ggio forced a smile even when she – like most older women often did – pinched his cheeks. "Aren't you adorable?" She cooed stretching his face. In addition to being a valuable member of the Las Noches family, Ggio was often an old lady magnet. The only other employee the old women loved to harass and 'pet' was Renji. They came to him in droves marveling at his muscles and his adorable face. They deliberately sought out items on the top shelves just so he could reach them then they would pinch his cheeks (both face and ass) as a thank you.

Once he finished with the old woman she merrily walked out of the store. Sighing, he put his head down on the counter.

Renji had to be far more patient than Ggio was because the black-haired teen couldn't take much more of this even if they did give him rather large tips for helping them with their bags.

"Vega-kun?" The amber eyed teen shook out of his reverie staring at the 'new' girl; Senna, if he remembered correctly. "Baraggan-sama says you can go on break now."

"Got it." Sighing in relief, Ggio closed his register ...much to the dismay of several middle aged women heading toward register one... and headed to the office. "Baraggan-sama?"

Surprisingly, Abirama's head popped out of the office. "Oh. Its Ggio." The door opened wider allowing the small teen access inside. Once inside Abirama closed the door behind him.

"What can I do for you Vega-kun?"

"Senna-chan told me to go on break."

"Ah yes. You may."

Ggio glanced at Abirama who shrugged. "Um, Baraggan-sama, what may I ask are you doing?"

"Christmas trees."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm trying to get some Christmas trees in the store."

"Oh... right. I'll be going now." Resisting the urge to shake his head, the black-haired teen left the office almost bumping into Renji.

"Hey." The redhead greeted.

"Hey." Ggio greeted back, "Baraggan-sama is looking up Christmas trees with Abirama."

"Christmas trees?"

"Christmas trees." Renji nodded knocking on the office door. "So... I guess this means no tea school today, huh? Even though the iemoto is scary as hell, he's pretty easy on the eyes."

Before Renji could reply the office door flew open. "Ah, Abarai, come in~" The redhead barely had time to react as Abirama pulled him into the office closing the door.

Ggio stared at the closed door for a few seconds before shrugging and walking off. A break was better spent when you weren't walking around the store that you were trying to take a break from.

Because of the crazy-ass hours the store adopted, the employees were divided into four shifts instead of the usual two: morning, afternoon, night, and _over_night – as the store was now temporarily open twenty four hours but that shift didn't have as many employees working because only the really crazy shoppers came in during those hours. To make matters all the more crazier the shifts overlapped, usually the employees that came in the morning/afternoon left shortly after the afternoon/evening employee took their spot.

The black-haired teen sighed, he would be eternally grateful when this whole thing was over. Not only did he hate the holidays but he hated shopping even more!

Meanwhile, in the office, Renji and Abirama sat in the desk in front of Baraggan who was busy bustling on the computer. They would have left but the old man told them not to. So there they were just sitting... and waiting. Though it wasn't entirely bad because every minute they spent in here was a minute they didn't have to work even though they were still getting paid.

"I got it!" Startled, the two teens jumped slightly. "I purchased seven thousand Christmas trees that will get here tomorrow, in installments."

"Seven thousand?" Abirama glanced at Renji who nodded. "Isn't that a bit ..._much_, Baraggan-sama?"

"Not at all. If we sell trees a quarter of what most other shops are charging we'll make more money."

"But don't people usually just get one tree? Do you think seven thousand customers will be in the store? Okay, that is possible but I doubt they'll all want a Christmas tree."

"Tsk-tsk, you youngsters of little faith. Having more than one Christmas tree is somewhat of a fad now, I see houses with two or three, even four, Christmas trees. I even saw a couple of houses that had a tree in every room." Renji whistled. "Yes, that is impressive. And all the trees are in different colors, shapes, and sizes."

The redhead furrowed his eyebrows, "colors and sizes are understandable, but _shapes_?"

"A square Christmas tree. Its popular in certain cultures." The teens shared questionable glances. "I need you two to clear some space in the backroom for the trees. Choe has the day off so you two are on your own."

"Right..."

"Good, now get to work. The trees are on express order. We'll be getting four hundred tomorrow."

Nodding wordlessly, the teens exited the office room then headed to the backroom. "W-What's wrong?" They both stared at Kira staring back at them.

"Baraggan-sama wants us to make room for four hundred Christmas trees."

The blond flinched as Ggio jumped on his shoulders, "sucks. He isn't giving you guys any help?"

"Doesn't seem like it." Abirama replied.

"Guess we could talk to Baraggan-sama about this... I mean, its practically suicide to have you two do that alone."

"I-I wouldn't mind helping." Ggio's eyes narrowed at the blond. "I'm sure Kotsubaki-san and Ogidō-san wouldn't mind helping out either."

"Have you ever worked the backroom before Kira?" The blond nodded at Ggio. "Fuck, I wanna work the back too."

"Quit your bitching its not all that fun; besides you're too damn short so you'd only get in the way."

The short teen gave Abirama the finger before walking off, "I'll talk to Baraggan-sama for you idiots."

"Could you? You know you're his golden boy~"

Renji nudged Abirama as Kira's back was turned, "you did something to him, didn't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday when you went to check on him? We were looking for you guys for a good half hour."

"I suppose that would depend on your definition of _something_, but yeah, Kira and I are ...closer now." Renji shook his head as the slightly shorter teen grinned.

"Do you have to take another sexual harassment course man?"

"Nah. It was mutually consensual and I didn't do anything he didn't want me to, besides if its anyone's fault its—"

"The dark deed you requested has been completed. You three, Ogidō, Kotsubaki, Tristan, and yours truly are working the backroom for the rest of today."

"You!" Renji and Abirama asked incredulously.

Grinning, Ggio nodded. "Yup. Baraggan-sama said I should be more versatile."

"You begged him, didn't you?"

"Yeah... but I'm not proud of it." Ggio clapped his hands, "anyway lets get going!"

… …

Rukia watched her father putting the Kuchiki clan kenseikan into his hair. The eighteen-year-old wasn't certain but it seemed as though they were having company of the fancy kind. The current head of the Kuchiki clan, which should be her grandfather Ginrei and not her father Sōjun, only put in the white headpieces when some of their aristocratic companions were coming over and as it was nearly the holidays it was very likely at least one family would show up. If her father had put on the Kuchiki clan's scarf as well then the upcoming guests were the fanciest of all.

Rukia tapped her chin, thinking back on it she never saw her grandfather wearing the kenseikan. Ever. She'd see him wear the scarf from time to time but the kenseikan was an entirely different story.

The black-haired teen sighed. Speaking of her grandfather, ever since her grandfather found the second seireitei letter Rukia had been put on probation so fast it wasn't even funny. The old man actually canceled her order even before finding out the cause or even asking for a reason; claiming that he would not allow his granddaughter to sully the Kuchiki name with libidinous matters. Rukia could only shudder thinking about how her grandfather would react if he knew she was doing all of this for Byakuya. The gray-haired man would probably flip his lid especially since he favored Byakuya so much more than her, fortunately she was the favorite of her father so they were split in terms of parental figures.

With the order canceled, minus the cancellation fee, her money – or more accurately her father's money – was returned to its account. Rukia wasn't exactly certain how fast the cancellation would go through on seireitei's end but if Renji was no longer attempting to loosen up Byakuya she still had her terrifying older brother scaring the living daylights out of her classmates; to make matters worse with Ōtoribashi still palling around Byakuya was far more terrifying than humanly possible!

The eighteen-year-old sighed again. If she was no longer a seireitei customer perhaps should could pay Renji out of pocket for his services and end up getting the job done without all the legal mumbo-jumbo her grandfather did not need to know about.

Rukia smirked at her own idea.

The doorbell rang and Rukia rose an eyebrow again. Who the hell dared to interrupt her ingenious thought process? "Could you get that for me?" Nodding, the black-haired teen walked to the door and stared in the peephole. She didn't recognize anyone standing on the other side of the door so she walked back to her father. "Its okay, I'm expecting them."

Suppressing the urge to sigh, Rukia walked back to the door then opened it receiving a bear hug as a greeting from the purple-haired woman. "Ru-Ru, you've gotten so big!"

"_A-Air_!"

"Whoops!" The purple-haired woman chuckled releasing Rukia. "Byakuya~"

Gasping for air, Rukia slowly stood then shook her head. "He isn't here."

"Is he just saying that or is he really not around?"

"He's really not here."

The purple-haired woman looked down at Rukia. "You don't remember me, do you?" Rukia shook her head. "That's a shame—"

"Yoruichi, help me with these damn bags!"

"Coming Kūkaku-chan~!" She winked at Rukia. "I'll be right back."

Rukia's eyes widened. Yoruichi? As in _Shihōin Yoruichi_? Heir to the Shihōin family and the very same woman her older brother referred to as the **devil incarnate**? Rukia couldn't remember her being so pretty, but that wasn't saying much when Rukia couldn't remember the woman's face at all before today.

Rukia mentally facepalmed. Byakuya's hate for this woman far surpassed his hatred for Ōtoribashi so his mood would undoubtedly be worse than it is now ...if that was physically possible. If people thought a normal Byakuya was scary a pissed off Byakuya was off the richter scale! Rukia was even terrified of an angered Byakuya, not that she herself was apart of that 0.1 percent ballsy enough to not show fear in front of Byakuya. Hell, even that rare percentage would wet themselves in front of an irate Kuchiki Byakuya.

Rukia only had the good fortune of seeing her brother pissed off once in her life. The siblings didn't attend the same high school, even though Byakuya's legacy of social terrorism was still running rampant throughout their junior high school years. During Byakuya's last year of junior high school a few of his classmates decided they wanted to pick a fight with Rukia since they couldn't get to him.

An incredibly foolish mistake to make.

The then fourteen-year-old proceeded to beat the absolute hell out of his classmates, in the most elegant fashion imaginable, prompting in his immediate expulsion from the entire district and Rukia's transfer to an all girl school which combined both junior and senior high. So for the next four years the siblings didn't attend the same school, until Rukia carelessly enrolled into Rukongai where Byakuya was beginning his second year.

"Ganju, get your useless ass in here!" Rukia looked up wide-eyed at the tall, incredibly endowed green-eyed woman looking down at her. "Rukia."

Rukia gulped audibly. "K-Kūkaku-san." Like the Shihōin and Ōtoribashi clans, the Shiba clan were old 'family friends' of the Kuchiki's – unlike the children in his age group (or close to it) from the Shihōin and Ōtoribashi clans Byakuya seemed to tolerate Kūkaku, but that woman was terrifying in a physically abusive sort of way so who wouldn't get along with her?

"Is your father around?"

"Shiba-san, its good to see you."

"Likewise Kuchiki-san." Yoruichi's head popped up from Kūkaku's shoulder waving at Sōjun.

"Its good seeing you as well Shihōin-san." The purple-haired woman grinned. "Allow me to escort the three of you to your rooms. Your brother isn't joining us?"

"I don't know." Kūkaku sighed. "Kaien got some job on some too good to be true website and he had to go to the headquarters or something today."

Rukia's eyes widened. Seireitei was a 'too good to be true' website – was it possible Kūkaku's older brother was an employee there and if so how come she didn't see his picture before? Shiba Kaien was like a big brother to Rukia, not more than her own brother but a nicer one – even though he was often just as abusive as his younger sister.

"Rukia, can you tell your grandfather that our guests have arrived?" Nodding wordlessly, the eighteen-year-old mechanically walked off to the kitchen.

"Tell us the truth Kuchiki-san, did Byakuya-kun leave because he knew we were coming?"

"I'm not sure. No one told him we were having guest though."

Yoruichi sighed. "And I came all this way just to see him..." Kūkaku elbowed her, "what?"

"I know what you came here for Shihōin-san and it definitely wasn't just to 'see' him."

"But Byakuya will be legal next month!" Yoruichi cleared her throat as both Kūkaku and Sōjun glared at her. "What?"

"Don't forget, I haven't exactly forgiven you for putting your hands on my only son Yoruichi-chan."

"What does he mean?" Ganju whispered to his shrugging older sister.

"Ooh, calling me by my given name? You must be really pissed."

Sōjun stopped in front of the guest room. "Not as much as I was then. Especially when I had to hear it from my father." Yoruichi whistled. "The guest rooms are right across from one another. You two can share this room and if Kaien-kun shows up he'll share with you Ganju-kun across the hall." Ganju nodded. "I'll be downstairs if you need me." Sending one last glare at Yoruichi Sōjun walked down the stairs.

Kūkaku watched the black-haired man disappear downstairs before turning to Yoruichi. "Shihōin Yoruichi did you sleep with a minor?"

"I slept with plenty of minors."

Kūkaku sighed, "go to your room Ganju."

"What? But I—"

"Didn't you hear me? I said go!" Needing no further instruction, the black-haired man all but ran into his room closing the door behind him. "I can't believe you slept with Byakuya! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Kuchiki-san not forgiving you for laying your hands on his only son? What can be clearer than that?"

"Look. I didn't hear him complaining when it happened." Kūkaku facepalmed. "Okay he did, but that's irrelevant. Besides it was... lets see, six years ago? What does it matter? Its all in the past now."

"You slept with a thirteen-year-old?"

"He was fourteen."

"That doesn't make it any better!"

"He was a ridiculously attractive, rebellious high school first year, what was I supposed to do?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I know Byakuya and its blatantly obvious that you came onto him. You were a student teacher for crying out loud! You even said he complained about it when it happened! Did you force yourself on him?"

"N-Not exactly." Kūkaku folded her arms over her ample chest. "Would you relax? It only happened once, unfortunately."

"You came here to fix that though." Yoruichi shrugged. "I honestly cannot believe you."

"What are you more upset about? That I slept with him or that you didn't?"

"I'm not attracted to minors, nor do I have an interest in sleeping with them, which by the way is a crime on so many different levels."

"He was past the consent age."

"He didn't fully consent!"

"I didn't come here to argue with you. You are my best friend Kūkaku, and I don't regret sleeping with Byakuya – I regret it only happened once but that's it."

Kūkaku shook her head, "I can't possibly comment on that so lets just drop the subject."

"Fine with me."

… …

Ichigo tried to put it off as long as humanly possible but Ikkaku was getting a bit too anxious for his liking. As agreed they met at the tea school, after class, then headed to the dojo. Yumichika proceeded to spill more tea and even break the tea cup he was drinking out of... which no one thought was physically possible before today.

Ichigo sighed as the waitress walked them to their table for four blatantly ogling them the entire time. Truth be told, he and Uryū never went out on dates while they were going out, if one could call it that, in fact other than school they were usually tangled up in the sheets with one another. But this was hardly the time to be thinking about his former boyfriend.

Ikkaku would probably torture him relentlessly if this date was screwed up because of him. Resigning himself to his fate, Ichigo sighed – to prevent future screw-ups Ichigo was seated next to Yumichika and across from Ikkaku; Grimmjow was diagonal ...much to the blue-haired teen's dismay.

"You know..." Grimmjow began while everyone else was looking over their menu, "I just thought of a perfect dessert, blueberry cheesecake with _extra _filling." Ichigo shivered involuntarily as he felt something nudging his leg. Brown eyes glanced at mischievous blue eyes until Yumichika punched the owner of said mischievous eyes.

"Dammit Grimmjow, don't scare him off before we get our food!"

"Why are you idiots looking at menus for a steakhouse anyway? I mean, they'll grill or barbeque all sorts of meat right, why can't we just split—" Yumichika and Ichigo both rose an eyebrow as Grimmjow suddenly winced.

Yumichika leaned forward hitting Grimmjow on the head with his menu, "idiot, we're looking at sides and shit."

"They'll grill those too Yumi."

"Yumi?"

Grimmjow glared at Ikkaku who returned the glare, "yeah. Its just one of our many nicknames for him."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah." Ikkaku winced then bit his lip pulling his menu up over his face.

"You know what, fuck this—"

Just as Yumichika got up a waitress appeared beside him, "I'm terribly sorry for the wait, have you decided what you want?"

"Everything." The black-haired teen replied.

"Excuse me?"

"I... _we_ want one of everything grilled." Grimmjow, Ikkaku, and Ichigo's jaws dropped. Closing the menu, he handed it to the waitress. "What? You guys don't agree?"

"Hell yeah I agree." Ikkaku replied handing is own menu to the stunned waitress.

"Why the hell not?" Ichigo replied handing his menu as well.

"That's pretty ballsy Yumichika, are you planning on shelling out some of your seireitei cash?"

"Of course not, we're splitting the bill." Grinning, Yumichika grabbed Grimmjow's menu handing it to the waitress. "Oh." Blushing slightly, she turned to Yumichika. "And I'll have a glass of water. What about you guys?"

"I want something with strawberries in it—_fuck_!" Hissing, Grimmjow glared at Yumichika.

"We have strawberry milk." The waitress replied.

Grimmjow smirked, "perfect."

"I—" Ikkaku frowned as Grimmjow whispered something in his ear. "What? ...I'll have a pea-peach calpis."

Everyone at the table and the waitress turned to Ichigo, "r-right... I-I guess I'll have water too."

"Okay." Nodding, the waitress turned on her heels and disappeared.

Yumichika turned to Grimmjow, "conference!" He stated standing up and walking off, sighing the blue-haired teen got up and walked off too.

"What's that all about?" Ikkaku asked and Ichigo shrugged.

Once they were a safe distance away from the table Yumichika sighed, "could you be any more blatant? I'm sure you felt him up under the table and you're hitting on him like crazy. You are completely ruining this date for me!"

"Shut up will ya?" The black-haired teen pouted, "I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just having a little fun. Berry was dating that glasses wearing prude for years so he needs a little bit of Grimmjow in his life."

"I'm not entirely sure how to comment at this point."

"Look, I – well I can't promise – but I'll try not to do anything to ruin your chances of having sweaty pulsating sex with baldy."

"Thank you. That's all I ask."

"No problem... but so that you don't seem like such a hypocrite ya might not wanna cockblock me anymore."

"...I'm not doing it deliberately." Yumichika sighed, "listen stupid. If you want to get into Berry's pants you are going to have to be a bit more—"

"Charming?"

"Hell no. You said Berry was fucking that prude, right? So be a little more civil and a lot _less _aggressive, show him that you have a moral side and above all else don't slip out a sexual innuendo in every sentence!"

Grimmjow sighed, "why did I agree to this again?"

"Because you didn't have a choice. I believe that there is a zero percent possibility of you getting into bed with Ichigo tonight, or any night this year – however I have a chance." Grimmjow's eyes narrowed. "Fret not my oversexed compatriot, for you see I have a plan. You must befriend Berry-kun before you sleep with him, I'm sure he's more interested in friendship than a relationship so think about that."

"Did one of Baldy's friends tell you this?"

"No. But if he hasn't melted because of your overzealous flirting then he's other one hell of an actor or he's just not that into you."

The two teens exchanged glances, "definitely the former." They replied with a sigh.

"Okay. So, just take it slow. I understand you have an extremely difficult time doing that, not to mention you never do as you're told but—"

"I get it. No sex, just ..._friendship_ perhaps an occasional feel up."

"Let me ask you a question though, why are you so hellbent on this? You're not exactly short on bedmates."

"Same to you. You sleep around way more than I do."

"Pfft. Not _way_ more..." Grimmjow's eyes narrowed. "Yes, I ...used to frequent different sex friends on a daily basis but that was months ago, besides Ikkaku is just as much of a prude as Berry – I mean why do you think I orchestrated this date? He damn sure wasn't going to ask me out!"

"I think you might be too aggressive."

"Fuck you."

"How many times do I have to tell ya, that won't work out."

Yumichika sighed. "Why must you be so difficult?"

"Yumi, I'm not the one bursting at the seems. I'm in control."

"Yeah right and I'm the fucking Easter Bunny. The minute you saw Berry I saw the lust clouding your eyes; and I bet he'll just say he threw that one without thinking."

"Here you go with the hypocritical comments. You were drooling when Baldy showed up!"

"Alright, that's enough! This is getting nowhere and I'm sure our food is getting cold. We'll just go back there as civil as humanly possible and just _hope_ I get sex out of this because I am—"

"Unbearably cranky? That UST is a killer." Grimmjow shook his head, "this is why Kyōraku said not to take a liking to the clients."

"He isn't a client anymore!"

"Whatever. The point is his voice alone made you want him and that was your first mistake."

"Oh? And _I'm_ hypocritical? You said Berry's voice got you all hot and bothered."

"True, but unlike you I worked off the clock." Nodding to himself and leaving a stunned Yumichika behind Grimmjow walked back to the table. "Yo."

"What the hell took you so long? And where is Yumichika?"

"First of all... none of your damn business, and secondly its still none of your damn business." Grimmjow's eyes trailed down to the spread on the table. "Fuck, all this food is for us?"

"Yup!" Yumichika replied sliding into the booth next to Ichigo. "Itadakimasu~"

"So, B—" Yumichika glared at him, "I-_I_chigo... you go to Rukongai right? What are you studying?" Ikkaku and Ichigo nearly dropped their chopsticks looking at the blue-haired teen. "What the fuck is with the stares? I can form a conversation, can't I?"

"I don't know, can you?" Ikkaku winced then glared at Ichigo who presumably kicked him under the table.

"Medicine." Yumichika, Ikkaku, and Grimmjow exchanged glances before glancing back at the redhead. "I want to be a doctor."

"Damn, then what the hell are you doing at Rukongai?"

"You know..." Yumichika tapped his chin, "that would probably explain why I've never seen him around. Rukongai's got all sorts of departments—"

"That reminds me, what exactly are you studying Yumi?"

"Hm? What else? Fashion design." Grimmjow sighed. "But that's only temporary, more like its not my major I'm joining Hanatarō-kun in massage therapy."

"How come?" Ikkaku asked.

"Well, I originally wanted massage therapy but I signed up too late and there were no classes available and when they told me I couldn't discriminate against my guests I guess that was a bit of a turn off ...at the same time I can't really discriminate in fashion either but then I figured combining the two is pure genius!"

"That means you'll be in school twice as long."

Yumichika shrugged, "its all worth it in the pursuit of beauty."

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Ichigo chuckled then shook his head, "oh ...let Ikkaku tell you what he's studying." Ikkaku's eyes narrowed and he suppressed the urge to gulp as the table had his undivided attention.

Sighing, he grumbled his response. "I wanna be a teacher..."

Yumichika gasped, "for real?"

"But not just any teacher... apparently I need a teaching degree to teach anything."

Grimmjow shook his head. "Well that was a given."

After glaring at his roommate Yumichika turned back to Ikkaku. "What is it that you want to teach?"

"I kinda wanted to be a physical teacher ...you know, like gym or maybe in a dojo."

"That's so cute~" Blushing, Ikkaku downed the rest of his drink. "Grimmjow works at a dojo, as you already know, so maybe he could put in a good word for you."

"Speaking of Grimmjow, what would you study if you were in school?"

"...Well I'd have to study something that showcases my talents. I like fucking people over and giving orders so I'd definitely have to be the boss. Maybe I should be a judge? Or a cop?"

"Grimmjow." Yumichika began, "no offense but whatever career you pursue will most likely _not_ be on the side of justice."

"I would have said pimp or hitman but those doesn't require a professional degree."

"You could..." Ikkaku frowned, "I can't think of anything."

"The way I see it the only job you could get is an ex-con that visits schools as a motivational speaker." Yumichika sighed, "or an average salary-man."

"He's already halfway there." Ikkaku added with a smirk.

"Hey, yeah!" Yumichika agreed, "and he already volunteers with stuff!"

"Is this the roast of Grimmjow or something? When did I become the subject of interest?"

"Well, we're just curious about some of the things that seireitei doesn't state." Ichigo commented with a shrug, "you know like a non rambunctious side."

"A gentler side that no one gets to see?" Grimmjow smirked, "I get it. But I'm not going to be the only one who _...shares_ info about themselves. Agreed?"

Yumichika and Ikkaku sighed, "agreed."

Ichigo shrugged, "I don't see the harm in that, after all we're all friends right?"

Grimmjow's smirk broadened. "Right. We're all friends here."


	8. 7: A Home for the Holidays

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction and blah, blah, blah. I also do not own any of the mentioned or referenced manga or video games.

_A/N:__ "__other __side __of __the __telephone__"_

165cm = 5' 5"; 180cm = 5' 10.9" (but I think I mentioned that before)

* * *

"_Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends."  
-Jacques Delille_

* * *

The figure was crawling toward him at an agonizingly slow pace; red hair seemed to cascade down freely and endlessly down past the lean, albeit muscular body of its owner and onto the futon and beyond. An infuriating smirk was planted on a pair of tan lips then wet themselves slowly with the seductive swipe of a pink tongue. Said lips were calling out to him, teasing and taunting him, _begging_ him to make a move.

Byakuya sat up on his elbows waiting for the figure to come closer. By the look of things the redhead was hungry and he was the main dish waiting to be eaten. Not that the black-haired teen particularly minded though, he would do just as much of the devouring.

From this angle the black-haired teen had a perfect view of the various tattoos adorning the top of the redhead's chest; he might not have been able to see the rest of his body but Byakuya was certain there were more tattoos where these came from. Byakuya licked his lips waiting to see how far the tattoos went with just the simple tracing of his tongue.

Tentatively, Byakuya's hand reached forward caressing the silky smooth hair. A tanned hand grabbed the same hand slowly popped its pale digits into his mouth one by one sucking on them each tenderly. "You don't taste like tea at all." The redhead teased gingerly leaning forward pressing his lips against Byakuya's.

Clearly not in the mood for tenderness, Byakuya planted a string of kisses all over the redhead's mouth and chin and just as he opened his mouth to speak Byakuya thrust his tongue into that opened orifice delving as far as possible coaxing every possible flavor content from his mouth. They continued their oral duel for a few seconds then when the need for air became apparent the two broke apart reluctantly.

The telltale signs of lust blatantly showcased itself within the redhead's chocolate orbs and he opened his mouth then squawked loudly. Then kept repeatedly squawking loudly.

Gray eyes snapped open and Byakuya lunged forward from under his covers. Hearing a loud thud he looked down seeing a pile of long green hair and its owner face first into the carpet below. Sighing, he shut the alarm off before kicking the sheets off the bed helping up the fallen girl who he probably knocked off anyway.

Once she was safely back on the bed the green-haired teen rubbed her eyes. "You kicked me off the bed _again _Byakuya!"

"I'm sorry." The black-haired teen sighed, "but I did tell you I wouldn't mind the couch Nelliel."

She waved him off, "what kind of host would I be if I did that?" Stretching, Nelliel got off the bed padding toward the bathroom.

While the shower was running Byakuya headed toward the bathroom as well. Their coital joining three years ago had been out of pure curiosity and after that they maintained a purely platonic close to sibling like friendship so showering together wasn't completely out of the ordinary. After all they had been doing it for nearly three weeks straight. Not only did it save water but after seeing and touching one another naked once there really wasn't anything new so...

Contrary to popular belief, nineteen-year-old Kuchiki Byakuya wasn't as asexual as everyone thought him to be, he got just as turned on as the average teenage male ...he just had a better handle of his hormones to go around fucking any and every thing that caught his eye.

However, like even the most skilled stoic individuals Byakuya did feel his hormonal control slip _slightly_ the second time he and the redhead locked lips; in fact, his control might have slipped the first time since he was practically kissed with no prior warning.

Byakuya was actually surprised he didn't wake up with an erection or soiled sheets, he was nineteen – despite his demeanor – so it wasn't completely uncommon for him to have a few wet dreams during the week.

Once the shower was done with the two settled down at the table for breakfast. "This is kinda cool, isn't it?" Nelliel asked. "These past few weeks made us seem like a newlywed couple~" Giddy, the green-haired teen sighed heavily. "Oh! Before you leave, I need to take a few pictures of you here to show my dads. That was the condition of you staying here, remember?"

"I haven't forgotten and I appreciate your hospitality."

"Think nothing of it. Its a win-win for both of us, my parents think I stopped dating... or at least _sleeping with_ short tempered, perverted idiots and you get to stay away from your urge to gut Shihōin-san like a fish." Nel winked at him, "see? You're so lucky I was on my way to visit you that day or you would have no idea that they stopped by. Then you would have been miserable for the holidays looking for ways to successfully maim someone without getting a prison record."

"Like I said, I appreciate your hospitality; and for the record I would not be miserable at home."

"Right, because you would actually enjoy spending the holidays together with Ōtoribashi, Shiba-san **and **Shihōin-san? Or is it that you have other friends that live alone and would allow you to stay with them without trying to jump your bones every few minutes?"

Before Byakuya could retort the sound of the green-haired teen's cellphone vibrating on the kitchen table was heard. "That's rude you know." Byakuya remarked as she picked up.

"Yeah, I know. What's up Jackie?"

"_I just off work and I saw this skull hair bow that made me think of you so I decided to call."_

"Aww, how sweet~! Wait, did you say you just got off work?" Nel checked the time on her cellphone. "Its ten in the morning!"

"_Yeah? Well tell that to Baraggan-san, I just finished the overnight shift."_ Nel chuckled at the sigh she heard on the other line. _"I will be __**eternally**__ grateful when we switch back to regular hours Thursday."_

"Yeah, I hear ya, any job that only allows one day off per week for three weeks straight is pure madness."

"_Tell me about it. So, um, about why I called. Did you get a chance to check out seireitei dot org?"_

"Seireitei dot org? No, I keep forgetting to check it out..."

"_Dammit Nel, I told you about it two weeks ago. You'd better get on it soon because it is by far the most orgasmic website you will ever encounter. Dozens of hot guys are plastered on the website basically selling themselves as some kind of hosts/phone sex operator fusion."_

"Alright, I'll go on it now. Hold on so I could get my computer while you're still on the phone."

"_Nel, unless you are on a video phone I'm not sure what difference I'll make."_

"Just hold on dammit!" The green-haired teen slowly got up from the table to retrieve her laptop that was on the couch. Why it was there she had no idea but whatever, that wasn't the main conflict of interest at this point. She returned to the table and opened her laptop then subsequently went on the internet. "You said seireitei, right?"

"_Yup. S-E-I-R-E-I-T-E-I."_

"Okay, I'm—_holy hell_!" Intrigued, Byakuya moved his chair closer to the laptop so he could see as well. The main page of the website was littered with men of all sizes and builds. His current albeit temporary roommate had browsed several pages until she froze. "Son of a bitch!" She screamed slamming her fists on the table repeatedly.

"_Nel, Nelliel what the fuck is wrong with you?"_

"Jackie, Grimmjow is on that website!" As Nel was screaming into her cellphone Byakuya pulled the laptop closer to him taking it over.

Byakuya's eyes widened as he recognized the redhead in a few of the pictures with Grimmjow. Apparently the redhead wasn't solely an employee of the Las Noches convenience store but he was also a phone sex operating host?

Through Grimmjow's page, Byakuya clicked on the link allowing him access onto Renji's page. The page in question displayed every viable piece of information about eighteen-year-old Abarai Renji.

The main picture on his bio had the redhead's chest length hair loosened out of its perpetual ponytail framing his face and neck; with the wet, white partially unbuttoned dress shirt the tattoos adorning his body were visible and the black pants he wore were fitted mapping out every visible grove in his muscular, taut thighs. The devilish smirk planted on his lips seemed to hold the photo together.

Lips... just like in his dream they haunted him. The plan seemed genuinely foolproof. Why not return something that someone gave to you? That kiss had been on his mind for days, weeks even, and he kept reliving it over and over again.

Byakuya had planned on returning the kiss that was given to him at the cultural festival to clear his head, of course going about that without knowledge of the person you shared a thirty second lip lock with was aggravating and one couldn't go around asking questions without getting strange looks from your peers; not to mention looking for a (presumably) natural redhead was an impossible task in itself.

Seeing the person you were searched high and low for with no real direction aimlessly walk around the ever popular Las Noches convenience store clad in their customary uniform was a bit of good fortune and a fine place to put an end to this drama. However, while in retrospect, the plan _seemed_ foolproof one could not speak on behalf of their hormones or emotions. The kiss was returned, that part was easy but breaking apart the second time was when things got difficult.

The first time was just a bare brushing of the lips but it left such an impact so deepening the kiss slightly would only leave a bigger impact. Not only was Byakuya left even less satisfied after they parted the second time but it only strengthened the feeling of wanting to kiss the redhead again and perhaps do even more. Which was what started the explicit dreams Byakuya was plagued with bi-weekly.

Which presented another problem: now kissing someone you barely know because they kissed you first was one thing but doing it repeatedly would be frowned upon in most societies. Byakuya couldn't go about making out with a somewhat complete stranger just to appease his hormones and if the drastic increase in temperature and the lust clouding around Renji's brown eyes were any indication Byakuya's hormones weren't the only ones getting appeased by the aforementioned kisses.

Still, to arrange another meeting would have been impossible with his limited access to the redhead. According to the bio and common knowledge of most of the first years of Rukongai, there was no Abarai Renji in the database _and_ with the crazy ass hours Las Noches adapted for the holidays Renji wasn't frequenting the tea school anymore – and that wouldn't exactly be the best place to stage an impromptu make-out session. _Plus_, the tea school closed for the holidays since the sixteenth of the month.

Just when all hope to quell the nineteen-year-old's lust seemed futile; _this_ showed up out of the blue. As he already met the redhead coincidentally at his job he couldn't do it again without being viewed as a stalker so that option was out. In accordance to any other host-esque or phone sex website one might **purchase** the time of an employee to do whatever they'd see fit within the allotted time that is paid for... but paying for physical contact would make the redhead seem something like a prostitute and Byakuya wasn't exactly sure how the redhead would feel about that.

During their two encounters Renji seemed like a prideful bastard. He clearly wasn't lacking any pride when he marched his way over to the kissing booth and planted one on him. Renji appeared to be one of those powerful, magnificent horses that usually gave ordinary men hell to deal with; he needed a good, strong master to break in that wild streak – tame it but not get rid of it completely.

If every person was to have some definitive type of person they found 'arousing' Abarai Renji would definitely fit into said category for Byakuya: the redhead was physically attractive and had a well defined musculature yet wasn't too muscular; he also had long hair, piercings and tattoos – all of which were huge turn-ons in Byakuya's opinion plus his guttural voice was an added bonus.

The green-haired teen sighed snapping Byakuya out of his reverie, "fine. I won't make any promises but okay." Sighing again she hung up then turned to Byakuya. "Oi, what are you doing?" Frowning, Nel leaned closer to the laptop looking at the profile Byakuya was enthralled in. Well, Nelliel never said Byakuya didn't have taste.

"Wait a minute..." Hazel eyes widened. "T-That's _Renji_!"

Gray eyes glanced at her, "you know him?"

"Know him? I'm like a big sister to him! We went to junior and senior high together. I'm like a year older than he is ...making you also a year older but that's not important. Take a look." Minimizing the seireitei window Nel opened an untitled folder and opened a picture. "See?" Byakuya looked at the picture of eight teens smiling, somewhat, giving the peace sign leaning on a Shisa; the eight teens in the picture from clockwise order were Nelliel, Renji, Yumichika, Starrk, Shinji, an unfamiliar bespectacled black-haired female, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra.

"Nel!" Both teens turned to the doorway. "Oh, Kuchiki-san, its nice seeing you."

"Just Byakuya is fine Tristan-san."

"Then Jackie is fine." Nodding, the black-haired teen toed her shoes off then walked over to the kitchen table. "Oh, that was during your third year of junior high school wide trip right?" Nel nodded. "Who's that?" Jackie asked pointing at the other female in the picture.

"That's Ise-chan, she sorta split with Ulquiorra when he had that big fall out with Grimmjow; the poor girl was riding Ulqui's dick so hard it wasn't even funny – she only hung out with us because of Ulquiorra anyway. As for the other I still kept in touch with them up until two years ago when I traveled abroad." Nel shook her head, "but I'm rambling right now... Starrk, Renji, Yumichika and Grimmjow all have pages on this website!"

"Well, you had some pretty hot friends."

Nel tapped her chin. "Well I'm pretty hot myself." The green-haired teen chuckled. "But that's irrelevant." She cleared her throat. "According to the bio only Starrk is a student of Rukongai ...then again I'm sure he's still hanging out with the others so staging a reunion won't be too difficult."

Jackie and Byakuya exchanged glances, "what's with the looks? I'm just going to introduce some of my old friends to a few of my new friends."

— —

Most of the employees of the seireitei dot org website sat in the home office of their eccentric and irrefutably generous boss, one Kyōraku Shunsui, awaiting the arrival of said brunet after he called them all over about an hour ago. The man in question lived downtown in a location that was easily accessible to all his employees, even though it was purely coincidental.

"Shū-senpai?" The teen in question glanced at Yumichika looking up at him. Shūhei was seated on the armrest of a couch while Yumichika was in the actual cushioned loveseat and Hanatarō was sitting precariously on the other armrest. Because of ...business, Kyōraku had to acquire more furniture in his home in case of employee meetings and the like but because he kept hiring people like crazy he had to buy more furniture for everyone to have their own seat. "I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now ...why did you get that tattoo on your face? Its not bad or distasteful or anything, I'm just curious about it. Usually when people get a sixty nine tattooed on them it implies something perverted but I know you're not like that so..."

Shūhei stared at the younger teen skeptically searching for any insincerity in his words. Yumichika did have the tendency of being an insensitive ass about ninety percent of the time so one couldn't be too careful in a conversation with him. "Well..." He began glancing down at him again, "when I was seven I was saved by this guy with the same tattoo on his chest." Yumichika looked up at him furrowing his eyebrows. "Unfortunately it was too bright outside so I couldn't clearly see his face but all I remembered, aside from the tattoo, was his awkwardly forced smile."

"An awkwardly forced smile?" Hanatarō echoed turning to the two taller teens.

Shūhei nodded. "To be honest it seemed more painful than any of my bruises." Hanatarō frowned tapping his chin. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Wrong? Oh, n-no, nothing. Nothing is wrong."

"You're acting suspicious Hanatarō, do you have any idea who it might be?" Hanatarō glanced down at Yumichika then up at Shūhei.

"Nope. I don't, I-I mean why would I?"

"That wouldn't matter either way senpai. Your little encounter happened about what... twelve years ago? There is no way this guy would remember as clearly as you do."

"What makes you say that?"

"Think about it. Maybe this guy goes around saving little kids as some sort of hobby."

"The guy that saved me was a kid!"

Yumichika and Hanatarō exchanged glances then looked back at their senpai. "You didn't say that before!" The former yelled, "in fact you said you couldn't see him clearly!"

"The silhouette was that of a little kid around my age – or a midget, but if I _had _to guess I would say the former. Both of their silhouettes were small."

"Both? There were two guys?"

"Yeah. You see... there was this landslide that made the ground collapse near the playground I used to frequent. As I was falling off a cliff a hand grabbed mine. Looking up I saw a pair of blindingly white teeth in the form of an incredibly awkward smile of some sort. The hand pulled me up and I fell atop its owner—"

"Is that when you saw the tattoo on his chest?" Shūhei nodded. "But what sort of kid gets a tattoo in the first place?"

Shūhei cleared his throat, "a-anyway. Opening my eyes I saw the tattoo. A bunch of my friends ran over to see if I was okay and they helped me up. An unfamiliar redhead ran over to the other guy pulling him up. I honestly don't remember anything that happened after that though..."

"I'm guessing that little display of heroism left you smitten, hm?" Grinning, he nudged the taller teen now glaring at him. "Glare all you want Shū-senpai, but have you ever considered the fact that you're mistaking this feeling of longing for the suspension bridge effect? You know, when you mix heart pounding fear for love?"

"Idiot. What the hell is that matter with you? I never claimed I was _longing_ for the guy and I damn sure never said I was in love with someone I don't know! I just want to know who he is so I can thank him properly."

Shrugging, Yumichika waved him off. "Whatever man. The last thing you want to do is _thank_ this guy, you just better hope his smile is the only awkward thing about him."

"You don't exactly have room to talk Chi, I've heard how obsessive you've been about your ex-client."

"I was not obsessive!"

"Right... you just like to stalk people for the hell of it?"

"I did not stalk him! I simply invited myself over to his dorm where we talked and hugged it out like adults; then I forced him to take me out on a double date with Grimmjow. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"No. Of course not." Shūhei shook his head, "but for the record you are the last person I would seek for any sort of advice."

"Why you—"

"Alrighty people, listen up~!" Everyone looked up as the brunet, Ukitake, and an unfamiliar blond walked into the living room. "First order of business... I'm sure at some point in the last four months you have all met or at least heard of my companion Ukitake Jūshirō-chin who is celebrating his birthday today."

The white-haired man in question blushed slightly as everyone started clapping and cheering.

Kyōraku cleared his throat silencing his employees. "I would like to _officially_ welcome Jūshirō-chin into the seireitei family as my partner and co-creator – a term that was overdue but he is a stubborn one."

Ukitake elbowed him. "Okay, I won't ad-lib anymore." The brunet sighed. "Jūshirō-chin will also be getting his own page starting up with the new year along with my page, Asano-kun's and hopefully Redder-kun if he gets back to me. Now, I will turn your attention to this handsome fellow beside me; this is Urahara Kisuke..." Said man bowed then waved. "Remember the face and name because this man is solely responsible for our seireitei brand sex toys and other adult paraphernalia being created to quickly and efficiently. How, you may be wondering? Well, Urahara-san owns his own line of sex toys and ...other adult things and as a contributor to the website he will also have a page. Oh! I almost forgot, Jūshirō-chin and I will be sharing the months of June and December meaning Antenor-kun will be moved to the second calender." The teen in question pouted slumping back in his seat. "Urahara-san will be on our second calender with his contributing. On the subject of the calenders, with ten days left until the new year our second calender is finished – even with the addition of Urahara-san, however our first calender is only ninety percent complete."

"Why only ninety?"

"Hand, Ayasegawa-kun." Scowling, the aforementioned teen rose his hand. "Please hold all of your questions until the end." Lowering his hand, Yumichika glared at the brunet continuing his pacing. "Now, as I was saying because of end of the year exams the production on the calendar have stopped. Fortunately, as I stated, with Urahara-san's help our toys and group specials are up and running so there is no need to worry about those." Kyōraku glanced at the white-haired man beside him. "Take it away birthday boy."

Ukitake flinched before taking the clipboard from the brunet. "As its coming into a new month we'll also need to open the votes for the employee of the month for December—"

"Wouldn't it be January?"

"—Whichever month its for. Now anyone interested in being considered should see Shunsui when we finish this thing. With Rukongai University now on break until January 6th we'll be getting the cameras back so we can take more pictures to put on the website and if anyone is displeased with their pictures for the calendar they can check with the website for pictures not uploaded onto their page yet using their administrative passwords that we will hand out today."

"Thank you Jūshirō-chin. Now—"

"Sorry to interrupt Kyōraku-san, but the months of May and August for the first calendar aren't even halfway finished because Vega-kun and Abarai-kun haven't taken as many pictures as everyone else."

Kyōraku looked around the room, "okay, so where are they?"

"Work." Kyōraku looked over at Grimmjow sprawled out on a single loveseat by himself, "Las Noches is working their employees like crazy because of the holiday. Fucking jerks..."

"Ah. So because of their other job Vega-kun and Abarai-kun are not only not here now but haven't fully completed their months?" Hanatarō nodded. "I see... and of the other months? Are they completed?"

"No, but I have enough pictures for the other ten months I just have to finalize a few things to get them completed. Well, I mean I _did_ until you pulled that last minute switch because there are no pictures of Ukitake-san."

"Right... Jaegerjaquez-kun, as the other half, I'll need you to assist me with what you think Abarai-kun will approve of with his pictures." The blue-haired teen nodded slowly and Kyōraku tapped his chin, "now as for Vega-kun... any volunteers?"

"I'll do it!" Grimmjow glared at the blond in the chair next to his raising his hand. "I'll even go straight to the source."

"That's good to know Ōtoribashi-kun."

"Psst! Chi, why is Grimmjow so ...somber?"

"Well for one he _really_ doesn't like that Rose guy because he felt up Renji at the tea school a few weeks ago and secondly its as he says." Shūhei rose an eyebrow. "Renji's been working almost everyday for the past three weeks. I went to Las Noches yesterday and Renji isn't doing too good himself. This is the longest they've ever been separated since they met... which was when they were four and last I checked they were both eighteen so yeah..."

Shūhei whistled, "then you came into the picture when you all were five right?"

"Six."

"Right... so what's the deal are they co-dependent on one another or something?" Yumichika nodded. "I see... but what about you? I mean you don't seem dependent on either of them, well you are slightly dependent on Renji."

"Of course I am... Renji is an incredibly dependable person but that's beside the point. During the year and a half before I came into the picture the closeness was already forged between Renji and Grimmjow."

"Okay. Jaegerjaquez-kun, Ōtoribashi-kun I'll need you two to talk to Baraggan-san for me – I'll come if you can't convince him to lend me our shared employees for some picture." Kyōraku sighed. "I intended on shooting a group shot but that's kind of impossible at the moment."

"How are we going to convince him? Ask for a trade or something?" Yumichika, Grimmjow, Rose, Kyōraku, Hanatarō, and Ukitake all stared at Starrk leaning on Grimmjow's chair "...You're kidding, right?"

"No Starrk-kun, in fact that's perfect!"

— —

"Ichigo...? Ichigo!" Brown eyes snapped open, glaring at the three idiotic faces looming over his. It had been about three weeks since his double date with Grimmjow (and Yumichika) which followed their 'do-over date' from the cultural festival – which would forever haunt him because he was still known as the guy who defiled the maid cafe.

Anyway, blatant sexual innuendos aside Ichigo, although he would never admit it out loud, actually formed a rather interesting platonic friendship with Grimmjow; who still seemed to enjoy calling him _Berry_ which was the redhead's new identifier around the blue-haired teen's close friends and Ichigo's own friends even started calling him by Grimmjow's nickname. Despite the dating aura the two teens, apparently, seemed to exude around others Ichigo made it blatantly clear that he wasn't looking for a relationship ...which included the status of sex friends that the blue-haired teen grudgingly accepted after three failed negotiation attempts.

It was the twenty-first of December and Rukongai University was on break until the new year, as was the tea school. Almost every student in Rukongai was getting ready to leave the campus to see their families. His father threatened to bring him home himself if Ichigo didn't stop by for Christmas so the redhead reluctantly agreed; unfortunately, he had been hanging out with Grimmjow that day so the Kurosaki home was going to have one more mouth to feed for the holidays.

His family already knew about the break-up with Uryū and if he thought his friends were happy about it no one seemed happier than his father. Sure he and Uryū's father, Ryūken, had been good friends since before any of their children were born but neither father was all that happy to have their children in a relationship with one another.

Ichigo was sure his old man would almost immediately think he and Grimmjow were dating then proceed to break out the baby pictures and all other sorts of embarrassing Kurosaki media all the while congratulating Ichigo for finally moving on. Ichigo tried to clarify their friendship over the phone but his father just wasn't having it. And that blue-haired bastard would probably have a field day seeing him flustered; Grimmjow already stated he was going to evoke every possible facial expression Ichigo was capable of creating – and then some.

Speaking of Grimmjow, during the three weeks of hanging out together almost every other day, the blue-haired teen told him that both he and Renji were orphans so they usually spent the holidays terrorizing the streets of Tokyo or bawling out Christmas carols until people paid them to stop. They planned on doing the latter again this year but Las Noches, apparently, didn't close on the holidays so Renji was scheduled to work. Nearly every. Damn. Day! And the rare days Renji wasn't working he was asleep because he was too tired to do anything else. Because Las Noches was now open every day, all day, until the twenty-sixth Grimmjow was without his partner in crime so the blue-haired teen's normally cheerful, borderline arrogant demeanor was instantly deflated and even his seireitei customers could hear it... but that only brought on more customers trying to cheer him up. It was one hell of a sales pitch – if Grimmjow was actually trying.

"Are you leaving tonight?" Ikkaku asked sitting at the foot of Ichigo's bed. Sitting up the redhead shook his head. "I heard your sisters were looking around for you all week."

"Yeah. I know..." Ichigo stared his roommate up and down, "what did you do to piss Yumichika off now?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really?"

"I heard everything was fine until you ran away... _again._" Ikkaku glared at the black-haired teen who cleared his throat then turned in the opposite direction.

"Mizuiro is right you know." Ikkaku glared at Chad. Being Ichigo's best friend the brunet was clearly immune to all forms of glares no matter how deadly, "During one of our tests Ayasegawa-kun was stabbing his pencil into a piece of paper with your picture attached to it. I suggest you fix your problem before he breaks out a voodoo doll or something."

"Yeah, yeah. Its no big deal Yumi's pretty temperamental."

Ichigo, Chad, and Mizuiro stared incredulously at their friend. "Yumi!" They asked causing Ikkaku to blush slightly.

"Ichigo~!" Ikkaku sighed in relief as Keigo merrily waltzed into the bedroom. As usual the brunet provided a well timed distraction. Even though it was only the middle of the winter semester, Asano Keigo couldn't put up the funds necessary to keep his tuition and therefore was no longer a registered student at Rukongai University and had to clear his belongings out of the dorm he shared with Chad since non students are not allowed to sleep in the dorms.

The school tuition was due on the twelfth to beat holiday traffic and Keigo didn't get paid from seireitei until the following week, despite not actually having a posted page yet, and because his word wasn't worth shit they pretty much ejected the brunet from the school post haste.

Keigo had told them, a few days ago, that his page wouldn't be up on the website until January 1st for reasons he didn't even know. However, because he came in earlier in the month, Keigo received his end of the year holiday bonus along with some of the veterans – of course it was only natural Keigo's bonus wasn't as much as the others but it was good enough and with this bit of seireitei money, the brunet was able to find an apartment close to the campus but not on the property until spring when he could re-apply if he chose. But Ichigo severely doubted Keigo would return especially if he got frequent clients with seireitei.

"Where were you?"

"Hm? I was at a meeting. I practically had to run all the way over here!"

"Why? Couldn't you just call or something?"

"No! This is the kind of thing you have to do in person." The brunet merrily plopped down at the foot of Ichigo's bed next to Ikkaku. "Its snowing Ichigo!" Chad walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains apart to emphasize Keigo's excitement. Tiny barely recognizable flurries were dropping down in front of the window.

"So?"

The brunet kept shaking up and down on the bed much to its owner's dismay. "So! Remember, you said if it started snowing before the new year that you would take us skiing!"

Ichigo's eyes widened. "I said that?"

"Yeah..." Ikkaku flopped back on the bed despite the incessant shaking of his best friend, "we figured it was a rare occasion for you to get so shitfaced that we'd sorta get some stuff out of ya. You know, make you do a whole bunch of crap your prudish ass wouldn't normally do?"

"I'm not a prude!"

"Then prove it, you're sober now aren't ya? Lets go skiing."

"But—"

"Come on!"

"Skiing, skiing, skiing!" The others chanted.

"Shut up!" Ichigo sighed rubbing his forehead, "as I was saying what about the holidays, aren't you guys going home?"

"Hell no." Keigo replied stretching as he continued to shake, "my parents and nee-chan aren't even home. They sent me a postcard last week from Paris – _Paris!_ You know in France? Those bastards had the nerve to use all the money they stopped putting in for my tuition to pay for a vacation for three!"

"Well damn, you've got me beat." Ikkaku shrugged, "I really don't wanna go home either."

"Well I do—" Ikkaku elbowed him, "uh... I mean. I'll ski too. Its the perfect opportunity to see Keigo-kun falling on his face."

"Ha, freaking ha. Yuck it up Kojima."

Chad nodded, "I'll go too. It should be fun."

"Fine. We'll go skiing!" Mizuiro, Ikkaku, and Keigo cheered, "but I gotta at least make an appearance on Christmas. My dad will fucking gut me if I don't."

"That sounds doable." Ikkaku smirked. "Hell, we'll go with you."

Ichigo's left eye twitched. "Great. So, what else did you guys have me do when I was drunk?"

Keigo tapped his chin, "lets see... there was the skiing, we tried to have you streak around Rukongai but you weren't drunk enough because you refused." Ichigo facepalmed. "You did agree to strip to your boxers in the campus lounge which you already did the same day. What else was there?"

Mizuiro shrugged. "It was spur of the moment so we really couldn't think of anything good."

"Oh! The hot tub!" Keigo suddenly said nodding. "You know how whenever we go to an onsen you usually wear a towel? You said the next time we go you'll be naked."

Ichigo shook his head, "I couldn't have said that." Ikkaku, Mizuiro, and Chad all nodded. "No. I-I _did_?" The trio nodded again.

"We can kill two birds with one stone there." Ikkaku began, "just get a ski resort with an onsen."

— —

"Just five more days..." Ggio announced with a sigh. "Then we'll be able to take a break. Hey, shouldn't this place be closed on Christmas? I mean, not only is Christmas on our normal closed day but its also a holiday."

"Hey, that's good!" Abirama said nodding to himself, "go ask him."

"Me? Why?"

"Because you thought it up; you're the smart one Ggio." The shorter teen rolled his eyes.

"I won't even dignify your stupidity with a response, besides I'm too fucking tired." Amber eyes narrowed. "Isn't that my boss?"

"Baraggan-sama? I thought he was in the office?" Ggio shook his head forcibly turning the taller teen's head toward the entrance where Kyōraku, Grimmjow, Yumichika, Starrk, Hanatarō, Ukitake and Rose were all entering. "Oh, _that_ boss."

Out of nowhere, Apacci was at the front of the store in a heartbeat. "What do I owe this pleasure of having so many handsome men in the store at one time?"

"I need to talk to Baraggan-san." The black-haired teen merely stared at Kyōraku for a few seconds before nodding, turning on her heels and heading toward the boss' office. Knocking only once, the door flew open nearly hitting her.

"Ah, Shun-chan, as always its a pleasure."

"I have a proposition for you, Baraggan-san." The old man nodded. "I need to borrow three of your employees, as an exchange I will give you three of mine."

"I know you need Abarai and Vega, but who might the third be?"

"Redder-kun, of course. He submitted his application of sorts to seireitei."

Baraggan nodded. "Who are you giving me? Pretty boy, the shrimp and loud mouth?"

"No, no. I need the shrimp." Kyōraku shook his head. "I mean Yamada-kun. I need Yamada-kun and Jaegerjaquez-kun too. But I will give you both pretty boys and Starrk-kun for your employees."

Baraggan wasted no time looking this Starrk kid up and down. Out of all Renji's eccentric friends this wavy-haired one was the only one he never got a good look at; he even saw the scrawny blond one more! "I accept. Starrk, was it?" The black-haired teen nodded. "Ayasegawa and ...whoever you are. Head to the locker room to get your shirts, your work will affect the pay of the employees you are replacing."

Ggio paled. He couldn't afford to have one of those idiots fucking with his paycheck! He was fairly popular on seireitei but living with Abirama wasn't cheap, that bastard had the nerve to get them an expensive apartment then eat everything in sight – which happened to be food comprised of the most expensive ingredients money could buy! Even a slight deduction in his pay would send him to the poor house and that would only double if the big idiot actually got a job with seireitei...

Just as quickly as they left for the locker room they returned dressed for work.

"That was fast, impressive." Baraggan nodded. "Ayasegawa, you'll be taking over Vega's position on the register; Starrk will be stocking in place of Abarai and this blond fellow will be taking over for Redder also stocking."

"Um, Baraggan-san... I don't know how to use a cash register."

"Not a problem. Apacci and Kira will assist you. Oh wait, Kira has the day off. Apacci and Loly will..." He glanced at the two girls seemingly foaming at the mouth, "on second thought Vega will help you before he leaves."

Said teen nodded to Baraggan who nodded back.

"Alright..." Ggio began with a sigh heading over to the register with his replacement in tow, "its not that difficult using a register. The customer will place their stuff on the counter and you just have to use the bar code reader to scan their items then bag them. When they pay you, you give them their change. The register will open when you put in the amount they gave you, you don't even have to figure out how much money they get back because the register does that for you. I mean, it always helps to double check the change you get but you don't have to do much else."

"Why are you explaining this to me like I'm some sort of idiot?"

Ggio facepalmed. "You said you didn't understand how to use a register!"

"I know that, I understand the concept though."

The shorter teen pinched the bridge of his nose. "Then I apologize, its just that my financial well-being is in your hands."

"Why? You're a pretty hot commodity on seireitei."

"Not as much as you or Jaegerjaquez but I get by. Oh! Before I forget, you'll need a password to get into the register but I'm sure Baraggan-sama will help you out with that."

Yumichika nodded. "You can count on me Vega-kun, I might even make some more money for you." He said with a wink.

"Thanks." Nodding to the taller teen Ggio headed over to where Ukitake, Kyōraku, Grimmjow, Renji and Hanatarō were standing.

"Okay people, lets roll! We'll see you in a few hours Baraggan-san!"

"Don't work too hard Yumi! You too Starrk!" Grimmjow hollered as he left the store. Starrk's reply was flipping him the bird and Yumichika merely glared at him.

"Lets get to work rookies, you may be handsome replacements but you won't just get by on your good looks." Yumichika sighed; that was exactly what he was counting on! "If you're going to be Vega, then you need to stay at the register at all times." The black-haired teen nodded. "You taller gentlemen follow me."

Starrk and Rose exchanged glances before following the old man.

Rukia nearly dove behind an aisle as she saw a group of handsome men exiting the convenience store. While she wasn't necessarily stalking – as stalking usually involved following around a person – she was just getting in some last minute shopping, it was almost Christmas and the eighteen-year-old wasn't finished with her shopping. Violet eyes narrowed as Rukia spotted that familiar sliver of red hair. With the unwanted visitors still at her home Rukia didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of contacting Renji outside of seireitei.

Byakuya had pulled the disappearing act of the century not bothering to come home since Yoruichi and Kūkaku came to visit about three weeks ago. Either the nineteen-year-old had a sixth sense about their arrival or someone outside the family tipped him off. Not to knock her own brother's personality or anything but Byakuya didn't seem to have many, if any, close friends – of course if he did they would be loosening him up instead of some incredibly hot stranger. If Rukia had any knowledge of any friends of Byakuya's with anything remotely close to a fun personality concocting this plan wouldn't be necessary.

With Byakuya not in the house and their father no longer trying to find out why all of the attention had turned to Rukia. Every minute of every hour someone in that house was talking or hanging around her, it was a miracle in itself that she was allowed to leave the house by herself. It was understandable that Byakuya wanted nothing to do with this but he could have at least told her so she could leave too!

Rukia saw a sliver of red hair exiting with the group so she couldn't possibly bombard him when they never met face-to-face. "Dammit!"

"Can I help you?" Rukia nearly jumped in the air at the voice that came out of nowhere. Having calmed down slightly, she turned around facing the voice's owner and her jaw dropped. Clad in what appeared to be the Las Noches uniform was seireitei's own Ayasegawa Yumichika pursing his lips in something akin to a scowl and his purple eyes narrowed. It didn't take a genius to figure out he clearly wasn't pleased about being here and apparently the prospect of a swearing, suspicious looking customer didn't make the job any better.

When she finally regained her sense without the need of slapping herself Rukia shook her head. "No thank you." She squeaked.

"Yumi!" Looking over his shoulder he saw a taller black-haired teen walking over to them. Rukia gulped immediately recognizing the newcomer, Hisagi Shūhei, from both the university and the seireitei website. "Grimmjow asked me to ask you to do something for him." He said glancing over to Rukia nodding in acknowledgment. As another second year, Shūhei was familiar with her brother and by extension her. He could be something akin to a friend to Byakuya but they rarely spoke to one another outside school grounds.

"I'm sorry, what?"

Shūhei sighed. "I just bumped into Grimmjow on the way here. He needs you to do something for him but he can't leave Kyōraku-san's place until their pictures are finished. I'm only here because I wasn't aware we were supposed to be at Kyōraku-san's place to begin with." Yumichika rose an eyebrow. "Anyway. To start off, Grimm told me to tell you to contact that guy you went on the double date with. Secondly, he said that Berry told him that his friends were planning a ski trip in two days and we're all invited so you have to tell Starrk."

"Okay..."

"You also have to convince Hanatarō-kun to come."

"Seriously?" The black-haired teen shrugged, "fine. I'll see what I can do. So..." Yumichika looked Starrk up and down, "are you going to buy something or keep soliciting?"

"I'm not soliciting, I'm passing on a message." Grinning, Shūhei patted Rukia on the head, "better be careful with this one she's the iemoto's imōto."

Eyes widening, Yumichika's head snapped toward Rukia. The black-haired teen immediately recognized that look, the look of pure unadulterated fear whenever her brother was mentioned _especially_ since Yumichika attended the tea school and screwed up several times in the time span of a single month.

"Wait!" Grabbing the taller teen's forearm Yumichika pulled him down an empty aisle. "Do not leave me alone with her, her brother scares the hell out of me!"

"Would you relax? Kuchiki-kun is pretty okay, I have several classes with him and provided that you don't piss him off he's really easy to talk to."

"You fucking moron, I've pissed him off more times than I've talked to him! I probably cost the school _thousands_ of yen in tea and equipment. Its a miracle I haven't been fired yet!"

"You can't get fired from a tea school, its completely voluntary."

"I'll be the first person to get fired from a tea school!"

"You're about to be the first person fired from a job they don't have."

"Huh?" Yumichika turned around spotting his 'boss' standing in front of him.

"What are you doing Ayasegawa?"

"Uh... uh...?" Seeing Rukia still standing beside him, Yumichika wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Helping this young lady out."

Baraggan looked down at the black-haired girl who nodded eagerly. "Carry on then." Nodding, the old man retreated back from where he came.

Sighing in relief, Yumichika let go of Rukia. "Sorry about that. So, can I help you with something? I apologize for my earlier behavior, but you see I'm kinda in a bad mood."

"Your mood is about to get worse." Shūhei replied popping up again pointing at the entrance. Rukia gulped seeing the taller teen visibly seethe at the bald teen walking through the convenience store's entrance.

— —

"I thought you were heading to the tea school last week?" Szayel lowered the book he was reading to look at the lanky black-haired teen crawling toward him. Nnoitra vertically took up the entire king size bed and then some. The two teens were currently in the pink-haired teen's bedroom on his bed relaxing, with no more exams to study for Szayel was more than happy for a break... even if he was disturbed by his so-called idiot boyfriend.

"What are you talking about? I went two weeks ago when you asked me and to be honest I actually forgot what I went for."

Nnoitra facepalmed. "You probably forgot because you were too busy ogling the other guys."

"Oh? Like you weren't ogling at the dojo? You spent the last two weeks there everyday."

"Don't tell me you're jealous?"

"Hardly. Was Jaegerjaquez-kun there?"

"Yup. But I didn't get the chance to fight or even get close to him him with the crazy ass new co-senseis."

"Otōto." Szayel looked up at his older twin brother standing in the doorway smirking. "Gilga has a visitor."

"Me?"

"We're not really dating in secret or anything but no one would know Nnoitra was here unless..." The taller teen facepalmed. "It was a pleasure getting to know you."

"I agree, somewhat." Yylfordt added.

Glaring at the blond, Nnoitra reluctantly stood then left the room sending one last glance at a waving Szayel before leaving.

"Should we be alarmed or is he being overly-dramatic as usual?"

"A little bit of both I'm afraid, I just hope the house isn't in danger." The blond could only nod in agreement.

Attempting to keep a calm facade, Nnoitra gingerly walked down the stairs and as he expected Ulquiorra was leaning against the door. "I had a feeling you'd be here."

"How did you get Szayel's address?"

"Its amazing what the student government are willing to look up especially when it concerns their vice president."

"So you got one of the goons to stalk him?"

"His brother actually, but that's not why I'm here."

"Why are you so obsessed with Jaegerjaquez anyway?" Nnoitra inwardly gulped as Ulquiorra's right eye twitched slightly.

"I'm not obsessed and as I recall I said if you brought him to me I'd answer any questions you had."

"Look, its not my fault he doesn't stay in the same place! If I knew someone that knew him this would be easier." Nnoitra's eyes widened. "Oh! I do. I guarantee I'll give him to you before the year is over."

"I don't want your guarantee Gilga, I just want results."

"Right. Just answer me this one question before you go." The shorter teen just stared. "Its obvious you need to tie up some loose ends with Jaegerjaquez. I saw a picture in Yadōmaru's year book from junior high and there was a picture in which you two were hanging off one another all buddy-buddy. So my question is... what happened between you two?"

Ulquiorra looked Nnoitra up and down, "nothing happened and that's the problem." With that he turned on his heels and left the house.

"Is it safe to come out now?" Yylfordt asked leaning at one side of the top of the staircase while Szayel was at the other side.

"Yeah. Granz, you have Yadōmaru's number right?" The blond nodded slowly, "I need to talk to her."

"Yeah, I'll call her but what do you need to talk to her about?"

"Jaegerjaquez."

"She knows him?" Szayel asked.

"No, but she knows someone who does." The twins exchanged glances not trusting the look in the black-haired teen's eyes. Nevertheless, the blond pulled his cellphone out of his pocket giving it to Nnoitra who pressed the button displaying Yadōmaru Lisa's phone number. After a few rings someone picked up the phone.

"_This had better be good."_

"Yadōmaru-chan, its your best buddy~" Nnoitra replied putting the cell on speaker phone. "I need Ise's phone number."

There was a loud sigh on the other line. _"Fine Gilga, I do owe you a favor. I'll text it to you, but keep in mind she's a bit temperamental."_

"Hold on." Yylfordt interrupted. "We saw the yearbook pictures too... wouldn't Ise be able to give Cifer Jaegerjaquez herself? Why are we going through all this trouble?"

"We? What's this we business Granz? I don't see you doing a damn thing—" Nnoitra's eyes narrowed, "wait a minute, you were listening to my conversation with Cifer?"

"_Oh, you're trying to get in contact with Jaegerjaquez? You don't need Nanao to do that."_ The three teens looked down at the cellphone in Nnoitra's hand. _"What you need to do is talk to Odelschwanck..." _

Nnoitra's eyes widened and having recognized that name Szayel's eyes narrowed glancing at the taller teen. He heard the stories of the relationship between Odelschwanck Nelliel and one Gilga Nnoitra. Before they started dating Nnoitra was involved with the buxom green-haired teen for _years_. As Nnoitra was undeniably a sex addict any person who can sate him was rather impressive – Szayel himself had a bit of a tough time in that category but they were only dating a few months.

"_...I'll put you through to Gingerbuck. Don't hang up."_

At the ringing on the other line Nnoitra snapped out of his stupor. The last time he and Nelliel were conversing she was getting on a plane about two years ago; the last time they had sex was a few days before that...

Nnoitra never thought he would be in another relationship so he told Nel to contact him when she returned but the flighty idiot probably forgot. Unless Nel herself was in a relationship which wasn't completely unheard of.

"_Yeah?"_ A disgruntled voice began. _"This is Gingerbuck Lilynette, what do you want?"_

"I need to get in contact with Jaegerjaquez, Gingerbuck-san."

The laugh on the other line made the three teens flinch. _"Right, good luck with... wait! I could do that. Well not me—"_

"Son of a bitch!" Nnoitra screamed.

"_Hold your horses, Gilga was it? I never said it was impossible I just said its not me who can contact him. But don't worry I've been meaning to pay my brother a visit ...this may be a flimsy pretense but whatever, after seeing him on that website I'm more than just a bit curious—"_

"Jaegerjaquez is your brother?"

"_What? No! He isn't my brother you idiot one of his friends is. I only know they know one another through the pictures on the website."_

"So..." Yylfordt began, "which employee is your brother Gingerbuck-san?"

"_Like I'd tell you whoever you are, besides you'd never figure it out anyway."_ Lilynette sighed, _"you still there Lisa?"_

"_Yeah, I'm here. Just listening intently. Call me when you're in town so we can meet up. Gilga, when's your deadline for getting Jaegerjaquez?"_

"The end of the year." He sighed. Both girls whistled. "Why?"

"_Just curious, I know you're always getting yourself into this kinds of situations."_ The bespectacled teen on the other line tsked. _"You really should learn to pick your battles..." _Nnoitra glared at the twins who nodded in agreement.

— —

Sighing inwardly, Hanatarō opened his apartment door walking inside. He only had about an hour to goof off before he had to return to take more of his own pictures, he tried to play it off saying his month was completed by switching it with a different employee but Ukitake caught him in the end and made him correct it. The white-haired man then apologized because if he had to be in the calendar then so did Hanatarō.

The black-haired teen was then instructed by Kyōraku to change into something more 'sexful' then return. But truthfully, as he kicked everyone out, Hanatarō was sure he just wanted some alone time with the birthday boy much to said man's dismay.

Toeing off his shoes he spotted two larger pairs of shoes tucked neatly in the corner of the hallway and he couldn't help the outward sigh that spilled out of his lips.

It wasn't _completely_ unheard of to have two best friends – Yumichika had five (or so he said – the number steadily increased depending on the situation). Hanatarō only had one best friend: Muguruma Kensei; unfortunately Kensei had _two _best friends... Yamada Hanatarō and Eishima Shinobu.

Hanatarō didn't particularly have a problem with the redhead but the redhead seemed to have a genuine problem with him. Shinobu told him that he was in love with Kensei and wouldn't hesitate to take him from Hanatarō – who truly didn't have any sexual feelings toward Kensei despite his selfish desire to monopolize the gray-haired teen as much as possible.

Frowning, Hanatarō headed to his bedroom. He had bigger things to worry about than the redhead right now. The black-haired teen had less than ten days to attempt to convince Kensei to at least make an appearance on the first seireitei calender. Hanatarō normally wasn't the procrastinating type but he honestly didn't know how his roommate would react so he decided it was safest to put it off as long as he could.

Kensei, as sweet as he was, possessed one deadly hair-trigger temper ...and the eighteen-year-old didn't photograph that well either. Every single picture the gray-haired teen took in his lifetime came out terrible despite his good looks.

Kensei was known for his perpetual frown so getting him to smile usually turned out disastrously! _Smile? _Hanatarō's frown deepened; lots of people had awkwardly forced smiles but ...there was a small possibility of Kensei being the same kid that saved Shūhei twelve years ago. Seeing as how he wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't go blabbing to anyone about it.

Hanatarō and Kensei were the same age, technically the black-haired teen was three months older but whatever and Shūhei was about a year or so older than them so Kensei had to be six around the time it happened and Hanatarō met the gray-haired teen in third grade when they were eight so he wouldn't know anything about that.

Shinobu might know about it and it was also possible he was the redhead Shūhei saw with Kensei – if they were the same people. Hanatarō sincerely doubted he could get an honest answer out of Shinobu if in involved Kensei in anyway so asking him was out.

"I thought I heard the door." Hanatarō nearly jumped when he heard the gray-haired teen's voice. Kensei was leaning against the doorway, "you okay?" As he expected, Shinobu came out of nowhere languidly leaning on the slightly shorter teen.

"Oh, hello Hanatarō-kun." Hanatarō couldn't help but frown at the smile directed at him.

"Hi and I'm fine Ken-kun, but I need to ask you something." He glanced at Shinobu causing Kensei to look at him too.

"What?"

"Alone." Grumbling under his breath, the redhead walked off.

"Ken-kun..." Hanatarō sighed preparing himself. Might as well get this over with, stalling even further would only make this situation worse – if possible. "Kyōraku-san told me he'd triple my pay ...if I got you to make an appearance on seireitei."

"What do you mean 'an appearance?'"

Hanatarō blinked at the gray-haired teen fully expecting him to lash out on a moment's notice. Last time Hanatarō suggest Kensei join seireitei the gray-haired teen broke the glass he was holding with his bare hands, though it might have been due to shock rather than rage.

"Just some pictures on the calendar, you don't need a page or anything ...if you don't want."

Hanatarō gulped as Kensei folded his arms over his chest and tilted his head to the right in a classic thinking pose. Kyōraku might have been right about his best friend indulging him, either that or Kensei was thinking of a nice way to decline. It wasn't as though Kensei was incapable of saying no to him because he did, often.

Hanatarō's seireitei phone chose that moment to ring loudly. "S-Sorry about that." Gathering his bearings he answered the phone. Hopefully the client wouldn't want to have phone sex because that was still pretty awkward for him. "Moshi moshi this is—"

"_Yamada Hanatarō-chin, right?" _Hanatarō gulped almost immediately recognizing the husky voice on the other end. Just when he thought this day couldn't possibly get any worse, he was wrong.

Seeing his roommate's discomfort Kensei reached for the phone but Hanatarō stopped him. "Yes... this is Yamada, what can I do for you?"

"_No, no. Its not what you can do for me, its what I'm going to do for you."_

"_Are you sure that's him? Why didn't you just use the phone number I gave you?" _

Hanatarō's eyes narrowed, he recognized the second voice even more than the first. "Yumichika-kun?"

"_Yeah?_" The second voice chirped.

"_Move dammit."_ Some murmuring was heard before someone cleared their throat. _"Anyway, I have a proposition for you Hanatarō-chin._" The pause made Hanatarō even more nervous, if he was capable of it. _"You and Muguruma-kun are cordially invited to a friendly skip trip on the ...two days from now, the twenty-third – that's what I said. Now, don't even think about refusing because I'll keep calling you until you agree. Hell, I'll even stalk you if necessary. So don't make this out to be more difficult than it has to be and just say yes."_

"_Damn Starrk, you're not supposed to torture him you were only supposed to invite him!"_

"_That's not what Grimmjow said, he said by any means necessary."_

"_I swear you're such an idiot!"_

"_Why? Did you think I would miss an opportunity to snuggle with Hanatarō-chin in a warm and cozy setting?"_

"Uh, Starrk-san, I'd like to talk to Yumichika-kun please."

"_Move. What's up? Wait, are you still with Grimmjow and Renji?"_

"N-No. I'm at my place."

"_I said move Starrk! Oh shit, we have to get back to work. I'll call you later – from your regular cell this time." _Hanatarō blinked as he was hung up on.

"Is everything alright?"

Forcing a smile, the black-haired teen nodded. "Yumichika-kun invited us to go skiing on the twenty-third."

"For how long?"

"He didn't say, I guess he'll tell me when I head back over there."

"Right... now about this picture thing." Hanatarō gulped, "I guess I'll do it." The black-haired teen resisted the strong urge to stare vacantly at his best friend with his mouth agape while cleaning out his ears. Kensei actually agreed? Willingly? Hanatarō waited for the ultimatum but it didn't come. Kensei rose an eyebrow, "what's with the face?"

"Face? What face?"

Kensei sighed, "you make a lot of money at the website right?" Hanatarō nodded slowly. "I think I might have to take you up on your offer of joining. Temporarily of course and don't misinterpret anything I don't exactly enjoy this kind of thing!"

"R-Right. C-Can I ask why you'd consider joining in the first place?"

Kensei sighed. "When I went to get my physical yesterday, Unohana-sensei said I was pretty tense and should lay off the physical activities for a while." Hanatarō nodded. Kensei had been working since before they went to high school so that had to be a good four or five years that he was at these strenuous jobs pushing his limits in ways most people wouldn't even imagine.

Unohana Retsu was a doctor that also happened to be in charge of Rukongai's infirmary; her main office was located close to the campus so it was easily accessible to all, because of the gray-haired teen's stubborn, threatening personality every doctor in the immediate area referred him to the fearless black-haired woman to ensure their own safety.

With Kensei's boxing he had to frequently see a doctor to make sure he was still in his weight range and healthy ...along with all the other things boxers needed to do. In addition to three or four odd jobs he worked everyday, not to mention he also boxed/worked out at the recreation center when he wasn't working. Hanatarō was fairly certain one of Kensei's jobs _was_ in a fitness center so one job had him working while working out but that was irrelevant. If Kensei worked seven days a week for at least sixteen hours then worked out the other eight hours when the hell did he manage to sleep? And if he didn't sleep how was he staying awake?

"Um, I-I understand. I guess."

Kensei scowled, "Unohana-sensei has her goon squad on patrol checking on me so I can't sneak away to work – at the same time I can't just sit on my ass letting you pay the rent all by yourself especially since you got school too."

"I-I really don't mind, but okay. Why don't you come with me when I head back?"

The gray-haired teen shrugged, "I guess I could."

Shinobu stuck his head into the doorway. "Can I come back in now?" Hanatarō nodded and the redhead walked in. "Listen, I gotta go. I'll catch up with you later Kensei." The gray-haired teen nodded and Shinobu walked off.

Blushing slightly, Hanatarō looked Kensei up and down. True to form on the exceptionally rare days that Kensei had a day off he was clad in a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "You might want to change before we go..." If Kyōraku got a look at the gray-haired teen's apparel he would make him go back and change and Hanatarō didn't want to keep spending money going home then coming back to the brunet's house. Kensei was clearly giving him the 'what's wrong with what I'm wearing' look so Hanatarō decided to explain. "K-Kyōraku-san said to dress more ...sexfully."

"Sexfully?" Hanatarō nodded. Kensei was a muscular guy and every article of clothing he wore were loose fitting so Hanatarō doubted he owned any 'sexful' clothes ...not that Hanatarō himself owned any clothes that would fit that particular description.

Last time they had a photo shoot Kyōraku had taken the liberty of getting a slew of fitted clothes in all sizes for his employees to wear beforehand. The only two employees under the 165cm mark were Ggio and Hanatarō and they were about ten centimeters apart so they each had a generous amount of clothing just for them to choose from. Kensei, however, was just shy of the ever popular 180cm+ so unless they were going to pin his clothing to tighten it Kyōraku would need to get some new clothing just for him.

"I'm not sure I know what sexfully means so you're gonna have to explain it to me."

"I'm not really sure what it means either, but either way you should put on something else." Shrugging, Kensei shuffled back into his room to change.


	9. 8: Hitting the Proverbial Slopes

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor would I ever even think to say I do. I make no money from writing fanfiction and blah, blah, blah. I also do not own any of the mentioned or referenced manga or video games.

* * *

"_A little snow, tumbled about, anon becomes a mountain."  
-William Shakespeare_

* * *

Kyōraku leaned back in his chair suppressing the pout that his lips were threatening to form. In the midst of the intimate picture taking between himself and his precious Jūshirō-chin those idiots at Rukongai called him in for some reason or whatever. The brunet sighed heavily, if they were calling him in to have some sort of surprise party he would be more than just a little pissed off. The only person who would be showering the white-haired man with their undivided attention and lavished gifts would be him!

The students might have been on break for the holidays since the nineteenth but the administrators stopped working on the twenty-third which was a Monday – besides today was Saturday.

A tentative knock at the door made the brunet's swivel chair slowly turn around until it was facing that unmistakable electric blue mane. "Boss~" The grin the teen was sporting was more than a little unsettling but Kyōraku sat up, "how would you like to go on a ski trip Monday?"

Kyōraku's eyes narrowed. Monday was two days from now which was also when Rukongai's senseis stopped working until the sixth of January...

"A friend of mine has all the details worked out and whatever so all we have to do is show up and as you're the hardest working guy of all I figured you would need a vacation more than any of us..." Grimmjow deposited himself on the desk, "besides you could have some alone time with Ukitake-san." As soon as the brunet's eyes widened Grimmjow's grin broadened. The deal was as good as sold, now to go in for the kill. "Of course, this trip would be better if _all_ the employees were able to make it. Ya know ...beansprout, that weird sandal hat guy from earlier, oh and Vega-kun too. Hmm... but, wait a minute, Vega can't really make it with Las Noches being open everyday until after Christmas." Frowning, Grimmjow tapped his fingers against the desk. "Perhaps— nah, that won't work."

"What?" He looked at the brunet literally hanging at the edge of his seat, "what won't work?"

"Maybe, if you got Baraggan-san to – I don't know – close Las Noches early we might be able to take all the employees there too? Everyone will be so distracted by one another that no one would even think to bother you."

Kyōraku's eyes widened. Alone time in a romantic ski resort with Jūshirō? What did he have to lose? "Deal." The brunet announced, "but _only_ if you get the trip moved up to today."

Grimmjow whistled, "today? Well, it is a bit short notice but I shall see what I can do boss." The blue-haired teen hopped off the table, shook hands with Kyōraku, then exited the room. He walked over to the couch where Renji was sprawled out. "Who's the greatest negotiator in the world?"

Renji's head snapped up looking at his upside down best friend. "No." He turned toward Grimmjow, "he actually agreed?"

"He did more than agree." Grimmjow hopped the couch plopping down next to Renji, "I just need to make a phone call to officially seal the deal."

Grimmjow scrolled down his contact list briefly before pressing a button. Putting the cell on speaker phone he held it between himself and Renji. After a few seconds of ringing a hoarse voice answered the phone, _"yeah?"_

"Berry!" Renji chuckled at the all too familiar groan on the other side. Over the last few weeks when Ichigo and Grimmjow became acquainted Renji heard the redhead groan more times than he could count but that reaction was typical wherever Grimmjow was concerned. "You sound awfully husky Berry, you're not thinking of me are you? And if you are allow me to provide the vocals necessary to complete your fantasy."

"_Did you call for a purpose?"_

"Yes, I did as a matter of fact. Is the sky trip date set in stone?"

"_No. Ikkaku's gonna make the reservations when he comes back."_

"Don't let him! I mean, don't do it for the twenty-third – make it for later today."

"_Have you lost your damn mind? Booking anything on such short notice will double, or even triple the damn price which wasn't cheap to begin with. Plus __**I**__ gotta pay for this shit and I'm not made of gold bars. What the fuck are you—"_

"Berry, Berry, Berry. You just let big blue handle the entrance fee; and as an added bonus I'll also pay for you, baldy and the big guy – any other friends ya got are on their own." They might have been over the phone but Grimmjow was almost certain the redhead's eyes were narrowing at the offer.

"_What's the catch?"_

"Catch? Why Berry I'm insulted! There is no catch ...unless you consider us sharing a room a catch."

"_I would... so how many of 'us' will be sharing a room?"_

"Well.. that depends on how many people can sleep in one room. But regardless of that you and I will be roomies."

After a brief silence Ichigo sighed, _"fine. But you had better book a place that has three or four to a room."_

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Listen, I'll call you back with all the details so you can tell your little friends." Once they said their goodbyes Grimmjow pressed the 'end call' button with an undeniable smirk of satisfaction.

"You just love fucking with him, don't you?"

"Ah, like you wouldn't believe." With his smirk still in place, Grimmjow sighed. "It puts a spring in my step." Renji shook his head then glanced over at Grimmjow who began randomly playing with his phone.

With Kyōraku doing who knows what in that office and him basically shooing Hanatarō to get 'sexed up' the pictures were put on hold once again. But Renji didn't mind he was getting free time from work (both jobs) and still getting paid (from both jobs).

Eyes narrowing, Renji glanced at a few of the pictures littering the wallpaper of Grimmjow's phone. Like he expected most of them were of the two of them together making stupid expressions and whatnot. "Let me see your phone." Shrugging, Grimmjow handed the phone to the redhead who opened the folder labeled _'berry torte.'_

Most of the pictures in the folder were of Ichigo who was obviously unaware of the pictures he was in. The pictures varied from Ichigo just getting out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist to him asleep on the floor sprawled out. If the pictures were in the redhead's dorm then Renji suspected the culprit was Ichigo's own roommate Ikkaku – the reason being if he produced pictures of Ichigo then Grimmjow would have to give him pictures of Yumichika in a similar state of dress ...or undress. A somewhat even albeit perverted trade, but that was what Grimmjow was best at.

However, the picture that caught Renji's interest making his eyebrows furrow wasn't of Ichigo. The picture was in the pre-defiled maid cafe during the cultural festival; it had Hanatarō wearing his adorable little maid costume blushing slightly. Now that Renji thought about it, Grimmjow was playing with his phone a lot before Ichigo threw up so he must have taken the flash off before taking some pictures. There were also several pictures of Renji, Starrk and Yumichika asleep and occasionally the picture in which they were all drawing on Shinji's face.

"You really have a disturbing hobby." Renji commented before giving the phone back.

"What do you mean man? You're the one that said kakushidori was popular." Renji stared at the grinning teen waggling his eyebrows, "besides if there is any consolation Berry has dozens of pictures of me not to mention you guys got a bunch of pictures with me in it. So really its no harm, no foul."

"Yeah... like I said, its really disturbing."

The front door opened and Grimmjow's grin broadened impossibly further. Hanatarō gulped closing the door behind the gray-haired teen. "You're just the guy I needed to see. We're going on a ski trip today."

"Today? I-I thought it was two days from now?"

Grimmjow shook his head, "there's been a change of plans actually. I apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused but I hope you two can still make it."

Renji had to scratch his head at that one; when Ichigo called them earlier in the afternoon about this whole ski trip ordeal both he and Grimmjow had been surprised beyond belief but eagerly agreed. Sure neither of them could ski but Yumichika couldn't either so it would be fun to have them all fall on their asses.

Even more surprising was when Grimmjow asked Yumichika to invite Hanatarō. It was blatantly obvious that the black-haired teen was terrified of Grimmjow though considering Starrk's constant sexual harassment he might be more afraid of the brunet now. As expected Yumichika seemed more than just a little skeptical but reluctantly agreed as he wanted Hanatarō there too and he made Grimmjow promise to be on his best behavior when they met and that was exactly what the blue-haired teen was doing. Much to Renji's surprise. Usually when Grimmjow made deals like this he quickly pointed out a loophole to work in his advantage but he didn't do it this time ...at least not yet.

Granted, Renji was certain Grimmjow was behaving in a less threatening manner so he could harass poor Ichigo without any interruptions but Ichigo didn't seem too perturbed by said harassing so it wasn't really hurting anyone.

"I'm sure we haven't been properly introduced." Grimmjow stood and bowed. "I'm Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow and this is my colleague Abarai Renji." Renji glanced at Grimmjow before he turned to the gray-haired teen bowing while still on the couch. Hanatarō and Kensei exchanged glances before the former nudged the latter. It was true he had yet to introduce Kensei to any of his seireitei employees even though they all saw him briefly a few times.

The gray-haired teen's left eyebrow twitched and he reluctantly bowed. "Muguruma Kensei." He bit out.

"Great." Hanatarō began, "now that we all know each other ...where is Kyōraku-san?"

The brunet's office door burst open. "Pack up your parkas and your snowshoes gentlemen! A ski trip awaits!" The teens exchanged glances, "oh... and you are? W-Wait, you wouldn't happen to be Muguruma-kun would you?" Glancing at Hanatarō who shrugged, Kensei nodded. "Wonderful~ This makes things better than expected. We'll shoot a group shot in the warmth of a ski lodge and add some ski related shots to each individual's page!"

"K-Kyōraku-san?" Gray eyes glanced at Hanatarō. "K-Ken-kun wants his own page... temporarily."

All eyes widened before glancing at the gray-haired teen. "Wow..." Kyōraku said. "This... I'm speechless." Renji, Grimmjow and Hanatarō all stared at the gray-haired teen who was blushing slightly looking off in another direction.

The silence was brief but expected. Hanatarō couldn't help but gape at his best friend, in their ten years of knowing one another he never saw Kensei blush before ...it was so cute~ It might have been a slight blush but it was a blush nonetheless.

Kyōraku broke the silence clearing his throat. "O-Okay. H-Hanatarō-kun you'll work on that won't you?" The black-haired teen nodded. "Sounds good. Welcome aboard Muguruma-kun. I'll get you the cellphone. Ah! Cellphone." The teens glanced skeptically at him, "Renji, you have the number of all your Las Noches co-workers don't you?"

"Uh... I have _most_ of their numbers."

"I already told Baraggan-san who is closing up the store as we speak but I can't call the employees who aren't working today; you see what you can do there and I'll send out a mass message to my employees telling them to come by prepared to ski their asses off."

— —

"Okay, _okay_, I understand. Yeah, I can be there in about twenty minutes. Alright, bye." Sighing, Jackie hung up her cellphone and flopped weightlessly down onto Nelliel's couch. After getting off work about an hour ago, she came over to the green-haired teen's house to relax and it was much closer than her own house. A tap on the shoulder made her look up at Nel staring skeptically at her. "Oh, it was nothing. My boss, the douche, is closing up the shop for like a week to go on some mandatory ski trip today. I can't ski worth a shit but it counts as a work week so showing up will get me paid ...but if I have to ski well I'm fucked."

"Ooh! Dude, I love skiing!" Nelliel exclaimed jumping on the couch kneeling next to the black-haired woman. "Can I tagalong?"

Jackie shrugged sitting up fully. "I guess but you'll probably have to pay your own way. Damn, I don't even have ski appropriate clothes."

"That's okay with me—" The front door opened and Byakuya toed off his shoes. "You're just in time Byakuya-kun, wanna go skiing with me and Jackie today? It'll definitely take your mind off home."

"I suppose I'll go, although I can't ski. Just let me call Rukia to make sure she's okay."

Nelliel waved him off, "dude nobody goes skiing to actually ski. And don't sweat it Rukia-chan is a big girl and I'm sure she's managing fine, besides you'll give away your location if you call her with all that GPS tracking shit going on nowadays." Nel's eyes widened. "Come to think of it, they might be doing that right now!"

Jackie shook her head. "Anyway, if you're tagging along we should get going. We're supposed to meet at the store. I guess they have to take a headcount or something."

"No need to pack people, lets roll!"

Jackie, Nelliel and Byakuya arrived at the Las Noches convenience store but only Jackie went inside much to her dismay. It was only a few hours since she was in here working, she _really_ didn't want to be here again.

"So glad you made it Tristan." The brunette sighed then nodded. "This whole thing was rather short notice but I believe I do owe all of you some sort of vacation so when Shun-chan told me I was happy to oblige. Now I can't force anyone who doesn't want to go to go; regardless of whether you want to or not you'll be getting paid today. I'm sure most of you have family members you'd rather spend the holidays with instead of friends so whoever doesn't want to go can leave."

Everyone in the store looked around before staring at the white-haired man. "No takers, alright. Keep in mind that you are all able to leave whenever you see fit... but you'll have to find your own way back if you leave before the allotted time. As I stated, I'm not forcing anyone to stay. According to Shun-chan, we'll be taking a bus to the ski resort."

"Uh, Baraggan-san?" Jackie rose her hand. "Is this trip strictly seireitei and Las Noches or are we allowed to bring friends with no affiliate to either one?"

The group shared collective questionable stares. "That is an excellent question. I believe there would be no harm." The door swung open and Kira gulped as the group stared at him. "I assume you were informed?" The blond nodded slowly. "Good. Time to board the bus."

"Now?"

"Of course. Shun-chan has quite a few connections." The employees exited the store and boarded the bus in an orderly fashion; as the old man was locking up the store Nelliel attempted to sneak onto the bus but Byakuya stopped her.

Baraggan turned around seeing the two nineteen-year-olds in front of him. "Ah! Odelschwanck, Kuchiki. I see Tristan stowed you two away?"

"Well, she would have if Byakuya didn't stop me." The green-haired teen clapped her hands together, "so... can we come along? _Pwease~?_" Shrugging, Baraggan nodded not missing the green-haired woman pumping her fist in the air excitedly.

Nelliel happily boarded the bus dragging Byakuya along. The two of them took the empty seats behind Jackie who was seated next to one of her co-workers.

"I'm so freaking stoked!" Nelliel exclaimed swaying from side to side. "I thought I would have to wait until I attended Rukongai to see the guys but I guess not. I am so getting the band back together on this ski trip~"

"Assuming they could all make it." Jackie sighed causing Nel to lean forward resting her head on the back of the brunette's chair. "Maybe they have better things to do."

"Doubt it – they couldn't have changed _that_ much in two years." She turned to Byakuya. "Could they?" A shrug was her response. "B-But, this trip... you said it— Shun-chan, that's ...that means Shunsui, right? The owner of seireitei? My friends are employees of seireitei!"

"Okay." Baraggan announced getting on the bus. "This is Parduoc, our bus driver." The tall man turned slightly facing the passengers, nodded, then turned back to his front. "This ski resort is three hours away and we'll be taking a rest in an hour and a half so keep that in mind." He turned to the bus driver and nodded before taking his seat. The driver nodded back then turned the ignition on starting up the bus.

Kira sighed slumping back in his seat. The blond fortunately was one of the first to board the bus so he managed to secure a seat in the way, _way_ back by himself – and the best part was it wasn't the side near the toilet so he didn't have to worry about that and as the bus was huge so there was bound to be a couple of empty seats left over anyway.

Sighing once more, the blond glanced at the cellphone in his hands. It was surprising to say the least when Abirama called him, on his day off no less, convincing him to attend their so called 'company' ski trip. Prior to their bathroom ...session, the two teens barely interacted unless necessary and honestly Kira didn't remember giving him his phone number and even post bathroom nothing sort of changed between them – not that Kira had an interest in things changing.

It was possible that Abirama got his phone number from Renji as the redhead was the only Las Noches employee to have Kira's number in the first place and the two of them were sort of friends so it wasn't that far of a stretch.

His cellphone buzzed in his hand and the blond nearly dropped it on the floor but he managed to juggle it briefly before it fell in front of his lap on the chair. Blue eyes read the caller I.D. that displayed the surname Abarai. With a sigh of relief, he picked up the phone. "Moshi moshi?"

"_Kira? Are you at Las Noches?"_

"No. We're on the bus heading to the ski resort."

"_I told you they were leaving on their own, that's why we came back here!_" Kira's eyebrows furrowed as he heard Yumichika's voice in the background. Not that the voices of Renji's friends weren't distinct enough already but Kira heard them complaining around the redhead enough to easily recognize their voices.

"_Damn Yumi, he heard what you said he was just seeing if they left yet."_ Now it was Starrk's voice he heard. _"Besides, you only came here because you were so lonely~"_

Renji cleared his throat. _"So, you're on the bus right? Looks like we'll see ya there. Huh? What? No. Alright fine but make it quick."_

"_Kira?"_ The blond flinched slightly hearing Abirama's voice. _"I was hoping you'd come along. I got something to show ya whenever we get there."_ The blond gulped. It was no secret that Redder Abirama was one hell of a pervert, he was known for openly talking about his masturbation habits and various types of pornography along with some of his personal kinks – pretty much anything along a sexual manner, so any 'gift' and the like he had to share was definitely something along those lines. _"Yeah and Vega says hi and whatever. What? What do you mean your battery is dying? Ah. Alright, Kira see ya around."_

"_Yeah."_ Now Renji's voice was back on the phone and the other voices were murmuring in the background. _"Sorry for getting you involved in this man but I need someone to keep me sane."_

Kira couldn't help but chuckle at that. Renji appeared to be a magnet for weirdness ...as well as perverts but that was neither here nor there. "I'm happy to help but you need to return the favor."

"_Done. See ya at the ski resort dude."_

Sighing, Kira hung up then held the phone against his chest. It might be too much to expect this trip to not be insane and the blond was a bit of a pessimist but maybe things wouldn't be so bad. Blue eyes glanced up at Apacci and Loly's grinning faces over the chair in front of his.

"I totally owe Vega money, Kira, he said you'd come but I told him he was insane." Apacci began. "What made you change your mind? Or wanna come in the first place?"

"I didn't really have a reason to decline."

The two girls exchanged glances. "Couldn't have said it better myself." Loly stated nodding. "Dude, we are gonna have a shitload of fun on this trip!" The black-haired teen pumped her fist in the air. "Oh... I've noticed you didn't pack."

"I didn't have time. When Abi—_rah_ called me I couldn't—"

"Don't sweat it dude, none of us packed. We're supposed to be getting a whole new wardrobe appropriate for the conditions. We're gonna have our measurements taken and everything. You really should have gotten to the meeting earlier." Apacci nodded to herself sliding back down to her seat.

"By the way Kira... you and Abarai are kinda friends, right?" Kira rose an eyebrow, "can you give me his number—" The blond blinked as Loly was pulled down to her seat.

"Ignore her Kira." Apacci stated sighing. "Just remember getting there is half the fun."

— —

"Okay, time to board the bus~" Kyōraku announced through the megaphone. "The person you are sitting next to will be your 'buddy' for the trip both going and coming unless one of you leave for some reason in which case you will need to get a new 'buddy' or 'buddies.' Now, lets all remember the buddy system to avoid getting lost and whatever. I shall take this opportunity to thank Kurosaki-kun for extending this invitation to us."

As Kyōraku pointed to him Ichigo nodded blushing slightly. "I would also like to thank Jaegerjaquez-kun for assisting him." The blue-haired teen took a bow.

"I'll take a headcount Kyōraku." Urahara said smiling. The brunet glanced at the blond before nodding putting his arm around Ukitake's shoulder as an added precaution. No one was going to mess up the brunet's carefully laid out vacation with his companion and if _anyone_ had the intention doing so it was Urahara Kisuke. The blond had a thing for the white-haired man since their junior high school days but never got to confess because, like most people, he assumed the inseparable duo were an item ...which wasn't completely off the mark.

The blond counted off the pairs as they climbed aboard the bus then got on the bus himself when the task was complete. He sat across from Kyōraku and Ukitake waving. Kyōraku's eyes narrowed and he fully turned toward the white-haired man which allowed him to both block out the blond and shield his Jūshirō's vision from him.

Kyōraku wasn't stupid enough to give the white-haired man the aisle seat – he couldn't give Urahara the satisfaction.

"Oi!" Keigo began kneeling on his seat so his head was above the seat in front of him which happened to be Ichigo and Chad's. "How many people are to a room?" Everyone on the bus turned to Ichigo; the redhead in turn directed his gaze toward Grimmjow which caused everyone else to do the same.

"Uh... three or four. Depends on the room size really."

Satisfied with the answer Keigo sat back in his seat next to Mizuiro. "Oh!" The brunet resumed his previous position. "Ichigo, wanna share a room with me?" Glancing to his left, Keigo gulped at the glare he was receiving. "T-That is, i-if you don't already have plans." He muttered slumping back down in his seat sniffling and Mizuiro patted his back and shook his head.

Renji glanced at Grimmjow who sighed furrowing his eyebrows. The blue-haired teen was determined to share a bedroom with poor Ichigo; Renji was certain he would be there to control Grimmjow (i.e. keep his crazy ass away) so now left another poor sap – _uh_ helpful individual – to help on Ichigo's end assuming there was four to a room but if there were three then Renji was certain he'd go it alone.

Chocolate eyes surveyed the bus at Ichigo's friends. With his crazy work schedule he barely had time to interact with any of them but they occasionally came by Las Noches for various things. According to Grimmjow, there was Ichigo's best friend that was currently seated beside him; the brunet behind him who was also a seireitei co-worker; there was the crazy judo chick with the rack bigger than her body perceived, Ichigo's roommate baldy – who was also Yumi's buddy, the scrawny black-haired teen next to the brunet and finally was the bespectacled pervert next to the judo chick.

If he was Ichigo, and he was eternally grateful not to be – as that poor soul was the current object of Grimmjow's affection/harassment – he would choose the big guy not only because they were close but because he was a lot bigger than Grimmjow. It wasn't that Grimmjow would be scared of the big guy it was more like he'd be a shield. But that was, again, only if four were to a room.

"Hey..." Renji nudged Grimmjow, "how long is this ride anyway?" The blue-haired teen seemed to be lost for words for a moment before shrugging. "Right, just wake me up when we get there, okay?"

After an undisclosed amount of time, Renji was loudly awakened to a loud screeching in his ear. Chocolate eyes snapped open to see Yumichika's grinning face in front of his. The screeching didn't belong to the black-haired teen because it was too high; Renji heard Yumichika yell way too many times than he cared to. Eyebrows furrowing he looked around spotting Ichigo's judo friend strangling the bespectacled teen. Ah, that must have been the sound he heard; Renji wasn't entirely sure but he was too busy in a sleep induced delirium to clearly recognize the sound. That small amount of rest he just got was the most he got in weeks. Damn Las Noches and their crazy ass hours!

"Oh, we're here." Grimmjow said pointing to the ski lodge to the left of where the bus was parked. "You were knocked out for three hours man, you even missed the bathroom break we took."

"Yeah." Yumichika chimed in poking Renji's cheeks. "I think we took two with all the coffees we drank to cover your shift. But whatever, we're here!"

The entire bus crowded the left side pressing their faces against a window taking in the sight of the ski lodge. On the outside it didn't look like anything special but the building was big so it was probably far better looking on the inside.

"Listen up~" Kyōraku commanded, flinching slightly when everyone slowly turned to him simultaneously. "Uh... we are guests here so lets not try to drag seireitei's good name down too much. With the discount we got we can freely interact with other vacationers but if things get too personal feel free to charge... if you work for me of course. Other than that, let loose!" Everyone started to exit the bus. "Wait!" They froze turning back to Kyōraku. "At 7:30_pm_ we are taking a group seireitei shot so please do not miss it. I'm not used to photoshop yet."

He received a collective nod (even from people who weren't his employees) before everyone got off the bus then ran inside the ski resort. "Ah kids." Ukitake rose an eyebrow at him.

"You want to run inside too, don't you?" Kyōraku nodded enthsiastically. "Go ahead." Cheering, the brunet ran into the ski resort as well. Sighing, the white-haired man shook his head before following suit. This was going to be a _long_ vacation – if it could even be considered that. Still, being able to get away from work a few days early was always a good thing in Ukitake's opinion and spending time with his best friend wouldn't be so bad either.

Kyōraku always had this habit of spoiling him on his birthday but this year topped the rest by a considerable margin. A ski trip? Who would have thought? The white-haired man wasn't even sure if his best friend could ski. No matter, Ukitake couldn't wait to see what else the brunet would have planned for this undisclosed amount of time.

The employee behind the counter blushed furiously seeing everyone huddle around in the lobby. Kyōraku squeezed through the crowds making his way to the front. "Hello. I'm Kyōraku Shunsui, we spoke on the phone earlier?" The woman nodded. "We'll need our keys if that's alright."

"O-Of course."

"Hey!" Kyōraku yelled through the megaphone that seemingly appeared out of thin air once again. "Everyone head to the front of the building and get into groups of—" He turned to the blushing woman, "how many people to a room?"

"Well, I'd say four is the maximum because there are two king sized beds."

Kyōraku nodded. "Get into groups of three or four!" Grumbling the entire way, the group collectively complied exiting the resort in an 'orderly' fashion.

The brunet, Ukitake and Urahara distributed room card keys to each group of three or four. All the rooms on the left, or odd numbered, were four to a room and the right even numbered rooms had three.

Grimmjow beamed at Kyōraku who handed him an even numbered room; the blue-haired teen glanced at Ichigo who sighed then at Renji winking at him. Great, so now the redhead had to play keep away with Grimmjow for who knew how long! Hopefully, Grimmjow would exercise restraint when it came to harassing poor Ichigo.

Kyōraku moved to Yumichika who was sporting a similar expression to Grimmjow's. Once he received his key he glared at Ikkaku who grabbed Keigo by the arm linking their elbows together – if he was going to get chewed out he wasn't going out alone.

The brunet, however, sighed not liking how this was going to turn out. Sure, it was his duty to make sure Ikkaku didn't get maimed but he had his own body to protect!

"Yumi~" Grimmjow wrapped an arm around the shorter teen's shoulder. "Your room next to mine?" The blue-haired teen flashed the key card at the same time Yumichika did. "Ooh, I wonder if the rooms are attached?"

"Lets check it out!" Renji, Ikkaku, Keigo and Ichigo stared at the duo running off together.

Renji sighed turning to all of them, "I apologize in advance for all the shit you three are going to go through." Shaking his head, he walked off presumably to follow them.

"Ichigo." The redhead glanced up at Chad holding his key card. "Where are you roomed?"

"I have no idea, Grimmjow took my key card... or should I say _our_ key card and left."

"But this is good, right? Its like a romantic—" Keigo trailed off at the glare he was on the receiving end of. "I think I'll see what they're up to..." He robotically walked off heading up the stairs.

The rest of the massive party of both seireitei and Las Noches returned to the inside of the lobby making their way to their rooms. Ichigo and Ikkaku sat in the lobby as they had no idea where their rooms were because their roommates had yet to reappear.

"So..." Ikkaku began, "how long do you think we'll have to wait before they realize we didn't follow them?"

"Not long." Ichigo sighed leaning back in his chair. Sharing a room with Grimmjow? What did he do to deserve this? He should have never called – but he wasn't _that_ upset about a free vacation. He got himself into a big ass mess but Grimmjow easily and eagerly bailed him out of it. The blue-haired teen wasn't that bad of a friend in Ichigo's opinion. In fact, Ichigo wished more of his friends offered to pay for shit even once in a while. If they did he wouldn't be in this mess. Damn cheapskates.

"Ah, before I forget when are we leaving to see your family?"

Ichigo sighed; he was hoping to skip out on that or maybe even bring his father here but it was a Kurosaki tradition for the past eighteen years to have Christmas at home together with as many friends and neighbors as humanly possible. "On Christmas." The redhead called his father _trying_ to explain the situation but Kurosaki Isshin just wasn't having it.

The man was a goofball most of the time but when he got serious... _he. Got. Serious._ There was no way in hell Ichigo was getting out of spending Christmas with them and if he couldn't get out there was no way no one else would get out. Fuck! He really didn't need this. Sighing, Ichigo closed his eyes leaning back in the chair further. He couldn't imagine the catastrophe that would unfold a mere four days from now. But for now he'd enjoy this vacation as much as he could while fending off Grimmjow's perverted antics.

"Oi!" Chocolate eyes snapped open and Ichigo saw Grimmjow's grinning face looming over his. "Come on Berry, I wanna show you **our** room~" Resigning to his fate, Ichigo allowed himself to be pulled out of the comfort of the chair and dragged into the elevator. He saw Yumichika and Keigo dragging Ikkaku out of his chair pulling him. The five teens got into the elevator.

"Hey, check it out." Yumichika said suddenly. "Like Grimmjow and I thought, our rooms are connected. That's great, right?" Ichigo knew his jaw dropped but he couldn't help it. "So we're gonna keep the connecting door unlocked so we can hang out and whatever~" Ichigo didn't know what was worse, being forced to go home for Christmas or dealing with not just Grimmjow but Yumichika too for the entire trip.

"Here we are." Yumichika announced as everyone was standing outside his door. "Grimmjow's room is on the left but we'll walk through my room to illustrate my earlier point."

Everyone complied heading inside Yumichika's room whistling in awe or making other appreciative noises. The hotel accommodations did not disappoint. Ichigo was glad the brochure and website described everything the hotel to a fault. But even the descriptions didn't do this place justice!

"Damn..." Ikkaku said walking ahead of Ichigo. "Are all the rooms this fancy?"

"Lets hope so." Keigo replied, "or better yet lets not so they can be so jealous~"

"I know, right." Ikkaku looked around, "hey. Where's Renji?" Ichigo, Keigo, Yumichika and Grimmjow took the opportunity to look around the joint rooms attempting to spot the aforementioned redhead.

"Dammit, he always does this!" Grimmjow groaned. "He's like a little kid..."

"He's got no fucking sense of direction..." Yumichika added shaking his head.

"Hey..." Everyone turned toward Starrk leaning in the doorway, "missing a redhead? I bumped into Renji about ten minutes ago." Starrk sighed as the group continued to stare at him. "I asked him where he was going and he said he was just looking around. I didn't question it further because I figured one of you guys had to be close behind." Starrk shrugged. "Seeing as how you aren't we might want to send out a search party."

— —

Renji wasn't lost. Of course not! Abarai Renji didn't get lost. He, often, merely had no idea where he was... which truly wasn't the same as being full blown lost. Oh who was he kidding! He was as lost as lost can be! The redhead sighed heavily. If he knew his friends – and he had the unpleasant task of saying he did – they'd be going nuts looking around the place for him. Shit, he was sure to get an earful from Yumichika! He still remembered the black-haired teen yelling at him for getting lost last time. His ears still rung once he heard a certain volume. But no matter how lost he gets he usually ends up finding someway back; like some kind of long-haired boomerang.

Suddenly the lights shut off all around stilling the redhead's movement. _"We apologize for the inconvenience!"_ A voice said overhead from the loudspeaker, _"with the approaching storm the power has shut off... even the backup power source has cut off. Everyone please find a room to remain in until we can get the power back on. Thank you!"_ Despite the severity of the situation the voice overhead seemed just a tad upbeat; perhaps it was an attempt to see the upside of this rather bleak situation?

Wait a minute. Storm!? Renji slowly looked to his left out what used to be a window seeing absolutely nothing. Great, it _was_ winter and it had a tendency to snow higher and heavier in mountainous regions than it did on lower ground but how the hell did the snow pile up so damn fast!? And anyway, whose bright idea was it to go to a ski lodge in the first place? Ah yes, that honor would go to Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow. He's throttle Grimmjow the next time he saw him! Renji sighed again; oh well, the only thing to do was to press onward. Although now that he thought about it, how the hell could he find a room when he couldn't see what was in front of him? Sighing once more, the redhead began walking until he tripped. "Fuck!" He gasped when he felt something akin to a hand on his face. Then he winced and squinted as a bright light was flashed in his face.

"Its you." Renji gulped; he knew_ that_ voice. He heard a sigh then opened his eyes enough to see Byakuya's face with the tiny amount of illumination the black-haired teen's cellphone provided. "I don't have much battery life, can you stand?"

"Y-Yeah..." The redhead attempted to stand but winced at the throbbing pain his ankle seemed to relay to him. "Shit, scratch that. I must have twisted my ankle when I tripped over you." Shit, how cliché was that? Renji sighed, "I should be good in a little while but it kind of hurts a bit now." He saw the light moving so he assumed Byakuya was getting up, "wait... what are you doing?"

"Very well."

"Very well? What's _very well_?"

"I can't just leave you out here. Someone might trip over you and I have no intention of being kicked again." Renji just had a feeling the black-haired teen was glaring at him as he spoke. It wasn't his fault the guy was just crouching or whatever in the middle of the hallway! "You're taller than I am so I can't possibly carry you. We'll have to rely on your other leg to move around. Get up so I can support you."

"I just said I couldn't get—" Renji squirmed as Byakuya pulled him to his feet. Fuck, he was stronger than he looked. "Is this how you treat an injured person?"

"More or less. Come on..." Renji slung an arm around Byakuya's shoulder; Byakuya, in turn, put his arm on Renji's shoulder. There was a height difference but it wasn't anything major like the difference between himself and Yumichika. This whole situation, minus the twisted ankle, was oddly reminiscent of the cultural festival prior to Ichigo defiling the maid cafe.

"Do you know where you're going?"

"No, I'm going to wing it."

"You don't seem to be the type of person to just 'wing it.'"

"You're right." Byakuya glanced at the redhead, "but its better than sitting out here freezing or am I mistaken?"

"No, you're absolutely right... but we're gonna need more light to see where we are going."

"I don't suppose you have a flashlight or a cellphone of your own, do you?"

"I do actually... but both of them are in the room." The redhead chuckled nervously as Byakuya glared at him – he couldn't see it clearly but Renji received enough glares in his lifetime to know when he was getting one. "What? Its not like I expected a storm!"

"Common sense would require checking the weather before orchestrating a trip of this magnitude."

"Eh! W-Wha—? You think _I _orchestrated this crazy thing? On what grounds would you even assume that!?"

"I was told that seireitei employees put this thing together with the help of a first year from Rukongai; then I heard a couple of your fans say that you and Jaegerjaquez did most of the work."

Renji sighed, "I had nothing to do with this!" Brown eyes widened, "y-you know I work for seireitei?"

"Odelschwanck showed me the website."

Renji did a double take then tripped nearly taking Byakuya down with him. "You know Nel too?!"

"So it would appear." Byakuya looked down at his phone, "damn... I need to turn my phone off to preserve what's left of its battery life."

"So we're going to be walking around in total darkness? Well this wouldn't be the first time—"

"I'd hate to interrupt your monologue but I think I saw a door to the left."

"Interrupt away; a door's good, my ankle is killing me."

"Once we sit we can alleviate the pressure." Renji nodded slowly, not exactly certain how to reply. So, Byakuya's hunch was correct and the two teens hobbled to the doorway which wasn't a room but an opened supply closet. The two teens exchanged glances.

"At least we can sit." Renji said letting go of Byakuya and hobbling to a corner of the room to sit down and stretch his leg, "how come this room has lights on?"

"It probably has backup generator or something... although I'm not sure I've ever heard of one being in or near a closet." Byakuya glanced at the redhead rubbing his ankle. It was partially his fault that Renji was in this state since it was his body that was tripped over – but Byakuya couldn't be blamed for the blackout so it really was no harm no foul. Besides, that ankle made contact with his shoulder which hurt a little especially when he had to use it to carry the weight of the redhead. "How's your ankle?"

The clearly startled redhead looked up at Byakuya rotating his shoulders. "Still twisted, if it were broken I could pop it back into place."

Byakuya rose an eyebrow not bothering to mask the disdain on his face. "You can seriously do that?"

"Yeah, Yumichika's the expert on broken bones. He usually breaks about a couple each year then fixes them like its nothing." Renji nodded to himself, "anyway I'm rambling... I'm sure if I could get the blood flowing properly it'll be almost as good as new." Byakuya rose an eyebrow again. "What?"

"I could give you a massage if you need blood flow." The nineteen-year-old shrugged, "its somewhat my fault you're in this state."

"_Attention guests~!_" The same peppy voice from earlier said overhead. _"Uh... with the power out the heat has shut off too."_ Renji and Byakuya glanced up at the nervous laughter heard through the intercom. _"Naturally we won't be charging you for the day on the count of this being a nature thing. It might be hard to ask but try to enjoy the down time and we'll get the power and heat back and running as soon as we can~"_

"So..." Renji began, "should we keep moving to regulate our body temperatures?"

Wordlessly, Byakuya crawled over to the redhead sitting next to him. Fortunately there was a room enough for two bodies (and maybe even a third) to sit comfortably – or as comfortable as possible with a twisted ankle. "We might have to feed off one another's body heat to stay warm or at least keep ourselves from freezing. Prop your leg on mine."

"W-Wha—?"

"I promised you a massage didn't I?" Blushing slightly, Renji hesitantly complied moving his leg – twisted ankle and all – onto Byakuya's lap.

"The tea school must be pretty stressful if you can give massages huh?" Byakuya rose an eyebrow at Renji chuckling. "I-I'm just trying to make conversation; we can't sit here huddled up without talking."

"Did you say cuddled or huddled?"

"H-Huddled. B-But they mean the same thing anyway, right?" Renji winced as Byakuya suddenly began massaging his ankle. The black-haired teen forcefully pressed his thumbs against the sides pressing them together. When Renji hissed Byakuya barely contained the shudder coursing through his body. That damn dream happened this morning and now he had the real thing within arms length and in the dark no less! It wasn't completely dark but it was dark enough! The situation was practically screaming for the two of them to make-out but the nineteen-year-old spent _years_ not acting out on his now spiking hormones and he intended to keep his cool as long as he could. So with that mental debate, the nineteen-year-old resumed his task of massaging the redhead's toned ankle all the while ignoring the grunts spilling from Renji's lips.

— —

Kira was appreciating the view that the lodge provided... until the blackout hit. Naturally, it didn't affect him since he was looking outside and saw the snow piling up like nobodies business. The blond saw the other members of this absurdly large party carrying on and getting their rooms; he saw Renji walking around – prior to the blackout – and they engaged in conversation briefly before he went on his way.

The blond was content with just relaxing in the lobby until the lights came back on but his bladder decided against that. Of course with no lights and no heat Kira couldn't go to his room – especially considering he didn't know who he was roomed with since he spent his entire time here in the lobby. The blond figured he was probably left out of getting a room since he rarely presented a presence which was often considered a good thing.

"I told you this was a stupid idea!" Kira heard an unfamiliar voice say. "Dammit, stuck in a blackout."

"Look at it this way, if we get a room we won't have to pay~" A different unfamiliar voice retorted. The blond heard footsteps then a loud thud. "Ow! Dude watch where the hell you're going!"

"Sorry man." Kira flinched in his chair. Shit, of course Abirama would be here. But with Abirama more often than not meant Vega had to be somewhere around here too.

"I'm not a man jackass."

"I didn't mean it like that. I felt that you weren't a man."

"You pervert! You felt me up!?"

"Dammit Abirama, where the hell are you? My night vision is good but not this good." Kira slunk down in his seat. This could not be happening.

A loud thud alerted Kira to look in front of him where he saw a large silhouette of a person on the ground in front of him. "Fuck. Huh?" The person turned to him before moving. "Kira?" The blond flinched as hands came to rest on his thighs. "I'd know these legs anywhere." Fuck was right. The black-haired teen stood before sitting on the chair – or rather on the blond's lap.

"M-My legs..."

"Oops! Sorry, get up so you can sit on me."

"B-But—"

"But is right." Kira found himself being hoisted out of his chair briefly before coming to rest on Abirama's lap. "Ah, this feels right." The black-haired teen grabbed something then put it on the chair arm.

"What the hell?" Kira yelped as something touched him. "Ah! Its Kira. How'd you know it was him?"

"Luck I guess."

"Oof! Oh for fuck's sake!" Abirama grabbed something else putting it on the chair. "Oh, thanks... hey! You're the perv who groped me!"

"Blame it on the blackout!"

"Hold on..." Vega began, "are we supposed to just sit in this comfy chair until the power comes back on?" The teen huffed, "great... stuck in a chair with a bunch of fucking morons."

"You're the fucking moron!"

"Shut up!" Abirama screamed bashing the arguing teen's heads together. "If we're gonna be stuck we should get to know one another. I'm Redder Abirama! Next."

Kira flinched as he was nudged, more like pinched, "I-I'm Kira Izuru."

"Ggio Vega."

"Kotetsu Kiyone... and my friend apparently disappeared." She huffed, "I wonder where the bathroom is?"

— —

"Of all the things a damn blackout!" Yumichika hollered sidling along the wall. "I feel like a criminal trying not to get caught by the spotlight! This is so damn... _oof!_"

"Are you alright?"

"Do I sound alright?!" Huffing, the black-haired teen slowly stood dusting himself off. "Renji just _had_ to get lost in the middle of a blackout, didn't he? He couldn't wait until the lights came on to wander off?"

"In his defense it wasn't a blackout until a few minutes after he left."

"Hey Berry, don't forget I literally saved your ass from Grimmjow's wrath because when the lights go out the clothes come off for Jaegerjaquez." Ichigo gulped. "I mean... I'm sometimes like that too but that's irrelevant." Huffing, Yumichika paused. "How are you walking perfect?"

"How can you tell?"

"You're not panting or struggling like I am and you didn't trip three times already ...unless you're putting on a front."

"I have pretty good night vision." Ichigo replied with a shrug, "so... about Renji, you said he does this often right so do you have any idea where he might be inclined to be?"

Yumichika sighed, "nope. We were going to put a leash on him since he likes to wander but that would seem too kinky; we're still waiting for the tracking device we ordered a week ago though."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"I'd like to tell you that but I'm not. He usually comes back on his own, like some kind of dog... a sexy long-haired wild dog but its not without complications... I mean I'm a month younger than him but sometimes it seems like I'm older and shit." Yumichika stopped walking again to look around. "Hey! Where are you?" The black-haired teen meeped as a hand grabbed his. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"Sorry. I think its better if we keep together, don't you?"

"You know, if Grimmjow didn't catch your eye first I'd totally gun for you no joke." Yumichika leered poking Ichigo's face, "I may not have good night vision but I can tell you're blushing~"

"I-I'm not." Ichigo swatted the hand away. "A-And Grimmjow didn't _catch my eye_."

"Well you certainly caught his."

"What?"

"I said if you're not into him its cool if we flirt a little, right?"

"I thought you liked Ikkaku." Ichigo covered his mouth. It was already cold but the temperature appeared to decrease. "W-What I meant was—"

"Listen, I like a lot of people... but that stubborn ass bastard roommate of yours isn't exactly in that 'like' column right now!" Yumichika even cracked his knuckles at the end of that sentence! Ichigo had no idea what Ikkaku did _this time_ to piss Yumichika off but ever since the two of them began meeting face-to-face (whether it was via seireitei or on campus) they've been arguing. It probably didn't help that Ikkaku had quite the argumentative personality and was stubborn as hell, as Yumichika said; Ichigo had a similar personality but he wasn't on trial here.

"I'd hate to stick up for Ikkaku but he's not gonna know what he did wrong unless you tell him." Ichigo sighed, "glaring at me isn't going to help your situation."

"So, you're telling me to be more vocal with Ikkaku? Fine. I can be vocal." Ichigo felt the hand in his tighten its grip. "I can definitely be more vocal." Ichigo sighed internally as they started walking faster with Yumichika easily walking ahead. Great, what the hell mess did he unwillingly get Ikkaku into?

"H-Hey, m-maybe we should find somewhere to sit down and look for Renji when the lights come back on?"

"That's not a bad idea Berry, I agree."

— —

Of all the things to happen today – just as he finally got some alone time with Jūshirō ...he lost him in this blackout! A blackout with no heat! This situation was begging for cuddle time but now Kyōraku wasn't sure if this was a blessing or a curse! Jūshirō stepped out briefly to do something of a boring, school-related nature; not even ten minutes passed when the power shut off including the charger charging Kyoraku's dead cellphone battery so he couldn't check on his somewhat loyal employees to see how they were fairing but his main concern was his best friend who could possibly be in the same vicinity as Urahara. Kyōraku wasn't certain but it was almost like a sixth sense that the blond was near Jūshirō at some point within the last half hour.

The door opened startling the brunet who sat up from his previously comfortable spot on his bed. As an adult, and chaperone of sorts, he was entitled to his own room but why the hell would he do that when Jūshirō was with him? So he opted for sharing a bedroom with him~

Frowning slightly, Kyōraku got off the bed completely walking toward what he hoped was the door. "Shunsui?" Kyōraku blushed slightly as he felt an all too familiar pair of hands on his shoulders. "Oh thank goodness! I'm glad I got the right room this time." Sighing in relief, the white-haired man's hands disappeared from Kyōraku's shoulders and the brunet heard footsteps retreating from him.

"Wait... what do you mean _this time?_ How many rooms did you go in?"

"Not sure... I forgot where the room was, plus I couldn't really see, so I went into every unlocked room looking for you. I knew, at least I _hoped_, you weren't stupid enough to leave and look for me."

"Of course." The brunet chuckled; especially since that was exactly what he was going to do so perhaps he was stupid enough ...or maybe stupider? Clearing his throat, Kyōraku joined his best friend on the bed... or he would have if he didn't miss falling on the floor.

"Are you alright?!" Ukitake shrieked accidentally kicking the already fallen man before checking on him. "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were so close!"

"Its okay, its not like the blackout when we were in elementary school I'll be fine." Ukitake sighed in relief. "So... d-did you see Urahara-san?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"My Jūshirō sense was tingling."

"Funny, my Shunsui sense was saying you were about to do something reckless if I didn't get back." The white-haired man helped Kyōraku get in a sitting position. "You didn't do anything... did you?"

"No, I was about to do something but I don't know if it would be considered reckless."

The white-haired man paused briefly before frowning. "I don't even want to know."

"It wasn't illegal or anything, I was—" Ukitake covered the brunet's mouth.

"Its okay, lets just try and stay warm." Kyōraku removed the hands on his mouth.

"Are you giving us permission to snuggle?" The white-haired man blushed furiously thankful that the darkness concealed it but he knew his best friend too well so not seeing wasn't really a factor. "Shi-chan~" Kyōraku cooed snuggling up closer to him. "We should get under the covers so we can be warmer." Resigning to his fate, Ukitake slowly and carefully got off the bed as did Kyōraku then the white-haired man stared at complete nothingness as the brunet presumably unmade the bed so they could lay under. Despite being born in December, Ukitake didn't take to the cold weather very well. Because of this, Kyōraku was usually well-prepared for the colder months and often took any opportunity he could get to get in some 'cuddle time' to keep his best friend warm. It was bullshit, Ukitake knew, weather or not Kyōraku was incredibly affectionate and occasionally a pervert (he did single-handedly come up with the idea for seireitei after all) but cuddling together was something they did for years – they even did it in the warmer months. The white-haired man sighed snapping out of his reverie as he heard the brunet pat the bed.

"Is everything to your liking, your highness?"

"Hey, you're the birthday boy."

"That's right..." Ukitake said crawling into the bed, "I almost forgot its still my birthday... and the day is only halfway over." He nearly flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder drawing him closer.

"So, what do you want to do? Name anything and I'll try my best to comply!"

Chuckling, the white-haired man put his head on Kyōraku's shoulder. "I doubt anything I could ask for would compare to being in a blackout in the cold." Kyōraku laughed, "but seriously though... I enjoyed this. Really. Well the idea anyway, the execution not so much."

Kyōraku sighed, "I intended on taking you out to dinner at a place Kurotsuchi-san told me about but I guess that's out..."

"Well, it may not be fancy but we could have dinner right here – when the power comes back of course because I know you were going to say we have no power so we can't cook." Kyōraku snapped his mouth shut. Damn, Jūshirō knew him so well it was scary...


End file.
